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no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:03:09 PM

defiantbadgirl

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How many of you would scene with someone on a regular basis where both sex and affection were hard limits?

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:04:36 PM

mixielicous

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that would be about the only way you COULD get me to. but considering i am not even shared for that much, dont count on it.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:07:41 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

How many of you would scene with someone on a regular basis where both sex and affection were hard limits?

I would not consider them limits, but nor are they prerequistites. My craving for pain is not tied in to my sexuality; I don't need the sex nor do I need a hug after.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:10:23 PM

hereyesruponyou

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I don't generally scene with people i don't know or care about, so there is always some affection to me, but as far as it being sexual, that's not necessary at all. That's really defined by the scene itself and the people involved. I have no problem with it.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:17:42 PM

MasterFireMaam

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I have scened for years without sex and still do. It's about the SM. But, without affection (meaning touching, caressing and other comforting but non-sexual touching) I doubt I could.

Master Fire

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:18:50 PM

defiantbadgirl

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I'm the same way. Sex I can go without, but affection is a big part of sessions for me. Affection includes more than just hugging and kissing. Licking, sucking, breast play, and massage are all different forms of affection. One would think being tied up and ignored would be rather boring.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:20:58 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'm the same way. Sex I can go without, but affection is a big part of sessions for me. Affection includes more than just hugging and kissing. Licking, sucking, breast play, and massage are all different forms of affection. One would think being tied up and ignored would be rather boring.

For some it might be, but for others its not about the physical touching of others. For some its about ONLY getting that fix of pain. Being touched or coddled after ruins the experience.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:24:03 PM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'm the same way. Sex I can go without, but affection is a big part of sessions for me. Affection includes more than just hugging and kissing. Licking, sucking, breast play, and massage are all different forms of affection. One would think being tied up and ignored would be rather boring.

For some it might be, but for others its not about the physical touching of others. For some its about ONLY getting that fix of pain. Being touched or coddled after ruins the experience.

I get this, but what about the Dominant's aftercare? What if THEY need to be touched?

Master Fire

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:26:16 PM

defiantbadgirl

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I'm talking about a partner that doesn't want to either give or receive affection. Wouldn't most consider that pointless?

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 3/28/2007 2:27:33 PM >

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:27:08 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

I get this, but what about the Dominant's aftercare? What if THEY need to be touched?

/shrug

then they should have picked a scene with one who was more affectionate.

After a good scene, for myself, I don't talk to anyone, touch anyone, I don't want to be touched or talked to...that's the way it is. End of story.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:31:56 PM

degradess

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I find that after having been with a dom who is affectionate before and after a scene that it is the only way I could really fully enjoy it. Without that humanity included in that situation something is missing. In the past I was into the pain and it seemed less important, but now its intregral to my idea of how it should be.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:32:59 PM

hisannabelle

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defiantbadgirl,

i doubt i could see myself doing that. for me, scening and sex are tied up; i personally would not find bottoming to someone enjoyable without the sexual overtones, and wouldn't choose to do it unless He requested it of me or i was attending a function - it's not something i'd choose to do on my own, on a regular basis.

hisannabelle.

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 3/28/2007 2:34:19 PM >

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:35:21 PM

ExSteelAgain

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I can have a good old BDSM time without sex, but if I am going to move to another level or whatever you call it, sex is going to be a major part of our relationship. I think, ideally, the submissive is going to miss either the sex or the pain if she doesn't get both in my relationships. I've actually had what I thought was great, wild, mind blowing, forget the world sex with a submissive and she has reminded me that I hadn't whipped her. Ditto after a great pain scene and spacing, I've had her pull me onto her for a passionate time when I thought she would care less about fucking because of all the marks on her.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:35:22 PM

hisannabelle

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'm talking about a partner that doesn't want to either give or receive affection. Wouldn't most consider that pointless?

dbg,

i doubt you'll find that everyone considers it pointless. many people enjoy JUST the sadomasochistic part of a scene and don't wish for any sexual or emotional connection to be made. there's nothing wrong with that, imho; just not the way i'm wired.

annabelle.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:35:49 PM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I'm talking about a partner that doesn't want to either give or receive affection. Wouldn't most consider that pointless?

Most would, I imagine. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I know of guys who just want to be jumped by a gang, beaten and left. Certainly no affection there. Doesn't work for a lot of people, though.

Master Fire

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:37:57 PM

blushingflower

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I don't really "scene", but I can see how I might be willing to play with someone without sex if that person were flogging me or doing rope bondage or something. They'd have to at least be friendly. And if they weren't going to be affectionate with me afterwards, then I'd need someone there who would be. I can see Daddy letting someone else beat me and then being there to hug me afterwards. Such a person would not be my primary partner ever though, since I am very affectionate, and I need to be held after any kind of play.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:40:57 PM

Bearlee

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Well, I used to regularly play without including sex; but I never play with people I don’t know and like. We always have some sort of relationship going on, even if it’s just friends. My play may include some touching, even genital touching (clips, floggers, etc)…but it’s not based on sex; if that makes sense.

Still, there is hugging and genuine care for me that goes on, before during and after play. Probably a sweet kiss, too. I am finding though, that even this play is a bit shallow; I like it better when it's 'relationship based'. Perhaps I've 'learned enough'...and just need to find a partner, now.

Oddly, the opposite side of the coin is a HUGE issue for me. I got plenty of affection and sex from the last man I was seeing; but little to no D/s and no play….. He was just too busy. I couldn’t handle it.

Just me though,
bearlee

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:45:17 PM

LadyPact

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I can scene with someone without sex. That isn't an issue. I can't say that I could without any affection because much of aftercare is about touching, caressing, holding, etc. I don't think I could remove those elements.

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:45:57 PM

Missokyst

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I could do it in a heartbeat at the moment. I think its going to be some time before I look for more than this. Sex? no. Hugs? no. That is for a relationship beyond play. Which is off limits for me at this time.
Kyst

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RE: no sex or affection - 3/28/2007 2:51:55 PM

MissSCD

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I definitely could do it for a while, but bet it would not last long if I was arroused by a individual, and there have been some around that have arroused me in the scene.

Regards,

MissSCD

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