RE: do married guys have much luck here? (Full Version)

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azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:43:29 AM)

quote:

My advice is for someone 5'11 and 225 is don't show your photo! Even as a sub/slave youe photo is a big turn-off, and with the choices that most Dommes have you need to show your best side, not your fat-handled ass side.


OK, you win on that one. I removed the picture. See, I am a guy that actually listens!



azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:45:03 AM)

quote:

yay, ur boutyfull' just as you are!!!! *kiss


Thanks, and I truly mean that. I took the picture off because it seems most women here are offended by pictures of half naked men.



GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:45:41 AM)

quote:



Well if I divorced my wife, and then came to this website to find a partner, I might have to wait for 20 years to find someone. I guess in the meantime I can practice celibacy.



Yep, that's what most people do. It's called being decent.

Being decent means you can put aside your own selfish desires instead of hurting those around you. Sorry, but life isn't always about getting what you want. Sometimes it's about honor and integrity.

Anything worth having is worth waiting for. Good things don't come easy. Surely as old as you are, you know this by now?



azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:48:29 AM)

quote:

Oh, but Aquatic ... you know that all "twue" female BDSMers are just a bunch of horny sluts that can't wait to jump into bed with the next horny, possibly disease carrying, male - no matter if he's married or not, or if we would otherwise find him attractive in any way/shape/form, or if we are even looking for a play partner.


Oh well, at least someone here has a sense of humor.



Vendaval -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:50:24 AM)

No, the women on here are not offended by picture of partially dressed men. 
The pose and positioning was terrible and the view an assault on the eyes.



azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:56:18 AM)

quote:

No, the women on here are not offended by picture of partially dressed men.
The pose and positioning was terrible and the view an assault on the eyes.


OK, so considering I can't change my body (ya know I'm kinda stuck on that one) what kind of partially nude picture would you suggest I post? Yeah, I know, you want me to post the generic boring face pic that everyone else does. I think that vanilla cone is more interesting.



GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:58:56 AM)

Honestly, women generally do prefer a clothed picture. Naked men never did much for me regardless of what their bodies look like. Take a pic dressed nicely, looking like someone who takes pride in their appearance.



Vendaval -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 3:00:04 AM)

Try one that is a shadow or silhouette.



gandalf0297 -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 7:58:46 AM)

If your married ya shouldnt be screwing around in the first place. period.



FukinTroll -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 8:05:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

Honestly, women generally do prefer a clothed picture. Naked men never did much for me regardless of what their bodies look like. Take a pic dressed nicely, looking like someone who takes pride in their appearance.


Um... er... uh... well you see... it is like this... um... some really.... nasty hacker... yes, a nasty hacker broke into my PC and sent all those pics to you. Yup, that's it!



sublizzie -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 9:38:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Well if I divorced my wife, and then came to this website to find a partner, I might have to wait for 20 years to find someone. I guess in the meantime I can practice celibacy.



Hmmmmm... Gee. I practiced celibacy for the last 10 years of my marriage. I've practiced celibacy in the years since I left my husband. It has not killed me yet. You don't die from celibacy. In fact, it gives you a chance to really examine yourself and determine what you need in a new relationship. In the process you can bring integrity and honor back into your life which is something of value to any Dominant. Yes, I'm still looking. But I'd rather keep my honor and integrity intact rather than squander it on something fleeting.



AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 9:41:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

I just still want to know if you've even tried to let your wife know what you are into


I tried to get her interested in the kinky side of being a dominant, but she wasn't. If you are asking if I told her I'm trying to find a dominant woman for play outside of our marriage, the answer is no. She wouldn't be able to accept that.



Have you considered how she will accept it when she finds out after the fact. I still advise giving her a copy of "When someone you love is kinky".



AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 9:43:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

It sounds like you would like a domme who is interested in meeting you at set times, in private, for d/s play? What is in it for the domme?


Yes, that is what I'm interested in. As for what is in it for the domme, I guess that would be something she would have to be able to answer. Apparently not very many dommes see the value in this type of relationship because if they did there wouldn't be so many of us guys looking for it.



Well in the BDSM world consent is a big deal and your wife obviously can't consent to being cheated on. That would be my guess. I certainly wouldn't play with a married or taken partner without their partner's consent.



AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 9:46:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Look at this way: You are not cheating your wife. You're a dishonest person and she's well to be rid of you. You are cheating yourself because you are denying yourself a chance at the truly beautiful thing a full term D/s relationship can be.


Well if I divorced my wife, and then came to this website to find a partner, I might have to wait for 20 years to find someone. I guess in the meantime I can practice celibacy.



Gee that's incredibly selfish. I guess you don't give a crap about your wife. I would definately never be involved with you. If you are this coarse towards the feelings of others, I would never want you in my life and I would advise any friends I had who were considering you against it. Because they are worth more.

Consider this for a second - when you cheat and go home and have sex with your wife you are violating a principle of BDSM. You are removing her ability to make informed consent. I consent to have sex with Valyraen because he has an STD test and I am aware of any sexual play he does. If he were to hide it from me, then that would invalidate the STD test and remove my ability to make informed consent regarding sex.

Very dishonorable.



SweetDommes -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 4:09:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

all the easy chicks are (paraphrasing based upon your last post),


That's a pathetic job of paraphrashing. I didn't say anything about easy, but just for the sake of argument, what the heck is wrong with "chicks" that like to play around? Are you a prude or something?



Honestly, the problem is your attitude. 

You are married and cheating on your wife - which means that most women are not going to be willing to do anything with you.  It means that you lack integrity and honesty.  If you are willing to cheat and lie to your wife, then how can she ever trust that you aren't doing the same to her?  BDSM is based on honesty and trust, as well as the aspect of consensuality.  And I (and others) have already explained to you how you are violating that aspect.

You seem to think that we owe you something - which isn't very submissive, no matter your marital status.  You are upset that we are being honest about how your cheating makes us feel towards you.  Get over it - it has nothing to do with our D/s orientation or anything else.  It has everything to do with you being a cheating louse and then wanting us to condone it. 

I am not a prude, not by a long shot.  However, that doesn't mean that I am willing to compromise my belief system for you or anyone else.  I'm also not willing to trust someone who has shown that he is completely untrustworthy - which means that I wouldn't be able to trust him to be clean of STD's, drugs, or various bad habits that would be deal breakers.



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 4:34:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba


I have come to the conclusion that most of the women posting here from Arizona are vanilla. Nothing wrong with that, it's just an observation. It may or may not be different in other states. Nothing wrong with being vanilla, and most of them say so in their profiles, so that's OK by me.



Just for My personal edification, could you please give Me your definition of "vanilla"?



hisannabelle -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 6:18:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba


I have come to the conclusion that most of the women posting here from Arizona are vanilla. Nothing wrong with that, it's just an observation. It may or may not be different in other states. Nothing wrong with being vanilla, and most of them say so in their profiles, so that's OK by me.



Just for My personal edification, could you please give Me your definition of "vanilla"?


i'm curious as well.

i agree exactly with aquaticsub's posts on consent, as well as sweetdommes...it seems to me that the op has failed to take into account all the complex issues of cheating, which are just as much an issue to potential d/s relationships as they would be to his marriage, if his wife found out.



firemuse -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 7:14:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba
Well if I divorced my wife, and then came to this website to find a partner, I might have to wait for 20 years to find someone. I guess in the meantime I can practice celibacy.


Yes!  That's right!

So many other good posts have been made on this topic that I don't know if I can add anything.  I'm just stunned at your apparent total non-understanding of INTEGRITY.  azjojoba, basically what you're saying is that getting laid is more important to you than your wife, your integrity, your honour?  Than doing the right thing?

And why do you think it would take you any less than 20 years to find someone by staying with her?  Is it me or are Dommes not exactly banging down the doors looking for sub men your age?  One that's got the limitations a cheating husband has, and poor character is going to have an easier time finding someone?

C'mon, you're right...sometimes in life married couples grow apart...then you be a man and accept that we can't always have everything we want, or if you feel you need your kink, then you LEAVE your wife and live a real, respectable existence.  Either you're big enough to play the game or you're not.

fire



firemuse -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 8:21:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

OK, so considering I can't change my body (ya know I'm kinda stuck on that one) what kind of partially nude picture would you suggest I post? Yeah, I know, you want me to post the generic boring face pic that everyone else does. I think that vanilla cone is more interesting.


What is wrong with you??  Do you think it's respectful to present yourself this way to Dommes?  This is as much respect as you can give to them?  Do you think they WANT partially nude pics at this stage?  Don't you think they may want to see you the person before your semi-nude butt?

Was it this thread where someone mentioned the difference in men vs women as far as visuals?  How naive it is for a man to think that women wait around for undressed pics from strange men?  azjojoba, your demeanour and judgement is I don't think helping you AT ALL find someone.

(nb no offense to women who DO like inboxes full of nude pics of strange men...but I do think you are in the minority.)

fire

Alienum est omne quicquid optando evenit



chrissyslave -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 9:58:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

My advice is for someone 5'11 and 225 is don't show your photo! Even as a sub/slave youe photo is a big turn-off, and with the choices that most Dommes have you need to show your best side, not your fat-handled ass side.


OK, you win on that one. I removed the picture. See, I am a guy that actually listens!



Well, glad you listened at least to that one point, and sorry if the way I said it offended you.  It was meant to be "slap in the photo impression" department...not you as a person, or even against heavier persons in general (I've even sold plus size woman's wear as a specialist and sales manager a few years back...and enjoyed helping these woman with achieving better looks to show).  But you have at this point heard other concerns in other messages that might be wise to consider...and may I add might also see if your wife would allow you to be submissive sometimes at home...or maybe allow you to explore this with others so discreet is not as much a secret.  Maybe even seriously consider joining local group with a play room so is could more temporary type of connections.  BTW, nothing wrong with having a photo up but instead made it dressed like several posters have now also said.

So the best of luck with consentual play. 

chrissy-slave 



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