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RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/6/2007 7:48:44 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bacchas

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
I always find it interesting that when a question about gender arises people either reply primarily with answers about sex or about gender roles; very few actually discuss gender....

My question was litterly about gender. It appeared to me that females were more in demand making harder for me to find someone to play with. But then when I actually sat down and counted, and determined that it was about even with most people not carring one way or the other.

This thread pretty much reinforces my hypothosis and it appears I had a case of the "grass is greener" syndrome. Thanks people.

Except the word "females" isn't a gender word, it's a biological sex word.

Gender would be masculine, feminine, androgynous, neuter.

Gender role would be man, woman, boy, or girl.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to bacchas)

Post #: 21

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/6/2007 9:09:31 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

My sub is a masculine male

What exactly is a "masculine male." Is that some subset of the general male population? I kind of understand a "feminine" female, which sort of implies dresses, heels, makeup, and 1950ish values (or some such stereotype), but still "masculine male" and "feminine female" strike me as redundant descriptors.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 22

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/6/2007 9:13:42 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
What exactly is a "masculine male." Is that some subset of the general male population?

Actually, its a subset of the submissive male population. I prefer femenine males, whereas she prefers masculine ones. Masculine male is the opposite of the sissy types that are so common, as well as the forced femme, the CD and the TV.

If femenine female implys a standard of dress, then we can say masculine male is someone who dresses like a "real man". Rough and tumble, rugged and bristling with testosterone.

my 2 cents to clarify
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 23

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/6/2007 9:18:20 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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Actually, it was about sex, not gender. Basically...sex is whatcher born with, gender is what society turns you into. I think you were asking whether people want their subs with a penis or a vagina, right?

quote:

ORIGINAL: bacchas

My question was litterly about gender. It appeared to me that females were more in demand making harder for me to find someone to play with. But then when I actually sat down and counted, and determined that it was about even with most people not carring one way or the other.

(in reply to bacchas)

Post #: 24

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/6/2007 10:16:01 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I think it's threads like this one that make me sometimes realize I'm pursuing a quixotic prize in relationships when the ones I most identify with tend to be more interested in women than men. It often brings up the thought that perhaps vanilla really is where I should be looking for what I seek.

No D I don't think you should do that. I do think you should learn how you fit into those types. I've known/watched you a very long time. years and I think you would fit nicely in a woman poly family family serving two women. I really do. I'm not kidding.

Sounds great. Now finding that brings me back to square one.

_____________________________

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http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

Post #: 25

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/7/2007 6:39:30 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

My sub is a masculine male

What exactly is a "masculine male." Is that some subset of the general male population? I kind of understand a "feminine" female, which sort of implies dresses, heels, makeup, and 1950ish values (or some such stereotype), but still "masculine male" and "feminine female" strike me as redundant descriptors.

No.

Male and Female indicate biological sex.

Masculine and Feminine are gender.

Men and Women are gender roles.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 26

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/7/2007 7:04:50 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
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I prefer a fit younger female however we as a couple have owned male slaves...What ever floats your boat,with lots of hard work around here a hard working boy has his place here...Placed in Chastity and lives his life that way and as a reward every blue moon hes allow by his own hand to relive himself into glass and drink it for even his cum belongs to us and it would be disrespectful to dump it on the ground...bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 27

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/7/2007 7:14:08 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

Dear Tammyjo and Diurnal V,

Don't worry, I'll just pretend I understand everything.

Is Hillary Clinton Masculine because she's running for President of the USA?

Is a guy feminine if his girlfriend fucks him with a strap on?

Is it feminine or masculine to be adept in the kitchen?

Is it feminine or masculine to lift weights?

My wife regards me as primarily masculine whereas my Mistress regards me as feminine and claims I'm "the girl" in our relationship. (This has nothing to do w/clothes.)

In sum, from my POV, by not defining either "masculine" or "feminine" --- they become so overbroad and ambiguous as to become almost meaninglessness. Also, most people are too complicated to fit neatly into one or the other category. (As I see it.)

Just to play along though, I like masculine, hot women.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 28

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/7/2007 8:09:17 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I think it's threads like this one that make me sometimes realize I'm pursuing a quixotic prize in relationships when the ones I most identify with tend to be more interested in women than men. It often brings up the thought that perhaps vanilla really is where I should be looking for what I seek.

No D I don't think you should do that. I do think you should learn how you fit into those types. I've known/watched you a very long time. years and I think you would fit nicely in a woman poly family family serving two women. I really do. I'm not kidding.

Sounds great. Now finding that brings me back to square one.

This is what I find really odd about you. You have my yahoo messenger already so you're welcome to reply. It has been on my mind tho.

You talk about female supremacy and I know our views are very much in line, however I see you more active on general bdsm sites then I do on femdom sites. Why is that? I turned femsupreme into a free femdom community and I've seen you there once. I've always supported you but you rarely support me. Then you post what you post here wondering why you can't find what you're looking for. Have you ever considered that maybe subconsciously you’re sabotaging yourself? In all the years I’ve seen you around I hear the same thing come out of your mouth.

_____________________________

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 29

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/7/2007 8:10:18 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER

I prefer a fit younger female however we as a couple have owned male slaves...What ever floats your boat,with lots of hard work around here a hard working boy has his place here...Placed in Chastity and lives his life that way and as a reward every blue moon hes allow by his own hand to relive himself into glass and drink it for even his cum belongs to us and it would be disrespectful to dump it on the ground...bounty

Love it. Exactly how I feel.

_____________________________

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)

Post #: 30

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/7/2007 11:04:12 AM

TigressFL

Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline

I enjoy both males and females. I really enjoy the differences.

~TigressFL~

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 31

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/7/2007 4:26:37 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Dear Tammyjo and Diurnal V,

Don't worry, I'll just pretend I understand everything.

Is Hillary Clinton Masculine because she's running for President of the USA?

Is a guy feminine if his girlfriend fucks him with a strap on?

Is it feminine or masculine to be adept in the kitchen?

Is it feminine or masculine to lift weights?

My wife regards me as primarily masculine whereas my Mistress regards me as feminine and claims I'm "the girl" in our relationship. (This has nothing to do w/clothes.)

In sum, from my POV, by not defining either "masculine" or "feminine" --- they become so overbroad and ambiguous as to become almost meaninglessness. Also, most people are too complicated to fit neatly into one or the other category. (As I see it.)

Just to play along though, I like masculine, hot women.

When I use the term gender I'm thinking of two things.

Stereotypes of what masculinity and feminity are AND this wonderful gender identity test you can take to see if you are masculine, feminine, neuter or androgynous.

The test uses personality traits that are stereotypes of what is masculine and feminine in late 20th century western culture -- it wouldn't be of much value for a non-western person to take for example or someone from 400 years ago to take.

Masculine traits in this test are things like assertiveness, decision making skill, drive to protect, leadership, etc. Feminine traits in this test are things like nurturing, kindness, openness, being a follower or helper, etc.

You can see the stereotypes here, right?

High scores on the Masculine traits = masculine gender.

High scores on the Feminine traits = feminine gender

High scores on both sets = androgynous gender.

Low scores on both sets = neuter gender.

The person taking the test is not told which traits are which simply how highly do they assoicate said trait with themselves and then a professional pyschologist would score it.

I and a whole group of friends first took it back in college and I've taken it a few years ago with Tom and Fox.

I always come out androgynous and so does Fox; Tom tends to come out neuter.

All I know is that I really dislike those stereotypes of what is masculine and feminity, what is the ideal man or woman. Both annoy me almost equally.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 32

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/7/2007 8:20:57 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bacchas

I doesn't appear this forum has a poll option (or I'm just missing it), so I offer up this question in an informal manner.

If you're going to play with a submissive/slave, does the person's gender matter to you and if so what is your preference?

humm at this stage I prefer male submissives, but that could change one day.
If it was just for play, no the gender would not matter. hehehehe

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to bacchas)

Post #: 33

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/7/2007 8:29:41 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I would agree, Cloud, that not everyone fits into one gender role or another. But in general, we mostly undertant the implications if a guy si masculine or femenine, and if a woman is. You have a mental picture of each, which is what we are working with. I prefer the stereotypical femenine looking person in general. I prefer my males to be effeminate in appearance, to be very gentle and soft spoken and to have traits of a stereotypical female.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 34

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/8/2007 12:09:52 AM

firefey

Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline

to put it another way, sex is which bitz you've got and gender is how those bits are viewed and related to by others while sexuality is how you and your bitz relate with both you and others.

i am female (got girl bitz) with masciline/androgynous traits (i tend to be the agressor but am also hostessy and nurturing) and i'm bisexual.

who do i like for partners? e) all of the above. i like males, females, feminine men, masculine women, boys, bois, girls and gurls. right now i'm seeking a girl pet since that is what will best fit into my life and lifstyle. but a boy could be good fun too.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 35

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/8/2007 1:31:34 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

Can play with anyone playful of either gender, but prefer male gender for relationships.

Current partner looks incredibly masculine, has a very macho job and hobbies but cross dresses. He loves his feminine side. I don't know how to label that!!

I like to play with other "Mistresses" (often switches) with me leading and my male sub submitting to both. These girls get crushes on me from time to time......but as a straight woman, I don't lead them on. I have made the mistake of toying with the affections of lesbian/bi women in the past and it only ends up hurting them unfairly

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 3/8/2007 1:33:43 AM >

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to firefey)

Post #: 36

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/8/2007 5:57:04 AM

skareamoos

Posts: 46
Joined: 5/13/2005
Status: offline

They all like to play until we get old. (SULK)

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 37

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 3/15/2007 5:18:53 PM

BlackSakura

Posts: 131
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

The term gender identity is used to distinguish a social role and/or personal identity that is distinct from biological sex. This is how a person feels on the inside.

The term gender role is used to signify all those things that a person says or does to disclose himself or herself as having the status of boy or man, girl or woman, respectively. "Masculine" and "feminine" are adjectives usually used to describe a person's demeanor, or gender role.

The term sex is used to describe a person's biological gender. Here is where I think some confusion arises. "Male" and "female" are used to describe both gender identity and sex. Although they're being used correctly, there still remains a bit of ambiguity in conversation.

For example, I am a male to female transgender who happens to be feminine. This means that my biological sex is male. My gender identity, however, is female and my demeanor is feminine. The way in which I present myself to the world as well as how I feel inside is female. You can think of it as having a man's body and a woman's brain!

Gender is a rainbow. Another example, my friend Simon is a female to male transsexual who is more feminine. His appearance is very masculine but his demeanor is more feminine.

As for me, I like subs of the male gender identity and male sex and are masculine.

(in reply to skareamoos)

Post #: 38

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 4/19/2007 6:20:10 AM

whipingherfeet

Posts: 202
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

a slave girl

(in reply to bacchas)

Post #: 39

RE: What gender sub do you prefer? - 4/19/2007 6:32:44 AM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I do not enjoy "play". My role in bdsm consists within the realm of a relationship. Even if I choose not to have intercourse with a submissive, I still need to feel attracted to him. Women as wonderful as we are, just don't do it for me.

I prefer a male who looks like a male. I find more power in looking down and seeing the epitome of physical strength and masculinity (though not too hairy) on his knees at my feet, even if he may be wearing panties. Go figure!

(in reply to Jasmyn)

Post #: 40

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