RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath?

RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (Full Version)

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SweetDommes -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/25/2005 8:52:45 PM)
As a couple who does not participate in public scening, and sees no need to do so - I still have to agree with Taggard, Lily, and the others rather than with you, Focus ... we have actually had submissives begin talking to us in the preliminaries of starting a relationship, and once they found out that we NEVER do public scenes or play parties, they decided that we are not for them. Fine with us, we don't particularly want someone who is the exhibitionistic (is that the right word?). We know of many many more who do public scening than those who refuse to do so. We who don't are in the minority - not that any of them HAVE to do it, but they definitely don't have problems with it and obviously enjoy it. And it isn't that they don't understand the intimacy of the act, for some people that we have discussed it with, it intensifies it - knowing that there are however many people around, but whoever they are scening with has chosen to scene with them over the others ...

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/25/2005 9:55:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes Fine with us, we don't particularly want someone who is the exhibitionistic (is that the right word?). You could say "who is an exhibitionist" or "who is the exhibitionistic type" I agree- while I AM an exhibitionist and a voyeur and get a tremendous amount of fulfillment in public play, it's certainly not mandatory and I completely understand why some choose not to engage in it at all. quote: it intensifies it - knowing that there are however many people around, but whoever they are scening with has chosen to scene with them over the others ... That's not one of the motivations for me, but I can see that for others. For me it's the energy buzz from the crowd, it's a very different energy than you get from private play. I also don't have the space or money for equipment in my house so I like the convenience of going to a dungeon space nearby. I also like the socializing aspect, meeting new people, being able to try new toys randomly.

SweetDommes -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/25/2005 10:05:41 PM)
well, I actually meant "who is that exhibitionistic" ... since there is a limited extent of exhibitionism/voyeurism inherent in our relationship depending on what is happening in a particular scene (3-4 people involved, there is a good chance that someone will be watching at least for a little bit). Having the equipment would be fabulous, as we have a really limited toy collection at the moment ... but we still probably won't ever do it.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/25/2005 10:13:40 PM)
quote: Lily, I don't and never have "played" at BDSM, it's how I live and love! Focus, That's a pity. We "live it" and "love it", but we also "play" with it all the time! Why not? I'm not ashamed to say that sometimes I do things with beth just for FUN. I especially love indulging beth's desire (okay fetish) for dressing up. she has all kinds of costumes from leathers to lace and although it's okay to dress up at home it's a whole LOT of fun going out at attending clubs in "costume". Unfortunately I don't get the opportunity to wear leathers at the office, so I too enjoy the opportunity to get out there and strut my stuff. I'm not at a party or club to prove that I can use my floggers or single tail better than someone else. If you ever attend Folsom you'll understand what I mean. It's empowering to be with such a large group of people sharing common interests. And most aren't there just for the "primal kink". I don't care if anyone witnesses us or not. I'm just there to have a good time with beth. You'd be surprised how many "Ozzie & Harriet" types are right there with us. Going to a BDSM club to play doesn't imply that your aren't monogamous either. If you go to a vanilla club to dance and socialize are you going there to pick up another couple? Maybe some people are, and the same percentage are probably at the BDSM club. But most are there just for the good time with their partners or friends who share common interest in the lifestyle. No pressure, and frankly - a LOT OF FUN!

subbella -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 1:30:33 PM)
quote: If you are meeting someone local, meet in a public vanilla forum first. Make sure someone will be able to easily tell who you went to meet and where, and make sure the person you meet knows that someone else knows where you are. I never make plans to play on the first date, no matter how well things go. Everyone should be willing to go home, and take a breather, and make a decision from there, where there isn't any perceived pressure to do any playing or proceed. This is very good sound advice. I have two sister subs whom I use for "safe calls" when meeting someone for the first time. It works EVERY time, and I always meet them in a well lit, busy public place.

topcat -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 3:32:44 PM)
quote: Do you know of any case where someone has been prosecuted for assault for consensual play in a fully witnessed BDSM scene? I think that would have made some sort of news in these circles, but if you do know of a case that I have missed, I would be very interested in hearing about it. Again, what the law says, and what a DA is willing to prosecute are very different things. Sir- Sadly, what the DA really wants to prosecute, and what he cannot back down from prosecuting after the arrests are made are two different things: Paddleboro Seven In NYS, you cannot consent to Battery- and even if you did, any sort of' Restraint, Constaint, or the imminence of such' invalidates consent- This stuff is NOT legal. Stay warm, Lawrence

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 6:58:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: topcat Paddleboro Seven Has there been any more on this case? I see it is from 5 years ago, and I can't find any new details... Were they prosecuted? Did they serve time? I just did a quick search, but every thing seems to be old. Still in all, one case from five years ago seems the exception that proves the rule. People, in general, are not getting arrested and prosecuted for this stuff, no matter what the law says. Taggard

Focus50 -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 7:13:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty Some of us like it because it is just plain fun... Mate, make up your mind! One minute you "take the BDSM lifestyle very seriously" and now you're just in it for the fun.... You obviously don't "understand my practice" in the least and you deserve to have me laughing at you as a consequence. quote: As someone who thinks that there are 6 or 7 doms for every submissive, your value as a meter of demographics is seriously low. Why would anyone listen to what you have to say on how the population of this lifestyle is comprised? If you must quote me from another thread (Bad Submissive), do try to keep it in context.... What I wrote was: "The lifestyle is choked with male doms - maybe 6 or 7 for every fem/sub and that just defies logic and Nature's balance." Now, I'm a logical person who believes in Nature's balance so I think there's how many Doms per fem/sub out there.....? Need another hint? quote: If I were you I would take a step back and make sure you really know what you are talking about. Have you been to Black Rose or Folsom? Do you belong to your local leather organization? Have you been to your local BDSM club? Do you know any people who do this in real life? Is your base of knowledge Castle Realm and chatrooms? This is priceless - especially from one who's already stated: "I understand your practice". Again, I'm not the least bit interested in your Sideshow Alley BDSM lifestyle. I don't need or desire to dress up in leather etc or have other club members address me as "SirLordMightyMaster" or whatever just so I can feel good or worthy about myself. But if getting involved in D/s dick-measuring groups or exercises is how you maintain self-esteem, I won't be surprised in the least. quote: Your lack of intellect leaves me speachless...and that really is saying something. It is not very often that someone says something so unbelievably stupid that I simply don't know where to start. I guess I will have to leave it to stand as its own rebuttle. It's a reflection of both of us that I've never needed contracts, references and esp witnesses and you do.... What else - alibis and lawyers? If that's a measure of my intellect in your eyes then, again, you deserve to have me laughing at you! [:D] Focus50.

Focus50 -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 7:39:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth Focus, That's a pity. We "live it" and "love it", but we also "play" with it all the time! Why not? I'm not ashamed to say that sometimes I do things with beth just for FUN. I especially love indulging beth's desire (okay fetish) for dressing up. she has all kinds of costumes from leathers to lace and although it's okay to dress up at home it's a whole LOT of fun going out at attending clubs in "costume". Unfortunately I don't get the opportunity to wear leathers at the office, so I too enjoy the opportunity to get out there and strut my stuff. I'm not at a party or club to prove that I can use my floggers or single tail better than someone else. If you ever attend Folsom you'll understand what I mean. It's empowering to be with such a large group of people sharing common interests. And most aren't there just for the "primal kink". I don't care if anyone witnesses us or not. I'm just there to have a good time with beth. You'd be surprised how many "Ozzie & Harriet" types are right there with us. Going to a BDSM club to play doesn't imply that your aren't monogamous either. If you go to a vanilla club to dance and socialize are you going there to pick up another couple? Maybe some people are, and the same percentage are probably at the BDSM club. But most are there just for the good time with their partners or friends who share common interest in the lifestyle. No pressure, and frankly - a LOT OF FUN! I believe you misunderstand me.... D/s is what I do with my girl, not strangers - it's personal. We attend the rare munch in our area but not play parties etc, let alone specialised clubs (there aren't any here anyway). I seem to be the exception around here but, just as I never shared my vanilla intimacies or sexuality with others in public, I also don't do D/s in public, either! For the likes of Taggard to express that public BDSM is the norm is to suggest that vanilla sex on a bus, in a shopping mall or as part of an orgy is how most vanillas treat their sexuality! It's ludicrous and hardly helpful to what a newbie is asking about the lifestyle. You may as well argue that the gay mardi gras is representative of the normal gay lifestyle.... I'm all for some fun - but intimacy is what I do with the girl I love, not just any piece of willing fem/sub meat and/or with an audience.... oops... I mean witnesses! Ick! Focus50.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 7:52:15 PM)
Oh goody!!! I figured that once you outed yourself as a liar we'ed never hear from you again... quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty Some of us like it because it is just plain fun... Mate, make up your mind! One minute you "take the BDSM lifestyle very seriously" and now you're just in it for the fun.... I take my fun quite seriously and I like to have fun with serious stuff. You should try it some time...it might help you look like a bit less of a pretentious oaf who talkes about thing in which they have no experience. quote: You obviously don't "understand my practice" in the least and you deserve to have me laughing at you as a consequence. What did I say about your practice that shows I "obviously" don't understand. You are a pretty typical Castle Realmer...I was one myself once. Then I left the online world and joined others who do this in three dimensions. Boy was that an eye opener. Now, I find it quite easy to spot those who have yet to have that experience. quote: If you must quote me from another thread (Bad Submissive), do try to keep it in context.... What I wrote was: "The lifestyle is choked with male doms - maybe 6 or 7 for every fem/sub and that just defies logic and Nature's balance." Hold on a second, skippy...if you are going to present the context, shouldn't you present all the context??? Here is what you said, in toto: quote: The lifestyle is choked with male doms - maybe 6 or 7 for every fem/sub and that just defies logic and Nature's balance. And I'd wager EVERY fem/sub has experienced something similar to what you've described. These doms troll for inexperienced newbies hoping to take advantage of their naivety for their own benefit. As soon as you catch them out, expect to be labelled bad or "not submissive" etc.... If you expect a reader to understand that you don't think ther lifestyle is choked with male doms, you don't understand how communication works. If you look at the response from lovingmaster45, you will see I am not the online who took your words to mean what they said. quote: Now, I'm a logical person who believes in Nature's balance so I think there's how many Doms per fem/sub out there.....? Need another hint? I havan't a clue...but then neither do you. wink quote: quote: If I were you I would take a step back and make sure you really know what you are talking about. Have you been to Black Rose or Folsom? Do you belong to your local leather organization? Have you been to your local BDSM club? Do you know any people who do this in real life? Is your base of knowledge Castle Realm and chatrooms? This is priceless - especially from one who's already stated: "I understand your practice". Again, I'm not the least bit interested in your Sideshow Alley BDSM lifestyle. So that's a big no...eh? quote: I don't need or desire to dress up in leather etc or have other club members address me as "SirLordMightyMaster" or whatever just so I can feel good or worthy about myself. That would be another no...eh? quote: But if getting involved in D/s dick-measuring groups or exercises is how you maintain self-esteem, I won't be surprised in the least. So it's pretty much the web and whatever sub you can lie to to get to meet you...eh? quote: It's a reflection of both of us that I've never needed contracts, references and esp witnesses and you do.... What else - alibis and lawyers? If that's a measure of my intellect in your eyes then, again, you deserve to have me laughing at you! [:D] Ahh...the difference between need and desire...I would explain it, but I doubt you would understand. Taggard

Mercnbeth -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 8:04:35 PM)
quote: I seem to be the exception around here but, just as I never shared my vanilla intimacies or sexuality with others in public, I also don't do D/s in public, either! For the likes of Taggard to express that public BDSM is the norm Focus, Okay, no problem. But I don't think you are the exception. I would guess that MOST here haven't been to a play party or a participated at a club. It's no badge of honor, but you shouldn't perceive it as a badge of dishonor either. Only a small part of the people who do play at clubs do so to show off. Sure it takes a bit of exhibitionism, but more than that it takes confidence. Speaking only for beth and I, our play at clubs is still very personal even if it's in public. And regarding Folsom, it's the one time that the vanilla lurkers look out of place. We went for the first time last year, and we hope not to miss any from now on. Of course it's no more representative of our day to day live then the gay pride parade is for gays, but it's the one chance to be proud and public in who we are. It just made me smile to see the words "norm" and "exceptions to the norms". I think we all qualify as abnormal exceptions.

Focus50 -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 8:12:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: medea I'm rather new to the sub scene although am well read for obvious reasons. One would rather not be in bondage before she realizes she's just hooked up with Jack the Ripper. Would any caring, honest and genuine Masters out there (or even subs for that matter) afford me the benefit of their experience by advising what to try and look out for other than obvious safety precautions, such as letting a friend know where you are going on a first meet, etc., Many thanks[8\|] Remember this post? Unfortunately, this thread has become hopelessly derailed and I'm guilty of having played my part. But it's not about myself or how I choose to practice my sexuality and nor is it about anyone else other than an inexperienced fem/sub seeking some help in starting out. But until I hear otherwise from the OP, I'm still gonna presume she's just a girl with a need for D/s seeking a complimenting Dom for a private relationship. Whether she eventually gravitates toward play groups or exhibitionism etc is irrelevant and I hardly think it's helpful in pushing that side of the lifestyle at her at this early stage. She'll find that herself, if it's her need to.... And, no, I didn't miss the line about being bound while in the hands of Jack the Ripper in my earlier posts; I just wrote it off as nervous energy from someone new to Forums, as well! How about we just get back to helping her find a "worthy" Dom without her getting the crap belted out of her in the process? For me, I'm sure I'll be crossing paths with certain other parties again - I'm not going anywhere! Focus50.

Focus50 -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 8:32:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty Oh goody!!! I figured that once you outed yourself as a liar we'ed never hear from you again... Ok, I think you're the champ of quoting but I can't help notice that your spelling & grammar is unravelling the more you carry on! "Rattled" comes to mind here..... Either slow down and take a deep breath or reaquaint with a spell-check. Again, [:D]! Focus50.

Focus50 -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 8:46:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth Focus, Okay, no problem. But I don't think you are the exception. I would guess that MOST here haven't been to a play party or a participated at a club. It's no badge of honor, but you shouldn't perceive it as a badge of dishonor either. Only a small part of the people who do play at clubs do so to show off. Sure it takes a bit of exhibitionism, but more than that it takes confidence. Speaking only for beth and I, our play at clubs is still very personal even if it's in public. And regarding Folsom, it's the one time that the vanilla lurkers look out of place. We went for the first time last year, and we hope not to miss any from now on. Of course it's no more representative of our day to day live then the gay pride parade is for gays, but it's the one chance to be proud and public in who we are. It just made me smile to see the words "norm" and "exceptions to the norms". I think we all qualify as abnormal exceptions. You're welcome.... [:)] Actually, I do think it a "badge of dishonor" when you're confronted with some moron who measures other lifestylers by what clubs or functions they've attended. Clearly age is not relative to intellect or maturity. I'm not the least bit ashamed or defensive of my needs or sexuality either, I just don't push it into other people's faces. But everone's "normal" or "abnormal" to somebody.... lol And now I've really overstayed in this thread.... Focus50.

stef -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 8:48:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Either slow down and take a deep breath or reaquaint with a spell-check. Again, [:D]! Why is it that people who stoop to the level of spelling flames always seem to make spelling errors in said flames? ~stef

Focus50 -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 9:01:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sfgrrl Why is it that people who stoop to the level of spelling flames always seem to make spelling errors in said flames? ~stef Touche! Now your turn.... Why do people come into threads to personally attack others without even bothering to address the actual topic? Focus50.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 10:56:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Ok, I think you're the champ of quoting but I can't help notice that your spelling & grammar is unravelling the more you carry on! Is that really the best you have??? I reply to your prattle line by line and the best come back you can think of is "your grammar and spelling are unravelling"?? Sheesh...I was hoping for a bit more then that...but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Taggard

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 11:06:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Why do people come into threads to personally attack others without even bothering to address the actual topic? Dude, this is from your first post in this thread: quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty Personally, I would never play with a person in private until I have played with them in public. It is good to have witnesses that have seen you in a scene with someone. *I hafta say this is the worst* piece of general advice for a newbie I've ever read! Few of us are voyeurs as Taggard apparently is.** Remember that? You walk in here and attack something I say as the worst advice you have ever read (and then, just for fun, completly fuck up using the word voyeur). Then you wonder why you get attacked back...duh! Taggard

stef -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/26/2005 11:19:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Touche! Now your turn.... Why do people come into threads to personally attack others without even bothering to address the actual topic? Pointing out the irony of a situation is not a personal attack. ~stef

domtimothy46176 -> RE: Are there any failsafe ways to spot a troll or psychopath? (3/27/2005 10:29:22 AM)
I seem to recall something or other from up your way in a newletter from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom somewhere in the spring or summer of 2002. As I recall it was a private play party that was busted, but was attended by plenty of individuals who were prepared to testify that the play was consensual. Unfortunately i can't remember the name. On a similar note, though not precisely the same, I will point out that it's still possible, in at least one area of the country, to be convicted for adultery. One can extropolate from this with a certain degree of reliability, I think, that it's at least within the realm of possibility to be prosecuted for consensual S &M in some jurisdictions, regardless of whether or not it makes sense to us. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A62581-2004Sep4.html Whether or not it could happen in your area, given the political climate, is something I can't speak to. I wll say, however, that the laws in some parts of the country, such as Indiana, combined with the political atmosphere preclude much public scening of any kind. I have personally witnessed court cases where the "assault victim" has been coerced by the threat of jail time to testify against her "attacker" and then seen the judge completely ignore her exonerating testimony. It can and does happen in Indianapolis, a city that is hostile to alternative sexuality and the associated businesses. Chicago, in contrast seems to be less provincial, as does St Louis. There remain, however, large sections of the country where one would do well to investigate before making assumptions about the possibility of being prosecuted for consensual public play, IMO. Some of the smaller communities, for instance, would probably be more inclined to prosecute for "immoral behaviors" than the larger urban areas, although that's just speculation. Timothy quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty quote: ORIGINAL: topcat Paddleboro Seven Has there been any more on this case? I see it is from 5 years ago, and I can't find any new details... Were they prosecuted? Did they serve time? I just did a quick search, but every thing seems to be old. Still in all, one case from five years ago seems the exception that proves the rule. People, in general, are not getting arrested and prosecuted for this stuff, no matter what the law says. Taggard

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