When subs go "poof"...and come BACK???

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When subs go "poof"...and come BACK??? - 2/18/2007 7:39:49 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

Here's the back story:

Someone I had spent 6 weeks or so getting to know online before traveling to meet, just to have him disappear after our first meeting has come back! Now ironically, I met my current significant other on the very trip that I took to meet this sub and so it all seemed to make sense...things happen for a reason, never would have met S if B hadn't given me a reason to travel there and then stood me up. So now I am extremely happy, with someone else, and no need or desire for this other one but I have always wondered what really happened. I had my theories, as we all do when the boys go poof, but I wanted to know for sure. So I messaged him and against all of my expectations, he messaged back and we began talking. We ended up talking on the phone and it was good to finally know. He claims that he became terrified after meeting me because I was the first dom he had ever ventured to meet in real life. He panicked and stood me up for our 2nd meeting and disappeared completely from phone/internet after that. I always considered him special and was very hurt by his disappearance so knowing that he has the balls to face me, admit he was completely, immeasurably wrong, and appologize, does show some strength of character, IMO. The fact is, he's the only one of several poofers that has ever faced me again. He told me that he was sorry, told me that it had taken a couple of months to return to normal after the intensity of our daily conversations and even some d/s aspects of the relationship that I had initiated via phone had ceased. He is not by any means asking for me to give him another chance or take him back, he doesn't believe he deserves another chance. But my question is to all you others who may have experienced this. If I were not so happily with someone I might consider giving it another go with this one, though he'd have to work doubly hard to get me to trust him again, but the point is, that's not going to happen and I wonder where to go from here? I'm considering seeing him when I can in more of a friends capacity, trying to help him get a grip on his d/s desires and figure out what he wants and who he is by taking him with me to events and meetings I attend, exposing him to different people whom I respect and he could learn from. Obviously I don't have to do anything but I do care about him and still believe he's a good person.

But I'm just a bit in shock still to have him back in whatever capacity I may. When this has happened in the past I write them off as another loss. Has anyone ever had someone reappear with explanation and apology after disappearing without a trace? I know some of you will say that he's playing me and I'm a sucker, but I don't believe that to be the case. Though I guess only time will tell.

Looking forward to hearing others' inputs. I know they go poof a lot but how often do they come back?

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho