BeachMystress
Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
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Akasha has done a great job of giving you advice. I'd like to thank her for it (although it wasn't done for me.) I'd also like to let her (and the rest of the posters to this thread) know that you actually do listen and adjust your behaviour when you learn something new. Giving a newbie advice sometimes feels like scattering wisdom to the winds, because they don't listen. You're not like that and this thread is helping someone who is in the local scene and on his journey to become a good/valuable submissive.
You're coming a long way in a short time for someone who doesn't have a steady Domme. I know it feels like it is taking a long time for things to happen, but anything worth doing is worth learning to do right, which often means slowly.
As for power exchange/ authority transfer, watch how G. and I interact. I know it is harder at parties, but as you come to visit us more you'll see us in non play mode. We often describe our relationship as a traditional 50's husband/wife role, with me in the husband role and him as the wife. He cooks, he gets me my drinks, snacks and food, he cleans, he complains about the way I do laundry (I only turned a few of his sheets pink.. sheesh!) and so on.
There is more to the relationship though, I also make sure that he is getting the stuff done that needs to be done- such as Drs visits, cleaning his room, taking his vitamins, telling him to go to bed at times, making sure important paperwork gets done, bills get paid and other "Mother" type things. Since most people don't understand the Mother/little one relationship, we usually leave that out of our description, but it is there. No, I never put G in diapers or make him drink from a bottle or that junk (LOL, wouldn't he look funny in a diaper??? LOLOL.) We're not into age play like that.. it is a nurture type of relationship.
You looked good in your thong by the way. The leather vest and the cuffs were perfect. Do you understand why I'd not put your collar on you? Why I sent you to Ms. Norma Jean? First, G would have been a little jealous. He can get pretty territorial about me at times. (I find it kinda cute actually) Second, putting a sub's collar on is (to me) accepting their service for the period of time the collar is on.. and I was planning on playing G hard and didn't have time to oversee you. (You should have seen the marks on that poor boy. I took photos when I got home. I'll attach one that is socially acceptable -no penis of butt crack- on here so you can see. There are other pix that show the marks better, (especially his poor bruised back and butt) but they aren't socially acceptable as they contain genitalia. That was the first time G has been given a real beating. We've done the scratch play before, but not to the extent of last night. Greg is also a wuss painwise, but took that for me, because he loves me and wanted to give me what I need/want. When you find the right person, your low pain limit will increase if she needs it to do so.
What you're doing now is laying the foundations that your Domme will build upon when you find the right one. This forum is the perfect place to get a lot of insight into the way others, both Dominant and submissive, view their roles and lifestyle. As I'm sure you're starting to understand, there is no one right way to do things. The relationship between myself and G is very different than MNJ's with her two boys. Yet we are both very caring, nurturing Domme, as you've seen. I'd never train G the way MNJ trains her boys. Training a sub is like raising kids.. everyone thinks (in their heart of hearts even if they are modest vocally) their own way is best. You can read books on it, talk to others who also are doing it, but in the end, you take bits and pieces from all over and meld it into your personal style. You do your best and your experience grows with each kid (sub) you have. You learn from your mistakes. (And everyone makes mistakes. Any Dominant who claims to be perfect makes me laugh.) The same is true for subs.. they learn, grow and make mistakes. You're doing great. Being confused is part of the learning process. :-)
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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/
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