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I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 9:54:27 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

Hi! I am new to the site and been trying to get laid for three whole days. I must say the site is very disappointing and I want my fuk'n money back.

Before I get my refund what exactly can I do to get some action around here?

Pleaze for the love of all things smutty and immoral tell me!!!!

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

Post #: 1

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 9:59:19 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

Well, first of all to give you the best info possible we'll need to know the size of your package and how talented you are with it and your tongue and fingers. In detail please

.

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Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

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Post #: 2

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:02:37 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

Pecker: Aptly named "THUNDAR" is about 17" long and 14" around. My tongue, aptly named "LIGHTNING" is 9 1/2 inches long and really thick. I have 6 very dexterous fingers on my left hand and 7 extremely dexterous fingers on the right hand.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to SweetSarijane)

Post #: 3

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:08:06 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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My GrandDomi always said, "Go ugly early."

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Post #: 4

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:08:30 PM

litleone8620

Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

omfg. That is hilarious.

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Post #: 5

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:10:13 PM

GrizzlyBear

Posts: 278
Joined: 3/26/2004
From: Missoula Montana
Status: offline

Only one tongue? Well there's your problem. Maybe if you split it down the middle...

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GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 6

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:11:59 PM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Pecker: Aptly named "THUNDAR" is about 17" long and 14" around. My tongue, aptly named "LIGHTNING" is 9 1/2 inches long and really thick. I have 6 very dexterous fingers on my left hand and 7 extremely dexterous fingers on the right hand.

OMG he really is a TROLL, non FUCKIN, but a troll none the less......he he

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"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

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Post #: 7

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:13:35 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GrizzlyBear

Only one tongue? Well there's your problem. Maybe if you split it down the middle...

I was thinking thirds.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to GrizzlyBear)

Post #: 8

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:14:46 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Your problem is hat you have been deprived for an entire 3 days. It is starting to cloud your mind. My suggestion, go look at some of the pictures, make love to Rosie Palmer and all 6 (in your case) of her sisters, and then try again. Dont forget to send out cock shots with ALL your initial emails, and send most of them to submissive women who have no interest in Domming you, or to Dommes who will never submit to you... depending on which side you plan on playing to get laid at that moment.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to BBBTBW)

Post #: 9

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:17:30 PM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GrizzlyBear

Only one tongue? Well there's your problem. Maybe if you split it down the middle...

Or learned some tricks with your toes? After trimming them of course...eesh! Troll hygiene!

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Post #: 10

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:20:39 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

I alredy did that DV. That s why I want my fuk'n money back. You know Mod 11 says she wouldnt do-me with your strapon. WTF???

And what is all this Gun Play that Mod 1 keeps talking about? Do you really need to bring a shovel for it, and why is it so far out in the country?

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 11

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:25:50 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

What the ladies really like is when you send them pictures of your penis, tell them to "kneel bitch" and ask them when they are available to come suck you off at the local Motel 6... that will work for sure

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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 12

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:27:34 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

What the ladies really like is when you send them pictures of your penis, tell them to "kneel bitch" and ask them when they are available to come suck you off at the local Motel 6... that will work for sure

Im in room 13, see you soon.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 13

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:28:54 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

There usually are no room 13s because stuperstitous... I mean superstitious people avoid things marked "13"... so you must be a faker

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 3/13/2007 10:29:06 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 14

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:30:02 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
You know Mod 11 says she wouldnt do-me with your strapon. WTF???

Well of course not, your not ready for anything that big if youve gone without for 3 days. You have to ease into the big guns...

quote:

And what is all this Gun Play that Mod 1 keeps talking about? Do you really need to bring a shovel for it, and why is it so far out in the country?

Its more sporting if you have farther to run. Dont worry, Mod1 is a trained professional and has plenty of mounted subbie heads on their wall to prove it.

Maybe your problem is that your cock shots are blurry. Try movie clips, doing something exotic. Maybe, oh, wanking with chocolate sauce. Yeah, no woman can resist chocolate, you know.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 15

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:30:35 PM

SilverShadows

Posts: 558
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

Do we have a betting pool on how long this thread will run too?

And are we going to serve tea and crumpets while we listen to Troll's whining?

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The Countess

Το αίμα είναι η ζωή
Cruor est Vita
Sînge is art.hot. Viaţă
Vér van a Élet

Come Kiss the Guillotine
Come Taste the Gasoline

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Post #: 16

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:32:30 PM

SilverShadows

Posts: 558
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

Julia you forgot the invitation needs to come with a slave contract demanding they turn over all their assets on the spot. Other wise it sounds like a charming invitation.

All I get is guys who want to "crawl into my darkness."

_____________________________

The Countess

Το αίμα είναι η ζωή
Cruor est Vita
Sînge is art.hot. Viaţă
Vér van a Élet

Come Kiss the Guillotine
Come Taste the Gasoline

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 17

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:33:39 PM

GrizzlyBear

Posts: 278
Joined: 3/26/2004
From: Missoula Montana
Status: offline

Well, if two is better than one, then three is better than two, yes? Do send us a before, during, and after set of pics. We all want to see!

_____________________________

GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
~Guillaume Apollinaire

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 18

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:38:34 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

There usually are no room 13s because stuperstitous... I mean superstitious people avoid things marked "13"... so you must be a faker

Okay, ignore the lil 12 on the door. Just look at the big red 13 in spraypaint.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 19

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:40:13 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
Well of course not, your not ready for anything that big if youve gone without for 3 days. You have to ease into the big guns...

Pffftttttt.... I have been in the lifestyle for 423 years. Started back in Cairo and just been an evil fuk'er after each incarnation.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 20

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