GeekyGirl
Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BBBTBW
Geeky Girl,
It's not that you said you won't date black men. It's the reason why you won't date them. - You stated you don't want to rock the boat with your family (Are you not grown enough to make your own decisions?)
- The inmates(wtf this has to do with the respectable black people is beyond me) at the prison where you are employed treat you disrespectfully.
- You also implied that it is a cultural thing that you were treated in such a manner. (WHAT?)
These three things are offensive.
It's not what you do, it's the way you do it. If you don't want to be tagged something, don't put yourself out there to garner that tag. I am sure you pride yourself in "telling it like it is." or "how you see it" That's fine. But if you don't want to suffer the reprocussions of what you say, don't say it. If you do choose to say it. Choose your words wisely. You can state something with a flair of eloquence that will make people pause and think about your stance or you can just spew it out and get what you got.
Agreed it doesnt matter what one does, someone is going to be offended by it. However, don't get your feeling hurt or your mood on edge because someone doesn't like what you said. Learn how to effectively communicate with the masses and you won't have to go chasing your tail.
I see what your saying and it was not meant to be offensive. As for my family, I still am financially supported by my family and live in a house they paid for on their property, so yes, their opinion matters. My family pays my rent, my electric bill, my water bill, and my phone bill,so yeah, I respect their desires.This living arrangement allows me to have enough money to enjoy my very expensive hobbies, and hence I have no desire to live on my own.
As for the inmates, my question was this: why is it only black inmates that do such disrespectful things? The white and hispanic inmates don't do it, which is what made me wonder if it was a cultural thing. All of the individuals I am dealing with are "lower class" people, yet only the lower class people of a certain race commit this act. That to me must indicate *something*. A black friend of mine (an older lady whom I work with) says it is caused by young black men growing up in the "hip hop culture" and said she had the same experience I did (that only black males threw semen, jacked off on her etc.) I don't think it's racist of me to wonder why so many black males disrespect female officers. Sometimes culture does lend itself to certain behaviors. For example, I have noticed that there are far more white murderers than black murderers. I have noticed there are far more hispanic wife beaters than there are black abusers. Etc. I simply stated a trend that I had noticed and questioned if there might be a cultural influence. I didn't say there was one, I said I was curious (which didn't seem racist to me, as I have heard other black officers make the same suggestion.)
I just don't see how you can be a racist when you have black friends and believe in black equality.
ETA: I am curious why people over the internet were so offended by what I said. These opinions are ones I have discussed with my black friends and coworkers several times and they have never been offended. I can only assume that because they see me every day and see how I treat them and other black individuals every day, that they KNOW I'm not racist. *actions speak louder than words* and sometimes our words online can give an incorrect negative impression. When you've worked with someone for 2 or 3 years and seen consistently that they treat people equal and have friends of all races, perhaps you utilize that knowledge when they voice a controversial opinion.
When I asked my older black lady friend about the black men disrespecting me, she didn't take it was a racist comment because she knows me in real life and knows that I would never treat someone differently based on race, and has seen me hang out with my black coworkers. Therefore, armed with that knowledge, she took my question as a sign of curiousity and not one of prejuidice.
Let's remember that our words alone speak for us here, and it's easy to jump to unfair conclusions when you don't interact face to face with someone on a daily basis.
< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 4/4/2007 5:51:42 PM >
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"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."
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RE: Black Doms - 
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