Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

black eye?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> black eye? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:26:05 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I recently acquired a black eye by the unsexiest of means....I was accidentally hit in the face at work.  My best friend who happens to be vanilla saw me today.  She knows a little bit about my relationship with my Dominant.  Her first reaction was a look of, 'WTF DID HE DO THAT TO YOU?'  She has seen bite marks that were a lot worse, asked about experiences I've been through that were much more painful, and I consider her to be kink-friendly, but that was a complete and total redflag in her eyes. I was thinking about it and I haven't read a thread about black eyes on the CM forums.  I did a search and didn't find anything. How do you feel about black eyes in context of BDSM?  If you saw someone attend a munch with a black eye, would you automatically assume ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE?  Is it sexy?  Horrifying?  Does it really matter? I look forward to your views.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:32:56 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		i wouldn't assume anything.  Some people are into severe beating (kicking, gut and face punching) etc.... i knew a slave who's master treated her in this fashion and she loved it. my concern would be damage - eyes are delicate and can be easily injured. 

i don't find it particularly sexy or horrifying - it just isn't my cup of tea either.  Face bruising would be a hard limit for me - and anything to do with my eyes would be as well.  Like having them forced open so a dom can come in them *ick* yes someone i was interested in once had this as one of his desires. 

< Message edited by velvetears -- 3/17/2007 6:33:51 PM >

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:37:00 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		It's definitely not sexy to either of us, but it doesn't scream abuse either.  Crap happens - like getting hit by something falling off of a shelf, to accidentally hitting yourself in the face with something (my most common way to get a black eye), and various other totally innocent reasons.  If it's a person that I know, and they are happy - I'd always ask "where did you get that?" before jumping to any conclusions.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:37:12 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears
Like having them forced open so a dom can come in them *ick* yes someone i was interested in once had this as one of his desires. 
 Um that's happened to us accidentally.  I'm glad he didn't find it really appealing.  I had to take out my contacts and wear my glasses (which are embarrassing (read: really cheap) and look like they could be my grandma's) for a day or two. I once knew a girl who's master had hit her out of uncontrolled anger.  She had a black eye for several weeks.  She absolutely loved it (gushed about it constantly) and I never really understood why.  I found it kind of scary at the time.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:43:27 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I do think that BD/DS/SM falls into the "extreme sports"
category, so asking what happened is good.  Assuming
that someone got hit in the face on purpose or that they
are being battered is a rush to judgment.
 
My partners and I have our fair share of bruises from bad
timing or moving around in the dark. 
 
 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:43:51 PM   
outlier


Posts: 1111
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver
I once knew a girl who's master had hit her out of uncontrolled anger.


junecleaver:

BIG,  BIG  RED FLAG!!!!

Outlier


_____________________________

Avatar from xkcd.com

"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:44:07 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		if i saw someone with a black eye, i would automatically assume abuse.

extreme hard limit for me - i don't want to explain why mommy is black, blue and sore to my 2 UMs


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:46:02 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		There was one lady on here who wanted a split lip and a black eye, and every one told her at the very worst her dom could be arrested at the very least every one would speculate, but it was a long time ago.

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I was thinking about it and I haven't read a thread about black eyes on the CM forums.  I did a search and didn't find anything


_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:48:56 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I left the cabnit door open and once I bent down to pick up my panties off the floor and smacked my eyeglasses on the door. It was a damned good thing it was my glasses and not my eye.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

It's definitely not sexy to either of us, but it doesn't scream abuse either.  Crap happens - like getting hit by something falling off of a shelf, to accidentally hitting yourself in the face with something (my most common way to get a black eye), and various other totally innocent reasons. 


_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:50:32 PM   
blushingflower


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears
I once knew a girl who's master had hit her out of uncontrolled anger.  She had a black eye for several weeks.  She absolutely loved it (gushed about it constantly) and I never really understood why.  I found it kind of scary at the time.

Being hit in anger would be a hard limit for me.  That, to me, is part of what distinguishes consensual BDSM play from abuse.
There are situations where a black eye is just an accident.  An intentional black eye is something I wouldn't be alright with- I don't want to have to lie even more than I already do, and it would lead to questions. 

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:52:23 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I know that people like to assume the worst, but honestly - every single black eye that I have ever had has been self-inflicted, either through bad freakin luck, or sheer stupidity (yes, I admit it - I do stupid things sometimes ... but not nearly as many as I used to).

The only one that any of our boys has had while ours was accidental (I believe I rolled over and elbowed him in the eye in my sleep). 

I know lots of people who really did fall down the stairs or hit themselves with the door ... or pulled something down on top of them from a shelf, or ... or ... or ...

It's always best to ask first instead of assuming anything.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:52:28 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I recently acquired a black eye by the unsexiest of means....I was accidentally hit in the face at work.  My best friend who happens to be vanilla saw me today.  She knows a little bit about my relationship with my Dominant.  Her first reaction was a look of, 'WTF DID HE DO THAT TO YOU?'  She has seen bite marks that were a lot worse, asked about experiences I've been through that were much more painful, and I consider her to be kink-friendly, but that was a complete and total redflag in her eyes. I was thinking about it and I haven't read a thread about black eyes on the CM forums.  I did a search and didn't find anything. How do you feel about black eyes in context of BDSM?  If you saw someone attend a munch with a black eye, would you automatically assume ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE?  Is it sexy?  Horrifying?  Does it really matter? I look forward to your views.


I taught martial arts for years.

I enjoyed fighting 3 on 1 where I was the middle guy.

I would wander in to work frequently looking like Edward Norton in Fight Club.

You can tell people what happened, and a certain percentage are not going to believe you and assume the worst.

I would say you should learn to accept it.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:53:19 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I'm happy to have a story to add to this- the first weekend my ex was spending at my apartment, I was lying on the bed talking to her while she sat on the floor. My dog decided to jump onto the bed, and his head connected with the bridge of my nose, breaking it. When I went to work Monday with two black eyes, my boss (who knew I was having special company for the weekend) pulled me aside and asked if I needed to talk to a social worker.

It's a lot funnier if you know my ex and I... she's a foot shorter and half my weight.


_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:53:49 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

I left the cabnit door open and once I bent down to pick up my panties off the floor and smacked my eyeglasses on the door. It was a damned good thing it was my glasses and not my eye. 


Yeah, I've done stuff like that, but typically hit my forehead or temple rather than my eye or glasses LOL

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:53:55 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, Jesus H Christ!!!!, you gotta explain two out of them three every day of your life girl!!!!!!!!!


UncleCracker


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:56:00 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		I'd not assume anything, as I've given myself a black eye on the bathroom sink before. Not all bruises are caused by BDSM.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:58:02 PM   
outlier


Posts: 1111
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		junecleaver,

To be clear:  It is not the black eye, but striking
out of uncontrolled anger  that I see as the big red flag.

As a dominant,  I would avoid any sub who wanted my anger
or saw it as desirable.  Because she might behave to illicit it.
I want open and honest; none of these kind of games.
Actually, this could be a topping from the bottom.
Obviously the "master" was not in control.

Edited for clarity,

< Message edited by outlier -- 3/17/2007 7:05:42 PM >

_____________________________

Avatar from xkcd.com

"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 6:58:09 PM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		some subs liketo be slapped real hard across the face. I have given quite a few black eyes n otha bruises, but always knew it was cool b4 i would go that far. 

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:02:46 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: outlier

junecleaver,

To be clear:  It is not the black eye, but striking
out of uncontrolled anger  that I see as the big red flag.

As a dominant,  I would avoid any sub who wanted it
or saw it as desirable.  Because she might behave to illicit it.
I want open and honest; none of these kind of games.
Actually, this could be a topping from the bottom.
Obviously the "master" was not in control.

I understand your point. I have since lost contact with her.  She was very dependent on him in a literal sense of having no where else to go and very few resources.  I think by sexualizing and idolizing the abuse, it allowed her to be able to handle it for a little bit longer.  She left him eventually.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to outlier)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:03:12 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		If you look at my picture on my profile there is a very obvious scar running up and down on my forehead between my eyes, I would like to tell elegant stories about it, but as it happened I was on my KNEES scrubbing the kitchen floor and opened the cupboard looking for something, and don't have any convienient or cogent way of saying this ----------------since it was open and I held the handle firmly in my grasp, the upshot was that the gods of the mundane directed, nay---commanded that I run my head into the corner---------
no other explanation, but that is what that is.
William Holden


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> black eye? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.098