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RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 6:03:52 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Uhhhhhhh... the OP's comment was regarding those who are   "wanting to move in the same day you meet"...not just meet or even fuck!  Dang...we're not talking just a burger or even 'intent'; we're talking MOVING IN!
 
I dunno... I don't think I'd even think twice; I'd just cut and run.  In fact...it takes a lot less than that for me to run, actually.  And dammit...I think it'd be great to find a partner. 
 
I still expect to support myself (but don't have the means to support others)
bear


I know...that's what was so scary....we had just met.  Had a nice dinner and a nice walk/talk session in the park.  When I said goodnight, she asked when I wanted her to move in...and she ....was...serious! 

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 6:04:08 PM   
BeatMeDaily


Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		yes, i have experienced the lightning fast moving in, and then witnessed the same exit speed a few weeks later.
One came with a following wave of phone calls looking for her. (some broken heart )
I'm the open home type and have let several stay.
They all lived out of their vehicles and used other peoples computers to make the next move.
They were all quite open about it and I didn't suffer any for it.  Was fun and interesting actually.
Maybe it's a fun lifestyle...

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 6:16:52 PM   
hawkwolf7


Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		Damn! I thought someone had finally solved that ultimate of Holy Grails... the fusion of Star Trek and BDSM!

< Message edited by hawkwolf7 -- 3/27/2007 6:32:36 PM >

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 6:23:39 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		While I agree with many other on here about it probably being a "take care of me and support me syndrome"..sometimes one has to think, could they be simply, just desperate creatures who do not know how to function without a Master to guide them ?...Tempting

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 6:24:03 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Whiplash, if you talk to many of the Dominant women on here, you will find that most of us
have experienced what I call "submissive frenzy".
It is very common with submissive men, that are often desperate to have a D/s relationship.
I can understand the desires, but most of these quick and hot relationships seem doomed from the start.
Normally, you are not going to have a long lasting quality relationship with a virtual stranger.
If you become involved in this sort of relationship, just don't be surprised if it does not last.
I am not sure if it is more desperate than longing....and I can totally understand the longing.
See if she is willing to slow down and take the time to really get to know you as a person, first.
Good luck and keep us posted!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 6:33:52 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Can you read "SugarDaddy"?
 or  "Help, I need rescuing!"
 ...Desperate?     Homeless?     ...golddigger?
 
I'd say buyer beware, cuz that girl’s gonna cost someone LOTS of money!  Unfortunately some people think of 'submission' as even easier than getting married; and I think some women think of it as an easy way 'out'.  Sad.

Most of the time, maybe 99%, I'd agree with the above assessment.  However, there is that rare event when two people meet and things just really do "click."  Mind you, in my nearly 40 years that's only happened to me twice... but it has happened.  So personally I view it as a judgement call made on an individual basis, but then I also trust my judgement.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 6:35:20 PM   
Rafters


Posts: 266
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline 		If you've rolled out your A game, you can accidently trigger an Epiphany in the unknowingly deprived.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epiphany_(feeling)

The side effect of inspiring a mind blowingly religious feeling of stepping into a bigger and better plane of existence, is that their previous existence will suddenly appears soul destroyingly drab, boring and "sucky".

It's like pulling a prisoner out of her dark cramped crowded cell she shares with retards and slapping fairy wings on her back, so she can ride unicorns on rainbows, bounce from fluffy cloud to fluffy cloud, swim in chocolate rivers and debate the meaning of life with God. Before pulling off her wings and locking her back in that hole for the rest of her life.
Imagine the prospect of a lifetime of sub-drop, condensed into the time to make an impulsive decision. Don't be surprised if there's kicking and screaming.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 6:35:38 PM   
hawkwolf7


Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adanaydi
...
her school of thought is when it feels right, it probably is, and maybe one shouldn't be second guessing it or sweating over petty stuff...



This struck me as significant, and worth considering. But, I want to start by saying that I intend no criticism of adanaydi; rather I applaud her honesty and integrity.

In contrast, I come from the opposite school of thought (mostly)... think things through, go slow, keep it real. So two schools; one says to lead with your feelings, the other says to lead with your thoughts. Ultimately, who is to say which approach will attain greater success in life? Or greater happiness? In all honesty, I cannot know. But I can say that I prefer to interact with the world in my peculiar way.

So, if both the dominant and submissive are of the "lead with your feelings" school, then perhaps moving at "sub/dom light speed" makes sense. Or if both are in the "lead with your thoughts" school, then moving at "thought speed" is the best approach.

But, if the two don't match, then I think it is pretty clear that there will be problems. And, at least for me, the problems would be not worth the investment.

HawkWolf

< Message edited by hawkwolf7 -- 3/27/2007 6:51:24 PM >

(in reply to adanaydi)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 6:51:48 PM   
kiyari


Posts: 631
Status: offline 		Oh! LOL and So Cool!!!

Not inconceivable either... [B5 fan, here... and per JMS THAT came to him as epiphany]  

(in reply to Rafters)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 7:02:23 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

In one word:

desperate

That's not desperate. 

Desperate is when they show up for the date with a full U-Haul trailer behind their car.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 7:03:27 PM   
AmazonLady


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/25/2007
Status: offline 		In my quest to find the right Dominant man for me I have been quite picky. I want a match that will both content me and push my limits. At the same time I will not just jump into such a trusting position of D/s with just any person. I must know you, talk to you, share communication with you, learn your limits and you mine.

The very idea of just jumping into a sudden relationship, much less move right in and share a home and space and privacy - well really... if D doesn't want you to have privacy - then you have none. It would scare me shitless. Giving your will, your control, and your body vessel over to D MEANS something and should be thought about first. For myself. And I would expect my D to want to get to know me as well me know him before he commands me, controls me, lets me pleasure his every desire ...

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 7:05:04 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		too funny stef.  How about the ones that are talking moving and marriage prior to
RealTime meetings?
That is very common!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 7:30:45 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
Desperate is when they show up for the date with a full U-Haul trailer behind their car.

~stef

But isn't that what lesbians do on their second date? :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Sub light speed - 3/27/2007 7:58:55 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		The ones who exercise restraint (not *that* kind, you prevert).

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Sub light speed - 3/28/2007 7:40:05 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I'd see these subs as expecting you to save them from their unhappy life and existence.
They seek a Knight in Shining Armor, not a Dominant or mate.

I'd figure if they are not going to let me get to know them before I act like they are a part of my full life that I can't make that happen.
If I'm so right and the perfect mate for someone there's no hurry, as we've got the whole rest of our lives to explore that.
I think often these people miss the beginning and the slow melding process that solidifies your union by rushing past it.
They miss the whole Oh I can't wait to see him again, or the empty bed and longing they'd feel on nights the person they are dating isn't there.
I think relationships are like sewing a quilt.
The more you take the time to focus on the details of constructing healthy patterns the more ornate and beautiful & warm the quilt becomes.
I think those that rush just want to sew two sheets together at the seems and then they wonder why it's not a thing of ornate beauty or warming them too well instead of realizing the time taken in the 2 becoming more of a 1 is what causes that.
I think any one who wants to move in with someone in less than a year should really reconsider their motivations.
If it's due to convenience, money, or other extenuating life circumstance more than being at a point where they are ready to meld their lives together with someone they should reconsider and not take the easy way out.
In the end it's really not easy at all it only complicates things.
suzanne

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Sub light speed - 3/28/2007 9:56:41 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		The only thing I will say on this subject. I was suprised to find out how many women there are on collarme like the one you described.

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Sub light speed - 3/28/2007 2:56:34 PM   
adanaydi


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hawkwolf7

This struck me as significant, and worth considering. But, I want to start by saying that I intend no criticism of adanaydi; rather I applaud her honesty and integrity.

So, if both the dominant and submissive are of the "lead with your feelings" school, then perhaps moving at "sub/dom light speed" makes sense. Or if both are in the "lead with your thoughts" school, then moving at "thought speed" is the best approach.

But, if the two don't match, then I think it is pretty clear that there will be problems. And, at least for me, the problems would be not worth the investment.

HawkWolf


this one realizes there be several schools of thought on the matter, indeed several within the same body... hers. <smiles> Sometimes a Master has a very profound positive reaction in this one just by talking to her... that attracts her like a moth to a flame... sometimes she gets burned... but not too often, that sort of reaction in her is few and far between, the times it has happened, one Master owned her for 13 years, before his passing of cancer... the second time, the Master owned her four years.

The rest of the time, it was "lead with the thoughts" type, and she didn't do so well with those choices, Master.

ada

_____________________________

ownerless, a girl prays enslavement, where she will find the freedom to soar to the skies on wings spread wide... only to willingly return to His Hand. adanaydi 2007

(in reply to hawkwolf7)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Sub light speed - 3/28/2007 3:10:20 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings whiplash,

we have been together for over a year and i still haven't moved in with Him. the fact that He told me to renew my lease for next year leads me to believe that we won't be living together anytime soon - probably not until i graduate and we move.

to me, moving in isn't something that SHOULD come quickly, and i tend to be wary of anyone who wants to meet (after only talking online) immediately, let alone share living space. i also would be wary of moving in with anyone who hasn't lived on their own before (i know of some couples where the submissive partner moved in with the dominant partner straight out of mom and dad's, and vice versa).

imho, "sub light speed" is something to watch out for. not saying that it'll always lead to problems, but i can see it leading to problems in many cases.

hope you are well.
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Sub light speed - 3/28/2007 6:56:21 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		I just wanted to say thanks to everybody, for the wonderful insights and feedback.
The thread title was a bit word ploy on Star Trek, but it best describes this topic.

It's alway interesting to hear people voice things from of the other side of the coin.
I'll just have to keep my eyes on the look out for any uHaul Trailers attached to
Vechicles when meeting somebody for the first time.

The two experiences in Real Time, I dismissed and figured it was because of the
limited availability of BDSM Doms in the area.  It's not always easy to meet other
like minded people into the lifestyle.

However, when this happened online... I really thought to myself. WOW, the
number of male doms on this site outweight the female sub/slave types.  What
is going on here?

 

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Sub light speed - 3/28/2007 7:13:50 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i realize that i am getting here 2 pages into this.  However, i cannot even imagine meeting someone and suddenly wanting them to either support me or move me (and mine) in.  Maybe it is my age, maybe it is the growing i've done this past year, but it is just the opposite for me (and i venture to say others)...living with a Master/Dom/Man literally scares the hell out of me.  i have grown very fond of my independence. 

i am sure others have said this....someone that wants this, beit Master/Dom etc..slave/ submissive, etc. has issues. 

Just my ha' penny.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 40
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