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RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 5:02:42 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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I don't need a schedule and really work better without one. The closest I come to a schedule is a simple list of things I plan or need to do on a given day, which includes any appointments for that day, but gives me the option of doing them as I'm ready to rather than blocking time for each individual thing. The appointment(s), if any, are the only thing blocked into a time slot.

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Post #: 21

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 5:03:42 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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no i don't keep a daily schedule because mine sometimes will change at the last minute. it would be hard to keep a schedule if Daddy was ever to give me a daily one however i do have a set routine that i sometimes follow on my own. the only schedules i do keep are for doctor/therapy appts and deadlines for the concert reviews i write.

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(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 22

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 5:04:24 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Thank you so very much for the responses thus far...but wouldn't a schedule/ routine portray control, obedience and discipline which are staples of a M/s?

Respectfully,
curious

In our relationship if he wants something done he tells me. He has mentioned a list of things he would like to see me get done on his way out the door, but there is no list of things I have to do at certain times. He would feel that was micromanagement, and he does not want a submissive that needs micromanagement because it does nothing for him.

It is a compatiblity issue in my eyes, because if a dominant feels that it is a pain in the ass to make a list of tasks a submissive must do because she needs that, well those two are not well suited in my opinion. Whatever the activity should be good for both. Many feel that they should know what is expected of them and do it without lists every day.

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(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 23

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 5:07:07 PM

Padriag

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Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Do you believe a daily schedule/routine for a slave is a staple in the foundation of a M/s relationship? Why or why not?

If so, please share briefly an example of daily routine..is there allotted time for chores, personal grooming, exercise.. etc ?

Do I think its a staple of M/s? Its been my observation that in general, no, its is not. The reason being is that many couples or dominants simply either aren't organized enough to create one and/or their arrangement is very informal and doesn't rely on such.

Personally I think a general daily routine is useful, particularly early on when establishing the slave's role (and in particular establishing obedience). Schedules tend to break down if they are too rigid or too complex... even an organized life is not that routine. But if left flexible enough to deal with life's irregularities, they can help create a nice sense of structure.

Some things I often include are requiring a slave to be up before I am (so that she is already awake and ready to be of service when I wake up), daily time for exercise (which varies with the amount needed depending on the individual), chores and other routine will likely have a regular block of time which will be adjusted as necessary. Other adjustments may be made for periods of additional training, education, ongoing special activities, etc.

In short, I don't think an exacting chart with every minute of the day planned out is particularly useful and will probably prove both impractical and frustrating. But I have found it useful to establish a general routine such as "be awake and up 15 min before I am (I get up at a regular time)" or "chores should be attended too in the morning until lunch time" or "spend 1 hour a day performing an exercise routine when time permits" and so forth.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 24

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 5:09:44 PM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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I don't necessarily like a schedule but it depend on the slave/sub..Some are go getter and function quiet well on their own within our guidelines others need more attention and a rigid schedule...bounty

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Post #: 25

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 5:34:34 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Do you believe a daily schedule/routine for a slave is a staple in the foundation of a M/s relationship? Why or why not?

If so, please share briefly an example of daily routine..is there allotted time for chores, personal grooming, exercise.. etc ?

Respectfully,
Curious

No, I don't. Mainly 'cause that would drive me insane to keep up with.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 26

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 5:47:27 PM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
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I pretty much have a daily routine but it is not something that is enforced by my partner, because I have such a busy life, I must use a routine and I find if my routine is altered for emergencies or whatever, it totally throws my life out of whack.

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 27

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 5:54:48 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Do you believe a daily schedule/routine for a slave is a staple in the foundation of a M/s relationship? Why or why not?

If so, please share briefly an example of daily routine..is there allotted time for chores, personal grooming, exercise.. etc ?

Respectfully,
Curious

For this 24/7 slave, a very structured life is necessary for me to function at my best and my Master and i have developed a daily routine that works for U/us, with flexability for the occasional things that come up. Master knows that having a schedule helps me stay on task and get my work done, meet all of my obligations to my Master and others and still have time for a little "me" time throughout the day. If interested, you can see what a "typical" day in my life looks like at http://www.collarchat.com/m_785356/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#785564.

slave joy
Owned property of Master david

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 28

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 6:42:29 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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2 gold stars to joy!

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Post #: 29

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 7:26:23 PM

sleazybutterfly

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Joined: 5/15/2006
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I don't feel the need to have my days planned out for me. I know what things need to be done around the house and I take it upon myself to make sure they are done on a daily basis as needed. I think it would drive me a little nuts to be set to a schedule of duties, sort of like I wasn't capable of taking care of tasks without being told to first. I think that my Master has enough faith in me to know that I will always make sure everything is taken care of and doesn't see the need to manage my daily activities.

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(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 30

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 8:00:14 PM

moki1984

Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kitXI7

I personally like having a list of expectations every day ... Not neccessarily a schedule but more like, "I expect to have the following tasks completed by the time I get home ..."

I was homeschooled through high school. I did college courses through correspondence and I am currently self-employed so time management is one of my strong points provided that I know exactly what is expected of me and how much time I have to complete said expectations.

Structure is good but for me, personally, too much structure can become stifling. I guess thats just the artist in me ...

I am on the same boat...after years of military service which had a strict strict schedule I do very good with a "get these things done..." not necessarily set in time increments just a rough listing of my duties to achieve in whichever order I perceive. Of course I also agree too much structure kills a part of me...i am also an artist as you so maybe that is the reason hehe.

(in reply to kitXI7)

Post #: 31

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 9:09:28 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Funny thing: I got to talking to anne about this topic and how I thought the idea of having a daily schedule for my slave was too much work. her response was, "But Ma'am, you already do it without thinking." Once I got to thinking about it, I realized she's right. It's just that it's more freeform than a hour by hour schedule. Since it wasn't the later, I didn't think it was a schedule at all. I DO give her things that she needs to do and a deadline in which to do it...and I limit her "big" things to three a day so she doesn't get overloaded. she had to schedule her time and "things" in order to get things done.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

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Post #: 32

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 9:13:16 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitXI7

I personally like having a list of expectations every day ... Not neccessarily a schedule but more like, "I expect to have the following tasks completed by the time I get home ..."

I was homeschooled through high school. I did college courses through correspondence and I am currently self-employed so time management is one of my strong points provided that I know exactly what is expected of me and how much time I have to complete said expectations.

Structure is good but for me, personally, too much structure can become stifling. I guess thats just the artist in me ...

I am on the same boat...after years of military service which had a strict strict schedule I do very good with a "get these things done..." not necessarily set in time increments just a rough listing of my duties to achieve in whichever order I perceive. Of course I also agree too much structure kills a part of me...i am also an artist as you so maybe that is the reason hehe.

i also spent a lot of years in the Army, from age 18 to 31, and i thrived in that strict regimen. my Master doesn't need to manage me because i stay on my schedule. He and i both came up with my schedule early in our relationship when i was having difficulty finding the time to get everything done, including my artistic pursuits. It's not a checklist that He uses to monitor me. It is my guide to help me manage my time. It works well for me. In fact, i often made my own schedule, when i was unowned and living on my own. i get more out of my day when i have a plan to go by.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 33

RE: Daily Schedules - 2/28/2007 9:21:24 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

I don't necessarily like a schedule but it depend on the slave/sub..Some are go getter and function quiet well on their own within our guidelines others need more attention and a rigid schedule...bounty

I agree. Some function much better on a tightly defined set of schedule bullets. On the other hand, I have enough going on trying to keep things working in my life, I see taking that level of control of another person's life to be something I personally dont derive a great deal of satisfaction in. Say you want to go to graduate school. I will ask what one has done to go to graduate school lately. I might offer up suggestions. But I will be up front about what I want. Somebody not willing to make the effort to make it happen probably is not somebody that will work in a relationship with me.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

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"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)

Post #: 34

RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 5:18:23 AM

Caitriona

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Joined: 8/28/2006
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I keep a sort of general schedule:

Dishes: Mon/Wed/Fri
Laundry: Tues/Thurs/Sun
Clean Kitchen: Mon/Wed/Fri
Clean Living/Dining Rooms: Tues/Thurs
Clean Bedroom/Bathroom: Sun

I am not given a set amount of time to do those things in, and am allowed some flexibility. During the weekday My Lord expects my chores done before he comes home from work.

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Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 35

RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 6:35:41 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caitriona

I keep a sort of general schedule:

Dishes: Mon/Wed/Fri
Laundry: Tues/Thurs/Sun
Clean Kitchen: Mon/Wed/Fri
Clean Living/Dining Rooms: Tues/Thurs
Clean Bedroom/Bathroom: Sun

I am not given a set amount of time to do those things in, and am allowed some flexibility. During the weekday My Lord expects my chores done before he comes home from work.

This is something I'm much more inclined to do...and actually would have done naturally since it's the way my chores were given to me as a kid. I was a latch key kid and was expected to have these things done by the time mom and dad got home.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Caitriona)

Post #: 36

RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 6:53:12 AM

justinasamerk

Posts: 153
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline

greetings curious,
Sir is the type who has a schedule for everything. He will make one up and mark off each and every thing he accomplishes. For him it works...for a very long time it was something that i didnt use at all. I was the type did what had to do and if not finish it, do it the next day. No planing at all.
Since there was certain things he wanted for a girl that she was not producing, we started a planning scheduling journalinig program for a girl, which has been helping. Every day i have to write out a proposed schedule for the next day, which will include time, food, plans, and activities for the day. As the day progresses sure life happens and things change it is then i have to show how my projected schedule is different from actual schedule performed. It is a good practice for my perception of how i think i spend my time vs how i do. Another schedule is diet and exercise. Sir wants a girl to lose weight not only for him and herself, but for health reasons to. Her methods didnt work, now he had to take control of that too. She has a schedule of what she eats when and how much, and even started weight watchers to help her out...so far having great positive success as the numbers are going down, and her attitude is getting better.....
I personally don't believe scheduling is a "Staple" of every M/s relationship, it works for some but not others. If you asked me this question a year ago, would have said NO way, scheduling doesn't work, but now that i am on a schedule...it does work, and my mind frame is different. i believe as a dynamic try different things, see what works, what doesnt, and eventually you will find a consistancy. As for every relationship To each their own...

hope that helps, t ake care curiouslyseeking good luck,
justina, the sweet potato

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 37

RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 6:54:56 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
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To reinforce what others have suggested, a schedule is not a prerequisite to a M/s relationship. Each Master and slave define for themselves what form and level daily control will take. I, for example, am not a micro-manager, nor does my slave need one. She is very good at this all by herself.

LA:
For perfectionists especially, routine can being them a sense of calm and control. Since a lot of slaves are perfectionist control freaks, this is exactly what they need.

Actually, LA, I disagree. Perfectionism is a common form of lack of self-esteem issues. As you know, a great many slaves have low self-esteem. If one's goal is to help your slave grow, giving them a rigid schedule is the worst thing to do.

Better to do as MasterFireMaam suggested. Give them jobs that require doing, but leave it up to them as to when they get it done, as long as everything is done in the time alloted, like the end of the day, when Master gets home, etc.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)

Post #: 38

RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 6:58:57 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caitriona

Dishes: Mon/Wed/Fri
Clean Kitchen: Mon/Wed/Fri

I realized when I left my ex-wife that one of the things that really got under my skin was her inability to do the dishes when she cooked. If I got home at 2:30am, and woke up at 5:30 to go to work, I would have to wash the coffee maker, wash a coffee cup, get it all together, and get my keister out the door.

When it was just me and there was no constant power struggle, I decided to make sure the sink and kitchen were clean before I went to bed. Then I came to the conclusion (I love to cook) that cleaning up as I go makes for easy cleanup.

strumpet knows this about me, and I have never had any objections to how well she keeps the place when she is here. Plus, she is accepting of my psychotic schedule.

On a related note, I am forcing myself to only work 5 days a week.

It is all good.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Caitriona)

Post #: 39

RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 7:00:41 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

Yeah, I tend to think more in terms of routines and rythms rather than fixed schedules organized by the clock. On the surface things look rather chaotic though there's a deeper order that I'm usually not aware of unless its disrupted by events and I get disoriented.

Rethinking the question posed in the OP, I'm finding it difficult to imagine any kind of relationship that didn't involve some kind of scheduling and, in the past, when this kind of thing was absent, the relationship never congealed or fell apart. Generally the scheduling is by default, as I don't need micromanaging. If I know when I'm going to be with a dominant I'm involved with, I organize the rest of my life in such a way that I can devote my full attention to him. This does translate in a form of control, however subtle, because I'm letting the relationship have priority over my other activities and since I generally let the dominant decide the details of the relationship, I end up ceding large amounts of control to him, but it only works for me if the dominant is reliable and is generally able to follow through on his commitments.

Thus, if I know I'm supposed to phone every night between 8 and 9 pm, I'll organize everything so I have time to focus on the phone call. So, dinner is over and cleaned up, my kids are showered and in bed and the day is basically done by the time I make the phone call. The scheduling happens and is controlled by the Dominant, though he doesn't really have to do anything except be available to talk. It all works out very well if the Dominant is available to answer the phone and talk a bit on a fairly regular basis. If he's not, the process never comes together, and the control never happens. In the past, guys are usually very attentive at the beginning of a relationship, and are always around to take the phone call, talk on im at regular predictable intervals, or get together (or whatever) but as the relationship becomes more solid, they become more complacent and aren't as reliable and I have to find other ways to organize myself. This is generally the beginning of the end of the any D/s element in the relationship because there's nothing for me to submit to.

So, yeah, I can see how a routine provides the foundation to a M/s relationship.

_____________________________

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(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 40

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