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RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 1:47:20 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

and the entire profile is filled with otherworldly poetry, and at the end, it says no one liners---

or it says I don't know what I am looking for, but I have green eyes.

And they expect War and Peace-----

(that's right folks, you saw it here first, I'm with Mike on this one.)

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 21

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 2:27:49 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Judging by the number of emails I get, I'd say a number of things could be true;
1) Males are primarily visual
2) A high proportion of males are visually impaired
3) The level of visual impairment is sufficient to render them incapable of reading a profile

To be fair though, maybe given my circumstances, I really dont mind getting a few suggestive emails from time to time, as long as theyre not vulgar; its almost a compliment after all!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 22

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 2:39:59 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

What is amusing and ironic to me about this behavior is that
most male subs like being objectified and treated like a
sex object. They finally feel valued and wanted. So I do
think it part of the miscommunication is the "Men are from
Mars, Women are from Venus" patterns. (chuckles)

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 23

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 2:40:44 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Let's be honest, we are on a fairly sex related site (and the parts that aren't will never be understood by those who think it's all about them getting off), so i think it's par for the course to get those mails. Response for me is based on my mood, as usual. Compliments are nice, rudeness is not whether it's about body parts or not.

It's the comments i get like that from total strangers who im me on yahoo or something because we live in the same town, state etc that get to me really.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 24

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 2:40:48 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I get them and I have nothing close to a nude or even fetish pic in my profile. It irritates me but I like to think of it as better know now than find out later what their true motivations are.

I love getting compliments that are respectful, though. Or even ones that are funny. But the obviously disrespectful ones treating me like a sex object I just delete and ignore.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 25

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 2:46:57 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

This type of behavior is one of the 2 main reasons I do not post
photographs of myself. The other is to protect the privacy of
my family.

Like many of the other ladies here, my breasts are larger and attract unwanted attention.
A compliment is fine. Telling me what to do with them is not.
And the guys who want to cyber and jerk off can go find a pay per view site.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 26

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 3:03:46 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

I love compliments, but not if that is all there is in the contact.
I've begun conversations with people who had nothing more to say than "nice picture", or "love your legs." I get bored, and recuse myself from the conversation very quickly if that is all he has to say though, much like if all he wants to talk about is strap ons. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I would hope anyone who contacts me has an interest in the person. That he may find the person interesting because of how I look/dress/behave is added bonus, and I don't mind a little shallowness at all. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 27

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 3:31:26 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

Why display your breasts then complain about the attention?

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 28

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 3:43:25 PM

azzmaster

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

attendedkarma ur being a little... uhhh.... cranky don't u think... not hijacking anything at all, but instead of complaining i m offering a pertinant insight here, let me be more specific since u did't get it. people can be attracted to u as a sex object but in the end its on u to have the personality to make them realize u r much more than that

i might add that i think one of the nicest things about internet networking sites, like myspace to which i belong, where people post comments on pix, is that very average or sub average looking people can get mad compliments on their pix, gettin attention they would neva have gotten before. i think it does their ego good and makes them less likely to be resentful of others. there truly is someone for everyone. few people want to b sex objects but most people want to be seen as sexy,handsome, or pretty

(in reply to Attendedkarma)

Post #: 29

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 3:46:05 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

You do have big breasts, you know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

What are your feelings on the subject?

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 30

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 3:50:47 PM

asubmissiveheart

Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

yes they are lovely, I have just been looking at them myself :)

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 31

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 4:17:26 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I take simply compliments on what I look like (which I don't think is so clear in my photo on here) as a simly compliment.

If there are details I don't like I consider it a gift in that it tells me almost immediately that that person is not an appropriate person to add to my household.

Recently I rewrote my profile into a series of questions about things I think are important for anyone wanting to join my household. I've had a few comments about it, all positive or at least "I got half them 'yes'" or "I answered most of them 'yes' except for X". I reread my other description of what I wanted and thought it was too vague. I hope the questions get folks thinking about how complex being in my household would be and thus stop some clueless or rude emails based solely on the fantasy of "she's looking for a bisexual slave".

My point is that if we put anything up online we need to be aware that we lose control of anyone else's reactions to it. At that point we can only control how we react to them or change what we put up.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 32

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 4:18:59 PM

CoyoteWhips

Posts: 45
Joined: 9/11/2006
From: Fitchburg, Mass.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I had an amatuer porn site for a while. What made me stop doing it wasn't that I got uncomfortable with doing it, but that I got angry about 1) all my "fans" assuming that since they found me sexy, I must want to sleep with them and 2) having to feed their fantasy in order to keep them as "fans". That wasn't why I signed up to do the porn!

Asking with the most respectful intention -- what reaction had you hoped for?

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 33

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 4:20:54 PM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

here's an interesting point to ponder. why post a nude or near-nude pic if those that post them don't wish to hear shallow...maybe even complimentary...replies?

i find it odd that, those who post these pics are surprised to get those time of emails...it's like on Jerry Springer...LOL

~Claps her lil paws....~ so very true....

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 34

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 5:37:49 PM

DianeB269

Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

It can be funny too. I get shit like "i love your ass" or "please let me lick your ass all over"
Male subs and dom can be pretty damn stupid sometimes.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 35

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 6:00:40 PM

azzmaster

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

while if people post a provocative pic thy may want to excite some people, i think some messages that women have shown me that guys sent them were really really nasty over the top as far as how they put their desires. When i see a woman dressed sexy in the street i assume she wants attention, but i don't assume its necessarily me she wants it from. if she appeals to me i will say something about how pretty she looks and see what response follows. if she looks interested i will keep talking but never make a direct sexual suggestion, its just tacky.if she doesn't answer i don't say a thing, yet i have seen men i know get irate when a woman didn't respond to a pretty crude overature and start yellin stuff like " bitch ur not all that fine" and alot worse. i just think its sane to approach someone politely if u want a postive response. i sometimes email things to people on here thay may find rude, but if i do i m not trying to initiate contact or a relationship.

(in reply to DianeB269)

Post #: 36

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 6:16:18 PM

fergus

Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Here's the rub, many Dommes' profiles talk about how they want to treat male subs like objects as well (sexual or otherwise).

Whenever you treat someone like an object and not like a person you are robbing them of their basic human dignity. This can happen NOT ONLY by treating them like a worthless thing, but also by putting htem on a pedastle. Makes a person into NOT a person, but an image. And that is a very dehumanizing experience. So many come into this lifestyle (ot seems to me) wanting an ideal and not a person. While that can be good for a little short -term NSA play, it certainly is not good for ANY sort of relationship.

Regardless of the roles we may choose, they do no, and never will, define all of us, all of who we are. If we always approach each other with recognition of our basic human dignity, we will receive that respect in kind.

Some have been so emotionally beat up (TOP and bottoms alike) that they do not even understand that they or others HAVE dignity, but they do!

We all do, and it is never something someone else can take from us. It is only something we can voluntarily give up.

If you approach someone who does not realize that they are a dignified being, they will not understand that they have it inherently - but treat them as if they do all the same.

fergus

(in reply to azzmaster)

Post #: 37

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 6:24:05 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Well as a slave it goes both ways. When i was seeking, getting cock pics or telling me how hard I made them just turned me off. To me it just tells me they don't take it seriously and to move on. It is annoying.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 38

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 8:08:44 PM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

I think it is interesting that so many people have commented that pictures displaying beautiful breasts are an invitation to crude comments. While certainly the beautiful breasts are depicted and can be commented on, I don't think that the OP was saying ANY attention was unwarranted. It is simply rude to phrase your comments in a demeaning, objectifying way. Basically, it would be nice if we said things online that we would say in person. Generally speaking, in real life you might tell a stranger that they looked beautiful or that you liked their outfit, but not that they were so hot you wanted to f*** them right there on the sidewalk. Nor would you expose yourself to them. So the unsolicited, bizarre comments and naked pictures are what most object to.

I have told people that their picture was sexy, but I generally make it clear that I am not soliciting anything, just giving a justified compliment. I am polite and have never received any negative feedback. In fact, people often write back with thanks for the compliment or telling me where they got the corset I admired, etc.

I think it is far more about the phrasing and intention than actually about the the comments on breasts.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 39

RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 3/7/2007 8:34:46 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

How many of you are annoyed by subs who write to you with comments about how beautiful your breasts are or how horny your photos make them? I usually just roll my eyes, but occasionally it does annoy me. I am not a male playtoy or sex object and never will be. When men tell me how sexy they find me (other than hubby, who is allowed) I tell them that is their problem, not mine. I demand normal respect and restraint from strangers, male or female. Just because I am a Dominant Woman and may wear corsets and such does not mean I am sexually promiscuous or welcome crass comments.

And if a male can't manage to keep that in mind, and feels he must comment upon my large breasts, I find it needful to comment that the bulge in his pants looks awful small. That usually ends in a conversation about judging people by "size." Funny how they have to have their nose rubbed in the irony of complaining that I judged them on something that isn't their fault, when they just did the same to me. *shakes head* They also don't get the fact that a respectful sub would never press his opinions upon a stranger in such a rude way. *sighs*

What are your feelings on the subject? Do you ever find being told that you are sexy, that you have lovely breasts/ass/whatever-part-they-jerk-off-to annoying? Do you ever feel the subs who make such comments are treating you like a sex object?

It used to bother me a bit.. but as I'm growing older.. I kind of like to know I still "got it" :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 40

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