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ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister


HA - you cant have it.  i have a ticklish bottom.  Its also a VERY sensitive area......... so when its bitten i tend to cry, squirm like mad, and giggle.   You'd have to be much bigger then me to sink your teeth in.  i may be little, but i'm a fast little squirt.

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

.....there is a school of thought in this lifestyle that simply because one person is giving an order, no matter WHAT that order may be, and another person follows that order, no matter WHAT it may be, that the first person is a Dominant and the latter a submissive. i actually find this thinking far too simplistic, because it implies that Dominance and submission have zero to do with personality or nature, and everything to do with action and reaction.

first you said this... which I happen to agree with you.   It's more to do with Motivation of said actions and reactions... and our motivations can be very much driven from our peronality and inner natures.


However,  Then you go to say this..

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..... however i do not feel that a submissive can be a sadist, nor a Dominant a masochist, because of what i have explained earlier about the nature of those particular personality types. but you have to remember that when i say "a submissive" or "a Dominant" i'm probably referring to something a bit different than most here. i'm not speaking of sexual roles or even relationship roles, but basic core personalities.

you contradict yourself.  Here you denote that a Sadist (which is just some that takes action of a particular type" can't come from a submssive..

so in other words.. suddenly actions do dictate dominance and submission....

your logic is flawed...  

actually, i do not agree that being a sadist or a masochist is all about particular actions. they are about desires, needs. the need to inflict suffering, and the need to suffer. imo a person with a dominant personality could not have the need to suffer, nor could a person with a submissive personality have a need to inflict suffering.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

???  So submissives never have a need to inflict pain?   Dominants never have a need to feel pain????
I could maybe...just maybe...go along with that because I am not sure that inflicting or receiving anything other than food, water, shelter is an inborn need but you also use the term desire...so any submissive who experiences a desire to hurt someone is no longer submissive at her core?  Any dominant who desires to experience a hurt of some sort is no longer dominant at their core?

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ORIGINAL: CollaredByBob

I wouldnt dream or dare to bite my Master

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant


If you truly feel that being wanting to be bitten brings into question one's dominance, then wouldn't you have to say the same about someone who wants to have their cock sucked?  Both are...after all...about receiving sensation.  Having your cock sucked can sometimes create a feeling of exquisite tenderness...there is just that very, very slight hint of pain that comes with various types of cocksucking technique.  Does the fact that someone would enjoy this type of cocksucking...even with its minimal pain...make them less dominant? 
If dominance is only about doing things to someone, then that could certainly explain about why a dominant female who likes sucking her submissive's cock can still be seen as dominant...but if that is so, then under your line of thinking, wouldn't the submissive who sucks her dominant's cock without being told to be committing an act of aggression...doing something to her dominant...and therefore also be committing a dominant act?

I can see that we are going to have to agree to disagree on this.  I see myself as dominant.  I am sure that the others who have written in the same manner as I see themselves or their dominant as being dominant with no questions about it.  It is your belief...from what I can gather....that the acceptance of any act from a submissive towards a dominant that is even slightly aggressive, such as biting, by the dominant...brings into question his dominance.  IMHO, that is too simplistic and does not allow for the wide variety of differences in what people like in their lives.  Hmmmmmmmmmm....I have been known to cry at sad movies...does this also make me less dominant?

sigh. as you said, we'll just have to agree to disagree. there is a school of thought in this lifestyle that simply because one person is giving an order, no matter WHAT that order may be, and another person follows that order, no matter WHAT it may be, that the first person is a Dominant and the latter a submissive. i actually find this thinking far too simplistic, because it implies that Dominance and submission have zero to do with personality or nature, and everything to do with action and reaction.

now, why would i question a person's dominance based on a particular action? well, it is my little old belief (and obviously my Master's as well) that a person of a certain nature, would not have a desire for certain things. for instance, a painfully shy and introverted person would not appreciate being surprised with the entire staff at applebee's coming over to their table with a big cake and singing happy birthday. so likewise, a person with a dominant nature would not desire to have pain inflicted on them or to be placed in a powerless position (like bondage). yes, i understand that sadism and masochism are quite separate from Dominance and submissiveness. i do not think that a Dominant must be a sadist or that a submissive must be a masochist. however i do not feel that a submissive can be a sadist, nor a Dominant a masochist, because of what i have explained earlier about the nature of those particular personality types. but you have to remember that when i say "a submissive" or "a Dominant" i'm probably referring to something a bit different than most here. i'm not speaking of sexual roles or even relationship roles, but basic core personalities.

so i hope that explains my p.o.v. a wee bit better, even if we must disagree.

oh, as an aside, you have totally lost me on the cock sucking analogy...i can't imagine a Dominant wanting to have his cock sucked in some painful manner anymore than i can imagine a Dominant wanting to be bitten or wanting a strapon up the bum. i do not feel that dominance is only about "doing things" to someone. not sure how you got that idea.

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
actually, i do not agree that being a sadist or a masochist is all about particular actions. they are about desires, needs. the need to inflict suffering, and the need to suffer. imo a person with a dominant personality could not have the need to suffer, nor could a person with a submissive personality have a need to inflict suffering.

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ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl
Just where do you draw the line?

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ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

I'll take a good bite anyday be it from sub/slave/switch or Domme.

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ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
actually, i do not agree that being a sadist or a masochist is all about particular actions. they are about desires, needs. the need to inflict suffering, and the need to suffer. imo a person with a dominant personality could not have the need to suffer, nor could a person with a submissive personality have a need to inflict suffering.

You know that you and i are probably on the opposite spectrum of D/s....and i have no problem with that....but i have to agree with what you have said in your posts on this subject.  First of all, i am not a sadist in any way, shape or form....so i have no desire to inflict pain on anyone in any manner.  Therefore, i would not choose a partner who was a masochist.  So that part is simple for me.
 
Now this other part is a bit harder to explain but i'll give it my best shot.  my very first dom called himself a Master.  6 months into the relationship, i found he wanted me to do some things to him....bondage, beating and strapons.  Since i could not bring myself to do those things to him, the relationship ended.  During our conversations, he admitted to me he was a switch.  i was fine with that, but knew he was not the partner for me.
 
i realize that other subs can do a lot of things because it is Master's will or it pleases him....but i do wonder where the boundaries are between dom/sub.  So if Master wants to dress up like a sissy maid, serve you, then get fucked in the ass....that is okay because he's the dom and that's what he orders?  i guess that is the part i can't seem to distinguish.  Just where do you draw the line?
 
my whole thing is that i have an issue with feeling as i am the aggressive one, regardless in what capacity.  When i was vanilla and went out to a bar, i talked with a lot of guys but never hit on them.  i figured if they were interested, then they should have the balls to confront me.  If they were wishy-washy about it or just too shy, then they probably weren't the right partner for me anyway.
 
i am the same on here.  Although i saw many interesting dom profiles, if they said 'contact me', i did not.  i put myself out there and i am sure i was seen...if they did not contact me....oh well, i guess they weren't very interested.
 
Also, i have never been the type to ask for sex, or play, or a spanking, or discipline....anything like that.  When my partners were ready for such things, then they happened. 
 
i feel no need to denigrate those that 'bottom in the name of dominance' (as i call it)....nor do i have a need to say they are less of, or less than, any other other dominant.  But i can most assuredly say that this would not be the type of partner for me....just as i can say that a gor or poly dom would not be for me either.  i guess we all just attract to different things.
 
DG

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ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

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ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister


HA - you cant have it.  i have a ticklish bottom.  Its also a VERY sensitive area......... so when its bitten i tend to cry, squirm like mad, and giggle.   You'd have to be much bigger then me to sink your teeth in.  i may be little, but i'm a fast little squirt.

I wonder if she talks that smack when she is tied up?