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RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:20:39 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		now, Harley, be nice and wave "hi" to our remote viewers




_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to HarleyKitty69)
Profile   Post #: 561
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:21:44 AM   
kitbaloo


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		Gender Dictionary

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend
with the boys.

BUTT (but) n
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes
look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, home run, or
goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male
bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ree-moat kon-trohl) n
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 min.

RELIABILITY (ree-lie-a-bill-itty) n
Female: Being where one says they will be when they say they'll be there.
Male: Whatever.

(in reply to jayded34)
Profile   Post #: 562
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:24:18 AM   
kitbaloo


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. "Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane............"

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story about the car going into the woods, the undressing, Aunt Jane laying down on the back seat. Then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

(in reply to kitbaloo)
Profile   Post #: 563
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:28:52 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		oh please stop ...laughing soooooo hard 

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to kitbaloo)
Profile   Post #: 564
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:30:36 AM   
kitbaloo


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		laughter is very healthy for the soul :D

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 565
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:30:54 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		Oh this thread has certainly become much more entertaining than 20 pages or so ago.  Keep up the great work ladies!

_____________________________

4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 566
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:32:21 AM   
HarleyKitty69


Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline 		There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor.

The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."

The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN.

This time he says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."

So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returns.

Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears.

_____________________________

I am who I am
A Sammy to no end

Sarcasm, just another service I provide


.....I am who I am .......

Sammie Service Slave with a Hippie ScooterTrash Attitude

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 567
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:32:35 AM   
kitbaloo


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		Top Ten Things NOT To Say To A Girl's Father

10. Could you show me how you used to spank her?
9. If I told her I love her, would she put out?
8. I got my license today.
7. Two bucks says she's a C cup.
6. You taught her how to swallow didn't you?
5. We must have something in common 'cause she calls me daddy too.
4. Hi. I'm Bill but my friends all call me 'back door Bill'.
3. I think being sexually active since 11 has really helped to mature me.
2. "Come inside?" Gosh, you sound just like your daughter.
1. Tell me, does your wife just lay there during sex too?

(in reply to kitbaloo)
Profile   Post #: 568
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:34:48 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		kitbaloo    ............


(in reply to kitbaloo)
Profile   Post #: 569
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:35:54 AM   
HarleyKitty69


Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline 		A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that is was time to get married again.

She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened
The door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had
No arms or legs.

"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow said.
"Just look at you! You have no legs!"

The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed??"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the door
Bell, didn't I?"

The wedding is scheduled for Saturday...

_____________________________

I am who I am
A Sammy to no end

Sarcasm, just another service I provide


.....I am who I am .......

Sammie Service Slave with a Hippie ScooterTrash Attitude

(in reply to kitbaloo)
Profile   Post #: 570
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:37:09 AM   
kitbaloo


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		Guy goes into a bar and sits down to order a drink when he notices a jar of money on the shelf behind the bar.  Curious, he asks the bartender about it.  The bartender explains to him that if he puts a dollar into the jar the bartender will give him three tasks, if he successfully completes these tasks he will receive all the money. 

Guy shrugs his shoulders and takes his drink, and a few more following and figures 'what the hell' and puts a dollar in the jar.  Bartender approaches him and explains his tasks.

1.  (pointing out the big bouncer at the end of the bar) Gotta knock the bouncer out in one punch.
2.  (motioning to the cellar stairs) There's a dog downstairs with a bad tooth, gotta pull it.
3.  (motioning to the stairs leading upstairs) There's a 98 year old lady that lives upstairs, you have to f*ck her.

Guy goes up behind the bouncer, lucky punch, knocks him out.  Guy then goes downstairs to the cellar and a lot of growling and barking could be heard, upon return to the bar the guy asks the bartender "Ok, where's the old lady with the bad tooth?"

(in reply to kitbaloo)
Profile   Post #: 571
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:38:32 AM   
HarleyKitty69


Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline 		I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the
week. Early one morning, I  received a call from the doctor's office
to
tell
me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only
just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was  already
around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took  about 35 minutes, so I
didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a
little

extra effort over  hygiene when making such visits, but this time I
wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed
upstairs,
threw
off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink,
and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least
presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some
clothes, hopped  in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in
the waiting room for only  a few minutes  when I was called in.
Knowing
the procedure, as I'm  sure you do, I hopped up on the  table,
looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in
Paris or some other place a million miles away.  I was a little
surprised
when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning,
haven't we?"   I didn't respond. After  the appointment, I  heaved a
sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal . Some
shopping, cleaning,  cooking.  After school when my 6 year old 
daughter

was playing, she called out from the  bathroom, "Mommy, where's my
washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She
replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my
glitter and sparkles saved inside it."



_____________________________

I am who I am
A Sammy to no end

Sarcasm, just another service I provide


.....I am who I am .......

Sammie Service Slave with a Hippie ScooterTrash Attitude

(in reply to kitbaloo)
Profile   Post #: 572
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:43:02 AM   
HarleyKitty69


Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline 		waves hello to the audience.......
please post here something useless

_____________________________

I am who I am
A Sammy to no end

Sarcasm, just another service I provide


.....I am who I am .......

Sammie Service Slave with a Hippie ScooterTrash Attitude
Profile   Post #: 573
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:43:07 AM   
kitbaloo


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		18 Signs You're Flat Broke

1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"

2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.

3. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

4. You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.

5. Long distance companies don't call you to switch anymore.

5. You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

6. Your rob Peter... and then rob Paul.

7. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

8. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

9. You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice.

10. McDonald's supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

11. At communion you go back for seconds.

12. You wash your toilet paper.

13. You have to save up to be poor.

14. You're in college.

15. On thanksgiving your dad would bring home a picture of a thanksgiving meal.

16. You owe yourself money.

17. You are sterilizing your urine for reconsumption.

18. Your imaginary friend has more money than you.
Profile   Post #: 574
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 11:46:37 AM   
kitbaloo


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.

Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. This is what I'm doing wrong.

Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.

There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.

The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization. (For instance, The Murphy Center for Codification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted to IBM, GM, AT&T ...).

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

People are always available for work in the past tense.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.

No one gets sick on Wednesdays.

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

An "acceptable" level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own.

Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.

(in reply to kitbaloo)
Profile   Post #: 575
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 12:08:19 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		4 nuns died in a car accident. when they got to the pearly gates they were each asked a question...the 1st nun was asked if she had ever looked at a penis....she said she had. she was told to wash her eyes with holy water and go on in....the 2nd nun was asked have you ever touched a penis and she said she had and was told to dip her hand in the holy water and go in....the 4th nun pushed her way past the 3rd nun and said.....if you think i'm gargling with that after she sticks her ass it in you'er crazy!!

(in reply to kitbaloo)
Profile   Post #: 576
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 12:17:18 PM   
jayded34


Posts: 293
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		*i think i tinkled a little*

_____________________________

You don't love a woman because she's beautiful,
She is beautiful because you love her.
~ by Anonymous ~

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~ by Lao Tzu ~

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)
Profile   Post #: 577
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 12:51:57 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

Oh this thread has certainly become much more entertaining than 20 pages or so ago.  Keep up the great work ladies!

glad you enjoyed the 1st act - stick around after the intermission for part 2!!


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)
Profile   Post #: 578
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 1:09:57 PM   
HarleyKitty69


Posts: 4906
Joined: 10/22/2006
Status: offline 		which will be sunday .. since I am heading out of town..
see ya 'all sunday for part two...
samba keep whippersnapper uuhmmm wipherfeet in line for me
*giggles*

_____________________________

I am who I am
A Sammy to no end

Sarcasm, just another service I provide


.....I am who I am .......

Sammie Service Slave with a Hippie ScooterTrash Attitude

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 579
RE: subs who don't know their place - 4/27/2007 3:58:42 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		note first to be able to put manners into someone* not manors* you'd need to know how to spell the word correctly first.
quote:

ORIGINAL: whipingherfeet

sub harleykitty i would love to whip your soles of your feet.it would put manors on you.as you scream nono not feet the whip would fly .then you would be a well manor sub


_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to whipingherfeet)
Profile   Post #: 580
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