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Wise and humorous quotes - 2/28/2007 1:22:26 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		What are your favorite wise and humorous quotes?
These can be from a writer, comic, song, sacred text,
cultural, family, etc.  Please do indicate the source if
you remember where you heard or read the quote.
 
I am a big fan of Murphy's Laws, so here is one -
"It is better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to
 open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk
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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 2/28/2007 1:24:15 PM   
MasterFireMaam


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Status: offline 		The world was my oyster, but I used the wrong fork.- Oscar Wilde

Master Fire


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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 2/28/2007 1:25:07 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."
  --  Dorothy Parker

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 2/28/2007 1:36:12 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
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Status: offline 		No person can be considered a failure who has been the cause of a child's laughter.

Anon.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 2/28/2007 1:39:32 PM   
angeldevil


Posts: 503
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From: uk
Status: offline 		"Remember, if you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast."

Woody Allen

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Do these welts make my butt look big?

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 2/28/2007 1:45:33 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. -Thoreau


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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 2/28/2007 2:25:54 PM   
windchymes


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Status: offline 		They're posted right under this sentence :)

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 2/28/2007 2:35:13 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		"The grass is always greener over the septic tank"
 
"If God had wanted me to take you kids to church,
 he would have put a toilet at the end of every pew."
 
 both quotes by Erma Bombeck

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 2/28/2007 2:57:47 PM   
domiguy


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Status: offline 		The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages- As if the savages weren't dangerous enough already.
----Edward Abbey

Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity.
----Frederick Nietzsche

I founded a new group called Alcoholics Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you.
----Richard Harris

I would kill myself if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe.
----Elizabeth Hurley

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/28/2007 3:06:29 PM >

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 5:06:44 AM   
angeldevil


Posts: 503
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: uk
Status: offline 		"From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs"
Karl Marx

"Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted"
Bob Monkhouse

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Do these welts make my butt look big?

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 8:42:43 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
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Status: offline 		B4 ILvUQT RU/18?

"It's better to be looked over than overlooked",   Murphy's Law
 
I don't exercise,  If God wanted me to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. Joan Rivers

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 3/1/2007 8:45:54 AM >

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 8:51:30 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of its students.
 
Often attributed to Robin Williams, but I am somewhat unconvinced of this.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 8:56:36 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Stupid is as stupid does
- Forrest Gump

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 9:17:32 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		More sage wisdom from Murphy's Laws -
 
"A pipe gives a wise man time to think and fool something to put in his mouth."
 
"Friends come and go but enemies accumulate!"
 
"The chance of a piece of bread falling butter side down on the floor
 is in direct proportion to the cost of the carpet."

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 9:29:08 AM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		My ship came in today




I was at the bus station

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 1:46:30 PM   
toservez


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From: All over now in Minnesota
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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

They're posted right under this sentence :)

quote:

Great minds discuss concepts. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people.


“Great minds discuss concepts. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people.” I would love if the person who wrote or said this added, tiny minds can only discuss themselves.

I had the right to remain silent, just not the ability – Ron White

Success is a journey and not a destination.

The wages of sin is death, but after taxes it leaves you with more of a tired feeling. – Paula Poundstone


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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 1:49:07 PM   
Rumtiger


Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline 		got my quotes already too.

_____________________________

Fuck the Pandas!
-Moi

Mmm, I love me some kickboxers, you know why? Cause ya'll cant take a punch!
- Quentin Tarantino.

If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
-Tucker Max

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 1:56:41 PM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
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Status: offline 		And the Queen said "If I had any balls...I'd be King!".....(a guy I used to cut logs with).......

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 1:59:24 PM   
windchymes


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Joined: 4/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

They're posted right under this sentence :)

quote:

Great minds discuss concepts. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people.


“Great minds discuss concepts. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people.” I would love if the person who wrote or said this added, tiny minds can only discuss themselves.

I had the right to remain silent, just not the ability – Ron White

Success is a journey and not a destination.

The wages of sin is death, but after taxes it leaves you with more of a tired feeling. – Paula Poundstone



It's such a great quote, I wish I knew who to attribute it to!  I might have seen it in Reader's Digest or some publication like that, jotted it down, and kept it on hand.   BTW, you gotta love Ron White

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: Wise and humorous quotes - 3/1/2007 2:02:20 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		A lie told often enough becomes the truth - Lenin.
 
Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash - Winston Churchill.


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I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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