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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 6:38:55 PM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		i have no problem expressing my opinion in the rare event that Master asks for it. In the event He has no opinion, and leaves the decision up to me, i try to not bother Him about it again.

Master's dorei

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 6:44:21 PM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beachstoyboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

LOL - Hey, I think one of you guys forgot to log out and the other forgot to log in!  


Yes, I was bad. *blush*



You are gonna blush again !!   You said this on your profile ~~~
 Please notice and respect the "friends only" is selected under "seeking." While I am actively seeking friendship with anyone, that is ALL that is sought.
 But have everyone in kingdom come listed...was this a CM default or a blushing oversight? 

< Message edited by myobedience -- 3/17/2007 6:45:28 PM >

(in reply to beachstoyboy)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 6:52:59 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience

You are gonna blush again !!   You said this on your profile ~~~
 Please notice and respect the "friends only" is selected under "seeking." While I am actively seeking friendship with anyone, that is ALL that is sought.
 But have everyone in kingdom come listed...was this a CM default or a blushing oversight? 

It was neither, but instead was what his Mistress/wife instructed him to do. I wish him to make friends with all orientations. I'm not sure how following directions would make him blush.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to myobedience)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 6:56:20 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		when asked for my opinion i tend to get flustered because i am not used to being asked for my opinion and in fact when i was collared to Dom who recently (back in Jan. after my surgery) released me got to the point one night where He growled at me on the phone and said "Damnit this is why I hate talking to you on the phone, because you clam up and don't give any input."

i told Him i was sorry but that i was not used to being asked for my opinion and then when He said that He valued what i had to say and so i told Him.

for me it's hard to do something i am not used to being allowed to do.

if i am asked to give my opinion i suppose it's like pulling teeth from a T-Rex or a Mule.

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to myobedience)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 7:09:25 PM   
Llyren


Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline
I've had this problem in my vanilla life.  I rarely have trouble making minor decisions, and will try to defer so it doesn't seem like we're always doing what I want.  However, I solved this quite easily.  I love Thai food.  My favourite dish in all the world is Tom Kha Kai soup, and I could eat it daily.  So everyone knows that if I am expected to make the decision, we're getting Thai food. 




_____________________________

I'm not perving. I'm compensating for my myopia. So nyah.


Member of Cock-Suckers for World Peace

"Character is what you are in the dark."

- Lord John Whorfin

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 7:28:02 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

We sometimes have the same problem deciding about movies, restaurant, what to buy for supper; it is even worse when we are tired and stressed out, because nothing seems to stand out as more appealing than anything else. Neither of us cares which choice is made, but he will usually push me to decide. I know if I picked something really outrageous, he'd decide pretty quick AGAINST it. *L* If I truly have no preference, I will usually suggest a choice between two options, and he will pick whichever one sounds better to him.

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Llyren)
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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 7:32:45 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Well, some times I just do not CARE about an issue, such as what we have for dinner or what movie we watch.
Beach,
As you know, beth is just as bad.
Next time give us a call, and between us we'll think of something. Just got back from Hennessey's in Redondo. beth's red hair was very popular today. she wants to go bull riding again in Hermosa. Then again, we can always call in and watch home movies from the Folsom Street Fair.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 8:12:22 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: behindmirrors
Hehe, this has happened to us many, many a time. Usually when related to what we want to eat when both of us are hungry. "Where do you want to go for dinner?"
- "Umm...I don't know, what are you in the mood for?"
"I don't know!"
- "Well...I don't know either. I'm just hungry. Pick something?"
(and it goes on, and on, and on...)


That sounds like every night at my house!

When i'm by myself, i have little difficulty making decisions like that. But when i have to decide for both of us, and i'm responsible for choosing something that she will enjoy, my mind just goes blank or starts going in circles. And of course, decisions like that are almost always up to me. Sucks.

...dave

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 8:15:31 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

quote:

ORIGINAL: behindmirrors
Hehe, this has happened to us many, many a time. Usually when related to what we want to eat when both of us are hungry. "Where do you want to go for dinner?"
- "Umm...I don't know, what are you in the mood for?"
"I don't know!"
- "Well...I don't know either. I'm just hungry. Pick something?"
(and it goes on, and on, and on...)


I might ask, but I refuse to be in this sort of confused limbo.

Not to decide is to decide.

(I hope you like sushi)

Sinergy



< Message edited by Sinergy -- 3/17/2007 8:16:18 PM >

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 8:16:51 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress


How many other subs hesitate to express their opinions or preferences? How many other Dominants have run into getting a sub to express a preference or want to be like pulling teeth?


This is definitely an area i need to improve on...from expressing sexual preferences/ideas for play to the occaisional choice of a restaurant.

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 8:26:41 PM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

How many other subs hesitate to express their opinions or preferences? How many other Dominants have run into getting a sub to express a preference or want to be like pulling teeth?

 
Oh, i have no problem and keep all my teeth when it comes to expressing positive opinions, desires, preferences...
 
Call the dentist for extraction tools when it comes to talking about emotions or negative issues ..

Just want everyone smiling..flashing those Colgate grins..
 
(working hard on keeping all my teeth )

< Message edited by curiouslyseeking -- 3/17/2007 8:33:17 PM >

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"


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RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 8:36:09 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
As a Dominant, I'm expected to make all the decisions and my will should reign supreme. right?

 
is this an expectation that you personally believe in... or is it an expectation that you are trying to live up to because of some sort of preception of what a Dominant is suppose to be.
 
Personally.. I don't buy the idea that I am to make all decisions.   What I believe is I will make all the decisions that I want to make and the decisions that I need to make. 
 
quote:
Well, some times I just do not CARE about an issue, such as what we have for dinner or what movie we watch. It can be a real chore to get my sub to actually express an opinion at such times. He and I have had discussion after discussion about the fact that if I say I do not care about an issue I expect him to let me know his preferences on the subject. Well.. we're still working on it. LoL.

 
That's right sometimes I Don't care either.  So it's simple... Delegated!  "Girl Make Dinner!  I don't care what. " Simple.. instruction.. not interested in them dragging their feet or even care for them to worry about what I want.. the instruction was clear.. Do it and make what they want! 
 
In these situations.. I am not going to get into a negotiation to relieve them of the authority that I have delegated to them.  In fact.. to get into such a negotiation undermines my authority and their obedience to my authority.  Sometimes their obedience is to make decisions with my blessing!
 
quote:


How many other subs hesitate to express their opinions or preferences? How many other Dominants have run into getting a sub to express a preference or want to be like pulling teeth?


yeah they like to hestitate at times when delegated authority to make a decision.  of course. As a Dominant... I can make it worse if I entertain  their hestitations.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 9:12:05 PM   
raevnn


Posts: 152
Status: offline 		I have issues making decisions... but I've always had that, even before this relationship began.

As for opinions - I have them and am happy to state them when asked :)

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 9:17:34 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: raevnn

I have issues making decisions... but I've always had that, even before this relationship began.

As for opinions - I have them and am happy to state them when asked :)



I am more than capable of making decisions.

Like Knight Of Mists points out, I will only make decisions I feel like making.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to raevnn)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 10:14:26 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
she wants to go bull riding again in Hermosa.

Watching her on that bull was just great! We need to take a vid cam and record it next time! Want to go again next Fri? Maybe even get the munch group in on it!

Oh, and we ended up staying home and having corned beef, parsley potatoes and cabbage. Yum

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 10:16:29 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
As a Dominant, I'm expected to make all the decisions and my will should reign supreme. right?

 
is this an expectation that you personally believe in... or is it an expectation that you are trying to live up to because of some sort of preception of what a Dominant is suppose to be.
 
Personally.. I don't buy the idea that I am to make all decisions.   What I believe is I will make all the decisions that I want to make and the decisions that I need to make.  
 




I was making a joke.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 10:19:36 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have this problem with my sub at times. I don't care what we do at the time and I tell him to make a decision and he says "Well whatever you want to do Mistress". With him it is the programming (as I call it) that he recieved in "Masters Training" as he was a Master before. He believes that subs/slaves can't make decisions(in some cases have no opinions) and when I ask him too, it seems his brain freezes up. I am trying to change his view on that. So what I do is now is say "Make a decision NOW thats an order boy!" lol I have found that works.

It can be frustrating at times though.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/17/2007 10:23:21 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
she wants to go bull riding again in Hermosa.

Watching her on that bull was just great! We need to take a vid cam and record it next time! Want to go again next Fri? Maybe even get the munch group in on it!

Oh, and we ended up staying home and having corned beef, parsley potatoes and cabbage. Yum


Hey, did you save me any leftovers? beth crashed as soon as we got home from Hennessey's. We were going to head back out, but it's foggy as hell here - can't see the front gate; so driving anywhere tonight isn't a good idea. Besides, my guess is that the South Bay's finest are out in force.

Next Friday sounds like a plan, especially bringing others from the munch group. Wonder if they'd let us have our own 'rodeo contest'? I'll be better prepared with my camera.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/18/2007 12:37:01 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_844709/tm.htm
straight up questions

reposted:

BTW a lot of slaves have this problem of owning their feelings and desires- part of why they love slavery is to help release that "burden."  And don't us doms just love taking on those burdens? :)

I find just not letting them get away with copout answers and asking very specific and direct questions, reminding them that I already KNOW that they'll obey me and that they want to make me happy helps in the moment.

I also focus a lot of training on making them own their desires and feelings- forcing them to verbalize "I want to do X" and be completely selfish in some choices.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Pulling submissive teeth? - 3/18/2007 12:45:59 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I suffer from this, too, but a previous mistress pretty much solved it by phrasing such questions along the lines of: "I don't feel like making a decision today, so tell me your preference." It was a bit difficult at first, but after realizing that a phrasing of that nature was designed because that whole indifference submissive thing actually disserved her in the long run.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 40
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