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ORIGINAL: catize

Integrity is an equal opportunity trait.  You either have it or don’t, whether life has blessed or cursed you. 

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

No matter how attractive a women is, there is someone who is tired of fucking her.

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ORIGINAL: TypeAsub1

Interestingly - a recent study which was being discussed on CNN this weekend indicated that goodlooking men were more likely to earn more money than men who were not as good looking in comparable positions.  An older study indicated that taller men were more likely to receive promotions.

The same recent study indicated that white women who were overweight made less money than other women in comparable jobs - but that the weight issue was not a factor for black women.  Odd that one.

How we perceive people is not so easily identified by one or two indicators.  Is a good character enough to create the chemistry I require for a D/s relationship?  Not a chance.  I require a lot more than that.  Is income a factor?  Yes, absolutely!  If a Dom can't pay his bills and support himself, I have issues with him looking to control the life of another person.  It doesn't stop there!  I'm going to consider where he lives, his education, his intellect, his "EQ" (for lack of a better term) and various other things...

Much like the folks who make decisions about hiring staff - we all make judgements every day based on all kinds of input and stimuli.  Some things will be easily identified as attractive or unattractive - other things will be completely unidentifiable.  I recently went on a date with someone, we had a fabulous evening.  In our talks later he said to me:  "you are attractive, professional, I like you, I am interested in your life, nobody has ever kissed me like you do - ever, and yet, something is telling me that you're not the "final" relationship I'm looking for". 

His "gut" wasn't into me.  I met all his criteria in every way... but something chemical wasn't working.  Who knows what it was.  I've had similar experiences.  Someone seemingly perfect in every way just doesn't "click" with me in the way I need them to. 

That said... a person could have all the wealth in the world, combined with great looks and various other superficial things - if he doesn't share my basic core values, he isn't even getting to the first meeting.  Part of my "checklist" includes a pretty extensive discussion of issues surrounding abortion, capital punishment, gay marriage and various other issues which I feel are representative of a persons value systems. 

I don't think that people of good character have relaxed their desire to maintain their good character and to find partners of similar character.  I think that selfish, superficial people exist and have always existed... we just find more of them because we have more access to more people.

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ORIGINAL: puella

I have been pondering something for a while now... wondering if different things corrupt the sexes differently. 

Do you think that there are different things which imbue one sex with power, or power of demanding, which are different in the other sex?

For instance, beauty;

Physical beauty (as defined by the society one was reared and to which one subscribes) in a woman is one of the greatest assets she has to work with, for good or bad.  Many will refute this but... honestly, it is the one given in womanhood that is rewarded almost unilaterally.  For men, it is money, or power... interestingly enough, women will often use their strength (beauty) to try to obtain the 'greatest asset' of the opposite sex (power/money).

It is a strange and paradoxical concept, and makes me wonder what all the bluster and lip-service to a person's character is about?  I would bet that more times than not, character is the secondary (if that) factor in how we configure desirability and, to a negotiable degree, worth.

I also wonder if those very points of desirability in each sex are not the greatest enablers of relaxation of character in the individual, if not that which renders it completely unnecessary and obsolete.

I look forward to others thoughts on this thought.

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

I really don't know how women work...But I believe if you looked at all of the Characteristics of "attraction" being a provider is what many women would list as important on their list.....I know that there are no absolutes! 

Everyone of my friends (male) likes to be seen with, date, marry what would be considered an attractive woman. End of story.

We all have an idea about what is obtainable and what is not.  My decision on whether I want to be with or approach a woman is  almost always based upon her external appearance and then I go from there....If there is substance...It might last....Unfortunately people wearing the "I have a beautiful soul" t-shirt went out of style with liesure suits....So we rely initially on the eye and hope that the brain is just as stimulated.

Everyone else is just in denial.....or knows where their limitations lie.

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I tend to think, when it comes right down to it, that people are mostly interested in like character. I think the beauty/power type relationships get more spotlight, however, and the majority who lean toward character and principles are just quieter about it. :)

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ORIGINAL: puella

I think that beauty/power allows for two things:  A sense of entitlement in the individual which combined with the adulation and relaxed set of standards applied to them by others, nurtures certain less than savory character 'flaws' like narcissism, apathy, selfishness, elitism, etc. (or that which does the corrupting of character).  "

DarkDreams: that paragraph was what set me to think a blanket statement was made.

Sure, I agree that assets are... assets! Who doesn't want an asset of some sort? Yes, assets are power-- yet , can be destruction as you say. Thats what I meant, but in a different way, maybe?

Some posts just sounded like people were saying that anyone considered attractive lacked other, more valueable, internal qualities such as intelligence, honesty, interests, caring for others what- have- you.

Thank you for the correction, sugarcandy