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Can someone explain to me... - 4/1/2007 10:28:53 PM   
MsCece2u


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/10/2005
From: DC
Status: offline 		why if you comment on a submissive's well written profile they think you are trying to hit on them.  Some times when I am bored I peruse the profiles and if I come across one that is particularly well written one I might send a note just to compliment the writer.  Lately I have found that I am getting some negative feedback.  I clearly state that I am not trying to pick them up but just wanted to compliment them on a very well written profile.  I am just curious as to why a compliment would not be well received.

_____________________________

Ms Cece
Tis better to let people think that you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
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RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/1/2007 10:30:45 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		maybe they're working off frustrations of you NOT wanting them, hehe.  Men are so fickle like that.

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My Journal

(in reply to MsCece2u)
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RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/1/2007 11:18:18 PM   
subaltern


Posts: 10
Joined: 10/3/2005
Status: offline 		This may just be me, but...I happen to like it when someone takes notice of my profile, and tells me it's well written...that means alot to me.  I have had the same problem as you, MsCece2u, when it comes to paying compliments on a profile well written; I always assumed it was because I'm male, and a sub at that.  Besides, it never hurts to make a few friends, and that's one way of knowing I can respect someone: that they've proven themselves kind, intelligent, and interesting via a well written profile.  Just my $0.02....

-Subaltern

(in reply to BabyNyla)
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RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/1/2007 11:40:22 PM   
MissNika


Posts: 16
Joined: 2/4/2007
From: Phoenix, AZ
Status: offline 		It could be any number of things. I do exactly what You do when bored, and just start going through profiles and if I see one I think is well written, or had something intelligent to say: I comment on it. Some respond with a thank you, some begin a full blown conversation, and some either ignore or become hostile. I don't take it personally, and neither should You.

~ Miss Nika

(in reply to subaltern)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 4:28:04 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Heck, I didn't even comment on a sub's profile - I just looked at it LOL.  Next thing I know, he's sending me an email asking me why I'm "looking for a sub who lives so far away".    I think perhaps some subs get so little notice, that they'll try and turn any notice they get into a possible connection.

Responses like that are reasons why I don't care for the Who's Viewing Me option.  

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to MissNika)
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RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 4:57:13 AM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		You just keep  commenting on what you like. If someone  shows you a point of view you hadn't considered before and its well written, show them some  respect .  The message boards are a great way to learn and educate ourselves about how were seen. A common thread of thought or a critisim of how we come off, may be an indication to how we are seen and may be a reason  for our success or failure out here.

just my thoughts

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 5:38:11 AM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Wishful thinking on their part that a Domme might be interested in their self centered egomanically ass at some point????????

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 5:53:17 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sylverdawn

Wishful thinking on their part that a Domme might be interested in their self centered egomanically ass at some point????????


This struck Me as quite funny.  Thank you for My morning chuckle.

Actually, I don't generally peruse random profiles, per se.  If I do go to look at a profile, it is usually because of a specific reason.  A person sparking My interest because of comments they have made on the boards can attract Me to their profile.  If I contact them, I usually refer back to that.  (Knock on wood)  I haven't run into too many negative responses from that method.

(in reply to Sylverdawn)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 6:18:19 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I think what happens is there are so many being insincere and trying to get in your pants or own you it makes you frustrated with people after a while.
What I personally do is send back a thoughtful respectful reply.
Usually that's followed by a letter containing their intent in trying to woo me or asking very personal questions about my play habits for jerk off material.
That's when I either send back a HEY Don't you read profiles thing? .
You'd be amazed how many man send a note saying after reading your profile they are sure you two are looking for the same thing & they think you're their one.
Then there's the other group that next say they are in your area the week of X and want you to meet them in a hotel.
Funny thing is you say you do not want to be approached and they act like they found the love of their lives in their words or blatantly be disrespectful and admit they want to use you as a toy to prevent boredom.
At this point due to knowing maybe 1 in 100,000,00 men that write claiming they just want to get to know you and be friendly are not on other missions.
I've actually deactivated my profile because I don't want the daily banter of the insincerity to contend with.
** Edited to add there's also many a man in these forums who's profiles I read and found charming.
I also wrote just to say "Hey what a nice profile, I hope you find what you seek." Even with men here that participate in the forums and talk in here like they are open to just friendships they often don't send back a polite letter and rather rudely read the message and ignore you too.
LOL it shows they are just looking for the girls they want to own or screw to me too.
Then I know them for who they really are vs the haha kind nice guy they pretend to be.
I then see the hunter and see the words they write more clearly for what their intentions are.
It's actually nice to have the veil removed and see the jerk as he is vs thinking he's not rude & a nice well rounded person.
I think it happens on all sides of the communication networks.
All I can say is it shows me people are often not as warm and friendly as they appear to be & I need to second guess everything I read from people.

In two years of 1000's of letters to and from people I've found less than a handful of people that really just want friendship from me.
It just gets to the point sometimes no reply is better than a frustrated one.
It's a shame that you end up often getting the rude brunt of people who are not open to communications.
I agree it's not fair to you.
All I can recommend is not all are rude, just like not all are insincere.
You either have to let it roll over your back like water over a duck, or choose to alter you behavior so you don't get disappointed so much.
I nthe end you only can control you. Do what makes you happy and realize you can't control others unless they opt to give you that control and even then it's most of the time conditional.
suzanne

< Message edited by onestandingstill -- 4/2/2007 6:29:53 AM >

(in reply to MsCece2u)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 6:21:08 AM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		I have noticed that when I post on here, I seem to get  more  emails from people  who comment about  something I said or suggested. I see that as positive . Mostly they just take alook at my profile and I never hear from them again...sometimes. With so many types of people out here, your just going to get a few that  expect more or something else not intended

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 6:27:58 AM   
all4yourplsr


Posts: 156
Joined: 4/5/2005
Status: offline 		I have recently taken to responding to people who have just visited my profile using the "who visited me" feature.  It might not lead to anything but it gets me out there in CM land.  :-)

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 6:35:38 AM   
BeatMeDaily


Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		i like to hear comments form O/others who view my profile.  I've learned many
things from interaction with others. And always nice to get a "hello" from someone.


_____________________________

It takes all kinds of critters to make Uncle Ben's fritters.

(in reply to all4yourplsr)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 8:14:27 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		If I even click on a subs full profile they think I'm hitting on them. I will get a email
within minutes of reading it.


Diane

(in reply to MsCece2u)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 8:19:10 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		What was that little cartoon with the itty bitty hyper dog and the great big dog? These guys remind me if that over eager itty bitty hyper dog.

"OMG OMG!!! She's looking at me, oh oh oh ohhhhhhhh OMG!!"

"I better start bouncing up and down to keep her attention...OMG!"

"Hey! Look at me! See me! I am perfect sub!!! OMG, she is looking at me!!"



_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MsCece2u)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 8:20:12 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		You answered your own question there;they automatically think you're hitting on them because they think you've gone to a lot of trouble to comment on their profile, and in their mind why else would you go to such trouble if you just wanted to compliment a complete stranger.

That's what I think anyway.

(in reply to MsCece2u)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 8:28:05 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

What was that little cartoon with the itty bitty hyper dog and the great big dog? These guys remind me if that over eager itty bitty hyper dog.

"OMG OMG!!! She's looking at me, oh oh oh ohhhhhhhh OMG!!"

"I better start bouncing up and down to keep her attention...OMG!"

"Hey! Look at me! See me! I am perfect sub!!! OMG, she is looking at me!!"



I think the big dog's name was Spike.  Can't remember the little dogs name..

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 8:35:43 AM   
LostCat


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/24/2007
Status: offline 		I'm new to the site, and to the lifestyle so when I receive letters from Dominants, Dommes and submissives that are actually welcoming  and overall nice. You can't help but smile because believe it or not   NOT everyone wants something in return or wants to hit on you.  And I try my best to reply in kind.

So to those that have messaged with something nice to say... Thank you so very much. It's greatly appreciated.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 9:23:57 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I have sent emails to people based on their profile as well.  I have generally had those messages be well received, thankfully.  I have had doms and other submissives send me messages and comments without any intention of hitting on me and I certainly appreciate it also.  If they are sending something negative in response, ignore it.  They are rude and be thankful you were not looking to pursue something with that person based on their well written profile, since it seems like that's really all they have to offer.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to LostCat)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 1:01:38 PM   
frostyslave


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

What was that little cartoon with the itty bitty hyper dog and the great big dog? These guys remind me if that over eager itty bitty hyper dog.
quote:

I think the big dog's name was Spike.  Can't remember the little dogs name..


The little dog was Chester.  http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/5/54/Spikechester1.jpg

[Mod Note:  image replaced with link] 

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 4/2/2007 2:25:19 PM >

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Can someone explain to me... - 4/2/2007 2:31:48 PM   
submarriner


Posts: 62
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		A compliment is like a gift. You choose to give the gift to whom you feel is worthy. Some gifts are received in the manner they are given, and others are rejected because of the intent of which they are associated. You cannot control the acceptance of the gift, nor can you control the mind of the recipient; if a gift is rejected your offering is not lessened. If you believe the gift worth giving then cast your gift on whom you feel worthy. Let the reciever decide the importance of acceptance, but revel in the generosity of your heart and that you tried to make the world a better place. Be not saddened by the refusal, for not all gifts are appreciated for their worth at the time they are bestowed.  Many are like fine wines requiring time to mature to full appreciation.  

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 20
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