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Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 10:42:34 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
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If you believe that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, do you consciously give consideration to what the possible reactions to your actions might be in a relationship...or do you just live your life as you wish and let the chips fall where they may?

I'm curious to see if there is a notable difference in the answers of submissive types vs. Dominant types.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

Post #: 1

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 10:47:13 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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Yes i consider from every angle what the reactions may be to my actions in a relationship. In fact i tend to beat myself up about these things on a regular basis. I wish i could just live my life as i wish and sod the consequences but despite what people think i'm just not like that. I do tend to believe though that i have reached a point of understanding that no matter whether you live as you please or live to please others and consider your actions there are always those out there who will believe the opposite about you.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 2

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 10:49:09 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

If you believe that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, do you consciously give consideration to what the possible reactions to your actions might be in a relationship...or do you just live your life as you wish and let the chips fall where they may?

I'm curious to see if there is a notable difference in the answers of submissive types vs. Dominant types.

Hello Erin and Sluuurp!

I consider everything very carefully.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 3

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 10:50:25 AM

BeatMeDaily

Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I do believe all actions have some type of reaction. It's hard to think
of all possible consequences when making decisions. Some are far
reaching and hard to see.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 4

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:12:19 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i am learning the delicate art of gaging my actions not just in relationship but also in life.....having lived both ways, i must say i am getting far better results in both my career and in my friendships living my life in a way that considers the thoughts and needs of those around me....and results always tell the truth.

_____________________________

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"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)

Post #: 5

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:14:38 AM

PONYSEEKER

Posts: 364
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I consider the reaction before action

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 6

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:19:13 AM

WilliamWizer

Posts: 223
Joined: 3/19/2007
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Yes I believe every action has it's reaction.
But being only a human I don't always think about all possible consequences of my actions.
Only thing I can do when that happens is learning from the mistake and try to not repeat it.

_____________________________

There's only two rules for a sub:
- she can do anything her Master didn't forbid her.
- she only needs to do what her Master told her to do.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 7

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:20:58 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER

I consider the reaction before action

Same here but it gets to a point where there are that many possible reactions that your head starts to buzz.
Things get thrown into the mix such as other people putting thier two penneth in, mood of the person doing the reacting etc etc.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 8

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:27:09 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
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From: UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

If you believe that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, do you consciously give consideration to what the possible reactions to your actions might be in a relationship...or do you just live your life as you wish and let the chips fall where they may?

I do not believe that every action has an equal and oppositie reaction, as some actions can have many different reactions, and sometimes, you just cannot be prepared for them and sometimes, you just never 'expect' them.

You cannot always control them either, because you cannot control how other may react.

Therefore, as long as I am honest and comes from a place I am comfortable with, then whatever I do or say comes from me. If the chips fall badly, then I will have to clean up the mess... but I cannot and will not be held responsible for any negativity another person my feel or react with just because I am being me. Communicate with me, about it - don;t just give up and die.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 9

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:30:31 AM

darkinshadows

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Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER

I consider the reaction before action

Interesting statement.

But then what if you know the reaction may be negative, yet your action was positive. Do you lose out yourself, and possibly lie or deny something, just to be a saviour of another? Considering is not the same as acting upon the consideration.

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 10

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:32:12 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
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All actions in my mind do have an equal and opposite reaction IMO.
I think the action and what it brings back to you often does not come from the peron your actions were used on but rather other things in your life.
It's not always or even most of the time tit for tat between the two individuals.
I think all we do is act or react any time we involve ourself with communicating with other people.
I weigh my actions and reactions all the time & over all keep things in balance.
Every now and then I have some random action or reaction that tips the scales, but there's things that help me find balance over all even when individual parts are not right in me.
Weights and balance, action & reaction that's life in a nut shell IMO.
suzanne

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 11

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:32:41 AM

CreativeDominant

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Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

If you believe that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, do you consciously give consideration to what the possible reactions to your actions might be in a relationship...or do you just live your life as you wish and let the chips fall where they may?

I'm curious to see if there is a notable difference in the answers of submissive types vs. Dominant types.

I believe that every action has a reaction, though not always equal nor even directly opposite. For example, if I hug you...I don't expect you to haul off and hit me. But you might, depending on your inner mental reaction to my action.

This is one reason why I've stated before that believing that your actions have no effect...the example most frequently cited is emotions...is self-deceptive. If I have a partner that I have promised monogamy too and then she comes home and finds me simultaneously fucking and spanking the maid, she is going to be angry. A justifiable reaction to MY action. Shall I be like those who state that they are not responsible for emotions in others? Sorry...I can't for I would have had to be a fool to not know that she would react in some manner and that the most likely reaction would be of anger or hurt or both. Now...the level that the anger raises to; either calm and cool..."I am leaving and I will be sending for my things. Please do not attempt to contact me"...ranging all the way up to way-over-the-top behavior such as yelling and punching me and the girl and, taken further, attempting to shoot me and/or the girl...that part, she is indeed responsible for.
That's a romantic example. Try walking into work and spending all day screwing off, not doing the work that your boss has asked you to do, not answering client's calls, etc. and see whether or not your actions are going to have an effect on your boss's emotions and his mental state. When he fires you, are you going to say that you had no idea that he would get angry and that, somehow he is at fault for he could have chosen any other emotion...happiness, giddiness, acceptance...besides anger? Come on.

Another example is physical actions. If I hit my submissive in a way that has been discussed and agreed to by both of us and even if it is something that is pushing a limit, if it is NOT done in an abusive manner, then most likely her reaction is not going to be to turn you into the police ( I say most likely...having been on the receiving end of the threat to do so when it was consentual, I cannot say ALWAYS likely). But...any of the women that have submitted to me, whether casually or long-term, made it clear right from the start what they would consider to be abusive physical actions and what the consequences of my deciding to take such actions would be.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 12

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:35:58 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Currently I'll just say that if I gave an equal reaction to every action, my boss would have been put in a coma a long time ago due to my slapping him upside the head.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 13

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:37:58 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

Sometimes I do. Mostly I just *am*.

Most often I know without a great deal of thought what the reactions will be, but that's because I'm surrounded by people that I know well and who know me well.

agirl

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 14

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:40:16 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

Yup, am learning to consider all sorts of stuff, anymore. I think it's a result of participating in an online forum when SO MUCH can be misconstrued. I usually react with rather knee-jerk assumptions.

To that end, I decided the guy with whom I’ve been involved for the past four months and I have very different ideas about what is a relationship/partnership/ and how one might impact, intertwine and even support/celebrate our individual lives. He’s become very busy…too busy for a relationship, it seems to me. So…while I can see it’s just not going to work for either of us, rather than just wander off without a word…I called him (which I don’t usually do).

Nice; perhaps I’ve saved a friendship…casual though it may be. He’s a good man, closure is a good thing and nobody has too many friends, huh?

bear

(in reply to WilliamWizer)

Post #: 15

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:41:03 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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Depends, if they are close, presonal friends, family and so on, then yes, I would give some consideration to what the reactions from my actions might be.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 16

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 11:46:17 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I think as normal healthy adults, we all think about the reactions of others. In the end, we can't force them to have a specific reaction, but we can steer things in a direction that favors a certain reaction. For example, if I have something to say that I think could hurt someone (Yes, that dress really does make you look fat), I might try to phrase it in a way that isn't as harsh (I think X dress is much more flattering). But, that doesn't keep me from saying it if I think it really needs to be said.

However, not doing something serious because I don't want to hurt someone or make them angry isn't healthy. For example, I don't think it's right for someone to stay in a relationship because the OTHER person loves them. In that case, you must be true to yourself, or else you're selling yourself.

It's a fine line sometimes.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 17

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 12:00:53 PM

moki1984

Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

although I do take into acct the reaction from the other party involved...you can not always determine what that will be...everything that happned that day to that individual to how their mood is...affects their reaction. So your expected reaction may come out ass backwards from them then you must react accordingly but your stumped because it was not what you anticipated.....
So for the most part....I stay true, honest and open. Whatever reactions I get...so be it.
With all of that said.....sometimes I know certain actions which will push buttons on an individual and I purposefully do them to get that desired reaction. Yes I know...that might be a wrong thing to do and not very subby of me, but I never claimed I wasnt difficult at times

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 18

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 12:27:06 PM

SingleRarity

Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
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I try to be responsible for my actions, so generally I do consider what reactions to them will potentially be.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 19

RE: Actions and Reactions - 3/28/2007 12:39:01 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER

I consider the reaction before action

I do as well...

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Interesting statement.
But then what if you know the reaction may be negative, yet your action was positive. Do you lose out yourself, and possibly lie or deny something, just to be a saviour of another? Considering is not the same as acting upon the consideration.

Yes, I often deny something within myself or lose out rather than pursue an action that will most likely result in a negative reaction. I tend to over-analyze everything. Guess that's the Virgo in me.

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)

Post #: 20

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