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chrissyslave -> RE: OMG You did what?!?!?! (2/27/2007 5:12:13 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: agirl
Knowing someone, doesn't mean knowing their entire history. There's still plenty of *stuff* that I don't know about M. None of it can possibly be relevant to the relationship after so many years.
I don't know the way he votes, I don't know his favourite colour, I don't know his favourite fruit....Yet we speak everyday, even after all this time, for hours and are never bored.
I don't have a destination, so maybe I simply don't need to know the names of the stations I pass.
agirl
I tend to have much of agirl's viewpoints as my own. Although my relationship is more 90% on-line poly M/s it is more business like (maybe this suits my business training/experience?), and although I have nevered pursued chit-chat, and probing with Sir, as I think it would seem less relevant in our situation and perhaps more a distraction to my present focus, especially so early on. He has his more personal life having a r-l committed relationship and this relationship with myself is more about further expressing his strong Dominant personality. If instead it was r-t 24/7 I would want to know more about his personal like and dislikes as I would want to consider those in my actitivities to please him. As it is, what he wants is my deeper submission that will much benefit me (my mental sense of self and fulfillment...as a sub/slave) and by doing so meets more of his Dom needs, which includes my future possible expressions of appreciation.
However, if it were r-t 24/7 I believe I would trust him to tell me what was significant about his past that might be a current influence. Anything more might be just curious inquires, rather than seeking aspects to "qualify himself" as my One. So what I instead would do focus more on is the here and now. Probing about his past not only would seems misfocused, but lacking trust, and putting myself up to judge him as a form of topping from the bottom, or more a kind of vanilla influence.
I believe that history is very often just that...history...and the more we dwell upon it the more we are likely to repeat it, and in part we are assuming others also might repeat theirs. I prefer to focus on my today, so that my tomorrow will be greater than my past. Although he fully probes my past, in order to guide my path and future that is to me properly reflects his position and abilitities. For me is is just baggage, and he is the baggage handler..or perhaps more my baggage disposer as he causes them to drop away.
I am not perfect in my acceptance perhaps, as if he would have a criminal past, or was a drug dealer or whatever then those would more concern me, but I would not rule out that those too are just past factors. BTW, those Doms that contact me where their main mode of transportation is a harley, have multiple tattoos, long hair and a beard give me cause for concern, and reason for disconsideration (however a harley along side a Mercedes is cool!), even though for others their style is often attractive.
With regards to what LA said about different types of relationships and allowance for switching, as a sub/slave my mentor/sir would not want me to be shared with outside others, but would appreciate some interaction with his other slave, though pehaps not in terms of full switching, but more in BDSM play aspects perhaps at some point, but that is all yet to be determinined being my addition is new and am only in consideration at this point .
However, if I were to discover/confirm I have switch tendencies I might have some problem maintaining my proper submissive mindset, and then this relationship might not fully work for my own needs. Time will tell.
chrisssyslave
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