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RE: What is weakness? - 10/29/2005 6:24:29 AM

fyreredsub

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weakness in character,i guess, some men,i just have a natural inclination towards being submissive too. and others i will run right over.
i for one, like being praised, i respond much better. ecspecially if it is a conditioning being done.
i do not like pain and punishment. to me with holding of affection/attention would hurt so much worse than physical pain.
i have had the learning experiences of a powerful master and a weak dom........after a few one can tell the difference.
i can't lie to myself and settle for the weak..............
i would rather stay alone and learn.

a powerful master knows what he is,
the pansy one's are still guessing

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Post #: 41

RE: What is weakness? - 10/29/2005 6:35:05 AM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenxx

I agree that the stereotypical, hard ass, no emotion hero is the cause of a lot of these weakness issues. However, if everyone says crying makes you a wimp, isn’t there a type of strength in crying?

Tony

As I grew up we were not allowed to cry because boys and later men dont cry. After leaving my childhood I cant remember crying untill I got to 'Nam. I never felt ashamed because I crapped my pants the first time I was under fire and rounds were kicking up shit into my face. It was my rite of passage. I learned it was ok to cry, especially when I've held one of my trooppers in my arms as they dies. I've cried from anger, from frustration, from fear and from pain. I learned I was empathic and that I am an emotional and passionate man and it is ok for a man to be these things as long as they dont control him.

Sure thing Tony, there is one hell of a lot of strength in crying and allowing your self to experience all the emotions which are natural to you. These days I think that denying others the right to cry is a sign of weakness.

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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Post #: 42

RE: What is weakness? - 10/29/2005 7:22:03 AM

Phoenxx

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From: Swift Current
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Hey Iron Bear,
I was giving lessons in being a man by my grandfather. He spent WWII in a concentration camp. He learnt there to control his emotions, but to not be afraid of them.
I have no idea if he and my grandmother were “into the lifestyle” or not, but I have never met in real life a more naturally dominant man.
And one of his strongest traits was compassion.
Tony

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Post #: 43

RE: What is weakness? - 10/29/2005 7:35:28 AM

LadiesBladewing

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To me, a "weakness" is some aspect of our character that we are not aware of, or choose not to recognize, that can be exploited to manipulate us into behavior that is reactive, instead of pro-active. I have my share of potential weaknesses. I suppose good, organic 88% cacao chocolate and mashed potatoes could be a weakness for me, since I'll go out of my way and occasionally yield my ground to get them. I try to keep a handle on it, but hey, for the right bribe, I'll cave and I know it. The solution, for me, is recognition, and then not blaming someone -else- if I make a decision to cave.

In terms of character flaws that -could- be weaknesses, I have a "flash" temper, I have a tendency to "preach"/"lecture", and I am unfailingly optimistic about the Universe and my interaction with it, among other things. I've also learned to recognize and choose not to react when a LOT of my old character "flaws" are provoked. That's not to say that I -always- modify my behavior, but at least I recognize when I'm being irrational and egotistical, and if I continue to act on those particular flaws of mine, it is a conscious process, and I am regulating it and keeping my eye on the mood I'm generating, so I will see when it stops being a functional option to use that "flaw". The same goes for my tendencies to be polite, dignified, and a relatively-less-harsh owner in our household. To me, this is part of the job of being an Owner... to recognize my own weak spots, and to know when they're being probed and to measure my own responses to the probing. In other words, to be in control of myself as much as I am capable of being, and to recognize that I am human, I'm going to screw up, and it is my responsibility to clean up the messes I make. It is much harder for an outside force to manipulate the things that I have already made myself recognize and deal with.

Lady Zephyr

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Post #: 44

RE: What is weakness? - 10/29/2005 1:11:37 PM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
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quote:

As I grew up we were not allowed to cry because boys and later men dont cry. After leaving my childhood I cant remember crying untill I got to 'Nam. I never felt ashamed because I crapped my pants the first time I was under fire and rounds were kicking up shit into my face. It was my rite of passage. I learned it was ok to cry, especially when I've held one of my trooppers in my arms as they dies. I've cried from anger, from frustration, from fear and from pain. I learned I was empathic and that I am an emotional and passionate man and it is ok for a man to be these things as long as they dont control him.

Sure thing Tony, there is one hell of a lot of strength in crying and allowing your self to experience all the emotions which are natural to you. These days I think that denying others the right to cry is a sign of weakness.

IronBear

You are so wise, Sir. i could never be with a Man who repressed His emotions to the degree that He could not cry over the death of His dog, e.g. i need to know there's a real person in this with me.

pinkpleasures

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Post #: 45

RE: What is weakness? - 10/29/2005 7:33:40 PM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenxx

Hey Iron Bear,
I was giving lessons in being a man by my grandfather. He spent WWII in a concentration camp. He learnt there to control his emotions, but to not be afraid of them.
I have no idea if he and my grandmother were “into the lifestyle” or not, but I have never met in real life a more naturally dominant man.
And one of his strongest traits was compassion.
Tony

G'day Tony,

Yeah mate, you'll find no argument there from me. It's my believe that our forefathers of whom we speak were as much a product of the world they lived in as much as we are, albeit a different world. Natural Dominant traits will usually rise to the surface. Most of the truly dominant people I know share thraits such as compassion and according to their own way, tenderness too. These days, I'ts easy to point the bone at people and hange the weakness lable on them. Yet I doubt if there is a single person who doesn't have at least one area in which they may be thought to be weak.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/29/2005 7:34:20 PM >

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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Post #: 46

RE: What is weakness? - 10/30/2005 2:50:29 AM

gypsyeyez

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

As far as Dominants claiming it is weakness to show their submissives they truly care about them. I, in my own mind would say perhaps they are a top and not a Dominant at all. Tops tend to play with many. They don't want that emotional attachement there. A Dominant you are going 24/7 with should. At least you would think so anyway.
So, my opinion is it all depends on the type of relationship you have with the Dominant.

Also, how well the Dominant has evolved in their own life.

I have to agree very much with your definition of Tops versusDominants for I believe there is a distinct difference between the two as well. As far as weakness goes to me I see weakness as a lack of strength... whether it be lack of self control, or lack of various other forms of strength be it emotional physical or mental. It is not weak for a Dominant to love a sub but quite the opposite cause in my eyes it takes a great deal of strength to love and none to cast a rock like emotional state of feeling. So yes I believe subs should be loved by the Dominants ... However they also need to have the strength to push the sub in to a better state of submission and humanity in general.

< Message edited by gypsyeyez -- 10/30/2005 2:54:20 AM >

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Post #: 47

RE: What is weakness? - 10/30/2005 4:06:00 AM

Kasia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I think that denying others the right to cry is a sign of weakness.

I think that denying yourself the right to cry is a sign of weakness too. I consider that to be my weakness, I never cry for I dont like anyone to see my sorrow or pain. "I am the strongest and nothing bothers me" sort of behaviour. Stupid but hard to change.

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Post #: 48

RE: What is weakness? - 10/30/2005 4:08:58 AM

Kazinar

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quote:

In my mind weakness is nothing more than ignorance. If we are scared, why are we scared usually? Because we don't know enough not to be. If we are educated, we have no reason to be weak. Phobia's are based on ignorance as well.

Also, Weakness is NOT acknowledging your flaws, phobias and other issues.

At least by accepting you have a weakness you have acheived something. Simply letting it be or ignorning it makes for a weak person in my view.

Kaz.

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Post #: 49

RE: What is weakness? - 10/31/2005 8:25:54 AM

Phoenxx

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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I think that true strength comes when you know you are weak somewhere and yet still try to improve on it. For years I had trouble with spelling. It was my weakest subject in school.

Today I am a better speller then I was when I graduated. Because I keep trying. Yes, I still use spell check because I know I have a long way to go. But I am improving whenever I can.

Weakness can also be thinking you have to know everything and be able to do everything. You cannot. There are things which are beyond each of us. And they are not always the same thing for everyone. Strength is trying anyway. And accepting what we cannot do. Weakness is trying to do it to show how much better you are then others. Or doing it only to impress them.

Be who you are. There is dignity and strength there.
Tony

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Post #: 50

RE: What is weakness? - 10/31/2005 8:34:18 AM

Phoenxx

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Hey Iron Bear,
Being perfect would be a drag... You would never be able to drink a beer because you know how bad it is for you. Of course being allergic to malt… I don’t LOL
But damn I do love a good fat steak cooked just right ;-)

It seems thought that too many people do not understand that compassion and other tender emotions do not mean you are not strong or dominate. Or that there is a difference between having feelings and being controlled by them. Just because I understand why my child broke the rules doesn’t mean I will turn a blind eye to it. And double ditto for fawn ;-)
It means I understand. If someone can watch some of the MASH TV series and not have their eyes fill with tears, that doesn’t make them a better man then me. It makes them more empty in my opinion. And that’s not strength. It’s more sad. And I used MASH because I just watched the one with Patrick Swayze… aren’t re-runs great?
Tony

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Post #: 51

RE: What is weakness? - 10/31/2005 8:40:42 AM

WayHome

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring
As far as being weak if you do show affection, love, appreciation, etc. , I don't think it is a sign of weakness at all. Unless it is done because the Dom fears his sub or slave may leave otherwise. Then it could be.

Showing overt affection could be weakness, and so could NOT doing these things. As you said it all depends on where it comes from. If it comes from insecurity then it is weakness. But either could just as easily be a sign of strength and security.

Leto

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Post #: 52

RE: What is weakness? - 10/31/2005 8:47:49 AM

WayHome

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dombill32

"There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of house, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed though you still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to all things."

-Yamamoto Tsunetomo

I thought that was Cube Gooding, Jr ;-)

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Post #: 53

RE: What is weakness? - 10/31/2005 12:10:29 PM

OrlandoMars

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The two biggest weaknesses for a Dom are inconsistency and letting His/Her emotions rule her. If you're inconsistent it is very difficult for the sub to know here they are with you - it really doesn't matter whether you are strict, a sadist, loving, a Daddy etc., it far more about the Dom been consistent in how they treat the submissive. The biggest challenge (at leats it was for me in the beginning) was not letting my emotions get the better of me. More so than vanilla relationships, a sub had to know that the Dom can take him/her to the very edge and still come back safely.

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Post #: 54