RE: do married guys have much luck here? (Full Version)

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azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/17/2007 5:59:12 PM)

quote:

My advice is for someone 5'11 and 225 is don't show your photo!


I'm a real person, not a movie star. I'm not going to post some fake picture just to please people like you.




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/17/2007 6:01:51 PM)

quote:

'm sorry to say that you completely butchered the quotes and my words came out as yours, and someone else's came out as mine (careful about editing quotes please!). Fact is I'm still waiting for a show of hands that indicate that his photo was a turn-on. And especially from a Domme here! Like "oh yea baby, show me your love handles in briefs....it turns me on!...let me whip that ass!!"


Gee, funny you should get angry about being taken out of context or being misquoted, especially considering the words you put in my mouth!




GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/17/2007 6:03:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Why do you need to hide this from her?


Because sometimes married couples have wants, desires, and needs that just can't be reconciled.



It's called a "divorce".




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/17/2007 6:03:46 PM)

quote:

If she were really trying to be helpful, she could have said tactfully that he might try a better picture. But again, who asked her if she liked it?


Bravo! My point exactly![:)]




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/17/2007 6:06:41 PM)

quote:

if I were a Domme would cause me to pass by his profile faster than a bullet BDSM train.


I wouldn't want to be your sub if you find my appearance to be so undesirable. Perhaps my picture serves it's purpose![:@]




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/17/2007 6:12:09 PM)

quote:

I still suggest drop that photo, get a few DRESSED photo and market yourself better.


So why isn't your picture posted? Just wonderin




ModeratorEleven -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/17/2007 6:15:23 PM)

Ok folks, enough.

XI




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/17/2007 6:19:11 PM)

quote:

Remember, jojoba, you are sneering, at this point, at the Ladies who are Lifestyle FemDoms, on this site, and in your state. You are projecting the attitude that this is all about BDSM adult play (i.e. kink) and any Lady who has a profile here but does not have this same idea as a first priority, is not a valid FemDom, in your opinion. Be careful about using terms like "so-called". It's insulting.


That's not at all what I'm saying. I don't care to generalize about dommes because I haven't known enough of them to come to that conclusion.




AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/17/2007 7:18:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Remember, jojoba, you are sneering, at this point, at the Ladies who are Lifestyle FemDoms, on this site, and in your state. You are projecting the attitude that this is all about BDSM adult play (i.e. kink) and any Lady who has a profile here but does not have this same idea as a first priority, is not a valid FemDom, in your opinion. Be careful about using terms like "so-called". It's insulting.


That's not at all what I'm saying. I don't care to generalize about dommes because I haven't known enough of them to come to that conclusion.



I just still want to know if you've even tried to let your wife know what you are into




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:02:57 AM)

quote:

I just still want to know if you've even tried to let your wife know what you are into


I tried to get her interested in the kinky side of being a dominant, but she wasn't. If you are asking if I told her I'm trying to find a dominant woman for play outside of our marriage, the answer is no. She wouldn't be able to accept that.




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:07:21 AM)

quote:

It's called a "divorce".


You are young, and cute, and quite an idealist. Once you have been married long enough you will realize that the two of you will have different needs, and they all can't be fulfilled by each other. That doesn't mean you just throw the marriage away. Your comment makes marriage sound like just another legal routine.




GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:17:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

It's called a "divorce".


You are young, and cute, and quite an idealist. Once you have been married long enough you will realize that the two of you will have different needs, and they all can't be fulfilled by each other. That doesn't mean you just throw the marriage away. Your comment makes marriage sound like just another legal routine.


As discussed on another post, I have been married and remained faithful despite truly horrific circumstances. I may be young but I know plenty of old folks who believe in divorce as well. When you are no longer compatible, you move on.

Lying and betraying one to whom you have made vows is wrong any way you slice it.

If your wife is not meeting your needs, explain to her that you need her to either a)meet your needs, b)let you find others to meet your needs, or c) agree to a divorce.

Or, here's a thought..you remember your vow to faithful and put your own selfish needs aside. Either do the right thing and be honest with her or relegate your desires to fantasy land.





wandersalone -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:22:15 AM)

I am a little confused about what exactly you are hoping to find.  You mentioned earlier that you felt that paying for a pro-domme would then be taking submission out of the equation as she would be providing a service ....wouldn't this also be a case with any other domme you submit to as in all cases they will have clear guidelines I imagine - eg. do not call you at home, can only meet during particular times, may not be able to socialise together with the domme, not be seen in public ...I don't know, these are just what I am imagining from what you have posted about your situation and it really does seem that the other person will be 'submitting' more than you in any situation.

So what exactly are you looking for? It sounds like you would like a domme who is interested in meeting you at set times, in private, for d/s play? What is in it for the domme? There are a lot of unattached, poly or attached and open male submissives on CM, it may be that they are more in demand.




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:25:36 AM)

quote:

It sounds like you would like a domme who is interested in meeting you at set times, in private, for d/s play? What is in it for the domme?


Yes, that is what I'm interested in. As for what is in it for the domme, I guess that would be something she would have to be able to answer. Apparently not very many dommes see the value in this type of relationship because if they did there wouldn't be so many of us guys looking for it.




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:29:17 AM)

quote:

all the easy chicks are (paraphrasing based upon your last post),


That's a pathetic job of paraphrashing. I didn't say anything about easy, but just for the sake of argument, what the heck is wrong with "chicks" that like to play around? Are you a prude or something?




Vendaval -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:31:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone
What is in it for the domme?

Nothing

There are a lot of unattached, poly or attached and open male submissives on CM, it may be that they are more in demand.

The ratio of unattached male subs in the Lifestyle far outnumbers the number of available Female Dominants. 




GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:33:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

It sounds like you would like a domme who is interested in meeting you at set times, in private, for d/s play? What is in it for the domme?


Yes, that is what I'm interested in. As for what is in it for the domme, I guess that would be something she would have to be able to answer. Apparently not very many dommes see the value in this type of relationship because if they did there wouldn't be so many of us guys looking for it.



You're lookin for kinky sex and getting your rocks off. MOST real dommes here (aside from pros) are looking for a relationship.

You're saying "boohoo, I want kinky no strings sex and she wants a RELATIONSHIP of all things!"

Hate to break it you, but that's been going on since, like, ya know, the beginning of the human race.

Women want relationships, men want sex. Welcome to planet earth! It actually has nothing to do with D/s and everything to do with wanting to selfishly "get something for nothing."

I'm a submissive too..and yeah, I love kinky sex. But I also am willing to give OF myself and of my own heart and soul to my dom in exchange for that kinky sex (amongst other things.)

And while this may be an unpopular opinion, I'm firmly rooted in the belief that a "play partner" only situation will always lack the depth of a true D/s relationship. When you are in a long term relationship with your dom/me, the intensity is a thousandfold because the D/s colors much of your everyday interactions.

Look at this way: You are not cheating your wife. You're a dishonest person and she's well to be rid of you. You are cheating yourself because you are denying yourself a chance at the truly beautiful thing a full term D/s relationship can be.




GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:35:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

all the easy chicks are (paraphrasing based upon your last post),


That's a pathetic job of paraphrashing. I didn't say anything about easy, but just for the sake of argument, what the heck is wrong with "chicks" that like to play around? Are you a prude or something?



Nothing wrong with "just playing around" as long as all involved are honest. But you aren't being honest. You are decieving someone who loves you and any women who would help you do that should be ashamed of herself. I've been that "other woman" once and I felt horrible about what I did. I could never, ever say that what I did was ok and I could never condone someone else doing it either.




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:36:48 AM)

quote:

You mentioned earlier that you felt that paying for a pro-domme would then be taking submission out of the equation as she would be providing a service ....wouldn't this also be a case with any other domme you submit to as in all cases they will have clear guidelines


Actually the answer is no. I have had two experiences with dommes -- on was a pro and one just had a kinky desire to spank men and to force them into oral servitude. I can tell you know that the experience with the latter was far more fulfilling because I knew she wasn't just being paid to act. Don't get me wrong, the pro I was with was a very nice, compassionate, but dominant woman, it just wasn't the same.




azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/18/2007 2:40:58 AM)

quote:

Look at this way: You are not cheating your wife. You're a dishonest person and she's well to be rid of you. You are cheating yourself because you are denying yourself a chance at the truly beautiful thing a full term D/s relationship can be.


Well if I divorced my wife, and then came to this website to find a partner, I might have to wait for 20 years to find someone. I guess in the meantime I can practice celibacy.




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