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Please help - 3/7/2007 6:50:16 AM   
subintraining13


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am new to this lifestyle and i have my first master now. But i am desperate to get some advise. We are together now for 1 month and not in a 24/7 relationship and both agreed on that. He was very patient and understanding until i made a mistake. I lied to him and he found out about it. Since that time he has set some demands for me.
All of them i would follow without hesitation, except one. To wear a butt pluck everyday, even when i sleep, go to work, until he sees me next. He did not say when that would be. I have never had anal sex or anything else to do with that, we talk about this in the beginning. So my master would be aware of this. Well i did as i was instructed but even after only one hour was in pain and very upset. I wrote my master a letter and telling him of my distress and conserns i have. The answer was, i have to wear it but not at work and with steady increase in hours of wearing it. Until i can wear it for 24 hours straight.
To my questions:
Is prolongt wearing a butt pluck harmful to me ?
I don't feel anything but pain and discompfort, is that normal ?
Do people find it exciting and get aroused by this ? Is is normal that i don't
Do you think i should again talk to my master and asked him to relief me of my task ?
I don't want to disobey my master but i am afraid i can not do that for a prolongt time.
Thank you for reading my post and i would like to add that any advise would be great.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 6:54:42 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		i definitely think that you should discuss this with him and let him know that you'd be more comfortable approaching anal on a gradual level. i don't know for sure whether prolonged wear is harmful (i've only ever worn one for hours at a time, never a full day), but it is normal to feel some pain and discomfort. it depends on the circumstances; some people get aroused, some don't. it throws up red flags to me that he is so eager to jump into anal as punishment after one month of being in a relationship without ever building you up to that.

(in reply to subintraining13)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 7:28:15 AM   
MsParados


Posts: 183
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline 		Is prolongt wearing a butt pluck harmful to me ?
It can be. what size are you using and how often are you lubing it up during that time?
I don't feel anything but pain and discompfort, is that normal ?
If you are using to big a size or not enough lube than yes that would be normal to hurt so much when you are first starting anal training.
Do people find it exciting and get aroused by this ? Is is normal that i don't
yes some get aroused by this but that doesn't make it right or wrong that you don't. Thats why your you and not them.
Do you think i should again talk to my master and asked him to relief me of my task ?
I think you ya should slow it down a bit (jmho) If you feel this isn't working than I would explore the issues.
I don't want to disobey my master but i am afraid i can not do that for a prolongt time.
perspective. a month? relax.

Also is he, himself new to this? When we first start out, no matter what side D or s there is this frantic urge to finallyinleash all those desires and fantasies that we have been creating u untill that point. I personally think that such extensive anal penetration so early on is dangerous. You do not want to upset the sphincter, it is an unforgiving muscle and once damaged, with out surgery, may never be the same again. The ass is designed to expell things not hold them in and from what I hear living with a spastic colon is no fun.

(in reply to subintraining13)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 7:29:50 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I don't agree with hisannabelle.
I think this is the exact thing that the Master should do if he's a good man.
1-He knows she's not into butt plugs or anal contact so it will make her as uncomfortable as her lying to him made him feel
I think based on her note this was a perfect punishment to fit the crime.
2- When she called him in distress after dealing with it a little bit and he revised from 24/7 to taking time and building up to being able to do 24/7 he indeed changed his punishment based on her not being experienced or emotionally able to do as he'd ordered.
That again showed me he's behaving as an honorable, but firm Master.
IMO as this thing offends and assaults her rectum she should remember how much lying to her Sir offended him and set her heart on not doing that again or this will happen to her again in some uncomfortable fashion of punishment.
My kudos actually goes out to him.

As far as you dear sub,
I've heard your rectal canal does not generate it's own lubricant like your vagina does. Prolonged insertions tend to get painfully dry and some of the toys depending on how porous can stick the toy to the wall of your bowel.
I've heard you're supposed to lube the thing and plug it back in when you use the restroom throughout the day on a schedule sort of like how you'd change a tampon regularly to help it be more comfortable to keep it in there.
Maybe the day you do this you should do a small enema in the morning to not cause feces conflicts for space or hygiene issues too.
I too am not fond of or very experienced in anal play so I really have no personal advice.
Good luck to you sub, I know you'll make it through this training lesson with flying colors somehow if you truly want to learn and think this is the man to learn from.
suzanne

(in reply to subintraining13)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 7:33:13 AM   
MsParados


Posts: 183
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline 		I've heard your rectal canal does not generate it's own lubricant like your vagina does. Prolonged insertions tend to get painfully dry and some of the toys depending on how porous can stick the toy to the wall of your bowel.
I've heard you're supposed to lube the thing and plug it back in when you use the restroom throughout the day on a schedule sort of like how you'd change a tampon regularly to help it be more comfortable to keep it in there.
Maybe the day you do this you should do a small enema in the morning to not cause feces conflicts for space or hygiene issues too.

Spot on advice suzanne, not bad for someone not "into" anal.

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 8:14:46 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subintraining13

I am new to this lifestyle and i have my first master now. But i am desperate to get some advise. We are together now for 1 month and not in a 24/7 relationship and both agreed on that. He was very patient and understanding until i made a mistake. I lied to him and he found out about it. Since that time he has set some demands for me.
All of them i would follow without hesitation, except one. To wear a butt pluck everyday, even when i sleep, go to work, until he sees me next. He did not say when that would be. I have never had anal sex or anything else to do with that, we talk about this in the beginning. So my master would be aware of this. Well i did as i was instructed but even after only one hour was in pain and very upset. I wrote my master a letter and telling him of my distress and conserns i have. The answer was, i have to wear it but not at work and with steady increase in hours of wearing it. Until i can wear it for 24 hours straight.
To my questions:
Is prolongt wearing a butt pluck harmful to me ?

Only if you try to wear one too large or try to force it in.

quote:


I don't feel anything but pain and discompfort, is that normal ?

Yes. I experienced pain and discomfort only when I started my anal training. With plugs I'm up to only mild discomfort.
quote:


Do people find it exciting and get aroused by this ? Is is normal that i don't

Some people do. I do. It doesn't matter what is normal, it just matters what turns you or doesn't you on.
quote:


Do you think i should again talk to my master and asked him to relief me of my task ?

I think you should talk to him about it. Mine tend to come out unless I'm sitting directly on them so I don't want to wear them out of the house.
quote:


I don't want to disobey my master but i am afraid i can not do that for a prolongt time.
Thank you for reading my post and i would like to add that any advise would be great.


Well, if you are going to disobey I would advise being honest about it. Frankly I wouldn't advise it, it's never a good thing to be doing but I've found people get more annoyed when lied to.

The only real worry with a butt plug, in my opinion, is that they come out. And things get messy. Really messy. Also you will need to add lube throughout the day. You should talk to him about sleeping. It will probably come out and if it has contact with your genitals that could get really bad.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/7/2007 8:19:22 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to subintraining13)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 10:18:41 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		No offense but the master sounds like a complete wanker to me.  Partly for the reasons stated about long term wearing of a butt plug but mainly about the punishment.  What the fuck does it have to do with not lying.  If the guy wasn't into anal sex I might get it but I will bet a box of stale dougnuts the guy gets her to talk about anal sex all the time while they have phone sex.

If someone lies to you especially a newbie it is most likely because they were afraid.  Scaring them with punishment isn't the way to go, you want to reasure them they can tell you anything.

(in reply to subintraining13)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 10:41:03 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		after reviewing your profile--------------LOLOLOLOL.

You were lucky he didn't require a harp or a chicken be ensconced in your hershey highway.......

Both can be plucked.

Col. Sanders

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to subintraining13)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 12:30:09 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Try a smaller butt plug

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to subintraining13)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 1:15:28 PM   
Artsslave


Posts: 24
Joined: 3/1/2007
Status: offline 		i'm mixed in all this. i agree whole heartedly with onestandingstill, in the fact that this is a punishment. It's not meant to be pleasing to you, or to turn you on. i also send out my kudos to your Dom, especially since he did adjust his punishment when you talked to him about the problems you were facing. He may be taking out two birds with one stone. By punishing you, and by also training you for something that may be more pleasant down the road. Only he really knows, and i would hope he knows what he's doing and not just playing the role.

However, i also agree that maybe he doesn't fully understand what this is doing to you. Punishment and abuse can sometimes come very close together. (Is his name Bruce by chance?) Some women take to this sort of thing easier than others. And of course, the more you fight and dwell on the discomfort of it, the worse it will be for you. But real harm can come of this, especially if you start to resent the power exchange.

As mentioned earlier, are you maybe using a plug that's too big for you? Also, and i know this doesn't come up too often, but what KIND of plug are you using? i found that it was less discomfort when i was first learning to use a plug that narrowed significantly at the base (Some stay wide at the end). This allows for your anus to close around the plug, wich helps hold it in and makes it less irritating to your body. (If you want to talk to me about my training experience, maybe i can give you some tips to make it easier? Email me if that's the case)

Your best bet is to talk to him again and really help him understand your pain. But you have to do it in a respectful manner. If you go whining and crying, he's less likely to listen. And i think you should tell him that you're considering disobeying him because you strongly feel you can't do what he's asking of you. Maybe he found a limit for you?

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 1:32:06 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I think this is a little excessive punishment.  Yes you lied to him but the punishment i do not think fits the "crime".   You are not experienced in anal and your Master knows this so i think he is being very harsh.  I see a big red flag waving.

Matt's littleone


(in reply to Artsslave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 1:35:04 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		~fr~
Perhaps the dominant op isn't ready for a Master.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 1:37:33 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, she seems to have an abundance of pluck.  That's kinda what I thought Katy---

I bet azzmaster there.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 1:46:32 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

i'm mixed in all this. i agree whole heartedly with onestandingstill, in the fact that this is a punishment. It's not meant to be pleasing to you, or to turn you on. i also send out my kudos to your Dom, especially since he did adjust his punishment when you talked to him about the problems you were facing. He may be taking out two birds with one stone. By punishing you, and by also training you for something that may be more pleasant down the road. Only he really knows, and i would hope he knows what he's doing and not just playing the role.


By punishing her ass he is going to teach her to associate anything BUT pleasure with her it.  It's great he adjusted the punishment but only an idiot would have done it that way in the first place.

I swear to got this place is going to drive me into writing a frigging S&M book on relationships.  Someone else can write the chapter on how not to be an asshole though.

(in reply to Artsslave)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 2:46:11 PM   
xxxWENCHxxx


Posts: 45
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		subintraining 13 >>>>

i also agree with onestandingstill .... you are being justly punished for lying, lying is like a betrayal to a Master ....
He is behaving accordingly by humiliation as He feels humiliated by the lie ....

i learned this the hard way .... i chatted with another He had told me not to and tried to lie my way out of .... not very smart .... i paid the price for it for weeks .... it is better now that i have been obedient and He has access to all my accounts ... it is much better to hide nothing and be open than hide and be in fear and sick about it ...

i currently have a butt plug and do wear it 24/7 now, to go without it is now the punishment as i have grown accustomed to it now .... in fact, it is time to increase the size as my Master so ordered and it will be done without complaint ....

but this Master/slave dynamic between U/us works and is not for everyone ....  and everyone else's answers also are valid answers ....

good luck to you little sister ... E/everyone is always here should you be in need of our experiences ....



_____________________________

"Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes."

DEJA MOO ... the feeling Y/you've heard this bull somewhere before !!!

"Chaos, panic and disorder .... my work here is done."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 3:01:20 PM   
givemyall


Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		MMmm well, being a woman that doesnt tend to mix her words, I would tell him quite simply to stick it up his own arse for 24 hours a day.  As people have already said, the punishment doesn't fit the crime and one wonders what his next little brainstorm will be.  I could be very wrong but I have a feeling that if you face up to this guy he will run a mile.

There are some nice genuine Masters out there that will understand that you are new to the lifestyle and guide you with the correct training, so why stick with one that you feel you have to lie to, its all about respect and after reading about the lies and the form of punishment, I would say that there is little of that between you.

Sorry to sound so blunt, but its just my opinion.

(in reply to subintraining13)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 3:14:29 PM   
SimplySubmissive


Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline 		quote]ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

i'm mixed in all this. i agree whole heartedly with onestandingstill, in the fact that this is a punishment. It's not meant to be pleasing to you, or to turn you on. i also send out my kudos to your Dom, especially since he did adjust his punishment when you talked to him about the problems you were facing. He may be taking out two birds with one stone. By punishing you, and by also training you for something that may be more pleasant down the road. Only he really knows, and i would hope he knows what he's doing and not just playing the role.


By punishing her ass he is going to teach her to associate anything BUT pleasure with her it.  It's great he adjusted the punishment but only an idiot would have done it that way in the first place.

I swear to got this place is going to drive me into writing a frigging S&M book on relationships.  Someone else can write the chapter on how not to be an asshole though.


Please, we could use a book about relationships and D/s. Some people, new perhaps, have this beleif that the D/s is the relationship.. that there isn't anything else to worry about. There are still 2 (or more) people whol have real feelings, needs, wants, and all relationships require work.  
I want to know if the op and her Master have met? or is this online?
Lies can break a relationship. Just as she must trust him, he must trust her.
They both need to figure out why the lie happened, and how to prevent it from happening again. Then perhaps a really long essay about honesty? hmmm hate those!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 3:59:44 PM   
Zsuzsanna


Posts: 108
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I don't agree with hisannabelle.
I think this is the exact thing that the Master should do if he's a good man.
1-He knows she's not into butt plugs or anal contact so it will make her as uncomfortable as her lying to him made him feel
I think based on her note this was a perfect punishment to fit the crime.
2- When she called him in distress after dealing with it a little bit and he revised from 24/7 to taking time and building up to being able to do 24/7 he indeed changed his punishment based on her not being experienced or emotionally able to do as he'd ordered.
That again showed me he's behaving as an honorable, but firm Master.
IMO as this thing offends and assaults her rectum she should remember how much lying to her Sir offended him and set her heart on not doing that again or this will happen to her again in some uncomfortable fashion of punishment.
My kudos actually goes out to him.

As far as you dear sub,
I've heard your rectal canal does not generate it's own lubricant like your vagina does. Prolonged insertions tend to get painfully dry and some of the toys depending on how porous can stick the toy to the wall of your bowel.
I've heard you're supposed to lube the thing and plug it back in when you use the restroom throughout the day on a schedule sort of like how you'd change a tampon regularly to help it be more comfortable to keep it in there.
Maybe the day you do this you should do a small enema in the morning to not cause feces conflicts for space or hygiene issues too.
I too am not fond of or very experienced in anal play so I really have no personal advice.
Good luck to you sub, I know you'll make it through this training lesson with flying colors somehow if you truly want to learn and think this is the man to learn from.
suzanne


Ya know suzanne, at first when you said that you didn't agree with hisannabelle, I was wondering why because I was totally nodding my head to her post. But now that I have read yours, I am in agreement with you.  It does sound logical when you put it that way.

_____________________________

"Somewhere Ralphie smiles and says enjoy her every cry." Tori Amos

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 4:08:02 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

There are some nice genuine Masters out there that will understand that you are new to the lifestyle and guide you with the correct training, so why stick with one that you feel you have to lie to, its all about respect and after reading about the lies and the form of punishment, I would say that there is little of that between you.


This not so "nice" and somewhat "genuine" Master would be hard pressed not to release you.

Being "lied" to is one of my hard limits. If there is a hard limit that tops it, soliciting advice from others before or while I was in the process of addressing your concerns expressed in a letter you sent, would be number 1.

The only qualifier or exception to those hard limits would be if I handed you, being "new to this lifestyle", the plug and said; "Here put this in and keep it there." without any further information, training, goal, or instruction on what to do in the event of something in the nature of what occurred.  But that doesn't seem the case. He heard you, made an adjustment, but because it wasn't what you wanted to hear, or were comfortable in doing, you ask strangers.

You aren't in training to those on this board. It doesn't seem as if he referred you here to advance your education or understanding. You've turned your life over to someone to the level of calling him Master yet you are here, "desperate to get some advice". It makes it appear as if your Master isn't your first and best choice for advice. If that's the case why listen or follow anything he requires of you as training? 

I guess you'll bring him the advice you like the best and suggest it to him. Should we expect a thread in the Master's section asking what to do to a slave who behaved as you did?

(in reply to givemyall)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Please help - 3/7/2007 4:13:11 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxxWENCHxxx

subintraining 13 >>>>

i also agree with onestandingstill .... you are being justly punished for lying, lying is like a betrayal to a Master ....
He is behaving accordingly by humiliation as He feels humiliated by the lie ....

i learned this the hard way .... i chatted with another He had told me not to and tried to lie my way out of .... not very smart .... i paid the price for it for weeks .... it is better now that i have been obedient and He has access to all my accounts ... it is much better to hide nothing and be open than hide and be in fear and sick about it ...

i currently have a butt plug and do wear it 24/7 now, to go without it is now the punishment as i have grown accustomed to it now .... in fact, it is time to increase the size as my Master so ordered and it will be done without complaint ....

but this Master/slave dynamic between U/us works and is not for everyone ....  and everyone else's answers also are valid answers ....

good luck to you little sister ... E/everyone is always here should you be in need of our experiences ....




Your master does realize that wearing them  24/7 and continually upping size could result in you having to wear diapers 24/7 right?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to xxxWENCHxxx)
Profile   Post #: 20
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