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RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/16/2007 8:51:15 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I have went through the "ignore" thing in a past relationship... I just can't do that anymore for long periods of time. If he needs to get his head together, think about things, decide what he wants to do before we talk... that is one thing... but I have "ignoring me" as a hard limit how. I just have too many issues I guess, and that feeds into a primal one for me.

IMO ignoring is only a useful tool about .05% of the time, and only for very short periods.

Most of the time it's just lazy doms who don't know how to effectively train and want to get the sub all worked up about not having the connection and scared to lose it that they don't notice the problems in the relationship itself.


I would completely agree with that, at least in my case, hence he is a "former" dominant

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 7:27:23 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		If you're speaking about thought out and deserved *punishment* or penalty.....then it would be cold, hard caning.

I don't consider his disappointment a punishment, I consider it a reaction, with unpleasant consequences. No, it wouldn't feel *nice*.... but it wouldn't be used as a *punishment*. I don't see it as such and he wouldn't use it as such anymore than he'd use abandonment or ignoring me.

Emotional manipulation or blackmail would work, without a doubt, but it has a limited lifespan.

agirl

agirl


















(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 7:38:34 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many doms, when they enforce the "ignore" punishment, also force the slave to be grounded so they can't go online and commisserate/brag/gain condolence from their friends or online peeps?

i can go online ...journal what i'm feeling while serving Daddy's punishment however i'm not looking for sympathy/condolences since i've accepted i was in the wrong. the last time, He gave me this type of punishment, i was a nervous wreck because i  knew i really upsetted and disappointed Him with my disobedience. i begged for Him to talk to me ...He refused and said He didn't want to hear my voice until He was ready. He wasn't ready until 30hrs later.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 7:41:01 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wyldsubmissive

I recently  read the post on here about a submissive's biggest fear. That sparked a question within my own self.

What is your worse personal punishment? A majority of girls might say abandonment but mine is something much more physical.

As a person specifically I -thrive- on touch. I literally need human contact. If I don't get it I break down and hard. (It happened last night and I haven't told m'Lady yet.) I need touch like I need air. As a slave I need to be touched by the person I submit to. And when they don't touch me I start running through every bad thing I've done that could merit such action.

So, as they say: I'll show you mine if you show me yours. 


Glad to see that posts influence other post to think about

Here's a toast that's a bit contradictory - but then isn't that classically Irish?
If  you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love.
If you must steal, steal away from bad company.
If you must cheat, cheat death.
And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.
Attributed to Brianne Kelly Darragh
 

According to Bridgetâ's mother, it's bad luck to toast with an empty glass or clink one with another
 
Ross
©º°¨¨°º©



_____________________________

Bon D' Age' : BDSM
http://www.cafepress.com/bondage69/1147250
Bon D' Age' : Spank Me Like You Mean It!
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(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 8:42:50 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 8:53:22 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


If that works for you guys, that is fine, but I do not think LA said "all", she said "most". It is precisely because it makes me a basketcase that is has become a hardlimit for me... but 99% of the time disapproval of my actions is enough to bring about a permanent change in them, making me a basketcase would not be productive in my relationship.

In anthropology courses one learns that shunning is very powerful because to be shunned meant death in our history. My former dominant used this fear as a mechanism to manipulate me in a way that caused me to literally seek therapy because I developed an anxiety disorder because of it. So I have a jaded view of the entire ignoring thing. But I doubt your dominant does it like I had it done to me.

Telling someone that you will not speak with them for an hour or a day is different than not talking to them for an undisclosed period of time that stretches on for days and days.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 8:54:30 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many doms, when they enforce the "ignore" punishment, also force the slave to be grounded so they can't go online and commisserate/brag/gain condolence from their friends or online peeps?

I know one.
I was once made to delete my online address book of all lifestyle friends, not allowed to take phone calls or talk to adults except at work, had to kill my plantlady64 profile here since you can't turn it off, and turned off one other account.

The not talking to any adult except my immediate family and at work lasted about two weeks and the rest about two months.
suzanne

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 9:03:10 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


I'd really dislike, and eventually lose respect for someone using an emotional fear to control me to the point that I was a basket case. I'm not slamming it; it's obviously effective.

agirl

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 9:23:22 AM   
blushingflower


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Simply being punished is punishment for me. I don't like displeasing my Daddy, and I don't like the thought that I've done something to merit punishment.  So if he decides that what I need is a flogging, or to be ignored, or whatever, then that's punishment. 
There are other things that drive me crazy, but they're not punishment, per se, and I wouldn't appreciate having them used as punishment, because it wouldn't be constructive correction, it would be emotional abuse.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 9:29:21 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		Daddy is not using my emotional fear to control me. i have problems with abandonment once i'm attached to someone i care about (stems from being a military child all my life).  Daddy's a doctor (psychiatrist) so He knows how much i can handle while punishing me like this and it's not used to manipulate me either.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 9:35:05 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

Daddy is not using my emotional fear to control me. i have problems with abandonment once i'm attached to someone i care about (stems from being a military child all my life).  Daddy's a doctor (psychiatrist) so He knows how much i can handle while punishing me like this and it's not used to manipulate me either.



We were just responding to what you wrote , not personally attacking you or your Daddy

quote:

He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


If you are ok with what happens in your relationship and happy that is all that matters. I was not saying you shouldn't be, but I was responding to the wording of your post.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 9:40:26 AM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		i think its weak to manipulate ur sub. if u really dom u just have to react how u feel to punish and tell the sub what is expected. i don't have time for games unless they sexual

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 9:51:16 AM   
ClubMix


Posts: 75
Joined: 9/20/2004
Status: offline 		My worst punishment is being made to sleep on the floor instead of on the bed. I can't get to sleep ever so I just have to lay there thinking about what I did wrong.

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 9:58:37 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


I'd really dislike, and eventually lose respect for someone using an emotional fear to control me to the point that I was a basket case. I'm not slamming it; it's obviously effective.

agirl



Former Dom did this and I was beyond basket case when he was done with me.  I was nearly irreparable.

To clarify my former post, my Master's anger is not punishment - he has certainly inflicted actual punishments on me, but his anger makes me feel worse than anything he can inflict.  This used to not be the case for me though.  It used to be the punishment I loathed.  But as I grew more and more bonded to him, any time the emotional connection is amiss, I suffer greatly.

Then again he has never used a cane on me...*shudders* - I might feel a lot differently if that were the case!!

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 10:17:43 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I'd really dislike, and eventually lose respect for someone using an emotional fear to control me to the point that I was a basket case. I'm not slamming it; it's obviously effective.

agirl

Short term maybe...

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 10:25:32 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		did he even stop to think how it'd look or make other people feel to hagve you seemingly ignore them? Were you allowed to tell them it's not us, it's a punishment for me?

I would never agree to not taking calls or talking to any of my friends I talk to daily or quit regularly, or at least not with out telling them I am under restriction and it's not an issue with our friendship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I know one.
I was once made to delete my online address book of all lifestyle friends, not allowed to take phone calls or talk to adults except at work, had to kill my plantlady64 profile here since you can't turn it off, and turned off one other account.

The not talking to any adult except my immediate family and at work lasted about two weeks and the rest about two months.
suzanne

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 10:37:38 AM   
HisProperty4Life


Posts: 142
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		i HATE hearing the word DISAPPOINTED. Hearing that from Master really drives the point home.



_____________________________

Sincerely,

HisProperty4Life

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 12:32:43 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

Daddy is not using my emotional fear to control me. i have problems with abandonment once i'm attached to someone i care about (stems from being a military child all my life).  Daddy's a doctor (psychiatrist) so He knows how much i can handle while punishing me like this and it's not used to manipulate me either.



 I'm not knocking you or your Daddy, so I hope you don't read that into my words. As Julia already said.... you're content with the way things are and that's what matters.

I, however, WOULD see that as emotional manipulation if it was used in my case, let's put it that way.

agirl





(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 12:53:14 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i have to disagree with the assumption that Doms who use the ignore/abandonment as punishment are lazy. you cannot generalize without understanding why my Daddy uses this punishment. He uses my greatest fear against me because spankings won't work (i love being spanked) for me and/or sending me to a corner really doesn't do anything for me. however, say that you don't want to talk to me and physically shun me - i become a basket case.


I'd really dislike, and eventually lose respect for someone using an emotional fear to control me to the point that I was a basket case. I'm not slamming it; it's obviously effective.

agirl



Former Dom did this and I was beyond basket case when he was done with me.  I was nearly irreparable.

To clarify my former post, my Master's anger is not punishment - he has certainly inflicted actual punishments on me, but his anger makes me feel worse than anything he can inflict.  This used to not be the case for me though.  It used to be the punishment I loathed.  But as I grew more and more bonded to him, any time the emotional connection is amiss, I suffer greatly.

Then again he has never used a cane on me...*shudders* - I might feel a lot differently if that were the case!!


Yes, I understand what you mean, ownedgirlie. Sometimes things aren't *quite right* and I am always horribly uncomfortable when that happens.


agirl









(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: The worst punishment for you specifically? - 2/17/2007 3:01:28 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Well never having been punished..I am not sure what would work with me..I do however know what would not work ....any emotional withdrawal or turning his back upon me would ensure ,as Devilslilsister stated, that once he turned back to me..I would not be there either emotionally or more than likely physically either...I would shut him out fully...and never to be able to come back to a viable D/s relationship with him again..I feel that handling situations by withdrawing from your partner emotionally as a way of punishment is ineffective, it can create distance and cut off any ability to communicate. And once that happens, kiss any expectations of revival goodbye...Tempting

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 60
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