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RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 7:44:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Emotional monogamy might be amorphous and harder to pin down- but I think that's what you really have to understand if you want an answer to your post.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 7:45:42 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I will say first of all, if all are consenting there is no "unfaithfulness" because a dominant has sex with more than one submissive... polyamory does not equate unfaithfulness, and perhaps I am splitting hairs in your mind, but if you were poly you might feel a little tense about the unfaithful comment.

I am monogamous, my Daddy is monogamous, and we are both naturally geared this way. We have discussed other women being brought into our activities for play only, he dismissed this idea... not because I am disagreeable with it, but he feels it could be detrimental to our dynamic. It is not a hard limit, we may change our minds one day, but considering who we both are I am not going to hold my breath


I think Katy made an incredibly important point, that open relationships, swinging, and poly are different things.... and it does not sound as though you can tolerate any of these ... there is a big diff between bringing someone into the relationship 24-7 and bringing home a submissive for the night to play with, and dating other submissives away from home... a really really big difference between these things. It sounds like you want complete monogamy. Most dominants do not want to own multiple submissives from what I have seen, they want to play with other submissives they do not own. It is responsibility to own a submissive, and commitment. I get the feeling that would not be acceptable to you.


I knew when I first began talking to my Daddy he was geared the way he is by not setting limits with anything at first. I did not voice objections to poly or swinging... I just let him express his experiences and I knew he was not wired owning a bevvy of subs. He has tried having more than one partner and it kinda blew up on him for a number of reasons.. one of which was that he is geared toward loving one woman. I also knew that if we got together it would be about our relationship before starting a new one.

When you worry about something it magnifies it. In other words you focused so hard on monogamy that it seems you see only the men that are not into monogamy. If you make it about getting to know someone and seeing how important their relationship to you is. If a man loves you, knows how you feel about the idea of him stepping outside of monogamy and how bad it would hurt you, then they will not want to do something to bring hurt on to you.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to novicecourtesan)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 7:46:00 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		He's monogamous, he's dominant, he's highly sexual and he's also very focused on his business, his children and his other interests. But I think that's the point, he's highly focused. He focuses on one thing at a time intensely. So he picks only those things and people he wants to put that kind of energy into.

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 7:47:17 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		There are vast numbers of straight and gay dominants who are monogamous.  They are underrepresented in the scene because the scene puts such a focus on playing with multiple partners that they tend to drop out or at least step back.

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 7:50:00 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azzmaster

just a question, but what r u going to do if u find a dom perfect in every way but not n2 monogamy? u don't even have 2 answer me here but i suggest u think about it b4 it happens


If a man knows a sub is monogamous and does not tell her he is into poly that would disqualify him based on his disingenousness from being "perfect"

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 7:53:54 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Being poly when she is monogamous would mean immediately he wasn't perfect because he couldn't meet her needs. Perfect doesn't have anything to do with a detailed list, it is entirely subjective. Monogamous people can't be happy with nonmonogamous partners therefore no matter how many items in common they otherwise have, the poly partner isn't perfect.

This isn't rocket science here, it's obvious to anyone with even a modicum of experience in relationships.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 7:54:33 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azzmaster

just a question, but what r u going to do if u find a dom perfect in every way but not n2 monogamy? u don't even have 2 answer me here but i suggest u think about it b4 it happens


Well if it was me, I'd tell him to go to hell. That's a silly question..it's like asking "what if you find a man who's perfect for you but he wants kids?" or "what if he's perfect for you but has a prison record" or "what if he's perfect for you but he hates animals" Same thing....no matter how perfect he is otherwise, I'd tell him to get lost.

Some things are deal breakers and no man can be perfect to me if he clashes with my deal breakers.

The guy I was recently talking to seemed absolutely perfect other than being poly...and I told him I was not interested and said not one word to him afterward.

I have enough respect for myself that I will not compromise on my deal breakers.

< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 2/23/2007 7:56:38 AM >

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:03:25 AM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		tellin him 2 go to hell is fine. i was merely suggesting to novice that she think about that bridge b4 she crosses it. i can understand people wanting monogamy. just good to know if that is the highest on ur list of priorities in a partner. 

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:06:55 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		How many times and in how many posts does she have to repeat that she is monogamous. Yet you persist in insisting that she ought to be poly. She already has thought about this and talked about it, she knows herself best. Your constant condescension towards her monogamy wears very thin.

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:09:25 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Your constant condescension towards her monogamy wears very thin.


Seriously though, there are many guys who think they can talk girls into it.
Here's a sampling of what I've been told when talking to Doms:  "be open to it", "try it you may enjoy it", "I'd let you pick the girl", "you'd always be alpha" "I'm the Master and if I say we do it, we'll do it".  They think that these phrases are attractive.  They are not.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:10:52 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		Well she's already made it clear it is a priority...so why ask her what she'd do if she met someone who was otherwise perfect but not mono? Isn't it obvious what she'd do?

People have their priorities for a reason, and if you don't meet them, then it doesn't matter how otherewise perfect you are. You might as well be completely incompatible.

If you don't meet a certain number of specific criteria for me, I honestly don't bother finding out how otherwise perfect you might be.

This particular example might upset people but I will say it anyway: Some people do not date outside their race. By virtue of one's race, that person might eliminate you from the running right off the bat. No point in asking them "what if?"

The same thing goes for the poly/mono debate. If he's poly, he's not my idea of perfect regardless of his other traits.

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:17:46 AM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		that question was addressed to novice c. now i am assuming the other posters are just trying to get my attention. sorry girls, i m 2 busy to assfuck any of u this week, but next thursday afternoon if u find urself in Kingston, NY i will try to give a an hour or 2

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:21:10 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azzmaster

that question was addressed to novice c. now i am assuming the other posters are just trying to get my attention. sorry girls, i m 2 busy to assfuck any of u this week, but next thursday afternoon if u find urself in Kingston, NY i will try to give a an hour or 2


You know, you are an unnecessarily rude person. There really was no reason for this sort of post other than to sexually denigrate people for not agreeing with you... it seems you are into nonconsensual humiliation kinks, but I just thought you should know.. it is not the people that you aimed this post at who should be humiliated...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:24:37 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azzmaster

that question was addressed to novice c. now i am assuming the other posters are just trying to get my attention. sorry girls, i m 2 busy to assfuck any of u this week, but next thursday afternoon if u find urself in Kingston, NY i will try to give a an hour or 2


Sorry...I only assfuck monogamous men with decent spelling skills...but thanks for the offer.

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:27:47 AM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		juliaoceana, u really don't have much of a sense of humor do u? ur dom seems more ironic, maybe he will loosen u up a lil when u 2 r together longer.geeky, i can spell assfuck just fine and i find that works for me, but thanks for gettin back.

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:28:27 AM   
angel123456


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline 		Um, don't want to butt in (but I will anyway) but there is no such thing as almost perfect is there? He either is perfect or he isn't! In fact, if he is not exactly what she wants then I would say he is imperfect.

...and good on her for sticking to her guns.

X

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:31:37 AM   
angel123456


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline 		...and isn't it irritating when people can't spell properly and resort to 'text' spelling - why is that? laziness? can't be bothered? donlt know how to write things in full? trying to save ether space? hehehe

(in reply to angel123456)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:35:12 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		and the moderator rides MY ass...amazing what other people get away with.

(in reply to angel123456)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 8:39:45 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
Here's a sampling of what I've been told when talking to Doms:  "be open to it", "try it you may enjoy it", "I'd let you pick the girl", "you'd always be alpha" "I'm the Master and if I say we do it, we'll do it".  They think that these phrases are attractive.  They are not.

And those are the NICE ways of doing it, the not nice ones are more of shaming a slave by saying she's not really a slave or a bad slave if they don't want it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: question for monogamous doms - 2/23/2007 9:26:56 AM   
novicecourtesan


Posts: 116
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		It's so interesting where these posts go....

JulieOceania: I did not mean to equate poly with being unfaithful, as I said, that was never my intention. Being with only one person who only wants me sexually has always been what I wanted in the past, and what I ultimately want in the future. Will I try swinging, open relatinships, poly, whatever? Here is my official answer: I. Do. Not. Know. But it's very clear that if I leave the possiblity of "maybe" or "the right guy" or "in the future," it may prove that I am open minded as well as precise, but it will also be like waving a red flag in front of a bull for every dom who thinks he can change my mind.

Emotional fidelity is terribly personal to the relationship. I am learning about it as I go along. I think if I meet someone I really really like right now who doesn't want to be monogamous, I might consider a compromise. But as I said, as a newbie, I'd like to start out in a situation I feel familiar and safe in.

So it's really not burned on my skull as much as it appears, but it is who I am. Even if I were to date someone who didn't want to be sexually faitful to me, then I would still probably not take the opportunity to date someone else. I just don't think I'm wired that way....

Celeste and Geekygirl...thank you for the defense. I do feel like I'm repeating my reasons a lot when I shouldn't have to.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 40
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