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RE: Not a natural slave - 5/13/2005 10:14:26 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ggonknees

Hello,

i'm new to the website - i've spent a week trying to learn about as many aspects of this lifestyle as possible. But there's one thing i'm worried about: i'm not a natural slave. many of the profiles on here are natural slaves, it makes me feel like i'm not going to be any good because of how i am in my daytoday life.
i have a job with lots of responsiblity, i have a lot of control about how i choose to live my life. this is my worry, that my normal (vanilla? forgive me, learning new terminology) life is very different to the life i'm interested in as a slave.

is there anyone out there who have had the same experience (same battle in head) and if so, any thoughts or advice. or just someone to say it's OK, natural

thank you in advance
gg
ps love the site, a great open community

i havent read any of the 2 pages of reply
am in a fuckymood and am just lazy right now.....

but what is a natural slave?

It takes great strength to submit willingly to someone because you want to.
i have always considered myself a natural submissive personslity and have fought like hell to not be an asswipe or doormat all my life cause of it. Thus i have a reactionary passive aggresive mindset that i have also learned to deal with.....

But i choose who i submit my will to if the person is not an authority over me...like the police or the rules of the job, the code of nursing, etc.

When i chose to submit the slave part of my darkness over to the Owner, i stepped into something completely different. Was it "natural"? For ME yes and no.

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to ggonknees)

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Post #: 41

RE: Not a natural slave - 5/13/2005 11:42:32 AM

sassysilk

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/2/2004
Status: offline

That screen name does say slave in it, right? Hmm. You seem a little quick to tell someone that they're wrong. Pardon me for my spelling error, but I think the point was made. Being a rl submissive for a very long time HAS given me the knowledge of spotting them, but online and for someone who is inexperienced it's harder to detect. And my point by saying keeling/paddling was the point that they've never interacted PERIOD. This isn't a debate. I posted my view to possibly help. Take it or leave it. I'm not gonna have the " I know more than you do" bratty sub argument.

A note to you bossy azz subs out there: When someone posts something they are looking for different people's opinions which means it PROBABLY WILL NOT BE THE SAME OPINION OR SAID IN THE SAME WAY AS YOU WOULD. If y'all spent more time being supportive and giving your opinion instead of feeling you're about to train the new generation of subs, the boards would be a lot more productive.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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Post #: 42

RE: Not a natural slave - 5/13/2005 2:28:36 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

A note to you bossy azz subs out there: When someone posts something they are looking for different people's opinions which means it PROBABLY WILL NOT BE THE SAME OPINION OR SAID IN THE SAME WAY AS YOU WOULD. If y'all spent more time being supportive and giving your opinion instead of feeling you're about to train the new generation of subs, the boards would be a lot more productive.

Well I guess I will respond to this as I am most likely in your bossy azz subs category, seeing as I am now the second person here that you have gotten into a tiff with in your total of now just under 15 posts on these boards. I went back and re-read the posts by both myself and Emerald...and also your responses. Neither of us EVER told you were wrong but merely stated a different opinion or experience than yours. It seems that there is a pattern developing here that when someone responds directly to you and their opinion differs from yours, you become argumentative and disrespectful. I apologized to you this morning for not making myself clear enough for you and that you somehow saw it as a personal slam, which it was never intended to be. I would have thought that considering you have been a "rl submissive for a VERY long time", you would have somehow acknowledged the misunderstanding in a more postive way. I am hoping that you are just having a bad day, but on the outside chance that you're not I can tell you that name calling here will not make you fast friends...nor will it lend any credibility to your opinions. For that matter, neither will your claims of vast experience as there are people on these boards who have been rl submissives for as long or longer than you have been alive. Maybe someone should take a peek in the mirror and check their own bratty attitude.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to sassysilk)

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Post #: 43

RE: Not a natural slave - 5/13/2005 5:08:12 PM

subcheryl

Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivesilk

I am pretty new to this myself, but have known for some time of my nature. I have always had a job with some amount of responsibility, have raised my children on my own, made all decissions in our household. In "vanilla" (i hate that word) relationships, it is usually the weaker willed men who are attracted to me. 95% of my acquaintances would consider me Dominant. How wrong they are.

With the right Man, I am a slave thru and thru. I could no sooner say no to Him than I could fly to the moon.

I think that a slave is a strong person, not a weak one. A slave will take control if left unowned. She (or he) will find other ways of channeling the slavish nature. This is coming from my own experience. I became a slave to my children, and my job, and did very well at both.

I still question myself everyday. I wonder if I have the strength to do what is wished of me, to give up all of the control I have had in my own life. When I think of the alternative, I am confident that I can and will.

silk

Hey! ! ! Who told you about me? ? ? LOL this is pretty much my life story, not so much the job with alot of resposibilities, but the job was my resposibility since I was the only one bringing in money, taking care of children, a husband, home, etc. etc. etc. I led a very dominate life up till a yr ago. and all out of neccessity and survival. I know I am not dominate, I am sub/slave, My master loves me for what I am, and I love him for being a "Man", for taking the control that other men in my life didn't or wouldn't do. In the "vanilla" world, we all have to be somewhat dominate, that is the way I beleive society has become, and what really pushed me into exploring the "lifestyle".

(in reply to submissivesilk)

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Post #: 44

RE: Not a natural slave - 5/14/2005 8:09:37 AM

ggonknees

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/29/2005
Status: offline

I didn't know there were "rules" in vanilla relationships either.

I think you'll find that every Dom/Domme is different... they all have completely different ideas what is expected as a slave. One Master and I talked as equals most of the time, except during play. Another tried to keep me submissive all of the time, which I found I hated. Feel free to experiment with different people- it's the best way to find out what you want.

[/quote]

It's not rules exactly, rather, the boundaries I've come to understand are now altered in moving into this arena. I feel it's almost like being a teenager again when you're not sure how relationships/boys work etc. Anyway, again, good advice on getting a feel of what is right or not.

Thanks

(in reply to Lepidoptera)

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Post #: 45

RE: Not a natural slave - 5/14/2005 8:14:00 AM

ggonknees

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/29/2005
Status: offline

[/quote]

i havent read any of the 2 pages of reply
am in a fuckymood and am just lazy right now.....

but what is a natural slave?

It takes great strength to submit willingly to someone because you want to.
i have always considered myself a natural submissive personslity and have fought like hell to not be an asswipe or doormat all my life cause of it. Thus i have a reactionary passive aggresive mindset that i have also learned to deal with.....

But i choose who i submit my will to if the person is not an authority over me...like the police or the rules of the job, the code of nursing, etc.

When i chose to submit the slave part of my darkness over to the Owner, i stepped into something completely different. Was it "natural"? For ME yes and no.
[/quote]

I think the orignal thing that made me post this was that there are loads of slaves out there who do all this serving: like cleaning and so on. I was thinking, no, that's no me...but all these people go on about how they are a true slave and I thought maybe I'd got it wrong.
Anyway, I realise it's all about how you see yourself and what kind of relationship you strike up with a new Master etc.

(in reply to slavedesires)

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Post #: 46

RE: Not a natural slave - 5/14/2005 9:03:56 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Just a casual reminder to some of the posters, these are forum boards..expect diverse opinions and gezzz, don't take them so personally, I expect others to have their own thoughts..it is how we learn.

That being said, this is a topic I have debated several times in different places..there has never been a conclusion of if any one thing is right, so I won't profess to say any one answer is, but this is my thought on the whole slave issue;

When someone get's into the "lifestyle", many are confused on the various roles. I believe that comes about because of so many different sources of information, books, on-line sites, forum boards (winks), opinions of others at a munch, etc. What is certain..there are submissive attitudes and there are Dominant attitudes. Many do what I feel is the proper way to go about learning and growing and come into the BDSM scene as a submissive. They learn "things" and then make a decision later on of what they feel their natural tendencies are. Not all start this way...I feel they would be better off if they did however, I think the insight from a Dominant perspective would be much clearer if they had some experience as a sub. OK...so then it get cloudy...the submissive side has another entity, a concept that has been around for what I would assume is thousands of years, that of a slave. So, many associate themselves with that feeling, as that seems to explain them much more fully. I won't attempt to go into the variations and differences of a sub to a slave, but I will stick my vulnerable neck out and say there is one specific difference. You can be a submissive, you can be a submissive without being in a relationship, you can be a submissive with slave tendencies, but you cannot be a slave and not be owned. So...in my mind, a natural slave (if forced to come up with a definition) would have to be a submissive that had very strong tendencies toward giving up that total control as a slave, someone who when put into a relationship takes very little time to transform form sub to slave. I feel that slave is a step that is reached by a submissive, when they have gained the trust required to completely "let go", to move their Master or Mistress to Owner status. Myself, I have not yet had a sub reach that plateau, I hope to someday. But for myself, I would be wary of someone approaching me, stating they were a natural slave, if they were available. This goes against my way of thinking. I know many feel different, that's fine, this is simply my take on the whole slave term in general. Like I said previously..I have been involved in many debates on this subject with no concise conclusions. Food for thought is all..anyone hungry?..lol.

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Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to ggonknees)

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Post #: 47

RE: Not a natural slave - 5/15/2005 6:04:11 AM

ggonknees

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/29/2005
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He, he, that bit about being 'fucking moody' was me trying to quote slavedesires' post at the top of the page, but it didn't come out all fancy (you know in a neat box and stuff).

I'm well aware, like with any other aspect of our lives, that people are different and go at things in different ways etc...going back to what i said in my last post, it's just about working out whether my Master and i are compatable.

As it is, i'm not so certain that He is (well, i suppose, he is only the first one I've met...but it all started out sooo well). Bizarrely, we have the same mentality and in almost everyway, and similar goals, but i realise that he's much more sadistic (for want of a better word) than i.
I don't know if anyone can help on this (maybe i'll start a new thread...), i really want to improve my pain thresholds and improve my standing as a slave, i'm not afraid of being punished...but i don't think i'll ever enjoy the level of pain and brutality he has indicated he wants to inflict on me (and using our first private meeting as a baseline...)...but i'm hoping/guessing/assuming that obviously some Master's are harsher than others.

Actually, am I being a wimp for not wanting that? i would have thought there are lots of slaves/subs out there who want a good old beating, but that doesn't work for me. Without sounding too dumb, do most Masters/doms want to inflict severe pain? I think if i wanted that I would have gone to the hard core S&M site, right?

Thoughts anyone (BTW, that was several points in one, sorry, feel free to answer at will!

??
gg

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

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Post #: 48