RE: Make this a paid site!

RE: Make this a paid site! (Full Version)

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ShiftedJewel -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 9:43:44 PM)
quote: Truthfully, and I don't say this to be snide, but there was a time in my life just out of school that I didn't have much money. And at that time, I had no business being in a serious, lifetime relationship. Money issues strain more marriages and relationships than anything else. In my case, I worked and worked and saved until I got into a comfortable financial position. Now that my career is established, I am fully ready for a relationship. So if someone truly can't afford $15 a month, that person's priorities should be on strengthening their financial footing or furthering their career ambitions. (You can tell I'm a financial planner, lol). I think that's just a fabulous idea... I personally find it difficult to love anyone that isn't fully established in their profession, one of the first things I look for in a lifelong mate. Ok, that was my sarcasm for the night. The reality is that most people don't put money first, they put relationships, love and friendship first. That's like putting an age limit on emotions. Just because you can't afford to spend money on pay sites doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed to develop long term and very healthy relationships. I don't see forcing them out of a now free site as helping in any way, shape or form. At least here it is possible to get to know same thinking people in a safe environment. At least here, even though they are annoying, the "trolls" can be blocked and ignored with little chance of them following you home from a club. Lets be real here, aren't we paying for enough as it is and you want to heap more bills on top of that........... that's just insane and We can afford it! Jewel

ScooterTrash -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 9:45:16 PM)
quote: I reject the argument that some people may not be able to afford this. That may be true for you OceanSlave, but for many having a career and financial stability is not one of their priorities. $15 a month could be a large chunk of change for some folks. quote: Money issues strain more marriages and relationships than anything else. In my case, I worked and worked and saved until I got into a comfortable financial position. Now that my career is established, I am fully ready for a relationship. Yes money problems can be the cause of relationship failures but if the building of that relationship solves that problem...well I guess problem fixed. I don't look at not having money as a deterent when I search for a sub/slave, I actually look at them having a career and stable job as a deterrent, since they couldn't relocate and would not be capable of being there for me when I wanted. Actually, I perfer (not demand but close) that a sub/slave not have career goals and I don't want them to work. I guess differerent strokes for different folks.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 9:53:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OceanSlave Someone else said it, I think -- that this is something important enough to wait and sacrifice for. If fifteen bucks a month is too much for someone, then maybe the time on the computer would be better spent taking a part-time job, in that case. If someone is serious about finding a partner, you'll find it in your budget. Look at it this way. Everything costs money. $15 here for this and $15 here for that. For some people, $15 is a big chunk of their budget. Do you realise that a lot of people live paycheck to paycheck? And this is not their fault in many cases. Not everyone gets the same opportunities in life. Essentially, your message could be construed as those who can't afford to pay to find happiness shouldn't be entitled to do so. I'm sure that this is not your message but it's awfully close. Much too close for my liking. If you have disposable income, do what many of us have done. Click on the support link at the top of this page. And again, as a newcomer to our forum, welcome. But please keep your judgements for when you've had a little more time to get to know this crowd. - LA

OceanSlave -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 9:56:00 PM)
Jewel, my posting was very courteous and polite. Why do you attack people so personally? I am a financial planner. I just tell it like I see it. If you disagree, please say so in a polite manner. Attorneys and counselors will tell you that financial stress is the most common cause of marital / relationship stresses. Again, if someone truly is serious about seeking a partner, $15 a month is nothing. Beer money. Maybe it's a matter of priorities? If someone spends 20 hours a week online, couldn't they devote part of that to a part-time job? And I deal with people who have to declare BKs, and often end up on public assistance. As for me, I don't "judge" someone based on current financial stability, but I question two things - are they at a point in their life where they can capably engage in a serious relationship, and do they have the quality of character to make the effort to support and better themselves? And please, please, leave the personal attacks at the door, just because we happen to disagree.

OceanSlave -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 9:58:08 PM)
LadyAngelika, check my profile for my registration date. I've been around a long time - about the same time as you. I only recently decided to start posting in these forums. And I have to say it's not the warmest place in the world.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:03:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OceanSlave LadyAngelika, check my profile for my registration date. I've been around a long time. I only recently decided to check out these forums. And I have to say it's not the warmest place in the world. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with the forums. I found it to be a very warm place. Then again, I eased my way in. Perhaps give it a little more then 10 posts to make a judgement. Judging by the history of your 9 posts to date, you have been participating in the more "rant filled" threads. Look around and you'll see there are pretty warm and welcoming people. I wouldn't have been hanging around this space so long if there weren't. Let me welcome you to the threads and I hope from this point on you will have more positive experiences. - LA

LadyAngelika -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:06:09 PM)
quote: are they at a point in their life where they can capably engage in a serious relationship, and do they have the quality of character to make the effort to support and better themselves? Maybe not, but then again maybe. Less fortunate people have successful relationships too. - LA

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:06:22 PM)
quote: Jewel, my posting was very courteous and polite. Why do you attack people so personally? I am a financial planner. I just tell it like I see it. If you disagree, please say so in a polite manner. If it appeared that I was attacking you personally I do apologize as it was not meant to, I was, in fact, denouncing your belief system. Jewel

ScooterTrash -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:08:07 PM)
OceanSlave I don't see where anyone is personally attacking you, they are simply stating that different people have different priorities and likewise their income may not allow them to engage in extra activities if there is a charge. I and many others will understand what you are saying and that's great for you, but for others it simply isn't that way. Diversity is what makes it interesting, is kind of why we are in the lifestyle in the first place..hmmm.

Padriag -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:15:28 PM)
There are a couple things wrong with your logic Ocean. First, not everyone here is here to "hook up". I'm not. I came here at the invitation of three different friends who suggested this place to me because of the discussion forums. They all thought I would enjoy them, an I have. I'm not going to pay $15 a month for discussion forums and a chat room. I can (and do) chat on Yahoo for free. I participate in discussion forums elsewhere, though they have not been as enjoyable as what I have found here. It would be a shame if I felt it necessary to leave here because it turned into yet another pay site. If you are finding the forums a bit hostile at the moment, try to see it from their point of view. Though you didn't mean to, you've put a lot of people on the defensive. You're right, many people don't manage their money as well as they should, that's reality. Pointing that out in your argument just puts people on the defensive, and thus the reaction you are getting. It'll blow over quickly enough, but you might want to try an be a lil more tactful in your future posts. Now that was just friendly advice.

OceanSlave -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:19:35 PM)
Thanks Padriag. I didn't realize that would generate such an emotional reaction. I didn't start the topic -- someone else said $15 a month is too much for some people, and the financial planner in me kicked in. I counsel people about this all the time. Put your partying/beer money in the bank!!! Postpone marriage until your finances are a little more certain. But it is human nature to be impetuous, and I have come to understand that. I guess I'm seeing a bit of that reflected in this forum.

SweetDommes -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:30:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OceanSlave Thanks Padriag. I didn't realize that would generate such an emotional reaction. I didn't start the topic -- someone else said $15 a month is too much for some people, and the financial planner in me kicked in. I counsel people about this all the time. Put your partying/beer money in the bank!!! Postpone marriage until your finances are a little more certain. But it is human nature to be impetuous, and I have come to understand that. I guess I'm seeing a bit of that reflected in this forum. We don't party or drink much at all (maybe one 6-pack a month) - but I still wouldn't pay $15/month for this site because we are saving to buy a house and I'm going to need a new car soon. No matter how helpful this site has been in finding potential boys, or how much I enjoy the discussion boards, we can't afford $15 a month and it isn't because we don't budget - we budget like crazy and noen of our extra money could go to this - it all goes into the bank. So not everyone who can't spare the money to pay for participation on a site like this is squandering their money away - please keep that in mind.

OceanSlave -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:41:11 PM)
Sweet Dommes, you enjoy arguing, don't you? I don't say that to be rude, but it's an observation. I used to be on the City Council in a fairly small town, when I was in my late 20s. We had one member who we called "Mr. No". The reason was that no matter what you presented to him, he always found a reason to disagree or argue with you. He'd bend over backward just to find something to counter you with. We could come with an ordinance declaring that the sky is blue, and he'd find some angle with which to disagree ("well, technically, sometimes the sky is reddish..."). It was a knee-jerk reaction he had to almost anything, and we all knew it. Some people are wired this way. Perhaps -- and don't take this wrong -- you may fall into this category. Earlier, I said the forum areas should always be free. (Perhaps some of the email abuse could be curbed by requiring a fee for that service.) Yet you still contended that the forum areas should be free - which was my point. It is good that you are saving to buy a house! Like I said, everything is a matter of priorities. Quality begets quality. If someone is serious about finding a life partner, they'll do what it takes. If $15 a month is too much, then either they're not ready for that level of commitment, or else they're not serious enough about making the effort. (For ex., how many hours a week are they online, and couldn't some of that be used for a part time job, if they're really that cash-strapped.) For now, as this is a free site, I wish everyone would sign a "no complaining" discalimer when they sign up! That is, since they're not paying a penny, they have to take the good with the bad. And that means, Dommes will be swamped with email from men unable or unwilling to read their profiles. So: no pay, no complain! ;)

SweetDommes -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:45:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OceanSlave Sweet Dommes, you enjoy arguing, don't you? I don't say that to be rude, but it's an observation. Some people are wired this way. Perhaps -- and don't take this wrong -- you may fall into this category. Earlier, I said the forum areas should always be free. (Perhaps some of the email abuse could be curbed by requiring a fee for that service.) Yet you still contended that the forum areas should be free - which was my point. Since you don't know me, and obviously have only been reading my posts from the last day or two, I will accept that you aren't intending to be rude. However, if you would care to go back and read other posts that I have made, you will see that you are dead wrong. I was making a point because I had a valid one - that is not arguing, that is not a "knee-jerk reaction" - that is throwing out a valid point into a discussion. If you feel that makes me a 'knee-jerk reactionist who has to argue with everything' then that woudl be your problem, not mine.

onceburned -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 10:58:58 PM)
quote: only recently decided to start posting in these forums. And I have to say it's not the warmest place in the world. When I first started posting here I was impressed by the warmth and helpfulness of the people here. Later on I was surprised when vicious exchanges took place - it seemed so out of character. But as others have noted, negativity begets negativity. You came on here insulting people and still seem to have an axe to grind. I don't agree that charging $15 a month is going to make this place any better. As far as I have been able to see, it is the best place out there. Lady Angelika is right. Spend some time getting to know us and letting us get to know you before slinging insults and criticism - I think you will find greater tolerance for your viewpoints then.

OceanSlave -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 11:01:15 PM)
DDarthdaVer, That's fine, as long as everyone remembers: "You get what you pay for". You pay for nothing, then don't whine about it. That's my opinion. CollarMe reminds me of the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special. Peppermint Patty invited herself to Charlie Brown's to mooch off him for Thanksgiving dinner. When the dinner sucked, she complained non-stop. Never mind that it was free... A good lesson for many of the whiners here. Ok, let's keep it free, but don't complain when you're slammed with emails.

SweetDommes -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 11:06:46 PM)
The thing is, I'm not complaining about the site - I love this site. What I have complained about is that people can't/won't read or follow directions - that is because, in general, people suck in bad ways. It happens here, it happens in bars, it happens on other sites, it happens at work, while driving, where ever. I have never complained about the site; I have complained about some of the people on the site - I haven't even complained about all of them, just the ones who suck. The ones who message me with inappropriate messages and have appologised when I pointed out that they should probably read our profile more carefully are NOT the ones that I have complained about, and in fact, I picked up another potential tonight that hadn't read the profile carefully enough, but he recovered quite well after. I have every right to complain about the stupidity of people no matter where I run into it, just like you have the right to not read my complaints and move on. Everyone on here has that right - you don't have to use it, but you shouldn't take it away from others.

OceanSlave -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 11:11:41 PM)
And what happens when someone is arrested for making contact with someone who's underage? As a free site, the liklihood of that happening here is much greater. As a free site anyone can create a profile -- and a lot of mischief. It's happened. It will keep happening. I'm frankly very surprised that a site which is adult in nature allows open menbership. (yes, I know there are others that do the same.) Credit card verifications minimize the chances of that.

SweetDommes -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 11:14:34 PM)
The key here being - if someone misrepresents their age, the other person must take them at face value until meeting with them. That is why the traps that police set for pedophiles work - someone who IS legal pretends to be under age and because the predator/pedophile attempts to make the connection anyway, it is illegal. Someone who is not legal, but claims to be, takes that responsibility off of the other party until their true age is found out.

OceanSlave -> RE: Make this a paid site! (4/9/2005 11:18:51 PM)
lol Sweet Dommes, you argued / countered me again! See my post above, about people who instinctively disagree with whatever argument is presented to them. I've been in the professional world as a financial planner for 15 years, and I see that all the time. You fit the mold perfectly. That's not an insult, just an observation.

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