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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 6:10:49 AM

Cuckme4Life

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i m in,,,, nothing ventured, nothing gained!!!

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 6:19:50 AM

Mercnbeth

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The show is a great idea but it is based upon an unrealistic premise. This; "Suppose there was a neutral panel of Dominants and submissives." doesn't exist.

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 6:21:20 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

Now that I've fallen in love with my sub, that love comes before all else. If he were to become unable to serve tomorrow due to some awful circumstance, I would give up BDSM for him. It would hurt him if I took another sub.. therefore I'd let it go. Yes, Dominants can be guided by tender emotion also.

However, in selecting my sub, love didn't enter into the equation. Submission, chemistry, hormones, lust and his ability to serve were the important factors. I didn't set out to find someone to love. I happened to fall in love with one of my subs. *smiles*

Very interesting..and very well said about what the important factors were in the beginning for you.

The romantic in us sometimes says we would die for that person, but in past years did you ever think you would give up BDSM for a person as you would now?

Thank you for sharing, BeachMytress

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 6:23:08 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

The show is a great idea but it is based upon an unrealistic premise. This; "Suppose there was a neutral panel of Dominants and submissives." doesn't exist.

(laughing)..Can't a person dream?

I see it as a way to eliminate sub frenzy...any takers?

< Message edited by curiouslyseeking -- 3/20/2007 6:27:21 AM >

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 6:25:32 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

I would never do it. two main reasons. the first is that I hate that kind of show. the second is that nobody can say who I should love. I find my own slaves

I find this interesting a Dominant talking about love before submission...if I am understanding correctly...

Is love more of a factor in Dominating and controlling than submission and obedience?

Yes. We can't forget that this is not some business, at least not for me. The relationship between a Master and his slave is one of love. That's why they want to live together.

So, I'm still very curious...(the names suits me)...if I am understanding correctly you want love before submission....does this mean you start off with a friendship-vanilla type of relationship and progress toward D/s?....

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 6:31:53 AM

WilliamWizer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

I would never do it. two main reasons. the first is that I hate that kind of show. the second is that nobody can say who I should love. I find my own slaves

I find this interesting a Dominant talking about love before submission...if I am understanding correctly...

Is love more of a factor in Dominating and controlling than submission and obedience?

Yes. We can't forget that this is not some business, at least not for me. The relationship between a Master and his slave is one of love. That's why they want to live together.

So, I'm still very curious...(the names suits me)...if I am understanding correctly you want love before submission....does this mean you start off with a friendship-vanilla type of relationship and progress toward D/s?....

what do you understand by "friendship-vanilla type of relationship"?
I won't start a relationship using a whip or a cane on my future slave. first it's required that we trust each other so we will start as friends for a while. and then once trust is established we will move to more "fun" things.

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 6:41:24 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

I would never do it. two main reasons. the first is that I hate that kind of show. the second is that nobody can say who I should love. I find my own slaves

I find this interesting a Dominant talking about love before submission...if I am understanding correctly...

Is love more of a factor in Dominating and controlling than submission and obedience?

Yes. We can't forget that this is not some business, at least not for me. The relationship between a Master and his slave is one of love. That's why they want to live together.

So, I'm still very curious...(the names suits me)...if I am understanding correctly you want love before submission....does this mean you start off with a friendship-vanilla type of relationship and progress toward D/s?....

what do you understand by "friendship-vanilla type of relationship"?
I won't start a relationship using a whip or a cane on my future slave. first it's required that we trust each other so we will start as friends for a while. and then once trust is established we will move to more "fun" things.

I'm still trying to understand..I love to see other's viewpoints..but I don't want to confuse the issues...

Originally, I understood that you want love before submission..

I don't want to confuse submision with the "fun" (whips, canes) in this scenario...

So, what I am understanding now...you want trust before bdsm...

So, if I am reading you correctly...you want love and trust before a bdsm relationship based on control and obedience..

So, now to get back on topic...would you join the show and use your year to build from vanilla friendship up to the D/s? (Does not state in the contract how to spend your year)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, off topic, would be interested to hear who else prefers love first over submission.

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 7:58:06 AM

litleone8620

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Off Topic:

To have a play partner, i wouldn't have be in love. I would have to like them, respect and trust them (not necessarily in that order), but i wouldn't have to have some deep emotional attachment.

However, if i were to be collared, i would have to love that person. Simply because of the commitment a collar means to me. I cannot see myself accepting a collar without love, and i wouldn't expect a Dominant to offer it to me without love either.

On Topic:

I think i'd like to do the show, as long as the other person doesn't assume i'm going to 'play' with him right away. Yes, i would like to build some sort of foundation relationship before entering into play, and then go from there.

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 8:09:15 AM

sublizzie

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A BDSM "Matchmaker" game? It could be interesting to see what happened. Makes me wonder who they might match me up with, if anyone. Could be fun!

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 8:21:45 AM

mythi

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From: Naples, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

Yes. We can't forget that this is not some business, at least not for me. The relationship between a Master and his slave is one of love. That's why they want to live together.

Not all M/s or D/s couples choose to live together... Just depends on the personalities and needs of the individuals involved.

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 8:34:55 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

A BDSM "Matchmaker" game? It could be interesting to see what happened. Makes me wonder who they might match me up with, if anyone. Could be fun!

That's the spirit!

Do you think it could alleviate the problems in searching or cause more?

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 8:34:59 AM

SirDominic

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"Reality Show" is an oxymoron. It is an illusion of reality cleverly manipulated by Hollywood types. Of course, I detest so called reality shows, so one might want to factor that in to my opinions.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 8:43:29 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

"Reality Show" is an oxymoron. It is an illusion of reality cleverly manipulated by Hollywood types. Of course, I detest so called reality shows, so one might want to factor that in to my opinions.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

Don't you think reality can be an illusion too?

Let's get really deep....is existence real or do we really exist? (smile) is that part of being delusional?

but a reality check here....in my playful banter..some great points and motivations have played out...especially in the searches, what's important and a stab back at frustrations.

so come along and take the magic carpet ride...

gonna apply for the show?

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 8:46:56 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mythi

quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

Yes. We can't forget that this is not some business, at least not for me. The relationship between a Master and his slave is one of love. That's why they want to live together.

Not all M/s or D/s couples choose to live together... Just depends on the personalities and needs of the individuals involved.

Great point, mythi....and another perspective that is often overlooked...again, preferences..

But on the show...gotta live together one year...just wouldn't be the same without Master-slave morning breath ...is that why she might sleep on the floor? (might be a blessing) *wink*

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 8:57:57 AM

sublizzie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

That's the spirit!

Do you think it could alleviate the problems in searching or cause more?

I don't see how it could *hurt* the search. I suppose it would be difficult for Dominants though because they would, in essence, be submitting to the will of those on the panel. But with enough transparency (see how well I can drag in other threads?) I could see it being workable.

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 9:06:30 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

Off Topic:

To have a play partner, i wouldn't have be in love. I would have to like them, respect and trust them (not necessarily in that order), but i wouldn't have to have some deep emotional attachment.

However, if i were to be collared, i would have to love that person. Simply because of the commitment a collar means to me. I cannot see myself accepting a collar without love, and i wouldn't expect a Dominant to offer it to me without love either.

On Topic:

I think i'd like to do the show, as long as the other person doesn't assume i'm going to 'play' with him right away. Yes, i would like to build some sort of foundation relationship before entering into play, and then go from there.

You made two great points here....

Still distinguishing between love and submission for you...and what it means...

And also...

If doing the show...you brought up something I didn't consider....and that's limits...

another twist in the plot...

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 9:10:16 AM

curiouslyseeking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

That's the spirit!

Do you think it could alleviate the problems in searching or cause more?

I don't see how it could *hurt* the search. I suppose it would be difficult for Dominants though because they would, in essence, be submitting to the will of those on the panel. But with enough transparency (see how well I can drag in other threads?) I could see it being workable.

Wow...this could go to another thread...(grin)...

Dominants giving up their choice, just as a the slave....an act of submission, having to accept and adapt.

But in reality, doesn't a Dominant on some levels accept and adapt as well? (Still analyzing any submission)

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 10:06:28 AM

litleone8620

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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

You made two great points here....

Still distinguishing between love and submission for you...and what it means...

And also...

If doing the show...you brought up something I didn't consider....and that's limits...

another twist in the plot...

There's a difference between submitting while scening, and submitting with a collar.

IMO, you don't necessarily have to love the other person if you're just submitting during a scene. It would probably be a good idea to like, trust, and respect that person.

But, if you're collared, and submitting, i think love does come into play. And i would most definitely prefer to love the person doing to collaring before it happens. It's just really hard to see myself accepting a collar and submitting to that person without that deep commitment.

About the show:

Absolutely there would be limits, just like any 'real' relationship i would be in. If the submissive wasn't allowed to have limits, then no, i wouldn't do it. Not only is it completely unrealistic, but highly dangerous.

I think it would be a good idea during the application process to list your limits, and the judges then find someone suitable for me.

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 10:28:36 AM

hereyesruponyou

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There was a great story i read on bdsmlibrary a few years ago with a kinda island Survivor theme. The couples participated in challenges each week that gave them points though instead of someone being voted off. Each challenge was another chapter in the story and they were presented with varying levels of skills in different bdsm realms each week. Neat idea, but ....... Actually the author was very good and the story was a nice examination of the mental gymnastics involved in the process

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RE: Reality Show - 3/20/2007 10:46:25 AM

WilliamWizer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamWizer

what do you understand by "friendship-vanilla type of relationship"?
I won't start a relationship using a whip or a cane on my future slave. first it's required that we trust each other so we will start as friends for a while. and then once trust is established we will move to more "fun" things.

I'm still trying to understand..I love to see other's viewpoints..but I don't want to confuse the issues...

Originally, I understood that you want love before submission..

I don't want to confuse submision with the "fun" (whips, canes) in this scenario...

So, what I am understanding now...you want trust before bdsm...

So, if I am reading you correctly...you want love and trust before a bdsm relationship based on control and obedience..

So, now to get back on topic...would you join the show and use your year to build from vanilla friendship up to the D/s? (Does not state in the contract how to spend your year)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, off topic, would be interested to hear who else prefers love first over submission.

I want trust before any serious BDSM relationship. and sorry but to play I have the playstation. BDSM is not a game is a lifestyle.

And yes I want love in that relationship but not necessary before control and obedience. first I need friendship and trust (they come together) and then in any order love and obedience.
I hope now I have explained better.

to stay on topic...
I have said I would never do it but if for some reason I need to do it I would try to use that year to at least become friends and who knows what more. the future is not written anywhere (well yes. it's written but be can't read it and that's another topic)

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