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RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 8:37:58 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		we have to be very carefull. as a dumb a** newbie, i went on a date that went very very badly. more recently, i was about to hook up for a date when i was fortunate enough to notice the red flags first. and what did i get for looking after myself? yelling and name calling and bad wishes, not patience and understanding.

there are all kinds of subs here, i think, just like there are all kinds of doms. i think its a question of matching up with who suits you.

i will be doing my very nest to protect myself and my loved ones until i can find that match, and if it makes me a 'time waster', i say too bad!

if He has the patience for me that i will have for Him (if HE shows the potential signs), and we can both 'pass the tests', then no time is wasted, correct?

if not, there is still no time wasted, just lessons learned.

some of us may be players, hurt, bitter, or even vengefull, and i can understand that (well, not the player part!). i am searching, and i know illl find Him when the time is right, i have no worries. maybe a little too much wisdom... lol

just my opinion...


(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 8:40:24 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Why are there attractive single women in the vanilla world? When I was single, I wasn't looking for a partner or a master. I was looking for my partner, my master. I wouldn't settle for someone just because they call themselves master and I suspect they aren't either.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 8:44:00 AM   
MarieEge


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		I have another profile on here that is my switch profile. When I started out on collarme, I thought my switchness was more 50/50. I was new then. Now I know that my submissiveness is mostly sexual, and that the rest of my personality is very dominant. I am also sexually dominant. In fact, most of my vanilla sexual experiences have been with me being dominant.

I am not, nor have I ever been, a slave type. And I found many Dominants approaching me wanting a slave or servant. Others that approached me just wanted a sex toy and they didn't see me as a human being. I have no interest in being used or abused.

Once I figured out that I am more heavily dominant, I decided that when it comes to 24/7 life I would be much happier being a Mistress to a devoted slave. I can easily get my sub needs met through scening at local BDSM parties, or through cuckolding my slave with a Dom.

Additionally, I am in a special interest group (fetish) which narrows the field considerably. There are many dominants out there, but very very very very few have the right personality for my fetish. 


(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 8:46:39 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Have you seen the gene pool we have to choose from????!!!!

(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 8:52:14 AM   
MasterChav


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Have you seen the gene pool we have to choose from????!!!!


Lol! Quite!

Personally I no longer look among the fetish personals for play partners (a longer term relationship will arise naturally, play partners can be more easily found), instead I look among the vanilla sites and have had a lot of success therein. I maintain a presence on CM but not in any expectation of finding anyone. If it happens, nice. But I've never yet met anyone via CM. So try a suitably worded vanilla ad that will appeal to those on the same wavelength.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 8:56:00 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		But how's the vanilla sites really?
I can't imagine that a vanilla site would be any better than any other on-line personals site.  In other words:  there are crazy people everywhere.
I have no expectation of finding anything here either.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 8:57:57 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Actually, to answer your question more seriously, I'm very patient.  I wait until someone connects on many levels.  Kink, personality, appearance.    I've only had that happen once.  It's become the standard of what I require in the perfect one.  I meet and play with people because I like how it feels.  I never expect to see that perfect connection again.  If I ever do then it will be a pleasant surprise.  In the meantime, all that I meet offer and teach me things about myself.   That's why I look...not for the "one", but for the experiences.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 2/27/2007 8:59:58 AM >

(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 8:59:53 AM   
MasterChav


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

But how's the vanilla sites really?
I can't imagine that a vanilla site would be any better than any other on-line personals site.  In other words:  there are crazy people everywhere.
I have no expectation of finding anything here either.



True, I have had some bad experiences with meeting people from vanill asites but you'll get the bad apples everywhere you go whether online or in the real world. You just have to deal with them if you find them, avoid them beforehand if you can.

I'm just going by my expereince that I've had more success with vanilla sites than fetish, my current casual play partner included.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:01:48 AM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		I wonder where the Doms are .....  I have talked to a few, even the one with the mental disorder, who does not recognize, but thank GOD I do ... I have talked to sweet men that are to far away , talked to men that scared the crap outt me , I went RUNNIN .....  I just need one to take my breath away ...... with love and affection , tolerance and understanding.......searching for the ALPHA is hard for both genders...

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:07:04 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		A unique submissive requires a very unique dominant. There have been some very nice ones who have contacted me, though they all seem to live way too far away. There have been a whole lot of wacko ones who were just looking for easy sex. Still haven't found the unique one who matches my uniqueness. Whether or not I find him on this site or he falls into my shopping cart at the grocery store or I never find him, I'm committed to waiting for one who clicks rather than one who clanks.

(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:07:10 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		You're assuming that they are waiting to be scooped up by the first Dominant that comes along. Some of the girls have standards and limits. A Dom finding them attractive is not sufficient for most to choose him.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:07:15 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		I don't have an answer to your question.
 
This will probably get me flamed (that's ok, it's been a while), but I have a hard time understand how any submissive women would have a hard time finding partners ... at least casual play partners. I'm not an experienced lifestyler, but have only had one guy I've dated, out of the many, that wouldn't get at least a little kinky, if it meant he was going to get lucky.
 
My suggestion is ... a killer starvation diet, no sugar, hugger jeans, a short top, and the insinuation that with a little recreational spanking, you might be "forced" to roll over and let him have his way with your butt.

(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:07:23 AM   
justplainjava


Posts: 173
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		because it is easier for masters to throw away the slave then to hold on to sending her out to search and be lone empty and unwanted any port in the storm you know

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:15:10 AM   
mynded


Posts: 137
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline 		I do wonder at your question though…  It makes me wonder why you think being careful and selective (fussy) is unbecoming in a submissive?  Perhaps submissives have no right to value themselves and their livelihoods too highly?


Her post was brilliant wasnt it. Yes it was.

(in reply to justplainjava)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:18:37 AM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		It's not really a 'one-size-fits-all' situation.  If a potential Dominant and I had a great chemistry in a BDSM sense, but very little in common outside of that, it's not going to happen (at least long term).  Same is true if we have great chemistry outside of BDSM but clash in the Dominant/submissive aspects.

There are plenty of wonderful Dominants and submissives out there (and plenty of wonderful 'nilla folk, too), but for one reason or other, the fit just doesn't jive. 

Too many look for a relationship for themselves, rather than the right relationship for themselves.


_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to justplainjava)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:19:13 AM   
MasterChav


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mynded

I do wonder at your question though…  It makes me wonder why you think being careful and selective (fussy) is unbecoming in a submissive?  Perhaps submissives have no right to value themselves and their livelihoods too highly?


Her post was brilliant wasnt it. Yes it was.


What the hell are you talking about? I never said being careful and selective (fussy) was unbecoming a sub! Please quote the bit of my OP that made you say this?

(in reply to mynded)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:23:14 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

KatyLied:  Wow.  Do you know how difficult it is to find a good vanilla guy?  It's 1,000 times more difficult finding a good Dom.  I fear it is impossible.  ::sob::    



Anyone see The Daily Show last night?  It was "Fashion Week in God" with Samantha Bee, and she asked this question.  It turns out all the good ones are married, gay...or God!  Who knew?

E.

God:  Samantha, you look FAAABULOUS.

SB:  [dimples] Well, after all, I was made in your image.


_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:35:50 AM   
mynded


Posts: 137
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterChav

quote:

ORIGINAL: mynded

I do wonder at your question though…  It makes me wonder why you think being careful and selective (fussy) is unbecoming in a submissive?  Perhaps submissives have no right to value themselves and their livelihoods too highly?


Her post was brilliant wasnt it. Yes it was.


What the hell are you talking about? I never said being careful and selective (fussy) was unbecoming a sub! Please quote the bit of my OP that made you say this?


This is what they hell I'm talking about.......
So why haven't they found anyone? Some have signup dates that are months old and they must have received 100s of offers yet they're still here? Are they too fussy? Are they Timewasters or made-up profiles? Or out of all the offers they must have received are there really no suitable Doms?
There are many reasons it takes time to find the Oone. It will happen one day but I just really liked what she (puella) said in her post and quoted her. This coming from someone who is not officially even looking. Thank you.

(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:37:07 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		She didn't; I did.  Actually... I said that your question made me wonder... or wonder if your question did not somehow imply that being submissive negates or limits your right to be selective. The tone of your OP, along with the words 'fussy' and 'time-waster' led me to infer that there was some sort of negativity associated, in your opinion, to a submissive woman who did not just submit, immediately and unconditionally to any/all of the random Dom-trollings that flood her inbox.


(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why are there female subs who are STILL looking? - 2/27/2007 9:41:33 AM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterChav

I keep an eye on the list of female subs on this site and the thing that strikes me the most that I see the same names over and over again. I read their profiles and they are actively looking for owners / Doms / Masters etc and have very attractive profiles and most attractive pictures, too.

So why haven't they found anyone? Some have signup dates that are months old and they must have received 100s of offers yet they're still here? Are they too fussy? Are they Timewasters or made-up profiles? Or out of all the offers they must have received are there really no suitable Doms?

What's going on? And before someone says "maybe they're just looking for friends", I'm talking about the femsubs who state on their profile that they are looking for Doms, owners, etc.

I tend to think that most of them are picky (and rightly so ) about who they choose to submit to. I am sure that you can find both Dominants and submissives ( male and female ) who have been on here for years and are still looking because they refuse to settle for anything less than what they absolutly want.

(in reply to MasterChav)
Profile   Post #: 40
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