Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (Full Version)

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MissAbsinthe -> Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 6:47:53 PM)

As a slave I made the choice to give total power exchange to my master, and with that I thought came the responsibility for my master to look out for my needs.
Yesterday evening this girl was unable to finish all her given tasks, and my master restrained me in a hogtied like position, which was fine, then left me there for the evening and went out.
I had no problem with the punishment aside the saftey aspects, for example what if there had been a fire?
I only ask this as he had left candles out everywhere not to mention an unsupervised large bird which could of flown into them!
When he returned I asked him and he simply told me not to ask questions, I trust my master as he is the one I serve but this girl is still confused so she thought she would ask the masters here as some of you may have experience.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.



SusanofO -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 7:06:08 PM)

Strikes me as stupid and dangerous. I'd probably want another Master - I'd have trouble respecting anyone lazy, and-or unintelligent enough to really take a chance my life would end, due to something so easily preventable.

It would certainly make me feel a hell of a lot less valuable to them. I think I'd ask them how valuable I could really be to them, if this happened to me.

If it was a "mistake" - I'd still ask to talk to them about it, and express how it made me feel. Just my two cents.

- Susan 



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 7:06:57 PM)

You either continue to trust him or you do not.

We cannot help your confusion- only your master can.  He is refusing to do so.

You must either accept it as it is or reject it.



SusanofO -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 7:08:27 PM)

LA is right - if you've accepted this person as your Master - it means you've said you trust their judgment.

However, my contention is that people learn and grow in relationships, and things are up for "renegotiation" once in awhile - maybe especially if they've done something so tremendously stupid, it makes you feel you really cannot trust them anymore (or maybe that you didn't know them well enough when you promised to trust them with your life to begin with).  

If  that's the case, I guess I've expressed what I'd do - I'd talk to them about it. Ask what their reasoning is for putting you in this situation. Maybe it was some kind of "trust test". Of course, they don't have to answer you - you're just the submissive or slave (especially if you're a slave they don't have to answer you).

Personally, if they decided not to tell me what their reasoning entailed, in this particular case - I'd explain that I feel so seriously under-valued, that I've decided to "move on" - mostly because I'd feel uncomfortable putting my life in the hands of anyone that stupid or non-chalant about my welfare.

I know this might not be what a slave (especially) or a submissive is maybe supposed to do - but, in this case, I happen to think a better explanation than just:
"Don't ask questions" is in order.

I think it could have been a mistake like a complete oversight, in which case he won't really have a good explanantion (although a heart-felt promise to never risk your life again and an apology, might be in order, in that case, I'd think).

Maybe if he sees you think it's pretty damn serious, he'll decide to get more serious about thinking of answering you.

Then again, I could be completely off-base. You know him better than anyone here on these boards.

Is he trustworthy in other ways?

Still, this is a situation where you could have ended up seriously in harm's way. I'd bring it up again, in a respectful way, and see where it goes. The  decide what you can live with.

If he is truly worth your while, I would hope he'd realize just what kind of position answering you with a "Don't ask questions" response puts you in.

I know it would put me in the position of questioning just how responsible he reallly is - not a cpomfortable spot ot be in - especially if you are going to be asked continually to put your life in their hands.

I think I'd feel confused, too - you're supposed to trust him, but he's giving you reasons not to trust him. Okay - that just doesn't make sense to me - but - I tend to be more of a traditionalist in terms of what I see as situations that enable creating trust.

But that's me, it may not be how anyone else would react.

I should maybe mention I've never been a really big fan of what is known as a "mindfu_k."

I think it tends to undermine trust, as often as it creates more trust, between people. I think trust is too important to really risk losing. I mean - it's only the whole basis of most D/s relationships (or any decent relationship, really). But again, that's a personal preference, and not everyone shares it.

- Susan



juliaoceania -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 7:11:45 PM)

First question, are you sure that he did not just pretend to leave? I do not know why that question sprang to mind, perhaps the alternative is unsettling to me.

I cannot imagine being left in that situation and I do not think it is ok, and I would hope that you try to discuss this with him. When it comes to your life being risked (and in my opinion the above sounds like he risked your life) you have to decide if that is ok. No one here can decide this for you, nor is anything they likely say going to change your mind about this relationship.

I thought I would comment on something.. you are an exquisitely beautiful young woman, and your photos are gorgeous.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 7:15:26 PM)

I am sorry to say if your Master "truly" left and was not just in another room and making you think he left...then he is a reckless Master..he took not into consideration the well being and safety of the one he is responsible for.Too many things could of been consequenced from such an action that it quite boggles my mind..His statement leads me to thus conclude that maybe he realizes that he did wrong and was not willing to admit to it..or he does not take care or cherish his possessions well..You can try again to communicate your fears...You can leave him to find another Master more careful and responsible..You can stay and hope it does not repeat again....I wish you well in your decision...Tempting



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 7:17:27 PM)

LOL..well it seems as if LA and julia have made some same statements as I..so sorry for the repeat!...Tempting



TeacherNStudent -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 7:48:06 PM)

On the one hand, you've come here to have others second-guess your Master.  Your trust levels aren't as high as you claim.

On the other hand, if he actually left, then you're right not to trust him.  One does not leave a delicate, cherished vase on top of the rough-running washing machine and expect it to feel very cherished afterwards.  A punishment you don't enjoy is par for the course if it's to be effective, but a punishment that genuinely endangers you?



Lordandmaster -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 7:56:21 PM)

He's a dumass.  What can I say.  You were wrong for not doing your job properly, and he was wrong for leaving you in a position where you weren't in his control.



Lashra -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 8:49:07 PM)

As far as I am concerned what he did was inexcusable. You NEVER tie/cage/immoblize someone and leave them there alone while you the Dominant go somewhere. Its foolish, dangerous and from my point of view a big betrayal in trust. His number one priority should be your safety and to my way of thinking he certainly did not have that in mind.

Personally, if I were you, I'd start packing..

~Lashra



DoctorDubious -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 8:59:23 PM)

Greetings all you fine opinion-hounds....

I'm wondering if MissAbsinthe
(of the erudite screen-name school)
really knows all that went on while she was restrained?

But I wonder even more
how all these fine perverted opinion-ators
can climb up on their cyber-soap-boxes
to denounce a situation that was incompletely described
by an observer who clearly doesn't know for sure what happened.

How do we know it wasn't a well-concieved mind-fuck?

Of course,
it's much easier just to let rip with the old...
...' that guy's a reckless jerk' rhetoric, eh?

DD, an old goat who still gets a chuckle
out of a simple little nefarious mind-fuck... candles and all.



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 9:00:57 PM)

Yes you have accepted his responibilty as your master but he hasn't accept his as a master.To leave you in danger speaks loudly how much he cares for you..stay and continue to be in danger or get out..BH



justfortheforums -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 9:01:32 PM)

it has been my past experience that HE would have been close by watching you and enjoying your discomfort in the situation and always in control.  respectfully ask for free time to talk and convey your feelings to him exactly as you have stated on this board then go with your gut.  he has invested in you.  he should not take your discomfort or fear lightly.



RobertCloud -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 9:03:06 PM)

I am an author of a book in which a similar scenario takes place. The reason for the scenario is quite different and not a matter of the Dominant just doing it for fun but one of he feels he has no other option. He does take precautions and even he is delayed beyond what he feels is right and when he returns it is far beyond what he had hoped. He is afraid he is too late. He is terrified she has died. He is thankful that she has not, but he has also learned a valuable lesson and realized that leaving her alone for even the slightest amount of time without someone able to get to her very quickly, no matter what his reasons are even if they are legitimate, is still foolish and irresponsible.

If your master "truly" left then he is no master at all. He does not deserve to have you, all he is is someone that has a prisoner and will obey him no matter what. He is irresponsible and has placed you in danger.

If he is unwilling to let you know that he did not "truly" leave then he is just as irresponsible and uncaring for your peace of mind, that is just as bad of a master and also is undeserving of your devotion. He may have been doing it as a test for you, but still I feel that when your trust in him was shaken he should have restored it. When you asked him the question, that should have alerted him that your trust was shaken. He may have been playing mind games, but mind games can go too far.

If he did "truly" leave and then realized his mistake after you mentioned it and is willing to admit his mistake and talk to you about it then he has grown and learned and that is what we are supposed to do. He would have re-earned your trust in that matter, but to deny you even the knowledge that he is capable of a mistake and the ability to learn from them is an arrogance that can get you killed.

Whatever the case, your trust has been shaken because you are here. You need to let him know that your trust is shaken and that he has to discuss this with you or you will leave. If he will not let you leave then you have a hostage situation and you truly are in trouble.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 9:05:48 PM)

I agree with TeacherNStudent about lacking trust.  If you truly trusted your Master, this forum wouldnt exist.

However, on another note, if your Master truly did leave you alone, then he was remiss.  Endangering your submissives life with behavior like that is not justified, no matter how major the problem that needed corecting.

I dont think he would do something like that, though, making it so obvious that you were in imminent danger with open candles and being tied. If trust was such a major part of your relationship, risking breaking yours completely would not be useful for him.  Though, I must say he did a wonderful job with a mindfuck.

my take on things.
DV




SimplySubmissive -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 9:09:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

Greetings all you fine opinion-hounds....

I'm wondering if MissAbsinthe
(of the erudite screen-name school)
really knows all that went on while she was restrained?

But I wonder even more
how all these fine perverted opinion-ators
can climb up on their cyber-soap-boxes
to denounce a situation that was incompletely described
by an observer who clearly doesn't know for sure what happened.

How do we know it wasn't a well-concieved mind-fuck?

Of course,
it's much easier just to let rip with the old...
...' that guy's a reckless jerk' rhetoric, eh?

DD, an old goat who still gets a chuckle
out of a simple little nefarious mind-fuck... candles and all.


because if it was, he should have told her that after. taking away her trust in him only ruins the relationship, solves nothing. so even if he did stay, and she doesn't know that, the damage is still done. I would not be letting him tie me up again until this issue was resolved. what kind of punishment destroys trust? punishment is supposed to help a submissive learn from her mistake. not learn mistrust.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 9:10:09 PM)

I think we're forgetting however that, even after the worst/best mindfucks (they usually go together), everyone's supposed to feel good and exhilirated, uplifted by the overall experience.

That's not happening to at least one of the people here.



juliaoceania -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 9:10:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

Greetings all you fine opinion-hounds....

I'm wondering if MissAbsinthe
(of the erudite screen-name school)
really knows all that went on while she was restrained?

But I wonder even more
how all these fine perverted opinion-ators
can climb up on their cyber-soap-boxes
to denounce a situation that was incompletely described
by an observer who clearly doesn't know for sure what happened.

How do we know it wasn't a well-concieved mind-fuck?

Of course,
it's much easier just to let rip with the old...
...' that guy's a reckless jerk' rhetoric, eh?

DD, an old goat who still gets a chuckle
out of a simple little nefarious mind-fuck... candles and all.



As someone with a Dom that is quite adept at mindfucking, I have to say that I do not think he would mindfuck himself out of a submissive. In other words it is one thing to temporarily make someone think they were alone and at the mercy of fortuna, but never to tell them the truth of the matter was they were safe all along would be unacceptable for me at least.

I did ask her if she was sure she was left alone btw, but to me (someone who enjoys having her mind fucked) I would still have trust issues with someone I thought left me in such a predicament... whether he had or he had not.



juliaoceania -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 9:11:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I think we're forgetting however that, even after the worst/best mindfucks (they usually go together), everyone's supposed to feel good and exhilirated, uplifted by the overall experience.

That's not happening to at least one of the people here.


Exactly!



SusanofO -> RE: Question from a slave ''was what he did to me right?'' (2/20/2007 9:15:34 PM)

Good point, LA. I'd ask him again why it happened.

If the best he can still do is say: "Don't ask questions", I guess I'd be very tempted to counter with: "Well, then don't ask me to submit."

But I am a submissive that, under duress, can turn into a real pointed and mouthy Switch, and my Domme side comes out in a big way. In this case, I'd think that was justified, though.

- Susan



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