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behindmirrors -> RE: elegance in serving (3/7/2007 12:00:46 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mixielicous
so, THE QUESTION IS:
if your Master/Owner/Dom has had you working on this, what are some exercises He has you utilize, or that you have read about?
I have not received any training from my Dom in this, though I was trained in grace my entire life. I started in ballet at age 3 (and still dance), and going through 6 years of charm school (which, by the way, was really hard to tolerate as a kid), I have a wealth of ideas for you, and I hope they help. To warn you, this will be horribly long to read!
First off, I agree with Beth that dance, and especially ballet, will really help. Ballet dancers are taught some very important things about grace, because it is the basis behind the whole style of dance. Here's some of the more practical things I have learned from ballet:
- Graceful movement requires strength. Without strength, even the most delicate movement of an arm would not work. All your tomboy skills can come into play with this- think of channeling that strength and energy into how you hold your body up, how you move each limb, and in each motion you make. Feel how much strength it takes to be delicate and fluid in your movements.
- Good posture is the foundation for graceful movement. You need to find your "neutral" position through your torso, first things first. The best way I can describe this in words is that you want to envision your back like a string of pearls held at one end, unclasped. Each pearl should fall into a straight line. Start at your sternum, and feel it lift upwards- not like sticking your chest out, but like you are being pulled towards the ceiling by an invisible string. Make sure your shoulders stay pressed down the entire time, making your neck feel elongated, and holding your head high. Then think about your abs- your navel should feel slightly pulled towards your spine- but not uncomfortably sucked in. Think of trying to create as much length between your ribcage and your hipbones as you can- it's a lifted feeling. Your derriere should be pulled underneath you, but not pushing your hips forward. Use a mirror and try this, standing in a comfortable position with your legs.
- Ballet (and graceful movement) feel long to me. You are always trying to reach past the extension of your body and your limbs. It's a stretching where you're trying to extend two inches past how tall or extended you already are.
- Graceful movement is deliberate and fluid. It should feel like you're moving through peanut butter when you move- making each motion controlled, strong, and purposeful. Everything should feel connected together, even though each movement is separate- think of it as "suspending" a gesture before moving to the next one, much like a breath. One thing you can try is holding your arms, slightly curved by your sides but not touching them, and working on "breathing" the arms- moving them about three inches upwards, sustaining them for a moment, and then back down again. The movement should be leading with your elbow, and carried through down to your fingertips.
- The "finish" is really important. Think of extensions like I talked about before- where you're always trying to reach past your length by a few inches. That would reach through your fingers and your toes- otherwise, it looks like you have a dead fish attached to each of your limbs. Ballet extensions are "turned out"- where you are rotating your feet outwards through your hip joints- and the foot is slightly "winged" when extended and pointed- meaning you are using your ankle to slightly turn your toes out away from your heels, instead of making a straight line. With your hands, try this: take two coins (quarters work well), and put one in each hand on the place where your middle finger meets your palm. Use your thumb to keep the coin in place- this is teaching you the position ballet dancers use to make their hands look delicate and refined. Slightly extend your fingers, but keep them a little soft. Ideally, you learn to keep your thumb pulled slightly towards your palm, but not actually touching it. For me, this is so ingrained that I hold my hands that way automatically whenever I am not doing something with them.
- The best way to improve your grace is to work on it consistently. Your body does have a capacity for it, but it has to be instructed on what to do. Look at yourself, and look at videos of dancers or photographs. See how much energy they seem to exude in their movement- that's coming out of the extensions I talked about. Try to imitate what you appreciate about their movements- and adapt these things into your daily motions. When you grab something out of a high cupboard, stand on one foot and extend the other leg, and try to reach out of your body to get what you need. Feel yourself lifting up and out of your hips when you walk.
To me, the grace in movement is like a silent form of pride. You are showing, through careful action, that you are proud of your bearing and place, and that you are to be respected- but it's not an "in your face" pride, it's quiet and internal. It's not that you are not humble or that you don't have humility- it's that you have the ability to convey those things while being proud. Dance, and grace, are non-verbal art forms- try to portray how you are feeling through your positioning. I try to captivate intense beauty when I move, and pride behind that beauty. An interesting side effect is that when you get it, you will know it- because when you walk into a room with perfect posture and that silent pride and grace in your movements, everyone around you will stand up straighter, and you can see it. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s2.gif[/image] Don't shed your powerful persona- use it to your advantage here!
Once you start to get this stuff down, start seeping it into your daily activities. See how you can incorporate it. Treat everything you do like a dance, and be constantly aware of how you are moving and presenting yourself. The focus on your physical movements will teach you many things you may have never known about yourself, how your body feels and the way you relate to the world around you with your movement. It's as much a mental thing as a physical one- think about your grace, your strength, and your silent pride. Feel beautiful. Good luck.
Links to look at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xvmsqD_lC8 A YouTube Video about dance posture- about 5 minutes long and informative, very basic and step-by-step.
http://www.amazon.com/New-York-City-Ballet-Workout/dp/B000056MMR The New York City Ballet Workout- they have books and DVDs, this is for the first DVD. The book is beautiful, and very informative. I personally swear by this stuff, as it gives you exercises meant to lengthen and stretch your muscles as you develop strength and control.
And, some beautiful dancers who exemplify what I am talking about:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riHKAMGhuVw (an amateur in recital, but with lovely flow in her movements and very long extensions- and a very, very good amateur, by the way)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uz2Gp7a38DM (exquisite dancer, one of the best professionals of the day- watch her arms as she slowly moves them)
I hope all this helps, and let me know if there's anything you have questions about or would like to know. Best to you in developing extraordinary grace!
behindmirrors.
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