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Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 10:37:03 AM

msubneedstoserve

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Just red some articles about how some Dommes have helped their male sub break the "bi" barrier...

I was just wondering about some of your expecations and experiences..

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 10:58:34 AM

MsKatHouston

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It is something I enjoy but not something I expect. The way I have approached it is with a lot of discussion before hand as well as exposure in a non threatening setting to it. For example, watching a bi scene but not participating in it. There are all kinds of ways to get the subject out there and express how exciting it is. The submissive, if he is even passingly curious about it, may get even more interested because of the reaction of the dominant.

Basically, the guy is either up for doing it or not. If not, there's not a lot that can be done about it unless he changes his mind. I won't push it, personally. Then, there are those who don't like it but would do it for the dominant. They are not bi and would never pursue a m/m sexual situation without the dominant's encouragement. Those people are easy to work with. The truly bi men are pretty easy to work with too, it's just a matter of finding the right other partner.

I don't know if it's the times but I have received a ton of inquiries about bi scenes. I think more and more people are into it or are curious, even if it's only a one time thing.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 11:05:46 AM

FelinePersuasion

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I would expect them to have a genuine interest in it, first off. I'm not into that whole strong arm you into it because I say so, and you pretend to be against it.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 11:25:34 AM

msubneedstoserve

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i've watched it in r/l, watched it in video... its something that i'm curious to experience, but would have to be really comfortable with the other male...

Some Dommes like to "force" such submission with a male sub..others encourage it... Does the "forced" aspect make it much more intense or is that just up to the situation?

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 11:31:35 AM

Mysti

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I have to agree with Kat. If its something your curious to experience in a non forced situation, seek a Domme that can support you and help to facilitate.
The term forced is so gray. Like forced feminization in a male sub.. its not really forced if the sub doesnt say no.

Good luck. Playing both sides of the field is fun

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 11:36:56 AM

msubneedstoserve

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Thats true.. its hard to "force" someone if you'd like it... Now if i were tied up and in walked another guy, total surprise and someone i didnt know... i don't think i would enjoy it... and my history, if i enjoy something im usually up for seconds, thirds, ....

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 11:43:21 AM

Mysti

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quote:

ORIGINAL: msubneedstoserve

Thats true.. its hard to "force" someone if you'd like it... Now if i were tied up and in walked another guy, total surprise and someone i didnt know... i don't think i would enjoy it... and my history, if i enjoy something im usually up for seconds, thirds, ....

That would be something agreed upon at the beginning with your Mistress. If being truely forced into bi is a hard limit and she forced the issue...well thats pretty fucked up

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 11:50:35 AM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: msubneedstoserve

i've watched it in r/l, watched it in video... its something that i'm curious to experience, but would have to be really comfortable with the other male...

Some Dommes like to "force" such submission with a male sub..others encourage it... Does the "forced" aspect make it much more intense or is that just up to the situation?

I hate the term "forced". If someone has to be "forced" into doing something they really want to do, they have issues with being true to themselves. They're looking for someone else to give them permission that it's ok to want and do these things. This, to me, is looking for outward approval to tell you that you're ok. That's not healthy. If you want to do it, admit it. THEN the Dominant has something to work with in a positive manner.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 11:53:32 AM

msubneedstoserve

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MasterFire has a good point... the term "forced" is not really accurate... How can you force someone into a willing act...

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 12:16:23 PM

msubneedstoserve

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It seems from the feedback that the mental preparation is the key... once the curiosity isthere, just go slow and stoke the fires..

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

It is something I enjoy but not something I expect. The way I have approached it is with a lot of discussion before hand as well as exposure in a non threatening setting to it. For example, watching a bi scene but not participating in it. There are all kinds of ways to get the subject out there and express how exciting it is. The submissive, if he is even passingly curious about it, may get even more interested because of the reaction of the dominant.

Basically, the guy is either up for doing it or not. If not, there's not a lot that can be done about it unless he changes his mind. I won't push it, personally. Then, there are those who don't like it but would do it for the dominant. They are not bi and would never pursue a m/m sexual situation without the dominant's encouragement. Those people are easy to work with. The truly bi men are pretty easy to work with too, it's just a matter of finding the right other partner.

I don't know if it's the times but I have received a ton of inquiries about bi scenes. I think more and more people are into it or are curious, even if it's only a one time thing.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 12:20:30 PM

littlesarbonn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: msubneedstoserve

Just red some articles about how some Dommes have helped their male sub break the "bi" barrier...

I was just wondering about some of your expecations and experiences..

The only problem I see from the OP is the term "bi" barrier, as if everyone would eventually want to experience "bi" but just has to get past a preconceived barrier and only needs a Domme to help him get over that "problem".

If a Domme and I are involved in a relationship and she suddenly decides that I need to broach my "bi" barrier, chances are pretty good that she just broached the "relationship" barrier as I am not bi, will never be bi and don't need to be goaded into anything that's an unmoveable limit for me.

And to answer the obvious follow-up, "well, you obviously aren't really a submissive/slave if you're not willing to do this for her": A non-negotiable limit is a non-negotiable limit. It's not a hard limit that can take a lot of goading and exploration to get past. It's non-negotiable. If that argument is used, what it means to me is that she's not the dominant for me, and I'm not the submissive/slave for her. If she wants/needs a "bi" slave, there are a lot of them out there that she can choose from. I'm just not one of them.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 12:22:47 PM

justheather

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Enjoying an act and being mentally, emotionally and spiritually "ok" with the fact that you enjoy an act are two very different things.

The example given about being bound and then having someone "surprise" you is just the same as any other submission to an act that might have social/religious/moral baggage attached to it for an individual. It's all still dealing with the same baggage, just in a different way. Human beings are far too complex for this

quote:

Now if i were tied up and in walked another guy, total surprise and someone i didnt know...

to make any honest difference if an act and/or submitting to the act were something that a person found abhorrent. The only difference that it makes is perhaps it lessens the weight of perceived responsibility for wanting or enjoying something or maybe on another level wanting and enjoying being made to do something you really don't want to do. Bottom line is, however deep you have to go to get to the level where you can admit it, you still aren't being "forced" if it is a consensual situation. Some stuff just requires fancier mental gymnasitcs than others... one of the lovelier aspects of WIITWD is that it provides some interesting choreography to get us where we want to go.

Naturally, this is all IMHO.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 1:02:37 PM

kamessa

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I think there are ways of easing someone into most activities. For example with regard to introducing bisexual activities.Cream pies might be a good start. Then giving head and kissing the sub, passing the cum back to him. Then doing these activities with another man's sperm. Just jumping in is no way to explore a limit.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 1:45:45 PM

MsKatHouston

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quote:

as if everyone would eventually want to experience "bi" but just has to get past a preconceived barrier and only needs a Domme to help him get over that "problem".

I took it as not a barrier everyone would want to get over but specific people who have a curiosity but want help in a kink setting to try it out. But, not trying to put words in the OP's mouth, just speculating.

I completely agree with this:

quote:

what it means to me is that she's not the dominant for me, and I'm not the submissive/slave for her.

I was glad the op did not use the term "forced" in the first post. I too, dislike that term because ifyou are willing, it is not forced. There are aspects of forcing used in a play situation but that just deals with the manner in which the act itself is accomplished. Consent would have been given at the onset, thus not forced.

Honestly, it has been my experience that a person either has a curiosity or desire for it...or not. Those who do not are not likely to change their mind and if it is somehting that is important, best to look for someone who does not have that particular act as a non negotiable limit.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 3:15:16 PM

LadyPact

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True. There are those of us who skip this whole difficulty and seek others who are curious (minimally) to begin with. Personally, I don't care for the "bi" label whatseever, as it lumps everything into one catagory. There's manually bi, situationally bi, orally bi, sub space bi.... The list goes on and on, which is exactly why I don't care for the labels. I've never forced (ick, there's that word again) the situation on anyone who didn't want it from the beginning. If a sub contacts Me who isn't interested in such things, it's not a match and we move on. Simple as that.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 3:20:24 PM

LotusSong

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Please don't think that all Dommes are into the "forced bi" thing. I, for one, do not mess with someone's sexuality. If my slave wanted to experience it- I'd have a gay friend take him on, but I would not be in attendance. Why? Because, to me, ones' sexuality is a private affair. If the slave thinks he is "doing it for me" he would be placing the other person in the status of being no more than a dildo with legs.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 5:03:53 PM

cloudboy

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The question I have is, does "forced bi" turn you on as a femdom, and if so, why?

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 5:11:22 PM

willful

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And also if a Domme is turned on by it what is their view on the coffee commodity markets and how does this impact your enjoyment of cheese.

Also - how long is a piece of string

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 6:11:47 PM

chastiseme

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

It is something I enjoy but not something I expect. The way I have approached it is with a lot of discussion before hand as well as exposure in a non threatening setting to it. For example, watching a bi scene but not participating in it. There are all kinds of ways to get the subject out there and express how exciting it is. The submissive, if he is even passingly curious about it, may get even more interested because of the reaction of the dominant.

Basically, the guy is either up for doing it or not. If not, there's not a lot that can be done about it unless he changes his mind. I won't push it, personally. Then, there are those who don't like it but would do it for the dominant. They are not bi and would never pursue a m/m sexual situation without the dominant's encouragement. Those people are easy to work with. The truly bi men are pretty easy to work with too, it's just a matter of finding the right other partner.

I don't know if it's the times but I have received a ton of inquiries about bi scenes. I think more and more people are into it or are curious, even if it's only a one time thing.

i couldn't agree with Ms Kat more ... personally i'm not gay or bi but doing a bi scene to please a Domme is something that i have thought about and honestly with the right Domme i would definately try it but i would want the Domme to participate in it as well.

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RE: Breaking a male sub into bi.... - 3/5/2007 6:14:52 PM

VeryMercurial

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I have no interest in it and I have found more submissive males that want it then female.
I wonder why? I don't see submissive women begging to be forced bi.
odd

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