RE: honesty about sexual orientation

RE: honesty about sexual orientation (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 10:50:14 AM)
I think it's more an issue of her not trusting sub men and thinking that they aren't truthful when they claim "straight" on their profiles.

kc692 -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 10:50:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl I still can't believe that 9 pages later, not a single male sub has said bisexual activities are a hard limit. I'm beginning to think I should forget dominating anyone and just become a sub. OMG< this is the reply that made me splatter liquids....thanks LAT, I just started reading this thread today, and on page 10 my eyes were starting to cross, thanks for making me laugh!! Hmmmmmm, have you met Michael from Georgia?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 10:57:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel Sorry LA, I was thinking along the lines of what people agree to in the heat of passion or subspace, or simply because they want to please their dominant. Sub/slaves have often posted that once they chose to submit or were collared that their dominant went straight for a hard limit or pushed them to remove them. And because of the trust in him/her and the depth of his/her submission, they agreed to it. Maybe I didn't present it very well, but that was my point. Gosh how much of a mess. Someone goes so far as to say "this is a hard limit" and not only does the dom go for it, but the sub just lets it happen! Limits IMO aren't about trust or depths- they aren't medals to keep or give for good behavior. Limits can of course change over time and that's not a problem. But I wouldn't think highly of a dom who decided on their own to do that in a moment of passion, or a slave who simply accepted it. However, I know some people use limits AS medals of honor or badges of courage, so if that's how they intend to use them, then disposing of them could be a rather innocuous move.

agirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:00:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl It's the bondage and discipline, dominance and submission. I am willing to push soft limits, just not hard limits. Do you understand what submission is? I'm not talking about bottoming, but willingly and happily submitting your mind, body, heart and soul to your dominant? Two of your hard limits you list are face slapping and knife play. So what would you do if your dom had you bound nude on your knees, legs open, hands behind your back. He's been teasing and tormenting you for what seems like hours. Sweet, soft caresses across your breasts bringing sighs of pleasure from your mouth, only to be interrupted by his pinching and twising your nipple until you want to scream from the pain. Stinging blows from his cane followed by soft kisses and low whispers in your ear. His hands moving over every inch of your body until he finds that tender spot between your legs. His fingers slide between the lips, rubbing and stroking, then sliding inside and out again. When you beg him for more, he responds by slapping that tender place with his riding crop. The soft, sweet touches and the hard, stinging pain, all of it making you wet and throbbing, begging him to take you over the top. Over and over again, he brings you to the brink with his teasing, taunting and torturing. You are physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, but you want more. You want that release. You beg him to give you that release. You'll do anything, just please give you that release..... He stands in front of you now and tells you to look up. Through tear filled eyes you see he's holding a knife. I'm going to cut you now defiant. I'm going to mark you as mine. Your heart is pounding louder and louder. Your body is on fire and begging for release. But you say start crying and saying No No No, I don't want that. Please! Then you feel the sting of his hand on your cheek and it brings you back, but oh god how it made you more wet. He runs the blade over your aching body. Slowly up your arms, then across your tender, swollen breasts. Up your thigh and down the other. You're terrified, but your body is on fire and every inch of you is throbbing, just aching for him to take you and give you release. The knife moves between your legs and the smooth, coolness across your throbbing clit is about to send you over the edge. His other hand moves between your legs again, and he slides his fingers inside you. You are panting and begging, humping against his hand. His hard whisper in your ear that he's going to mark you as his now, but you can only cum if you tell him it's okay. His fingers moving in and out of your wet, throbbing pussy. His palm rubbing your swollen clit. The knife poised and ready to mark you. RED! STOP!! PURPLE DINOSAURS!!!! LordMasterDom, I know you read my profile about knives and face slapping being a hard limit and I know you didn't just slap my face and run a knife over my wet throbbing pussy. And don't EVEN get me started on you wanting to mark me as your own even though we've been in a loving, trusting, committed relationship for two years. Untie me this instant! I'm not sure what this has to do with submission. It's an erotic scene, yes, but where does the violation of hard limits come into it? agirl

defiantbadgirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:06:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl It's the bondage and discipline, dominance and submission. I am willing to push soft limits, just not hard limits. Do you understand what submission is? I'm not talking about bottoming, but willingly and happily submitting your mind, body, heart and soul to your dominant? Two of your hard limits you list are face slapping and knife play. So what would you do if your dom had you bound nude on your knees, legs open, hands behind your back. He's been teasing and tormenting you for what seems like hours. Sweet, soft caresses across your breasts bringing sighs of pleasure from your mouth, only to be interrupted by his pinching and twising your nipple until you want to scream from the pain. Stinging blows from his cane followed by soft kisses and low whispers in your ear. His hands moving over every inch of your body until he finds that tender spot between your legs. His fingers slide between the lips, rubbing and stroking, then sliding inside and out again. When you beg him for more, he responds by slapping that tender place with his riding crop. The soft, sweet touches and the hard, stinging pain, all of it making you wet and throbbing, begging him to take you over the top. Over and over again, he brings you to the brink with his teasing, taunting and torturing. You are physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, but you want more. You want that release. You beg him to give you that release. You'll do anything, just please give you that release..... He stands in front of you now and tells you to look up. Through tear filled eyes you see he's holding a knife. I'm going to cut you now defiant. I'm going to mark you as mine. Your heart is pounding louder and louder. Your body is on fire and begging for release. But you say start crying and saying No No No, I don't want that. Please! Then you feel the sting of his hand on your cheek and it brings you back, but oh god how it made you more wet. He runs the blade over your aching body. Slowly up your arms, then across your tender, swollen breasts. Up your thigh and down the other. You're terrified, but your body is on fire and every inch of you is throbbing, just aching for him to take you and give you release. The knife moves between your legs and the smooth, coolness across your throbbing clit is about to send you over the edge. His other hand moves between your legs again, and he slides his fingers inside you. You are panting and begging, humping against his hand. His hard whisper in your ear that he's going to mark you as his now, but you can only cum if you tell him it's okay. His fingers moving in and out of your wet, throbbing pussy. His palm rubbing your swollen clit. The knife poised and ready to mark you. RED! STOP!! PURPLE DINOSAURS!!!! LordMasterDom, I know you read my profile about knives and face slapping being a hard limit and I know you didn't just slap my face and run a knife over my wet throbbing pussy. And don't EVEN get me started on you wanting to mark me as your own even though we've been in a loving, trusting, committed relationship for two years. Untie me this instant! If a dom hit me in the face, I'd do alot more than just demand that he untie me. When a dom crosses a hard limit, it means the situation is no longer consentual. Furthermore, if it was a loving relationship, he wouldn't hit me in the face. I would be devistated and would never again believe that he loved me. The relationship would have to end because I would never be able to forgive him. A sub can't serve a Master she hates and resents.

cjenny -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:07:22 AM)
I just read 12 pages, not sure how I skipped over this before but maybe it was some sort of mental self-preservation? Too many things to go over yet I am compelled to contribute..personally I consider "STRAIGT" sex to be non kink! Not sure what slot that puts me into but I got the giggles when I realised I'm past the lines of orientation & into the realm of the mind. defiant, all I can tell you is that IMO you are not ready for BDSM. It has too many intangibles for you & emotionally you just aren't ready for it all. Not a bad thing, it is just a thing okay? You shout out to the world that you need absolute non-negotiable lines with which to color in, while most here are using a blank sheet of paper with no lines. There were real answers, sarcastic answers and hostile answers yet none of them seemed to reach you, that is what indicates to me that you quite possibly need something 'normal' or 'vanilla'. Dang I am still pesonally stunned at the realisation, that for me straight=non-kink... should I worry?

juliaoceania -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:09:41 AM)
quote: If a dom hit me in the face, I'd do alot more than just demand that he untie me. When a dom crosses a hard limit, it means the situation is no longer consentual. Furthermore, if it was a loving relationship, he wouldn't hit me in the face. I would be devistated and would never again believe that he loved me. The relationship would have to end because I would never be able to forgive him. A sub can't serve a Master she hates and resents . I certainly hope you are saying that if a dom hit you in the face that it would mean he did not love you, and you are not saying that all doms that face slap their submissives do not love them, because you have a habit of generalizing and stereotyping like that

defiantbadgirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:18:30 AM)
If a sub consents to it, then it's consentual. But I can't imagine why a dom would want to hit a sub in the face for crying in fear of a knife. Kind of reminds me of a parent who smacks their unmentionables to punish them for crying. BDSM involves all levels of cruelty, so to each their own I guess. Just because I'm not into extreme cruelty doesn't mean the lifestyle is wrong for me.

bearincuffs -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:26:46 AM)
[/quote] If a dom hit me in the face, I'd do alot more than just demand that he untie me. When a dom crosses a hard limit, it means the situation is no longer consentual. Furthermore, if it was a loving relationship, he wouldn't hit me in the face. I would be devistated and would never again believe that he loved me. The relationship would have to end because I would never be able to forgive him. A sub can't serve a Master she hates and resents. [/quote] The point being from how I see this is a person's limits are fluid, what one considers a "hard" limit one day can find that isn't the case as time passes and the same applies to "soft" limits. Using myself as an example, one hard limit was nothing less than monogamy from my partner, times past and my views changed to the opposite end, I can either take or leave monogamy as it's not a limit at all anymore. The same applies to other areas also, we learn, we grow and our views and limits change. Part and parcel of growing and learning is to push our limits, yes a Dom will test and push a sub's limits, and at the same time subs will test and push a Dom's limits also, either deliberate or subconsciously.(sp)

stef -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:28:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Furthermore, if it was a loving relationship, he wouldn't hit me in the face. It didn't take long to get back to this old chestnut, did it? cjenny hit the nail squarely on the head when she said "defiant, all I can tell you is that IMO you are not ready for BDSM." Based on what I've seen you write here, I would expand that to include ANY relationship. You need to spend some serious time working out whatever issues you're hauling around before you consider inflicting yourself upon another human being. Do do otherwise wouldn't be fair to your prospective partner because they couldn't even begin to imagine what they're getting themselves into unless they read these forums. ~stef

defiantbadgirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:29:59 AM)
I can't handle being hit in the face......not now, not ever. That's why it's a hard limit, not a soft limit.

bearincuffs -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:37:12 AM)
edited to to lack of clarity

defiantbadgirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:40:22 AM)
Maybe you get off on being hit for crying. I know you think it's ok for a man to get his wife pregnant and choose that time to tell her he wants another woman. Seems to me like you would put up with anything Stef. Does one have to be a doormat to be ready for the lifestyle or a relationship?

stef -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:40:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I certainly hope you are saying that if a dom hit you in the face that it would mean he did not love you, and you are not saying that all doms that face slap their submissives do not love them, because you have a habit of generalizing and stereotyping like that No, that's exactly what she's saying. In a prior thread, she said something akin to any man who slaps a woman in the face is an abuser. Full stop, no exceptions. ~stef

heartfeltsub -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:40:54 AM)
It has probably been mentioned before on this thread, or maybe it has just been alluded to, just because someone doesn't have the same definition about what makes a person a bisexual does not mean that they are being dishonest with you. If they were genuinely being dishonest with you, they would not tell you that they had ever been sexually active with a member of the same sex, for whatever reason. You are assuming that everyone (though countless numbers of us have tried to point out to you that there are other definitions) has the same definition as you do. And you are counting that as them being dishonest with you, while the truth of the matter is, you are trying to force your definition down their throats. heartfelt

defiantbadgirl -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:46:01 AM)
I understand that most of the people who have responded on this thread have a different definition of bisexuality than I do. But alot of the mainstream would agree with me. A straight person who never read the forums or was new to bdsm might not know the bdsm definition for bisexuality is different.

gooddogbenji -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:46:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Maybe you get off on being hit for crying. I know you think it's ok for a man to get his wife pregnant and choose that time to tell her he wants another woman. Seems to me like you would put up with anything Stef. Does one have to be a doormat to be ready for the lifestyle or a relationship? Ummmmm.... huh? Is it just me, or is crazy suddenly magnetic? Yours, benji

bearincuffs -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:46:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bearincuffs deleted due to lack of clarity on my part.

LaTigresse -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:46:42 AM)
I doubt it.

gooddogbenji -> RE: honesty about sexual orientation (2/19/2007 11:48:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl I understand that most of the people who have responded on this thread have a different definition of bisexuality than I do. But alot of the mainstream would agree with me. A lot of whom? Backwater hicks? Talk show guests? Or psychologists who study these things? Look up just about any standard definition. It aint about doing it, it's about the desire to do so. Yours, benji

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