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RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 2:19:29 PM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline 		Greetings Domina
I understand what you are saying, yet, I feel that perhaps you are not understanding what I am saying.
 
Nothing is ever so black and white as to cover all the bases of what could possibly happen in this lifetime. Someone asks me if I use a safe word. I say ‘why would I need one?” My answer automatically spurns a slew of ‘oh my gosh, don’t you care about your life’ . It has nothing to do with whether or not I fear for my life or not.
 
You ask questions that require an answer based only on trust and emotions; not on factual reality. Ask me a question that has a basis in reality, and I am sure that you will get an answer closer to what you yourself would say.
 
Would I allow Master to kill me? I answer the same. I do NOT ALLOW Master anything; it is not my place to do so.
 
If Master were not acting right ( meaning that there was something oviously wrong that had never been there in the 4 years that we knew each other ), and he suddenly picked up a knife and came after me; would I stand there and do nothing? Absolutly not, I would defend myself. Simply because Master has always stressed that my health is number one.
 
Would I allow Master to beat and use me in any way he choose? Once again, I DO NOT ALLOW anything; it is not my place to do so.
 
Can Master beat and use me in any way he chooses? Yes, he can.
 
Would Master risk my life simply because he says he can? No, he would and could not. He stresses over and over again to ME that anytime I feel in fear of my life, I am to defend myself at all costs.
 
We do not take our own safety so lightly; we just look at things a bit differently.
 
I hope this helps you in understanding a bit more.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 3:27:52 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

Greetings Domina
I understand what you are saying, yet, I feel that perhaps you are not understanding what I am saying.
 
Nothing is ever so black and white as to cover all the bases of what could possibly happen in this lifetime. Someone asks me if I use a safe word. I say ‘why would I need one?” My answer automatically spurns a slew of ‘oh my gosh, don’t you care about your life’ . It has nothing to do with whether or not I fear for my life or not.
 
You ask questions that require an answer based only on trust and emotions; not on factual reality. Ask me a question that has a basis in reality, and I am sure that you will get an answer closer to what you yourself would say.
 
Would I allow Master to kill me? I answer the same. I do NOT ALLOW Master anything; it is not my place to do so.
 
If Master were not acting right ( meaning that there was something oviously wrong that had never been there in the 4 years that we knew each other ), and he suddenly picked up a knife and came after me; would I stand there and do nothing? Absolutly not, I would defend myself. Simply because Master has always stressed that my health is number one.
 
Would I allow Master to beat and use me in any way he choose? Once again, I DO NOT ALLOW anything; it is not my place to do so.
 
Can Master beat and use me in any way he chooses? Yes, he can.
 
Would Master risk my life simply because he says he can? No, he would and could not. He stresses over and over again to ME that anytime I feel in fear of my life, I am to defend myself at all costs.
 
We do not take our own safety so lightly; we just look at things a bit differently.
 
I hope this helps you in understanding a bit more.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa


Thank you so much for writing that, Melissa. You absolutely made the points that I have been trying to - though unsuccesfully, so it seems. I'm not talking about hypothetical "what ifs" here. I know how stupid it sounds to say "What if your master tried to kill you?" because most people will just answer "He never would do that, that's why I'm able to give up that much trust to him." But this is what has never made sense to me: if you choose a master that would never kill you, harm you permanently, maim you, etc., then why is it so vital that people know "he has the right to do so if he wishes" ? I get the impression that people like to brag, in a sense, about how they are specifically "NOT SSC" because their master has the absolute right to life over them but they will also say, as you've said above, that they are under orders to protect their health and life above all even if that were to be protecting it from a suddenly psychotic personality flip in your normally calm master. So, if you chose to give up this right to life to your master with the understanding that he "can" do whatever he wants but he is not "going to" try to kill you - and then one day he just changes his mind and tries to kill you and you admit that in that case you would defend yourself and NOT just go along with the killing during his moment of psychosis - then I ask what is the point of saying that he has the right to take your life? I mean, if it were not a moment of temporary insanity but instead and very well thought out decision, presented to you rationally, where he sat down and said "Melissa, I love you but I've decided you need to die now. And I'll sure get a lot of pleasure from it, it would make me really happy." Would you just say "Yes, Master" and let him proceed to do it by whatever means he had in mind? I can't imagine you would. So again, what's the point in saying that he has the right to when the whole basis of you handing over that right to him is in the knowing he'd never do it?

Am I making any sense?

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to jauntyone)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 3:33:22 PM   
nolimitslaveCA


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline 		Mellissa you have articulated very well my feelings as well thank you so much.

boy
darrion

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 5:06:04 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		BTW Melissa, I totally have a crush on you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to nolimitslaveCA)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 5:26:52 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Damn, that is going to totally end the thread.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 5:59:55 PM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline 		Greetings Domina
 
You ask why then would I say that he has the right to do anything he wishes; if I would defend my life if the need arose?
 
Let me see if I can try and explain it. During my childhood, I remember an incident with my father; I had wanted to do something and he said straight out that I could not do it. Well, being the rebellious little brat that I was, I told my father to kind of umm...stick it where the sun don;t shine " Now, it's important to note that my father is a marine; I am a military brat. You did NOT talk back to my father. Ever. I am afraid to this day and age to still speak back to my father. Anyway, needless to say, my father, right there, in front of about 50 people, turned me over his knee and gave me the worse whipping I can ever remember. Later, I remember someone asking me why I allowed my father to humiliate me in such a way. My answer was simple. One, he was my father, he did not need my permission to do anything. And two. because he could.
 
On that same note, my father was a big believer in women knowing how to defend themselves. We were taught from a very early age how to do so. And, we were taught not to lose.
 
So, here we have a father that can beat the shit out of his kid simply because it's his right as a father to do so; yet also knowing that at any time, that same child can turn around and take his life if she chose to do so.
 
I give Master the right to do anything to me. He has ABSOLUTE authority over me in all areas. And it's a right that is not mine to take back. That may be confusing, but if you think about the rights of parents, it's not all that confusing. I am not saying that our relationship is that of parent/child; only that that is the best example that I can find to explain the reasoning in that statement.
 
quote:

  BTW Melissa, I totally have a crush on you

Greetings LuckyAlbatross
 
LOL Master and I will be down south in December
 
I wish you all well
 
melissa

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 6:43:20 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings melissa,

thank you for so eloquently putting that into words. for me, it is a very difficult thing to verbalize, and your post really touched me because of that :)

hope you are well.
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to jauntyone)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 6:49:10 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass



I know how stupid it sounds to say "What if your master tried to kill you?" because most people will just answer "He never would do that, that's why I'm able to give up that much trust to him." But this is what has never made sense to me: if you choose a master that would never kill you, harm you permanently, maim you, etc., then why is it so vital that people know "he has the right to do so if he wishes" ? I get the impression that people like to brag, in a sense, about how they are specifically "NOT SSC" because their master has the absolute right to life over them but they will also say, as you've said above, that they are under orders to protect their health and life above all even if that were to be protecting it from a suddenly psychotic personality flip in your normally calm master. So, if you chose to give up this right to life to your master with the understanding that he "can" do whatever he wants but he is not "going to" try to kill you - and then one day he just changes his mind and tries to kill you and you admit that in that case you would defend yourself and NOT just go along with the killing during his moment of psychosis - then I ask what is the point of saying that he has the right to take your life? I mean, if it were not a moment of temporary insanity but instead and very well thought out decision, presented to you rationally, where he sat down and said "Melissa, I love you but I've decided you need to die now. And I'll sure get a lot of pleasure from it, it would make me really happy." Would you just say "Yes, Master" and let him proceed to do it by whatever means he had in mind? I can't imagine you would. So again, what's the point in saying that he has the right to when the whole basis of you handing over that right to him is in the knowing he'd never do it?

Am I making any sense?


realizing this post was not directed to me, i just wanted to say that i feel the above makes perfect sense, and i've always thought much the same. if a slave knows that because of ultimate trust, love, shared limits, or whatever, that her Owner will never subject her to x, y, or z, then it is rather meaningless to say that he has the right to do x, y, or z. it may very well be the truth, but it's a moot point in the relationship.

when i make such statements (like, my Master may do whatever he wills with me), it's partially to give others an understanding of my reality, and partially to reinforce that understanding within myself. mentally or emotionally i still struggle with my slavery at times, and stating (or typing) these things can be helpful.

my Master and i do not share all the same limits or values. i also know that he is certainly capable of intentionally doing me great harm, even taking my life, if i ever made the fatal mistake of pushing those buttons in him. and unlike melissa's and perhaps most Masters, He has never given me a standing order to protect his property (me). quite the opposite actually...he's conditioned me to be non-resistant, which means that if a dangerous situation arises i am not to fight, or run, or scream, but simply take it as best i can, without complaint. that is the sort of slave he wants. now if he were the source of danger, being non-resistant would only be that much more important. so if he wakes up one day and decides to slit my throat, well i'll just hope it's what he truly wants, tell him "i love you", shut my eyes and dream of england, as they say.

it's in no way bragging or attempting to come across as hardcore....it's truly laughable how far removed i am from hardcore...it's just doing as any slave does and attempting to be the best slave for my Master i can be.


(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 6:57:44 PM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline 		Greetings daddysprop
 
I will be honest and say that the complete surrender you have for your owner is that which I hope to attain one day. I don't believe it has anything to do with being a pushover, or docile to the point of not having any self-preservation; but more along the lines of knowing exactly where we are in the world, and happy in our own little space  
 
I wish you and your owner the very best on the beautiful day
 
melissa

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 7:03:43 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

Greetings daddysprop
 
I will be honest and say that the complete surrender you have for your owner is that which I hope to attain one day. I don't believe it has anything to do with being a pushover, or docile to the point of not having any self-preservation; but more along the lines of knowing exactly where we are in the world, and happy in our own little space  
 
I wish you and your owner the very best on the beautiful day
 
melissa


thank you melissa...i wish you and yours the same. :) you're right, it is about knowing and especially accepting where we are in the world, and through this acceptance hopefully we reach peace.

(in reply to jauntyone)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 9:14:40 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I think though that we are talking about the same house painted blue on one side and white on the other one says it's a blue house the other says it's a white house and both are correct and incorrect at the same time.

To restate the idea as simply as I have ever been able to boil it down
You can give the absolute right to your life and death to a man like Ghandi without ever having fear. Because it is relatively easy to give over a power you know they will never use, because it would violate their demonstrated values.

The problem comes in with reality in that you can never know 100% that your partner would never do X,Y or Z because we have all been sure a boyfreind/ girlfreind/ partner would never X,Y or Z and had them turn around and do just that.
Trust is about our ability to predict another person's behavior, and that is never 100%.

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: SSC - 3/29/2007 10:29:27 PM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline 		Greetings Master Archer
 
How perfectly stated. Thank you
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: SSC - 3/30/2007 7:40:56 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Greetings mixie,
 
I think that SSC is a good starting point for someone new
looking for guidelines and education.  From what I have
observed, RACK is more common with people as they gain
knowledge and experience.  Neither are absolute in setting
parameters for people.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: SSC - 3/30/2007 8:39:54 AM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
so if he wakes up one day and decides to slit my throat, well i'll just hope it's what he truly wants, tell him "i love you", shut my eyes and dream of england, as they say.

it's in no way bragging or attempting to come across as hardcore....it's truly laughable how far removed i am from hardcore...it's just doing as any slave does and attempting to be the best slave for my Master i can be.



its funny you mention this, because i can relate, mostly.

once during knife play D decided that He was going to bring it down fast and hard, toward my neck. i thought He was going to kill me. honest to god, ready to let go of my life [well, because so often He will whisper in my ear "its time to die" twisted? ----thrilling!]

i closed my eyes and exhaled as it came to my skin ..... and stopped.

i open them, slowly, not quite able to process what happened. D looks at me, so surprised, "you would have let me" He says

"i am supposed to" i reply "if thats going to be what makes you happy"

He stares at me, wondering how to interperit it. suicidal or faithful....

"good girl" and walks away.

_____________________________


"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: SSC - 3/30/2007 10:27:31 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		So the reality of it is this...to harm, for the most part, we must have the intent to do so. And when doing what we do...we don't really have the intent to cause permanent damage. So really it's all good.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: SSC - 3/30/2007 10:30:31 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
So the reality of it is this...to harm, for the most part, we must have the intent to do so. And when doing what we do...we don't really have the intent to cause permanent damage. So really it's all good.

Intent is a part but not the whole.

I can still kill someone by having a car accident, even if I didn't intend on it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: SSC - 3/30/2007 11:46:31 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		What a lot of people are not thinking about is that most of the posters here have moderate, if not extensive experience. SCC is vital to a lot of newbies who are drawn to this lifestyle, but don't know what their limits are yet. For a Dom to say he practices SCC, that has become a code word that even a newbie can understand; that they are with someone who has their concerns and wellbeing at heart. Once a relationship develops, or someone gains a certain level of experience, the word really ceases to have a meaning of any importance.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: SSC - 3/30/2007 11:50:05 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic
For a Dom to say he practices SCC, that has become a code word that even a newbie can understand; that they are with someone who has their concerns and wellbeing at heart.

But this is a false assumption.  It could and often does simply mean that a person knows what to say and when to say it to gain a sense of trust.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: SSC - 3/30/2007 12:33:16 PM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

What a lot of people are not thinking about is that most of the posters here have moderate, if not extensive experience. SCC is vital to a lot of newbies who are drawn to this lifestyle, but don't know what their limits are yet. For a Dom to say he practices SCC, that has become a code word that even a newbie can understand; that they are with someone who has their concerns and wellbeing at heart. Once a relationship develops, or someone gains a certain level of experience, the word really ceases to have a meaning of any importance.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

Greetings Master Dominic
 
I disagree that SSC is vital to new comers who don't know yet what their limits are. Careful choosing of partners; not rushing too fast; and using common sense ARE VITAL. SSC is not.

New comers need education. Not words that give a false sense of security.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: SSC - 3/30/2007 12:36:41 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
If someone came to me and was a newcomer and said they were SSC - I would just nod and say, that we weren't compatable.  If I heard someone telling a newcomer they were SSC... I would tell the newcomer to run to the hills.
 
It produces a false sense of security.  I would prefere a person who understood the risks.


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 60
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