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DeferentialBaby -> RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? (2/8/2008 5:35:04 PM)
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I liked your profile, I saw nothing undominant with saying "I'm sorry," I got the humor, I appreciated that your profile was long and original, full of substance and interesting, not like those awful short and sorry "all sound same" nothing profiles that so many people on here write when they're too uptight or afraid of censure (or just plain unimaginative) to just be themselves, and I think that most of the bdsm crowd is so totally lame-o that if you are making them critique and dislike you, then you are doing something VERY VERY right.
FWIW, my former owner, beloved for 16 years, was a total nice guy, and he had sub women falling all over him throughout his life. I have a personal thing about the moustaches as well (I find them disgusting, for the most part, I think because most men I've known sporting them have been disgusting), so all I can say is, Carry on! Contrary to popular (blech!) opinion, you're doing everything right.
One really stupid thing that a lot of people do on this site (and you can see this behavior clearly in the responses you're getting in this thread) is to try predict what others are really like by one or two phrases that they pluck magically and totally out of context from their profiles (if you posted the dictonary in your profile, these same people would find those same one or two phrases there and insist that was "proof" that the dictionary wasn't dominant. Well, in a sense they would be right, but who wants to be right in such a very idiotic way?) It can't be done, the only way to get to know someone is to take the time to get to know them, but people who aren't really all that bright still try to do it, and they make up these magical "keys" or interpretive clues out of the silliest things. Women who have never felt the touch of a flogger (let alone had their backs bloodied by a viciously weilded carriage whip) will say "Oh! he aoplogized in his first line. That is a clear indication that he is not a "TrueDom"(tm-lameO)!" Idiots, all of them. But they all have to have their little magic-word systems, it makes them feel secure to think that they've got it all figured out: say the wrong keywords and your history. I use that to my advantage in my own profiles, sometimes: just for fun, I plaster the hell out of them with what I know "everyone" (dumb, that is) thinks are the wrong key words or phrases precisely so that the men who think like robots won't have the least desire to approach me and I won't have to (yay!!!) deal with THEM. :D Yeah, the guys do the fortune-teller between-the-lines thing too, it's not just the chicks, and the stupider the person (man or woman) the more their rely on these totally false props to convince themselves about how right they are. Sadly, being right on this website is far more important to most people than finding the love of their lives...or even a good fuck.
At any rate, the one who bloodied my back well and frequently loved to apologize. Sometimes it was just in fun, part of the game; other times it was because he was such a big spirit that he couldn't bear not admitting he was wrong when he believed that he had been, as not admitting it and bluffing it out as a macho he-man know-it-all DOMINATE would have been such a childish thing to do that he couldn't have lived with himself aftewards. :)
The ladder theory is awfully convincing, but it leaves a great deal out. I think it is because it deals with only the most robotic and stupid human behavior, and doesn't factor in intelligence or perceptiveness (or even maturity), traits which, like it or not, some people are born with and can't avoid applying to all situations in life.
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