RE: elegance in serving (Full Version)

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LadyHugs -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:09:29 PM)

Dear mixielicous, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eyes I see, grace and elegance comes from within 'first.'
It comes with the 'spirit of intent' and how you project yourself within as to make it beam outward.
 
Service that comes from the heart will be much smoother and graceful.  Practice makes the protocols easier to carry, as its no longer a thought out order but a 'known' series of steps to get to that goal.
 
Another area where grace and elegance comes from, is from patience and the 'do not rush' mental strength.  When a person hurries, then elegance and grace is gone.
 
Posture is very important, as it also balances the body as well as the additional load, such as a service tray, etc.  Most servants find that the movement from the hip leading will be much smoother than leading from the leg.
 
In my salad days, I wore a 'hobble' which restricted the legs, as far as distance in stride goes.  Some of the gowns I wore acted like a hobble.  Some gowns were more yielding.
 
I am also a fan of using one's favorite and inspiring individual--What the qualities they possess and what identifies as the epitome of what grace, elegance and style would be.  Perhaps the late,HRH Princes Diana.  Perhaps HRH Queen Elizabeth II, her mother perhaps--Queen Mum and or her sister HRH Princess Margaret.  Perhaps looking past and look at the Ladies in Waiting to HRH Queen Elizabeth II or the servants, such as the footman, the housekeeper, the butler and so forth.
 
Another thing I do find important, is getting comfortable in a formal serving uniform before one serves at a formal event.  It goes with real practice.  But, so often everything goes perfectly in an everyday frock and then once in a more formal uniform, everything gets disrupted.  The uniform must become one's second skin per se.  So, like I wore gowns that were no longer fit for public consumption or to be seen public and practiced.  If its comfortable and not a distraction the entire person will come through as elegant and graceful.  This is the same with a servant.   Gloves are often something that throws off the smooth performance in service.  It really is due to not wearing them regularly enough as to be a comfortable addition.
 
If there are no long halls and long mirrors about, there is nothing to exclude the use of the store front windows that often act as mirrors.  Don't we all look at ourselves as we walk?  Some stores have mirrors on their building support columns, to which you can walk to them and practice.  Security cameras, one may watch themselves as they pass.
Perhaps a chum can video you.  Adding soft swaying music can help keep a graceful pace.
 
As for the serving aspects, it is amazing how a little bit of extra effort can create an elegant touch.  Small tray, add a lacy pad under the goblet, add a sprig of greens and then take the beverage to the victim..err target of the service.  Shows the extra effort beyond just bringing a goblet in the fingers.  A tray is attractive and adds class.
 
I do recommend Emily Post's book on etiquette and manners, as far as entertaining goes.  The era of the 1950-1970 was the year of entertainment and service.  International Guild of Professional Butlers also has a huge volume of 'service' in the capacity of a butler. 

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

 




SimplyMichael -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:19:17 PM)

SLOW DOWN!

Follow that simple instruction and you will instantly be more graceful. 

Watch movies where people move with grace and poise.  I realize it is cheesy but watch Memoirs of a Geisha.   Watch Jane Austen movies, they offer great contrast so things are highlighted.

And no matter WHAT you do, NEVER take advice from people who mention "formal dinner" and "frozen dinner" in the same paragraph!




swtrayn -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:22:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

That depends on if you "locate" or not.


Hey! I fixed that!
Are you ever gonna let me live that down?

laughs





lolafalula -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:26:37 PM)

In the days when women were more graceful and moved with fluent beauty, it was a time so different than what we know now. In those times, a woman's duties were broad with regard to tending to her man. One of them, was the expectation that she remain beautiful and desirable to her husband. The rituals a woman would follow to remain desirable were an expectation. Sadly, we now live in time and society where these rituals (working out, tanning, taking long baths, painting our nails, having a massage, etc.) are considered 'privilages'. We are our own worst enemy in this regard! I take these rituals very seriously and make the time to pamper my body and embrace my femininity. There is nothing that brings out grace and style in me than after I've bathed and pampered myself. I walk more softly and feel delicate and beautiful. I simply 'feel' more graceful and it shows in my movement and behavior. If one feels graceful, one will be graceful.




allofmee -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:38:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lolafalula

In the days when women were more graceful and moved with fluent beauty, it was a time so different than what we know now. In those times, a woman's duties were broad with regard to tending to her man. One of them, was the expectation that she remain beautiful and desirable to her husband. The rituals a woman would follow to remain desirable were an expectation. Sadly, we now live in time and society where these rituals (working out, tanning, taking long baths, painting our nails, having a massage, etc.) are considered 'privilages'. We are our own worst enemy in this regard! I take these rituals very seriously and make the time to pamper my body and embrace my femininity. There is nothing that brings out grace and style in me than after I've bathed and pampered myself. I walk more softly and feel delicate and beautiful. I simply 'feel' more graceful and it shows in my movement and behavior. If one feels graceful, one will be graceful.


Good for you! Taking care of oneself is healthy and beautiful!

[:)] wholesome lovely caretaking rituals are not  "privilaged" or "princessy" if a slave is pleasing her master with her silky grace!!!! Thanks for sharing!




FukinTroll -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:42:49 PM)

Nope. You are stuck with "locate". Jali is stuck with her dog dom'ing her. and Mikey is stuck with eating ass. Your in the book now and there is no escape.




subsa -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:45:15 PM)

there are many types of activities that can help a person achieve a sense of grace in their movements.  ballet, martial arts, yoga, pilates....all of these will help.  i believe the common thread in them is that they help the practioner to develop a 'body awareness'.  they all teach balance and build core strength.  most have some sort of concept of rooting into the ground and movement springs from that strength. 




AquaticSub -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:47:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lolafalula

In the days when women were more graceful and moved with fluent beauty, it was a time so different than what we know now. In those times, a woman's duties were broad with regard to tending to her man. One of them, was the expectation that she remain beautiful and desirable to her husband. The rituals a woman would follow to remain desirable were an expectation. Sadly, we now live in time and society where these rituals (working out, tanning, taking long baths, painting our nails, having a massage, etc.) are considered 'privilages'. We are our own worst enemy in this regard! I take these rituals very seriously and make the time to pamper my body and embrace my femininity. There is nothing that brings out grace and style in me than after I've bathed and pampered myself. I walk more softly and feel delicate and beautiful. I simply 'feel' more graceful and it shows in my movement and behavior. If one feels graceful, one will be graceful.


Yes. Picking maggots out of meat, plucking fowl and sweating in hot kitchens over open fires were very graceful activities.

I love how people get history confused with storybooks. The women you are taking about were few and far between, living lives of pampering that few could even dream of. Most of them were also well-paid whores who lost their luxerious lifestyles once they aged and something better came along. I noticed that nowhere in your pampering rituals did you list "reading a good book". The women who continued to be desired past the bloom of youth were those who had something better to offer - intelligence or a good work ethic.

Editing to add: Painting one's nails is a only modern attraction. The use of any make-up was long considered the mark of a whore and unbefiting a wife. In addition, tanning is also modern. Only peasents were tanned and as such the noble women you talk about went to great lengths to avoid it. Pale skin was a mark of purity and the only make-up allowed was a lead-based make-up that made the skin paler.




swtrayn -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:51:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Nope. You are stuck with "locate". Jali is stuck with her dog dom'ing her. and Mikey is stuck with eating ass. Your in the book now and there is no escape.


Laughs

Rather be in the book for something better then a typo LOL
But, atleast I am in it.

rayn




AquaticSub -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:53:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

something new that has come up is grace in servitude, elegance in serving. this is a quality that i have found the hardest to acheive because it is completely different to me.

i grew up rough and tumble, one of the boys - for a long time - having to prove myself in the green industry where i am surrounded by men [even in school it was 6::1 - at least] so i have learned how to maintain a very rough, aggressive, intelligent powerful persona in the way i handle and carry myself in the world.

the way the geisha served a man with such grace has always enticed me and recently i began my research on how to begin moving with elegance inside the house, with all the serving i preform, including domestic.

for me this is ideal because it will epitomize what Master and i view as an ideal slave, including ultra feminine in [most] movement.


so, THE QUESTION IS:

if your Master/Owner/Dom has had you working on this, what are some exercises He has you utilize, or that you have read about?

this is sure to be the hardest habit to break yet!


There are many different types of grace. I embrace my female grace by walking steadily, even practicing the most classic of balancing books on my head while going up and down stairs. However, the grace my owner favors is that of the martial artist. He has no use for ornamental women, favoring those who are both beautiful and deadly. I began my training long before I met him as something for myself and that is why I continue to do it. That he favors it makes me work harder, but I believe he is attracted to me because this is the sort of grace that suits me. I can lay in a spa being pampered all day. In fact I do when possible! However, I can hold my own in a sparring ring and will never have long nails because I value being able to defend myself as his property more then that particular vanity.




swtrayn -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:53:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsa

there are many types of activities that can help a person achieve a sense of grace in their movements.  ballet, martial arts, yoga, pilates....all of these will help.  i believe the common thread in them is that they help the practioner to develop a 'body awareness'.  they all teach balance and build core strength.  most have some sort of concept of rooting into the ground and movement springs from that strength. 


All good ideas, and don't forget Belly Dancing :)

rayn




swtrayn -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:56:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael


I realize it is cheesy but watch Memoirs of a Geisha.  


I haven't had a chance to watch that movie yet.
I will be watching it with a whole new purpose now.
Thank you for mentioning it.

rayn




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:56:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lolafalula
In the days when women were more graceful and moved with fluent beauty, it was a time so different than what we know now. In those times, a woman's duties were broad with regard to tending to her man. One of them, was the expectation that she remain beautiful and desirable to her husband. The rituals a woman would follow to remain desirable were an expectation. Sadly, we now live in time and society where these rituals (working out, tanning, taking long baths, painting our nails, having a massage, etc.) are considered 'privilages'. We are our own worst enemy in this regard! I take these rituals very seriously and make the time to pamper my body and embrace my femininity. There is nothing that brings out grace and style in me than after I've bathed and pampered myself. I walk more softly and feel delicate and beautiful. I simply 'feel' more graceful and it shows in my movement and behavior. If one feels graceful, one will be graceful.

Actually, in all periods only the very highest class of women were lucky enough to lead this sort of pampered life.  A huge majority of women had to do more manual labor to get breakfast on the table for the family than I think I do in an entire year.   




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 5:58:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Yes. Picking maggots out of meat, plucking fowl and sweating in hot kitchens over open fires were very graceful activities.

Dang I need to start reading your posts before I make mine. :)




AquaticSub -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 6:01:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Yes. Picking maggots out of meat, plucking fowl and sweating in hot kitchens over open fires were very graceful activities.

Dang I need to start reading your posts before I make mine. :)


It's all good! You might want to go back and reread it. I just remembered a little extra. *Grins*




lolafalula -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 6:02:56 PM)

The original post referenced geisha. It is with this type of graceful creature to which I refered. I was sharing my own rituals.
 




AquaticSub -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 6:04:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lolafalula

The original post referenced geisha. It is with this type of graceful creature to which I refered. I was sharing my own rituals.
 


Geisha weren't married to the men they were serving. You talked of wives and husbands.

In addition: Geisha were well read, excellent at conversation (something you neglect in your "pampering" yourself for your husband). They were to be beautiful and intelligent, providing entertainment on many levels not just eye candy.




mnottertail -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 6:05:31 PM)

Um, watch East of Eden, watch the Mongolian butcher the sheep alive----(not exit to eden)

There is far more to grace than knowing which fork you use to snort a maggot.

WuTangClan






CrazyC -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 6:06:33 PM)

I would agree with LA. Bellydancing and Yoga have been extremely helpful.

That...and knowing that i am a beautiful, graciful lady by nature.  That way i am not so busy trying to look a certain way, but rather busy being ME in a graceful way.




AquaticSub -> RE: elegance in serving (3/5/2007 6:07:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyC

That...and knowing that i am a beautiful, graciful lady by nature.  That way i am not so busy trying to look a certain way, but rather busy being ME in a graceful way.


Wonderfully said.




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