RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/16/2007 8:51:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I have went through the "ignore" thing in a past relationship... I just can't do that anymore for long periods of time. If he needs to get his head together, think about things, decide what he wants to do before we talk... that is one thing... but I have "ignoring me" as a hard limit how. I just have too many issues I guess, and that feeds into a primal one for me.

IMO ignoring is only a useful tool about .05% of the time, and only for very short periods.

Most of the time it's just lazy doms who don't know how to effectively train and want to get the sub all worked up about not having the connection and scared to lose it that they don't notice the problems in the relationship itself.


I would completely agree with that, at least in my case, hence he is a "former" dominant[:D]



agirl -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 7:27:23 AM)

If you're speaking about thought out and deserved *punishment* or penalty.....then it would be cold, hard caning.

I don't consider his disappointment a punishment, I consider it a reaction, with unpleasant consequences. No, it wouldn't feel *nice*.... but it wouldn't be used as a *punishment*. I don't see it as such and he wouldn't use it as such anymore than he'd use abandonment or ignoring me.

Emotional manipulation or blackmail would work, without a doubt, but it has a limited lifespan.

agirl

agirl




















sambamanslilgirl -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 7:38:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many doms, when they enforce the "ignore" punishment, also force the slave to be grounded so they can't go online and commisserate/brag/gain condolence from their friends or online peeps?

i can go online ...journal what i'm feeling while serving Daddy's punishment however i'm not looking for sympathy/condolences since i've accepted i was in the wrong. the last time, He gave me this type of punishment, i was a nervous wreck because i  knew i really upsetted and disappointed Him with my disobedience. i begged for Him to talk to me ...He refused and said He didn't want to hear my voice until He was ready. He wasn't ready until 30hrs later.



SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 7:41:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wyldsubmissive

I recently  read the post on here about a submissive's biggest fear. That sparked a question within my own self.

What is your worse personal punishment? A majority of girls might say abandonment but mine is something much more physical.

As a person specifically I -thrive- on touch. I literally need human contact. If I don't get it I break down and hard. (It happened last night and I haven't told m'Lady yet.) I need touch like I need air. As a slave I need to be touched by the person I submit to. And when they don't touch me I start running through every bad thing I've done that could merit such action.

So, as they say: I'll show you mine if you show me yours. 


Glad to see that posts influence other post to think about

Here's a toast that's a bit contradictory - but then isn't that classically Irish?
If  you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love.
If you must steal, steal away from bad company.
If you must cheat, cheat death.
And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.
Attributed to Brianne Kelly Darragh
 

According to Bridgetâ's mother, it's bad luck to toast with an empty glass or clink one with another
 
Ross
©º°¨¨°º©



_____________________________

Bon D' Age' : BDSM
http://www.cafepress.com/bondage69/1147250
Bon D' Age' : Spank Me Like You Mean It!
http://www.cafepress.com/bondage69/2349056



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 8:42:50 AM)

i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.



juliaoceania -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 8:53:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


If that works for you guys, that is fine, but I do not think LA said "all", she said "most". It is precisely because it makes me a basketcase that is has become a hardlimit for me... but 99% of the time disapproval of my actions is enough to bring about a permanent change in them, making me a basketcase would not be productive in my relationship.

In anthropology courses one learns that shunning is very powerful because to be shunned meant death in our history. My former dominant used this fear as a mechanism to manipulate me in a way that caused me to literally seek therapy because I developed an anxiety disorder because of it. So I have a jaded view of the entire ignoring thing. But I doubt your dominant does it like I had it done to me.

Telling someone that you will not speak with them for an hour or a day is different than not talking to them for an undisclosed period of time that stretches on for days and days.



onestandingstill -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 8:54:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many doms, when they enforce the "ignore" punishment, also force the slave to be grounded so they can't go online and commisserate/brag/gain condolence from their friends or online peeps?

I know one. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m25.gif[/image]
I was once made to delete my online address book of all lifestyle friends, not allowed to take phone calls or talk to adults except at work, had to kill my plantlady64 profile here since you can't turn it off, and turned off one other account.

The not talking to any adult except my immediate family and at work lasted about two weeks and the rest about two months.
suzanne



agirl -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 9:03:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


I'd really dislike, and eventually lose respect for someone using an emotional fear to control me to the point that I was a basket case. I'm not slamming it; it's obviously effective.

agirl



blushingflower -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 9:23:22 AM)

Simply being punished is punishment for me. I don't like displeasing my Daddy, and I don't like the thought that I've done something to merit punishment.  So if he decides that what I need is a flogging, or to be ignored, or whatever, then that's punishment. 
There are other things that drive me crazy, but they're not punishment, per se, and I wouldn't appreciate having them used as punishment, because it wouldn't be constructive correction, it would be emotional abuse.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 9:29:21 AM)

Daddy is not using my emotional fear to control me. i have problems with abandonment once i'm attached to someone i care about (stems from being a military child all my life).  Daddy's a doctor (psychiatrist) so He knows how much i can handle while punishing me like this and it's not used to manipulate me either.



juliaoceania -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 9:35:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

Daddy is not using my emotional fear to control me. i have problems with abandonment once i'm attached to someone i care about (stems from being a military child all my life).  Daddy's a doctor (psychiatrist) so He knows how much i can handle while punishing me like this and it's not used to manipulate me either.



We were just responding to what you wrote , not personally attacking you or your Daddy

quote:

He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


If you are ok with what happens in your relationship and happy that is all that matters. I was not saying you shouldn't be, but I was responding to the wording of your post.



azzmaster -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 9:40:26 AM)

i think its weak to manipulate ur sub. if u really dom u just have to react how u feel to punish and tell the sub what is expected. i don't have time for games unless they sexual



ClubMix -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 9:51:16 AM)

My worst punishment is being made to sleep on the floor instead of on the bed. I can't get to sleep ever so I just have to lay there thinking about what I did wrong.



ownedgirlie -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 9:58:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


I'd really dislike, and eventually lose respect for someone using an emotional fear to control me to the point that I was a basket case. I'm not slamming it; it's obviously effective.

agirl



Former Dom did this and I was beyond basket case when he was done with me.  I was nearly irreparable.

To clarify my former post, my Master's anger is not punishment - he has certainly inflicted actual punishments on me, but his anger makes me feel worse than anything he can inflict.  This used to not be the case for me though.  It used to be the punishment I loathed.  But as I grew more and more bonded to him, any time the emotional connection is amiss, I suffer greatly.

Then again he has never used a cane on me...*shudders* - I might feel a lot differently if that were the case!!



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 10:17:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I'd really dislike, and eventually lose respect for someone using an emotional fear to control me to the point that I was a basket case. I'm not slamming it; it's obviously effective.

agirl

Short term maybe...



FelinePersuasion -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 10:25:32 AM)

did he even stop to think how it'd look or make other people feel to hagve you seemingly ignore them? Were you allowed to tell them it's not us, it's a punishment for me?

I would never agree to not taking calls or talking to any of my friends I talk to daily or quit regularly, or at least not with out telling them I am under restriction and it's not an issue with our friendship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I know one. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m25.gif[/image]
I was once made to delete my online address book of all lifestyle friends, not allowed to take phone calls or talk to adults except at work, had to kill my plantlady64 profile here since you can't turn it off, and turned off one other account.

The not talking to any adult except my immediate family and at work lasted about two weeks and the rest about two months.
suzanne



HisProperty4Life -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 10:37:38 AM)

i HATE hearing the word DISAPPOINTED. Hearing that from Master really drives the point home.




agirl -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 12:32:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

Daddy is not using my emotional fear to control me. i have problems with abandonment once i'm attached to someone i care about (stems from being a military child all my life).  Daddy's a doctor (psychiatrist) so He knows how much i can handle while punishing me like this and it's not used to manipulate me either.



 I'm not knocking you or your Daddy, so I hope you don't read that into my words. As Julia already said.... you're content with the way things are and that's what matters.

I, however, WOULD see that as emotional manipulation if it was used in my case, let's put it that way.

agirl







agirl -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 12:53:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


I'd really dislike, and eventually lose respect for someone using an emotional fear to control me to the point that I was a basket case. I'm not slamming it; it's obviously effective.

agirl



Former Dom did this and I was beyond basket case when he was done with me.  I was nearly irreparable.

To clarify my former post, my Master's anger is not punishment - he has certainly inflicted actual punishments on me, but his anger makes me feel worse than anything he can inflict.  This used to not be the case for me though.  It used to be the punishment I loathed.  But as I grew more and more bonded to him, any time the emotional connection is amiss, I suffer greatly.

Then again he has never used a cane on me...*shudders* - I might feel a lot differently if that were the case!!


Yes, I understand what you mean, ownedgirlie. Sometimes things aren't *quite right* and I am always horribly uncomfortable when that happens.


agirl











TemptingNviceSub -> RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? (2/17/2007 3:01:28 PM)

Well never having been punished..I am not sure what would work with me..I do however know what would not work ....any emotional withdrawal or turning his back upon me would ensure ,as Devilslilsister stated, that once he turned back to me..I would not be there either emotionally or more than likely physically either...I would shut him out fully...and never to be able to come back to a viable D/s relationship with him again..I feel that handling situations by withdrawing from your partner emotionally as a way of punishment is ineffective, it can create distance and cut off any ability to communicate. And once that happens, kiss any expectations of revival goodbye...Tempting



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