BeachMystress
Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
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Let me start with petdave.. As my most successful (he always has a Domme. He loses one and has another within a month) ex subs used to say, with women, you have to go north to get south. What he meant by that is that to catch a woman's interest and get to what most men want (the southern part of her body) the man must engage the woman's brain (the north.) He spends a lot of time trying to explain this to other men, so they can also "catch" women this way.
And I will tell you it works. Every sub who has ever been successful with me has not started out by talking about my body or my Dominance, but about things that peaked my intellectual interest or that I enjoy. Those things range from woman to woman, but on a site like this where we often tell you on our profiles what we like and don't like, you guys have it simple. Rather than writing a woman the way you guys want to hear things (and yes, I know you've already figured it out.. this is for those other guys who haven't) find something on her profile that fits something you like. Do you love roller coasters and she loves roller coasters? Who cares that her photo is showing leg or ass or tit.. write to her about roller coasters. Tell her what the best roller coaster you've ever been on is and ask her which one she likes best. Or if she loves to cook, share your favorite recipe. Treat us like people! NOT sex objects.
While I'm not sure if fergus was talking about male subs and their dignity or objectifying Domme, heryesruponyou took from it one of the main things that bothers me about being greeted as a pair of tits or legs- or worse, as a goddess. I am a person, not their fantasy. When they greet me as an object, they are considering only themselves and what I can do for them. They are not looking to submit to me but to use me as an interchangeable cog in their fantasy. I could be ANY Dominant Woman. I could even be a blow up doll. (And yes, I have seen a submale serve a blow up doll.) I do not matter. As I often say, I am not life support for a strap on/whip/their-favorite-toy. If a sub gets excited about my "Dominant Nature" before he really gets to know me or can not tell me why he wants to serve ME as opposed to any other Domme, I find it insulting.
And, I am not just talking about the photo that is my avatar here. I get these comments on other sites as well. As a matter of fact, the majority of mails I get on this 'sex related site" (Strangely enough I do not see BDSM as sex, but power, but I guess each has their own expectation) are 98% positive and respectful. Some of those other sites do not even have a photo of ME on them. I've had men write and tell me how gorgeous I was, when the photo displayed was my husband's cock (http://profiles.yahoo.com/beach_and_toy) As a tried and true smart ass, I write them back commending them on their taste and tell them that I too think my husband has a beautiful cock and understand how my it can turn men bi or even gay.. and that they are welcome to view more of it at http://beachmystress.femdommesociety.com/dommephotoalbum.php
quote:
ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox
But what woman doesnt want hear she is hot or sexy???
Apparently I don't. And from other responses on the board, it seems that women may wish more to be treated as people than bits of meat. Being complimented is wonderful and very welcomed, but having some guy say "nice tits" is demeaning. You aren't a person; you're his fantasy wank off material. You've no value in his eyes other than what the visual of your body can do for him the next time he pulls his pud. I understand that you may not see a difference between compliment and a "nice tits" type of comment, but I do and do not appreciate men directing such at me. Perhaps the difficulty in understanding each other here is that you are a sub and are fine with objectification. I am a Dominant and do not care to be objectified.
quote:
ORIGINAL: azzmaster
thor gets treated like a sex object sometimes... but subs soon learm there is more 2 azzmaster than a handsome face and a huge dick
Don't worry azz, I'll make sure to tell them, as they line up naked at your feet, eyes on your huge dick, that you can recite poetry and tap dance as well.....
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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/
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RE: Being treated like a sex object? - 
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