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Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 7:56:55 PM

moki1984

Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I do not like anybody except the man I submit to saying such derogatory things to me or name calling. Again i mean no disrespect" to which he rplied by telling me to go fuck myself.............so i called him an asshole and stopped talking to him. Looking back I do nto think I was wrong in taking offense....just because someone is dom does not mean they can run around calling anyone and everyone a cunt etc. etc...so I ask...do you think my reaction was wrong? I stand by what I said to him but I am curious if anyone agrees/disagree's. Thank you for taking the time to read this entire thing lol.

Post #: 1

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 7:59:28 PM

boltaction

Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline

You know what the answer to this already is. Of course you were right, real doms show respect to everyone until that certain someone wishes him or her not to...

(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 2

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 7:59:49 PM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

Based on what you described, I see nothing wrong with your response.

(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 3

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:00:33 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I...

He didn't deserve even that...

(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 4

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:01:22 PM

ArgoGeorgia

Posts: 256
Joined: 2/9/2007
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline

I think the term 'safe, sane, and consensual' definitely applies here. He certainly did not sound sane, and him abusing you in this fashion was not consensual. So you were well within your rights. Dom does not equal asshole, no matter how many assholes say otherwise.

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RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:01:40 PM

moki1984

Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

thank you

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 6

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:03:38 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I do not like anybody except the man I submit to saying such derogatory things to me or name calling. Again i mean no disrespect" to which he rplied by telling me to go fuck myself.............so i called him an asshole and stopped talking to him. Looking back I do nto think I was wrong in taking offense....just because someone is dom does not mean they can run around calling anyone and everyone a cunt etc. etc...so I ask...do you think my reaction was wrong? I stand by what I said to him but I am curious if anyone agrees/disagree's. Thank you for taking the time to read this entire thing lol.

Let’s look at it objectively. If face slapping wasn't your bag and he walked up and started smacking you around what would you have done?

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(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 7

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:07:04 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I do not like anybody except the man I submit to saying such derogatory things to me or name calling. Again i mean no disrespect" to which he rplied by telling me to go fuck myself.............so i called him an asshole and stopped talking to him. Looking back I do nto think I was wrong in taking offense....just because someone is dom does not mean they can run around calling anyone and everyone a cunt etc. etc...so I ask...do you think my reaction was wrong? I stand by what I said to him but I am curious if anyone agrees/disagree's. Thank you for taking the time to read this entire thing lol.

You weren't wrong in taking offense. There is a reason particular names/words are used in humaliation play and that's because in most settings people don't like them being applied to their person. He took a risk in using them and he reaped his reward.

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(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 8

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:10:13 PM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

Didju thank him for saving
you from wasting even one extra
heartbeat's worth of time over him?

The dude is a genius of time management,
when ya think about it, eh?

DD

(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 9

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:10:21 PM

azzmaster

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

its alot easier just to say, ur rude, then totally ignor the person

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 10

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:13:39 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear moki1984, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eyes I see, Dominants should practice good manners and good behavior and attitude period. Unfortunately, all too often--there are Dominants who demand/expect/command respect however, for many reasons do not grasp the concept that respect is earned and it is earned by giving.

Just as Dominants come in all flavors, some seem to feel the need to posture and claim superior status. Most seasoned Dominants know that such are not good examples of what should be however, there are more Dominants who are respectful then the rear end where the sun doesn't shine with a brown hanging chad swinging freely in the air.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 11

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:17:52 PM

domahpet

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

well, at least you didnt spend a couple of weeks of your time before the name calling started, like i did, you lucky girl

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 12

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:31:08 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

there are more Dominants who are respectful then the rear end where the sun doesn't shine with a brown hanging chad swinging freely in the air.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

Too funny! You have such a way with words LadyHugs

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(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 13

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:35:01 PM

Mikal

Posts: 3673
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
... Just as Dominants come in all flavors, ... seasoned Dominants...

Just a quick lil' hijack... Lady Hugs, what flavours do you find Dominants in? I'm particularily fond of ketchup and curry (NOT together tyvm), but I haven't found a Dominant so flavoured... or sub either.

Also, what seasonings do you use to keep your Dominant skin so lovely? Or are the seasonings just for spicier sex?

To the OP - you were perfectly within your rights. He was out of line, and there was no excuse. Simple as that.

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Post #: 14

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 8:44:17 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Someone else's lack of manners is never an excuse to forget one's own.

I'd worry more about why you gave an online stranger the ability to affect you so deeply. You have to choose to take offense at something- why waste energy on that?

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(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 15

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 9:04:49 PM

azzmaster

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

LA that is a good way to put it. why let someone u don't know affect ur headspace? its a waste of time

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 16

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 9:13:11 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I do not like anybody except the man I submit to saying such derogatory things to me or name calling. Again i mean no disrespect" to which he rplied by telling me to go fuck myself.............so i called him an asshole and stopped talking to him. Looking back I do nto think I was wrong in taking offense....just because someone is dom does not mean they can run around calling anyone and everyone a cunt etc. etc...so I ask...do you think my reaction was wrong? I stand by what I said to him but I am curious if anyone agrees/disagree's. Thank you for taking the time to read this entire thing lol.

If he altered your emotional state, then he was in control in the relationship.

Which is not to say you should frolic together over flower covered fields while the music swells in the background, but I would suggest you not allow some mindless twit to alter your emotional state.

Sinergy

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(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 17

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 2/28/2007 9:13:41 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

You're entitled to feel whatever emotion you feel and you're entitled to stand up for yourself and your boundaries. Your response was valid, but perhaps not phrased in the best way. You stooped to his level, so to speak.

Master Fire

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(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 18

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 3/1/2007 1:48:39 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

IMO, Dom or not, he wasn't YOUR Dom, and should be a gentleman until and unless he is.

Also I think someone who goes too far too fast like that might be dangerous.

T

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 19

RE: Was I wrong to take offence? - 3/1/2007 2:13:58 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

There's a fair chance the bloke is getting his kicks by dragging you and others into petty arguments about nothing (except a chance to be rude).

Best to ignore him/them from the start.

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 20

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