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RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 12:19:04 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

one does not see any disrespect. And in the great gob of gooseshit that is boiled in this cauldron your spoon was hardly synergystic.

Nevertheless, you go, girl, and get what you think you need/

(so long as it ain't kinky, this is a very forgiving and christain site, you see)

And when you tire of it, how are you at  giving head?


LOL,


Ron
(don't apologize, it is wasted as are strenghtening words out here)




omg humor is so so sexy......... and I am told very good .....

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 12:22:54 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
In relation to the topic of the thread, I tend to identify with the idea of the Daddy Dominant more than the stern type.  The only real punishments I use are to express my disappointment, or in one case to have her examine her actions from a perspective apart from how she was examining them.  What I found most interesting was that there was a major paradigm shift on her part.

I like to dote on the one that is mine.  I like to give her things to do.  I like to direct her as she becomes more than she was prior to being with me. 

On the other hand, I want a submissive in my life who makes our life a thing of beauty and grace and peace.

My goal is to get there together.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 12:25:44 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

And when you tire of it, how are you at  giving head?



"Candy came from out on the island
In the backroom she was everybodys darling
But she never lost her head
Even when she was giving head"

Lou Reed
Take a walk on the wild side

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 12:30:01 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Why walk, Syn?

The more it remains, the more it remains the same......


Do du do do do -------

and now I'm back to -- the velvet-- underground --------

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 12:44:05 PM   
sabis


Posts: 136
Joined: 6/29/2005
From: Midwest, USA
Status: offline 		I wrote an essay many years ago, that helped me realize what I felt to be essential traits of a Dominant. Enjoy.
 
~ sabis
 



 
"He is a Dominant Man."
 
He is a dominant man:  He feels no need to lower me to raise himself up.  He knows that my submission is a gift, and does not take it as weakness on my part.   He controls me for His own pleasure and mine.  We explore boundaries together, with wonder at surpassing them, and no shame at realizing new limits.  This is a journey we walk together, a life path we explore with love and trust in one another.  Our explorations of our selves, our needs, and our deepest, wickedest desires an adventure that only we can share.  My growing submission feeds His need to master and own me.   This is our greatest gift to one another. 
 
He is a dominant man: He earns my obedience through His strength of character and through His mastery of himself.  He gains it by His honesty and His integrity.  I know that I am safe in His hands, in all ways.  I know that my happiness is key to His.  He has a strong sense of duty and obligation.  He meets my needs; physical, emotional, spiritual, mental.  It is His joy to safeguard me at all times, and mine to be thus cherished and treasured.  In His eyes, I am a lady, and He, my knight-champion.  His masculinity calls to my femininity, each feeding and growing the traits of the other.   His arm beneath my hand, His eyes keenly scanning the environs, His softly whispered words of love; these do not mark Him as weak or a ‘wannabe’, but rather strong enough to be what He is: a man cherishing what belongs to Him.
 
He is a dominant man:  His physical strength is used to control me, arouse me and guard me.  He does not do so out of brutality or a need to harm, but to delight in the exquisite response my body gives Him in return.  He does so because that strength is one of His natural gifts as a man. His body is built to do so, just as mine is to cradle His, my curves to fit His, my softness a match for His hardness.  We compliment one another. 
 
He is a dominant man: It is His essence.  It flows through every action, every thought.  It simply is.  It is not a façade or an illusion or a role.  It is an intrinsic part of Him.  He acknowledges it, embraces it, and utilizes it, just as He would the strength of His body, or the keenness of His mind. 
 
He is a dominant man... and I, his compliment, His submissive.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 12:55:23 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

yes probably forgive me for wanting fresh ideas rather than digging thru threads....


In other words, you are asking everybody else to expend the effort to repost things they may have already posted to save you the effort of expending any effort by doing research.

Understood.  Good luck.

Sinergy


The girl was polite...Almost every question that could be asked has probably been raised out herea time or two....Perhaps she is seeking some sort of a dialogue in lieu of being thrown a bunch of old posts.

quote:

Juliaoceania

No one has told anyone not to post a thread about whatever they like. It seemed the OP got a little bent out of shape when old threads were offered in a post to give her even more perspectives about what she stated she wanted to know.


Boy if the op seemed to be "bent out of shape"..all she said was "thanks but no thanks."...Wow it is unbelievable how some people can be so rude...

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/24/2007 12:59:31 PM >

_____________________________



(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 12:58:30 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		sabis .......... I want to reach that level ...... I admire you ......

(in reply to sabis)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 1:17:11 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		whispers,

you bring up a good point; all to often the multi paddles forget about newcomers threads that might be original for them but the old timers remember that thread fro 2 years ago and express no interest.

keep at it and good fortune

CP

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 1:42:05 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

by the way I did not mean to cause  a stir , you must realize that when someone new comes to the boards, to see all the posts from days , weeks, mths past , can be overwhelming ....... I did appreciate the links, I will look at each one , and as someone pointed out there are probably people on the posts that do not post now, as there are newbies like myself that like the idea of posting to a new thread .... no disrespect was intended.........


Cause a stir????  i'm not even sure why it was an issue.  i used to try to read the links but what i found was 1) they were very time consuming.  By the time i got done reading them, all sorts of new posts passed me by;  2) they involved pages of posts from people no longer currently posting and i was really looking for discussions amongst current posters; and 3) every day we see those little vanilla cones on these threads which means lots of new people are posting.  i really would rather hear their perspectives than wade through all the old.
 
i think that those who have posted thousands of times on the same subject may get tired of the same topics but there are plenty of new posters who aren't at that point yet (including myself).  If readers don't want to repeat themselves, they can pass the thread by...or go cut and paste an old response...or post anew. 
 
You really didn't do anything wrong here 
 
DG

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 1:47:04 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

by the way I did not mean to cause  a stir , you must realize that when someone new comes to the boards, to see all the posts from days , weeks, mths past , can be overwhelming ....... I did appreciate the links, I will look at each one , and as someone pointed out there are probably people on the posts that do not post now, as there are newbies like myself that like the idea of posting to a new thread .... no disrespect was intended.........


Cause a stir????  i'm not even sure why it was an issue.  i used to try to read the links but what i found was 1) they were very time consuming.  By the time i got done reading them, all sorts of new posts passed me by;  2) they involved pages of posts from people no longer currently posting and i was really looking for discussions amongst current posters; and 3) every day we see those little vanilla cones on these threads which means lots of new people are posting.  i really would rather hear their perspectives than wade through all the old.
 
i think that those who have posted thousands of times on the same subject may get tired of the same topics but there are plenty of new posters who aren't at that point yet (including myself).  If readers don't want to repeat themselves, they can pass the thread by...or go cut and paste an old response...or post anew. 
 
You really didn't do anything wrong here 
 
DG


If this was about me, I owe anybody offended an apology.

There was a posting.  There was a reply listing a bunch of threads.  There was a reply which seemed dismissive of the time and effort the person replying put in to doing the search of related threads.  I personally prefer to thank somebody who has gone to effort on my behalf, even if I dont plan to use it or read the postings.  I do appreciate their effort on my behalf.

I have had a fairly rough 3 weeks and perhaps I have my knickers in a twist.  Which does not really justify venting my bile in cyberspace, so...

I apologize.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 1:53:49 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		spreading hugs and kisses to all those posting, hollering thank ya thank ya thank ya for giving a newbie some much needed information ......

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 1:55:35 PM   
ravenairsprite


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		There are a few things that are important to me in a Dominant man.

Trust-You have to be able to trust that the sub will do as you have asked or commanded. Trust that she will not report you as some kind of abuser. Trust that she won't leave you because of a mistake.

knowing when to push boundaries-If you have discussed something time and again and it is an absolute hard limit don't do it. If it's a soft limit work your way to the point that it will become an experience that isn't neccassarily bad. If it is accept that it has become a hard limit.

Affection-Everyone needs affection of some sort. Even if it's just telling me I did a good job on something. Compliments can be affectionate. I also need touch in a gentle manner not just a harsh one. If I don't get the occassional gentleness I think I'm a bad person.

Having a somewhat controlling streak-I was discussing this with someone the other day. If he doesn't have a controlling streak I'm harder to control. I test my boundaries at first. It's just how I am. That does not mean I'm a brat. It means that if you can't put me back in my place then it isn't worth my time and effort.  I do have a tendancy to get out of line but with the right Dom he can set me back in my place with a simple look.

Understanding-If you have to insult me for what has happened to me and be judgemental. I'm not going to stay long. Bad things have happened, occassionally I have flash backs. I don't need to be punished for them or degraded because of them. I need support and comfort even if only verbal. I don't need to be validated, I need to be understood and there is a difference.

Interests that are in common with mine-Need I say more?

I can't think of anything else right now that determines whether I enter someones service or not. If I've forgotten something spank me later.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 2:24:07 PM   
sugarcandy


Posts: 96
Status: offline 		 It seems like everyone is hormonal today.
The planets are in very strange alignment.

characteristcs: openess, integrity, leadership ability, abilty to listen, respectful to other creatures, intelligence, relatively physically fit, creative, pride in himself and in me as his, cherishing a devoted servant, offering positive reinforcement+++
Could go on and on. 


< Message edited by sugarcandy -- 2/24/2007 2:32:49 PM >

(in reply to ravenairsprite)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 2:29:45 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

by the way I did not mean to cause  a stir , you must realize that when someone new comes to the boards, to see all the posts from days , weeks, mths past , can be overwhelming ....... I did appreciate the links, I will look at each one , and as someone pointed out there are probably people on the posts that do not post now, as there are newbies like myself that like the idea of posting to a new thread .... no disrespect was intended.........


Cause a stir????  i'm not even sure why it was an issue.  i used to try to read the links but what i found was 1) they were very time consuming.  By the time i got done reading them, all sorts of new posts passed me by;  2) they involved pages of posts from people no longer currently posting and i was really looking for discussions amongst current posters; and 3) every day we see those little vanilla cones on these threads which means lots of new people are posting.  i really would rather hear their perspectives than wade through all the old.
 
i think that those who have posted thousands of times on the same subject may get tired of the same topics but there are plenty of new posters who aren't at that point yet (including myself).  If readers don't want to repeat themselves, they can pass the thread by...or go cut and paste an old response...or post anew. 
 
You really didn't do anything wrong here 
 
DG


If this was about me, I owe anybody offended an apology.

There was a posting.  There was a reply listing a bunch of threads.  There was a reply which seemed dismissive of the time and effort the person replying put in to doing the search of related threads.  I personally prefer to thank somebody who has gone to effort on my behalf, even if I dont plan to use it or read the postings.  I do appreciate their effort on my behalf.

I have had a fairly rough 3 weeks and perhaps I have my knickers in a twist.  Which does not really justify venting my bile in cyberspace, so...

I apologize.

Sinergy


You are always a class act....(domiguy stares at the people giggling) Goddammit! I'm serious.  The man came out here and apologized....What more could you ask for?  Nicely done.

_____________________________



(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 3:15:33 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sugarcandy

 It seems like everyone is hormonal today.
The planets are in very strange alignment.

characteristcs: openess, integrity, leadership ability, abilty to listen, respectful to other creatures, intelligence, relatively physically fit, creative, pride in himself and in me as his, cherishing a devoted servant, offering positive reinforcement+++
Could go on and on. 



I had an issue where there was a problem getting my apartment ready for me, but my stuff had to be moved out of my old place.

I was explaining my frustrations to a co-worker, and she brightly informed me "Well, you do know that mercury is retrograde, right?"

A shining beacon of reason in the madness.

Sinergy

p.s.  Of course, for all I know, she might be right.

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to sugarcandy)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 4:18:55 PM   
swtrayn


Posts: 222
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		I wanted to take a moment to thank LuckyAlbatross for taking the time to get those links and posting them.

I enjoyed reading them very much.


rayn

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 4:59:24 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy


If this was about me, I owe anybody offended an apology.

There was a posting.  There was a reply listing a bunch of threads.  There was a reply which seemed dismissive of the time and effort the person replying put in to doing the search of related threads.  I personally prefer to thank somebody who has gone to effort on my behalf, even if I dont plan to use it or read the postings.  I do appreciate their effort on my behalf.

I have had a fairly rough 3 weeks and perhaps I have my knickers in a twist.  Which does not really justify venting my bile in cyberspace, so...

I apologize.

Sinergy


This was very kind of you Sinergy and much appreciated.  i am tending to believe whoever mentioned the planet alignment.  i seem to notice a lot of 'touchy' responses these days...even in RL.  In NY, i always call it cabin fever and attribute it to the nasty weather that so many are just plain ol' sick of by February 
 
As much as i appreciate LA's offer of the links, i do try to keep in mind that it would be different if someone specifically asked her for such information then dismissed it after all her effort.  i think of it something she is good at and offers and if someone utilizes it....great....while others might not be so interested.
 
Someone here recently resurrected a whole bunch of old threads by making one post to them.  That always 'catches' me and now i have to make sure to check the date of the OP. 
 
i read as much as i can on here and sometimes there is so much to read that i don't get to post as much as i like.  Sometimes i go to work and a thread that is on page 2 when i leave is on page 15 when i get home.  Sheesh!
 
But i have to admit that i prefer to get answers from people here now and i realize it can be annoying to those that have posted 100 times before on the same subject.  But hey, if every person who answered a thread over the last 3 years didn't respond because they had already done so.....and all the newbies were just expected to read all the old posts instead of asking again....well, what would be the sense of the ongoing forums?  Why not just have a perpetual link section?
 
Anyhoo....thanks again.  i do admire your character.
 
DG

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 5:54:11 PM   
downthelake


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		and also sometimes  I think  people who posted an answer to a question and then later got asked again  (the same or similar question), would most likely post something in a slightly different way or angle and/or post a new thought, in addition.

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 7:02:20 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: downthelake

and also sometimes  I think  people who posted an answer to a question and then later got asked again  (the same or similar question), would most likely post something in a slightly different way or angle and/or post a new thought, in addition.


Yes....and quite honestly, someone's answer back in 2004 might be a bit different than in 2007, just due to life experiences between now and then.
 
Daddysgirl

(in reply to downthelake)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: characteristics of a Dom - 2/24/2007 8:09:50 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You're very welcome to all who enjoy them, and to those who do not, I only hope they simply skim over them as we should anything we find distasteful to the internet.

I'll point out that when I started all this, I used to post a link that said "Link to 13 subjects on this topic" so as not to make one long post showing just how many times the topic had been done before and to be less intrusive to the thread.

But there was much furor over that because people took my wording to be very condescending and rude, despite it being only a single line of a single link!

So I began simply blandly posting the links, figuring people could/would do whatever they wanted to do with them.  Since I've been around awhile (Jan 04 under EmeraldSlave2) I know just how many awesome discussions we've had on certain topics that can add tons of flavor and perspective to a persons search for information.  Julia herself was on a tear awhile ago with some fabulous threads and I'd hate for those to get lost.

And if people wanted other things, they would of course still be able to access them as if I were not around at all as well.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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