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RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/25/2005 3:15:20 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
quote:

I don't see honesty as a lifestyle issue. It's a life issue. I think that people lie, both to themselves and to others, for the same basic reasons in and out of BDSM- greed and fear.

The reason I see it as being more important within the lifestyle is because I put my life literally in my doms hands. If he lies about small things, how do I know he isn't lying about larger things?
In day to day life I don't put my life in my co-workers hands for them to do with what they please.

It's true that integrity or lack thereof is a Life issue, but agree with Gloria that it's much more significant in lifestyle because this lifestyle emcompasses soooo much; In lifestyle I expect complete control and obedience, in lifestyle I may tie him up and do painful things to him... In Nilla dating he doesn't need to trust me with anything except showing up when he says he will, the rest is generally not life threatening in any way. M

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(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/25/2005 9:59:49 PM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Well, call me old-fashioned, but I think a felony is right up there with lying about how big your cock is, or how accurate you are with a single-tail. Maybe it's one of those 'generational things' my girl keeps telling me about.



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If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver?

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RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/25/2005 10:37:22 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CitizenCane
Well, call me old-fashioned, but I think a felony is right up there with lying about how big your cock is, or how accurate you are with a single-tail.

Holy Sh**... You would have the majority of people in jail if we used that standard. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to CitizenCane)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/25/2005 10:43:32 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

Well, call me old-fashioned, but I think a felony is right up there with lying about how big your cock is, or how accurate you are with a single-tail. Maybe it's one of those 'generational things' my girl keeps telling me about


Citizen,
How many people do you consider friends in your life? I know I end up discarding a lot. Just curious how many make it to your inner circle. I'm guessing the number's are very small.

(in reply to CitizenCane)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 6:28:51 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

There are at least ten pathological liar's here.


I must be really dense (which probably only surprises me and not any of you). I really can't even think of 1 poster that seems like a liar. Now there are others who haven't made very positive impressions on me, but I figure they've been honest while unintentionally revealing their, um, less attractive personality traits. I suppose it would be easier if I had gotten some "Hey -- I'm a liar" e-mail, and I'm not counting the perverta split personalities.

Well, I guess now I can play "spot the liar" while reading the boards. With 10 of them out there there should be a few who are bad liars that should be easy to spot. Since I'm starting from such a low score already, I'll think I'm doing well if I ever get to 5; the good liars are surely too good for me to spot.

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RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 7:27:33 AM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: CitizenCane
Well, call me old-fashioned, but I think a felony is right up there with lying about how big your cock is, or how accurate you are with a single-tail.

Holy Sh**... You would have the majority of people in jail if we used that standard. M


You miss the point entirely. Sub4hire, who started this thread, indicated that her felonious friend could count on her not judging him. Is there a contradiction between complaining about liars and then embracing them? If anyone is in a position to answer Sub4hire's question, it would appear to be Sub4hire.



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Citizen Cane

If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver?

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 7:31:39 AM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

quote:

Well, call me old-fashioned, but I think a felony is right up there with lying about how big your cock is, or how accurate you are with a single-tail. Maybe it's one of those 'generational things' my girl keeps telling me about


Citizen,
How many people do you consider friends in your life? I know I end up discarding a lot. Just curious how many make it to your inner circle. I'm guessing the number's are very small.



Not large, certainly. Perhaps I haven't met enough felons to broaden my circle. Are you suggesting that I lower my standards to accept freinds that lie about their cock-size? (Although, to be honest, it's not a topic that seems to come up...)



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Citizen Cane

If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver?

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 8:05:03 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

Not large, certainly. Perhaps I haven't met enough felons to broaden my circle. Are you suggesting that I lower my standards to accept freinds that lie about their cock-size? (Although, to be honest, it's not a topic that seems to come up...)


It was a curious question plain and simple as already stated in a prior thread.

(in reply to CitizenCane)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 8:11:59 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

who started this thread, indicated that her felonious friend could count on her not judging him. Is there a contradiction between complaining about liars and then embracing them?



First of all I do not have to judge. The state already did that. The point you missed was. People can be themselves and not necessarily have to be judged by me. People don't have to pretend they are someone they are not to still have friends.
The man got out of prison and I was one of the first people he called to confess his sins.
He is not my dom. He is just a man I happen to know.
I know several here on these boards who would lie to you about what they ate today.

WHY? What does it matter?
The people who truly mean something to you in life are going to like you for whatever you are and understand. You don't have to hide who you are.

(in reply to CitizenCane)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 9:02:22 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

I must be really dense (which probably only surprises me and not any of you). I really can't even think of 1 poster that seems like a liar.


I know one that recommends lying...but only to prospective slaves. *smile*

I know one that had sock-puppet accounts. But is that really lying?

I know at least 10 who are what they say and I have met with them in person. That, to me, is an amazingly good average for an internet message board.

Hey HappyPervert...anyway you can make it out to Vegas?? I'd love to buy you a beer!

Taggard

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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 10:36:13 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty


quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

I must be really dense (which probably only surprises me and not any of you). I really can't even think of 1 poster that seems like a liar.


I know one that recommends lying...but only to prospective slaves. *smile*



Well, I'm as dense as happypervert. I don't really read posts to filter truth, but I suppose I probably do it subconciously. I hadn't really put any 'liar' monikers on anyone, though. I figure either I enjoy interacting with them or I don't. If I don't, I don't read them - so I probably miss a good deal more than I realize on these boards.

As for the one that recommends lying to prospective slaves - I didn't realize she'd started posting to this board (perhaps we're not thinking of the same person). <meow>




_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 1:10:14 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

As for the one that recommends lying to prospective slaves - I didn't realize she'd started posting to this board (perhaps we're not thinking of the same person). <meow>


Well...the one I am thinking of is a he...though if he lies about one thing, I guess you really can't be sure of anything now, can you?

Taggard


_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 1:51:47 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty


quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

As for the one that recommends lying to prospective slaves - I didn't realize she'd started posting to this board (perhaps we're not thinking of the same person). <meow>


Well...the one I am thinking of is a he...though if he lies about one thing, I guess you really can't be sure of anything now, can you?

Taggard




Ahhhh, ya see? I DID miss that discussion. You're correct, we are not talking about the same person. The person I am referring to identifies as a woman (but what would I know about the truth of that???) and, to my knowledge, doesn't post here. But then, some of the rash of uglier posts recently looked very familiar to me. <shrug>

Who knows? Who cares?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 3:23:06 PM   
CTclay


Posts: 123
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

who started this thread, indicated that her felonious friend could count on her not judging him. Is there a contradiction between complaining about liars and then embracing them? [quote/]


First of all I do not have to judge. The state already did that. The point you missed was. People can be themselves and not necessarily have to be judged by me. People don't have to pretend they are someone they are not to still have friends.
The man got out of prison and I was one of the first people he called to confess his sins.
He is not my dom. He is just a man I happen to know.
I know several here on these boards who would lie to you about what they ate today.

WHY? What does it matter?
The people who truly mean something to you in life are going to like you for whatever you are and understand. You don't have to hide who you are.


Is it possible that when we talk about not judging others we're really (sometimes? mostly?) talking about forgiving them, or putting their faults into perspective? If you think about it, CitizenCane, you may agree there's no real contradiction.

I think people who have been through prison, who appear to be sorry for what they've done need the support. Good for you, Gloria. It can even be worth going out on a limb (at least a bit) for them, depending on the circumstances.

Yes, the standards just have to be higher in this lifestyle -- but still, if you knew from experience that a dominant was careful in scenes and had integrity in other ways, you wouldn't run away screaming if that dominant also happened to tell you a few tall tales. If I didn't know much else about a dominant who I caught in a lie -- personally, I'd run away screaming.

The liars that really would disturb me: Someone who would lie about whether they're already in a relationship, or who suggests she would sneak around her significant other to have a relationship with me. Also, some dominant who would lie about her experience level. You can't win with those people. As to other lies, I guess it depends on what I know about the whole person.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 5:35:31 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CitizenCane
You miss the point entirely. Sub4hire, who started this thread, indicated that her felonious friend could count on her not judging him. Is there a contradiction between complaining about liars and then embracing them?

Apparently I did, but not because I'm slow, though I definitely have those moments...
I replied to you because you replied to me (though perhaps you didn't mean to hit reply at my post???), and the post of yours I quoted stood alone, it didn't have a piece of sub4hire's thought to indicate that you were talking with her...
Anyway, I'll pay closer attention, and hope you'll do same... M


< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 3/26/2005 5:37:05 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to CitizenCane)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 6:26:47 PM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I think the 'in reply to' function defaults to the most recent post unless you quote an earlier one.

I'm about to find out for sure by posting this using the 'post reply' button.



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Citizen Cane

If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver?

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 6:27:10 PM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Yup

_____________________________

Citizen Cane

If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver?

(in reply to CitizenCane)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/26/2005 7:42:35 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I think not babe...
Meant for CitizenKane... Pardon the confusion Clay. M

See how I replied to CTClay even though you were the last one to post?

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 3/26/2005 7:43:24 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to CTclay)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/27/2005 7:43:47 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

I know one that recommends lying...but only to prospective slaves. *smile*

Yes, that example was fresh in my mind, but I considered him as being honest though also foolish to say all that stuff and apparently have no clue about the sort of impression it leaves. I actually consider that to be honest to a fault, or maybe being unintentionally honest about faults. So while he was suggesting lying, I didn't think he was lying to us (at least not in that instance), but as you say it is cause for suspicion.

As I was writing this my mind wandered into the area of lying politicians. It occurs to me that there are seem to be lies we tolerate and others we don't. For example, I know folks who still complain about Clinton lying about blowjobs, but they make all sorts of excuses about Bush and Cheney lying about Iraq WMDs and the link to Al Quada; similarly I make excuses for Clinton and condemn Bush, though I do have a grudging respect for Cheney's outstanding skill as a liar. Anyway, just a random idea to toss into the discussion that may explain how we may classify someone as a liar or something else.

Oh, and I'm not gonna make it to Vegas for that beer. However, Lily says there are some good Irish bars up your way; perhaps I'll have to make a pilgramage to see and take you up on that offer.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Lies, Distrust and Integrity - 3/27/2005 9:02:36 AM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Well, as a matter of practical fact, if I use the 'post reply' button on the bottom of the page, it defaults to the most recent post. Which is exactly what I said, sweetie.



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Citizen Cane

If silence is golden, why is duct tape silver?

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 40
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