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RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 7:05:45 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		before my Master and i lived together, i had a pretty rigid schedule to follow...each day there were specific things to be done and specific times in which to do them. there was a wake-up and bed time, time for bathing/grooming, time for exercise (being a fitness buff himself, he came up with a very detailed regimen for me), time for meditation, "free" time, etc. i think that being long distance, having a schedule really helped provide a constant reminder of his control over and ownership of me.

however when we moved in together, the rigid schedule flew out the window. the complexities and surprises of life just don't allow for it. but i do still have a set list of chores, tasks, etc. that must be completed each day, some time specific, some not. for example i must wake him and prepare his breakfast each morning, as well as make his lunch for him to take to work. everyday general housecleaning must be done, with certain things like dusting, vacuuming, mopping, needing to be done on certain days of the week. if there is anything pressing or out of the ordinary that he wants done, he'll just tell me on his way out of the house in the morning. everything must be done by the time he gets home in the evening, but that's about as rigid as it gets.

schedules certainly aren't necessary in M/s relationships, and wouldn't even be beneficial for some.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 7:13:06 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic
Actually, LA, I disagree. Perfectionism is a common form of lack of self-esteem issues. As you know, a great many slaves have low self-esteem. If one's goal is to help your slave grow, giving them a rigid schedule is the worst thing to do.

The lack of self esteem is usually due to not feeling in control of one's situation.

I didn't say rigid schedule- I said routine.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 7:21:51 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		It was the wording of this sentence that was not clear to me: "Since a lot of slaves are perfectionist control freaks, this is exactly what they need."
 
I inferred from that sentence that you were suggesting what slaves needed was complete control to feed that need. With your clarification, I agree, we are saying the same thing.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 11:22:55 AM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

This is something I'm much more inclined to do...and actually would have done naturally since it's the way my chores were given to me as a kid. I was a latch key kid and was expected to have these things done by the time mom and dad got home.

Master Fire



Me too - that's where it came from! 


_____________________________

Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 2:01:32 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Do you believe a daily schedule/routine for a slave is a staple in the foundation of a M/s relationship? Why or why not?

If so, please share briefly an example of daily routine..is there allotted time for chores, personal grooming, exercise.. etc ?

Respectfully,
Curious


I think a daily schedule is comforting to many people and by and large and necessity for holding a job and balancing all parts of our lives.

I don't think it's necessary for any one role.

I think it is useful to have stable rituals or moments in your day or reconnect as lovers, partners, whatever your relationship.

Fox and I have an evening ritual we do every night that helps us remove our stresses of the mundane world for a while and just be ourselves with each other.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 2:53:24 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Thank you so very much for the responses thus far...but wouldn't a schedule/ routine portray control, obedience and discipline which are staples of  a M/s?
 
Respectfully,
curious


That's an external form of enslavement versus the s internalizing it which I personally prefer. He doesn't have to prove he's the dom by assigning things I really am capable of doing myself.

For instance, suppose you said the kitchen floor must be cleaned every Tuesday afternoon. So then you ask one Tuesday if she cleaned it and she says no. Is your response to punish her immediately or to ask why? For most adults, the why would probably be because it was sticky Sunday night and got washed then. Now if she has to redo it for no reason except to waste time she may lose respect for your insistence that it be washed even though it's still clean. She will lose respect if you insist she isn't capable of deciding herself when a floor is dirty.

Myself I'm not into control, obedience and discipline. Nor is he. What he wants from me is total vulnerability and emotional transparency. I could wash the floor on Tuesday while thinking to myself what an idiot he is but that wouldn't strengthen the bond between us. Giving him the core of me, allowing him the opportunity to hurt me to a degree I might never recover from, and discovering each day that he never will has caused a bond comprised of love and devotion deeper than I've ever known.

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Daily Schedules - 3/1/2007 3:02:33 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		IT is a given here,house work done ,clothes washed and put away IE before we return home including dinner ready to be set..now in what order this is to be done is up to her...SOME are seld starters, go getters don't need a ridged sch, others need pointed the way and often..WE appreciate a bright girl, a go getter,one that is quick and thinking on the go..Makes things a whole lot easier on this old MASTER.IF for some reason a sub/slave just can't get it done,then shes in for a set down with DIANE to wotk out the kinks oops smile..bounty

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Daily Schedules - 3/2/2007 6:42:42 AM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		i am at my best when i operate in an environment of strict Command & Control from the Top down.  For me, that eliminates any confusion or doubt as to what is expected of me.  i've never enjoyed having to "guess" what is expected.  i prefer being told.  But, i listen very well and i don't need to be told more than once.  my Master has no need to micromanage me because i have my daily plan to guide me.  Call it a "schedule" or "routine", it is just my tool for keeping me on task and not wasting time.  i tend to try to accomplish a dozen different tasks at one time and having a daily plan of priorities of things that need to get done helps me to get the most out of my day.  There are some things that have to be done at a certain time out of necessity, such as making it to the bus stop on time requires getting up by a certain time, getting washed and dressed by a certain time, making coffee by a certain time, etc.  my schedule nearly eliminates any chaos in my life that is caused from having to scramble to meet obligations in a "crunch".  Things run smoothly because my time is used effectively. 
 
Master doesn't "check" my schedule.  He can see that i have done what needs to be done and He doesn't have to worry about it.  For me, having a daily schedule keeps me from having to rush at the last minute and keeps me from worrying about whether i have forgotten anything.  It isn't something i have to check, either, because i have been doing it routinely day after day for so long that it is all internalized and automatic.  The schedule that originally was written down, while Master and i planned out my day, is now just stored in my head. 
 
There is still plenty of "wiggle room" for the things that come up that are not daily activites and time for being spontaneous and taking advantage of a pleasant change in the weather and heading outdoors for a romp in the woods at the spur of the moment.  But, i would have a hard time enjoying those spontaneous enjoyments, if i had in the back of my mind that i still had laundry to do or bathrooms to clean or i hadn't gotten some other daily task completed.  Getting my daily chores done on schedule allows me to be at peace with myself and enjoy the rest of the day.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Daily Schedules - 3/2/2007 6:06:00 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		I think it will depend (like most things) on the personalites and dynamic. Some Dom's (Masters-pick the term best suites) love to micro manage while others don't same as for slaves/subm.
I'm not in a  structured M/s relationship but there has been a bit of a paradigm shift with myself and Rob but he also knows I thrive on sponteniety and  unpredictability. I struggle with schedules and regimented behavior. This is probably why I can multi task so well *S* I like to do many things at once. I can still look to him for plans but we are both people who enjoy that  hint of 'what next' that gets taken away when everything is scheduled and mapped out. He is not a Master to me because of how he structures my life but how he is a part of it.


denika

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Daily Schedules - 3/2/2007 6:15:36 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I know you addressed this to the M/s dynamic, but as a submissive, I thought I'd comment anyway.

For me, a structure is pretty important, but for reasons that may not appear very obvious. I'm a writer. I'm a solitary kind of person who does a lot of things alone, including writing and research. As a result, if there is not structure placed over me by the woman I'm with, I can easily absorb myself into my own life UNTIL she and I have something solidly in place. I'm also a creature of habit, so once the relationship becomes habit, that solitary part kind of washes away. But I can easily see myself not growing into a bdsm relationship because she hasn't put any effort to actually take some type of structural control.


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to curiouslyseeking)
Profile   Post #: 50
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