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Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 6:30:33 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		In the context of our Dominant or Submissive natures there can be a compatiability with private life and work life or an incompatiability

IE
... the Submissive that is Senior Manger.
... the Dominant that is a Waiter
... the Submissive that is a Customer Service Rep
... the Dominant that is a Department Manger


Each example and many more situations express a compatiability or incompatiability.  I wonder of each person's situation and what issues are particular to your given situation. 

I myself am the Operations Supervisor for a given Territory.  All employees of my given department report to me and all other departments in the territory have an indirect reporting to me.  In essense, my work life is very comparable to my private life in that I have significant authority.  My own personal issue deal with more of the overload issue.  In my work position very much like my private life.. I am on call 24/7.  Meaning... that someone somewhere will call me for my decisions on a variety of issues.  For Example... last night I was in bed at 9pm.. before midnight I had 4 calls and the last one required me to get up and go out into the field until 2 pm the next day.  This type of demands on my time is not on common.  The issue is balancing this with the demands that exist for me privately.  My girls and family are indeed my priority.  I have found that because of my work life.. establishing rigid schedules are doomed to fail.  In fact, it is almost neccessary that my girls and family learn to adapt and deal with change.  My work culture is to embrace change and it is something that I am bringing into my relationship dynamics.

Lastly, I love what I am doing... both work life and private life.  Even when I feel over loaded... I just have to remind myself that I am the Boss.. and I can take the time I need to get re-energized.  I have in the past work positions and jobs that was not nearly as compatiable to my private life as it is now.  It is recently that I have come to realize that it was to some extent the incompatiablity of those past positions that I was not happy in some of my work.  In my work and in my private life... I find my general happiness to be greater when I have AND exercise the authority that I am empowered with.


So... what about you?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 6:46:28 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		At my workplace, I am an Inventory Manager.  However, that doesn't really describe what all I do.

While I 'do' handle a lot of the facets of the inventory (and no, I'm not really saying what kind of inventory), I also handle the following tasks:

I handle the display of the inventory in such a way that customers might find the inventory pleasing.  Sometimes I do this alone, but if it's too much for me to handle myself I'll ask for help.  There have been times I've had my own subordinate to assist, but right now my department is just me.

When I get work to do, such as new inventory, I generate work for up to 3 other departments.  So, I'm the Department of Labor.

I work in an industry where integrity and honesty are at a premium, and I am generally recognized as being someone that can be trusted implicitly.  If there's money to be transported, collected, or anything that involves an errand that has to be done right, I get the call.

Because of the above, I try to schedule my errands for the end of the day, or else I'd never be around when I need to work.  I work very hard at the beginning of the day so I can be at the bank moments prior to their closing.  I live near where the bank is, which is 25 miles from work.  Rather than run around back and forth, I simply go home once I'm done with the bank.  Other days, I'm collecting money after the bank closes but after 'their' business closes.

Invariably, unless I go to work early, my hours 'at work' only run from 9:00am to 3:30pm Monday through Wednesday, and from 9:00am to 5:00pm (at the latest) on Thursday and Friday.

I am paid a salary, plus the odd bonus every once in a while.  I have it pretty good.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 6:53:40 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I am an educator at an adult level and get to play with toys all day. Does that match me? LOL

I take care of equipment for demos and labs during the day at one university. At night, I teach as an adjunct professor for another. Both are sciences. But, in, august, I'm going back for a PhD in Mech Engineering....and I just enrolled in a PhD Metaphysics program.

I'm a busy woman. Thank god I have a house boy!

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 6:59:00 PM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline 		An interesting thread, KnightofMists
 
It gave me the opportunity to be introspective into my own professional life.  I own a small company and have a partnership in a larger company.  Over my professional career, I’ve had to learn to be aggressive and more dominant.  So, the business owner is much more of a role play situation for me than finding my slave’s heart. 
 
I will admit I am much more at ease and comfortable on my knees, but no one would ever realize that when I’m wearing my power suit.
 
As you, I do love my complete life.  I’ve been very blessed and fortunate.
 
Respectfully,
curious

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 6:59:19 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I manage a photo lab for Walgreens drug store.  I develop peoples pictures, try and teach them how to use their own equipment and teach the clueless how to do some of the easiest tasks imaginable.  I have amazing patience, which helps me in my training at home.

I manage 5 people, right now.  The running joke is that they cal me Mama bear, and theres a sign hanging in my lab that says "If Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy"

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:00:29 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		While I really COULD have become any profession I wanted to go into, I'm pretty sure my dream job would be as an excutive assistant to someone in a financial benefits field.  Even then, I'd prefer not to have to work a regular job at all, or at most part time.  I can't be "out" to coworkers unless I got really damn lucky, I'm very picky with who I spend time with, and frankly I find keeping a home and doing other work far more personally rewarding.

I don't like when work bleeds into life- I understand in my current position that sometimes overtime might be necessary and accept that, but I work hard to avoid it as much as possible.  I want my time to be my time.  

A lot of subs say they love Ds because it lets them relax and not have to think about stuff when they get home, which I honestly haven't found as the actual reality of long term submissive relationships. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:12:37 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, great thread...
 
While i did not become intune with my submissive nature until last year, my past career was in healthcare and even though i had positions of leadership - my primary focus and job description was care and service of people and their needs... even my writing has been service oriented in awareness articles for parents of teenagers and the business i am part of also serves the needs of people and their health. Now, i am taking Reiki classes and then moving to healing massage - once again serving people. So i would say my professional life is a reflection of my personal life to a large degree...

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:21:07 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Being a submissive, my job is perfect for my nature..I am a nurse and thus am submissive to my patients and physicians and ad infinitum..I enjoy seeing to their needs and being their advocate in any aspect that is needed.I calm the troubled waters, and smooth the way for a postive outcome.Being a nurse creates a need to be very organized in thought and deed...do I fail at time?...Yes, many times...but I learn and adapt as best as I can...and will ,I am sure, continue to learn, fail,overcome and adapt until I am 6' under...Tempting

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:33:29 PM   
nissa


Posts: 125
Joined: 2/28/2007
From: Carson City Nevada
Status: offline 		Mine is opposite to each other. I am submissive in my relationships yet extremely assertive, aggressive and dominant in the work place.

_____________________________

nissa

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:35:26 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Nice thread, Knight and I always love to read and follow LA’s posts. LA, why do you think you could have been in any profession you wanted to go into? I’m willing to bet you were not cut out emotionally for many even if you could pass the test, so to speak.

I was always blessed with test taking, academic ability, plus fairly athletic and one thing I learned was, although, I could qualify for certain jobs, I would do them poorly.

I’m in a very academic, scientific profession now that doesn’t entail supervising anyone to speak of, but it does require getting along with many other disciplines. I’m also in a position where my peers judge me critically and I am not about to out myself to them. I mean I’ll go to a BDSM club now and then, but if I see anyone there I know, we are all in the same boat. It would, actually, be fun if I ran across someone like that.

As far as CE, she is a college instructor and student working on another grad degree. I suppose you could say she has power over students, it you want to look at power that way, but I view it as neither of us is in a particularly dominant or submissive position in our work.

I did read one fairly interesting article by a psychologist into BDSM who could predict Doms and subs from their work. He made a pretty good case that submissive men tended to be in positions of authority at work, while Dom men were in technical fields. I'm not sure, but, from what I’ve seen, D/s relationships can work no matter the work positions of the people involved.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:35:36 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I have to be submissive at my job and frankly it pisses me off.  Somehow my manager barking orders at me just isn't the same as my Dominant bossing me around. ;)

...Hence why I am job-hunting.


_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:49:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain
Nice thread, Knight and I always love to read and follow LA’s posts. LA, why do you think you could have been in any profession you wanted to go into? I’m willing to bet you were not cut out emotionally for many even if you could pass the test, so to speak.

LOL, cuz I'm smart, stubborn and competitive enough with myself that if I decided it was what I wanted to do, I'd have made it happen.  I wasn't worried about money and there was no pressure from my family to go into any specific field.  It really was my choice alone.

So of course I start with philosophy. :)

I agree- I'm not suited for many positions, even if I'd have made it work.  Many positions I'm well suited for, I don't want the sacrifices which would be required for them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:52:17 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		we've both been in jobs that require traits that aren't necessarily at home with our private roles. i tend to seek out positions that jive with my submissive personality, personally. eventually i would like to teach at the college level, because i love teaching and learning, and it's something i extend to all areas of my life - lifestyle and non. i'm lucky because the career i am pursuing is what i'd do if i were independently wealthy and didn't have to work, except with the added stress of bills and student loans and such ;)

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:53:16 PM   
smilingjaguar


Posts: 271
Status: offline 		I'm submissive and a medical transcriptionist who works from home part time.  I train and mentor the new transcriptionists and am the night owl lead transcriptionist.  If someone has trouble late at night, they call me, but there are only 3  working that shift and I've delegated well enough that I may get called once a month.  I'm a firm believer in teaching the underlings to manage minor things themselves. :)  I have things set up now so that I can go to nursing school this fall.  The dreaded RSIs are taking their toll and I'm told within 2 years will be unable to work any job requiring significant typing.

As far as the real home front goes, most people we know assume I have the power in the relationship because of the way He has delegated tasks and because I'm a strong, fiery woman.  I handle the tedious, beaurocratic things that are a necessary part of life and also run interference on the personal BS that tries to work its way into our family.  (We both have overly dramatic families.) I found out He got the current job because I was faxed the entire benefits package to fill out for His signature.  If there is paperwork involved, it's a safe bet He has delegated it to me.  He says He hates it and has an intelligent slave who knows what His wishes are so why should He bother doing anything other than signing off on it.  If anyone asks Him mundane matters like specific amounts of bills and such, He most likely doesn't know off hand.  He approved the budget, but it isn't something that he worries about.  We've been together for 10 years now, so we both understand what the priorities are.  According to Him, I'm the ultimate kinky secretary fantasy...

We do have children (both toddlers), and that can be demanding at times.  He travels for half the month, so I pretty much have to be self-sufficient and able to obey without him looking over my shoulder.  He gets quite a kick out of the perception that I wear the pants, though.

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 7:54:29 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		What a fun thread!  i am a legal assistant for the in-house counsel of a national corporation.  It is a somewhat odd position in that i am always waiting hand and foot on attorneys (ok maybe not literally, it just feels like it some days), yet they rely heavily on me to know what i am doing and being in control of any given situation.  They have the final word, since it is their name and bar number at the bottom of that pleading or document; however, they also know that if they are saying something or quoting case law that i think is incorrect, they know i am aggressive enough to speak up.  i guess what i am trying to say (in a very wordy manner) is that i have to be submissive enough to STFU and do as i am told and dominant enough to 'have their backs'. 

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 8:12:57 PM   
mythi


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline 		I'm a customer service rep, which would be in line with my submissiveness.  However, I work in a small company where the manager has to run out a lot , and is often disorganized, and I get called on to make a lot of decisions when he's away.  A.) Because I often know the customer whose project is in question or am possibly even familiar with the work itself...and B.) I'm apparently the only one willing and able to do it and therefore keep things running along.  Since I'm rather fond of getting paid, and in order to do so the company must turn a profit, which can only be accomplished by completing work...I'm very much in favor of things running along!  lol

I've been both a full partner in my own business before (hated it) and was an office manager for several years (also hated it).  So I'm very capable of being leader-like when I have to.  But I prefer not to and over time it takes a toll on me emotionally. 

So basically I'm a sub who can switch if she has to.  Which is what I am privately as well.

Aside from helping customers tho, I find that my submissiveness comes out even more in my interactions with my coworkers.  I make the coffee in the morning and fix cups for those who are there when I get in, and I clean up before I leave.  I "mother" people when they don't feel well and try to counsel and calm when they're upset...generally taking care of everybody as their needs arise.  I'm also friends with most of my coworkers outside of work too tho, so the line is kinda blurred.  But I like it that way.  My job gives me the opportunity to spend time with some of the people I care about most and often help make their lives easier. 

_____________________________

“The truth doesn’t change based on our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 8:14:42 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I've been in supervisory and mid management postions since I was about 17. I tend to move up quickly at work, when i was working in hotels or restaurants.

Now I'm the Office Manager and A/P administrator for the district office of the company i work for. This summer I'll be taking over Administration of all A/P for the Western Offices. My list of duties are long an varied. The only person that is above me in the area is The Operations Manager and he has no interest in running the office. Oh ya, I'm also his executive assistant lol.
As our company grows my position will move more and more into strictly mangment of the other staff and as the OM's assistant. So really I spend 9 or more hours a day. making desicions and making things get done and done right so that my crews and the OM have what they need to do their jobs.

The last thing i want is to have to come home in and be in charge there too.

I find my submissive side helps balance out my life and keeps me from spiralling into chaos.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 8:47:40 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

In the context of our Dominant or Submissive natures there can be a compatiability with private life and work life or an incompatiability

IE
... the Submissive that is Senior Manger.
... the Dominant that is a Waiter
... the Submissive that is a Customer Service Rep
... the Dominant that is a Department Manger


Each example and many more situations express a compatiability or incompatiability.  I wonder of each person's situation and what issues are particular to your given situation. 

I myself am the Operations Supervisor for a given Territory.  All employees of my given department report to me and all other departments in the territory have an indirect reporting to me.  In essense, my work life is very comparable to my private life in that I have significant authority.  My own personal issue deal with more of the overload issue.  In my work position very much like my private life.. I am on call 24/7.  Meaning... that someone somewhere will call me for my decisions on a variety of issues.  For Example... last night I was in bed at 9pm.. before midnight I had 4 calls and the last one required me to get up and go out into the field until 2 pm the next day.  This type of demands on my time is not on common.  The issue is balancing this with the demands that exist for me privately.  My girls and family are indeed my priority.  I have found that because of my work life.. establishing rigid schedules are doomed to fail.  In fact, it is almost neccessary that my girls and family learn to adapt and deal with change.  My work culture is to embrace change and it is something that I am bringing into my relationship dynamics.

Lastly, I love what I am doing... both work life and private life.  Even when I feel over loaded... I just have to remind myself that I am the Boss.. and I can take the time I need to get re-energized.  I have in the past work positions and jobs that was not nearly as compatiable to my private life as it is now.  It is recently that I have come to realize that it was to some extent the incompatiablity of those past positions that I was not happy in some of my work.  In my work and in my private life... I find my general happiness to be greater when I have AND exercise the authority that I am empowered with.


So... what about you?


My job is infinitely difficult to describe (one of my closest friends asked me over lunch again what in the world it is I do).  At its essence its a non-supervisory entrepenurial job at an extremely small organization that involves me carrying a significant amount of responsibility and authority (my boss frequently refers to me as the quarterback) and doing a lot of networking.  Its a great job that I absolutely love that works well for me, I've found I thrive well in environments where I get to set my schedule and really make decisions about how things will be structured, I'm much more of a boss/entrepenur bee than I am a worker bee.

For me it doesn't really conflict with submission, my owner enjoys having a slave thats highly educated and has a pretty good job.  The only conflict is that occasionally my cell phone goes off a little to much for his tastes.  My plan is to go to law school in a few years and I don't think being a lawyer will conflict with being my owners slave.  I think the trick really is that the dominant either does (or does not) value having a person with an active career.  If they value it then there really is no conflict.

In terms of compatability of jobs and "perceptions" of what a submissive is supposed to be like in their private life I have found though that there is always this undercurrent of an expectation that submissives can't be highly educated, driven, have an active vanilla life, and be assertive, strong people who actually talk loudly enough to be heard clearly.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 8:48:54 PM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		  I am a self employed sculptor, and carver of stone for over 20 years, though I do work in a wide variety of medium. To me what I do has never, and I hope will never be just a job. It is a large part of me, of which it is my responsibility to share.

There are different dynamics involved given that I am creating original works for exhibit sale, in which I am a solo act per se’ from concept to completion, Or be that I am executing a commission to strict specification for a client. At times the requirements from both intertwine.
The first is a process of greater solitude and introversion, creativity, and research, and even a bit of entertainer if demonstrating at certain venues. I also give instructional assistance and symposiums on the craft. Anyone who is self employed may know the many tasks related to the business aspect.

 The second will many times require for me to wear a few more hats than the first. Along with designer, artist, craftsman, consultant, my responsibilities usually include the supervision and project management of the entire work.
Communication, and co-ordination between various needed people, resources, myself , and most important, delivering the needs and expectations of the client. This requires my full commitment for the client’s vision to be “realized.” Reliability and the integrity of delivering what I claim I am capable of in honesty is paramount. The end result is not in my experience one allowed compromise without valuable consequence.

My household is one of teamwork. One that foremost we attempt to keep the balance of  focusing on the growth and needs of my entire family as a whole. Sometimes that can be difficult given the saplings growing there, another seed coming to sprout, and all of life’s various twists and turns. For us for now, it is one of flexibility in accordance with the needs.

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Work Life & Private Life - 3/8/2007 9:05:16 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ummm.... I'm a student. I do what others tell me to do all day.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 20
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