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Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 8:59:21 PM   
whataboutboo


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		My main problem in Finding a Dom/Master is the fact that i have attitude if I'm being wronged or my friends are or even if the clerk at macy's has given me shitty customer service i will voice my opinion Ive been told by a few Masters that my attitude problem is a defense mechanism and i agree with them to a point       what are your thoughts on slaves with attitude
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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 9:59:14 PM   
whataboutboo


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Im starting to get a bit discouraged 30 hits and no replys sad pandas

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 10:11:50 PM   
pixiedustboo


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/29/2006
Status: offline
I have a little of the same feeling.  It's like they do not want a person.  They just want a body, with no thoughts, no feelings, no shared emotion....  I can play the sweet subbie online just like everyone else does, but I don't want to hide who I am just because someone else doesn't want to work with a real person.  Anyone can write, "with eyes lowered in awe of Your Dominance my Sir, i trail my silken clad..." come on!  I am starting to get that nagging feeling inside of me that I have to take this (D/s) to the next stage...online I have gotten as far as possible.  With a lot of frustrations. 

I also can be very opinionated and I do not take well to being played, nor do I stand still and hush when I believe something isn't right.  Sometimes I get too worked up about things...I like having someone talk me down out of a frustration or anger and telling me I am not saying this the right way, ect, ect. 

However, I think there are few and far between Dominants willing to work for a relationship.  I'm willing to work.  I'd like them to put up or shut up.




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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 10:13:14 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		As long as they are obedient, tis a beautiful thing.

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 10:20:44 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixiedustboo
I have a little of the same feeling.  It's like they do not want a person.  They just want a body, with no thoughts, no feelings, no shared emotion....


greetings,

i beg to differ. from most respectable dominants i have seen post, as well as my previous dominant and my current one, and the little i know of the local community...i would say most dominants worth their salt want shared emotion, feelings, thoughts, and opinions. He certainly expects me to stand up for myself and to be capable of managing my own life. that, for me, involves quite a bit of handling difficult customer service people and all kinds of other things that require a strong personality. however, i see it (and i would say that He sees it) different from having "attitude." one can be graceful and stand up for oneself without being walked over, yet not have an attitude, imho. He also expects me to voice my opinion, tell Him my thoughts, talk to Him about what i think, feel, and desire. He wants more than just a body with no emotions. however, He expects my emotions to be processed appropriately and for me to strive to be obedient and pleasing at all times, within reason (meaning, i do not give Him attitude but He does expect me to ask questions, voice my opinion, and then accept whatever decisions He makes...as well as to stand up to the health insurance people when they're trying to charge me $150 more than what i actually owe them).

respectfully,
annabelle.

p.s. i work in the food court in a mall that has a macy's, and i haven't met any bad macy's employees yet. at least at our restaurant, they tend to be among the most thoughtful, kind customers we get. ;) couldn't help commenting on that.


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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 10:23:59 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		I like a little fire in my women so attitude is fine as long as they are obedient and knows and continue to stay in their place..bounty

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 10:24:46 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		"Attitude" isn't attractive.  And, in certain, likely prevalent, views, it's unbecoming of a sub.

I tell my slaves that they are free to report the full extent and range of emotions and thoughts to me.  Actually, they're required.  This does not mean, however, I tolerate their disobidience or acting in a manner that would reflect poorly upon me.

Depending on the relationship(s), there may be different protocals for dealing with such issues. But, in mine, my property is to behave in a manner I deem suitable.  For them, I am the highest court.  They bring their cases to me- in a respectful, submissive manner- and I rule.  My word's final.  They are to abide by it, or they are under punishment until they learn their place.

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 10:46:41 PM   
pixiedustboo


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/29/2006
Status: offline

Humans are humans, submissive, slave...or not.  Outbursts are bound to happen because we are human.  And also, sometimes "attitude" is a way of protecting oneself.






< Message edited by pixiedustboo -- 4/4/2007 10:49:57 PM >

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 10:51:50 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whataboutboo

My main problem in Finding a Dom/Master is the fact that i have attitude if I'm being wronged or my friends are or even if the clerk at macy's has given me shitty customer service i will voice my opinion Ive been told by a few Masters that my attitude problem is a defense mechanism and i agree with them to a point       what are your thoughts on slaves with attitude

If you are wronged speak up

Many "doms" do not know what to do with a subbie once they find and fuck them.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 10:52:34 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixiedustboo
Humans are humans, submissive, slave...or not.  Outbursts are bound to happen because we are human.  And also, sometimes "attitude" is a way of protecting oneself.


yes, but outbursts shouldn't be the norm, and if our relationship were such that i had frequent outbursts and did nothing to change my behavior and what caused the outburst, nor give Him the proper information about what i need from Him to change the behavior, He would most likely release me. as property, it's not my job to protect myself from Him. if i need protecting from Him, then His collar doesn't need to be on me in the first place. it's my job to stand up to other people when it's necessary, but not in a way that reflects badly on Him or is socially unacceptable.

i suppose what i should be saying is that as a slave, i'm expected to deal with my emotions in a way that is, at the very least, not destructive, and hopefully constructive. obviously this won't always happen as planned, but if i'm not actively working towards dealing with my emotions in a proper manner, then i'm not fulfilling my duties as property and i'm causing unneeded havoc within the relationship. for us, that would be unacceptable. your mileage may vary.


< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 4/4/2007 10:56:06 PM >

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/4/2007 11:01:29 PM   
Alloces


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/14/2004
Status: offline 		a bit of an attitude I personally don't think is a bad thing as long as the person knows when to drop it and doesn't get totally carried away with it..indeed there are those that seem intolerant of it and if a sub is in a relationship with One then she should know and respect the feelings of that One..this does not mean that you negate your natural defenses........it means simply use tact and diplomacy instead of a harsh attitude..always remembering that you are a mirror of your Trainer/Mentor/Dominant/Master....yes and your community......remember it is not just you that could look bad by exercising an attitude unbecoming it is everyone associated with you.............
 
just My opinion and I could be mistaken
 
Alloces

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/5/2007 2:09:32 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		Attitudes are like assholes, everybody's got one. I find the distinction is whether a sub/servant has an agenda, and whether it is conscious or subconscious. When you gain awareness of the reason you are motivated to "speak out," then you will also find the will to surrender the motive or urge. Mastering surrender is what it is all about for a sub/servant.

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/5/2007 3:59:06 AM   
Valyraen


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline 		Aqua's a Scotch/Irish/Scotch-Irish woman... and I've got some Scot or Irishman in my garbled pedigree somewhere. We've both got tempers that could strangle someone alive, so there are flare-ups from time to time and we both have to take a step back and get ourselves under control. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having strong feelings or opinions... point of fact, that's one of the things I love about my kitten. However, how you go about expressing those opinions or feelings can and does affect the reactions of others toward you.

For example: I used to work behind the register at a Panera Bread "restaurant" (for those of you who don't know Panera, it's an upscale food place), and I was pretty damn good at it, so I handled a large volume of orders, and more than a few complaints. Some folks were very easygoing about it and understanding that a mistake had simply taken place; some weren't, and behaved like they had some sort of chip on their shoulders, or thought that a simple misunderstanding on the cashier/preparer's part was actually some sort of passive-aggressive attack. Those were the people that we got the hell rid of as quickly as possible just so we didn't have to deal with their attitudes... and, consequently, the people most likely to leave their trash for someone to bus (Panera isn't a restaurant... there are places for trays and garbage) as opposed to taking it out themselves.

The point of this is that you've always got the option to decide how to respond to a stimulus - you can respond as an adult, or you can fly off the handle and throw a temper tantrum. I don't mean to implicate that's what you're doing, whataboutboo, I'm just giving you a perspective from the outside.

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/5/2007 4:18:02 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Speaking up for yourself and others is not what I call attitude. Theres a time and place for everything though. If a slave is obedient and is not bratty than most don't have a problem with it. It is when that doms feel like they are bing questioned and defied then it becomes one.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 4/5/2007 4:20:03 AM >

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/5/2007 4:18:58 AM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I want a submissive with strong opinions who is not afraid to express them. I do not want a submissive with a chip on their shoulder. I want a submissive to speak up when they see something as wrong - but I want the submissive to hush for a minute when I say hush, and listen to my viewpoint if I feel that my input might change their opinion. I want a submissive with a backbone, intelligence, and a willingness to get into it if they feel strongly enough about something - but I also want a submissive who will accept my decisions as final once the final word is said, who will take the time and effort to learn to express opinions respectfully to me, and who will learn self control as well as accepting my control.

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/5/2007 4:29:26 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have learned that attitude is fine as long as it's kept in check

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/5/2007 4:44:00 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Personally I like a sub that stands up for themselves or speaks their mind. If I wanted a silent mindless blow up doll I'd buy one. I encourage my sub to speak his mind and he does and I am in no way threatened by it.

~Lashra


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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/5/2007 4:55:09 AM   
jewelking


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		outbursts will happen but that is not 'attitude' . attitude is ur slave plain ol' acting smart, behaving brattishly or worse, disobeying. that , is not tolerable.
strictly speaking a master is within rights to say that a salve is not human and hence is not allowed even outbursts.
sounds harsh, but when times get tuff, the tuff starts whipping

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/5/2007 6:23:53 AM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: whataboutboo

My main problem in Finding a Dom/Master is the fact that i have attitude if I'm being wronged or my friends are or even if the clerk at macy's has given me shitty customer service i will voice my opinion Ive been told by a few Masters that my attitude problem is a defense mechanism and i agree with them to a point       what are your thoughts on slaves with attitude

Greetings
 
for many, a submissive or a slave with attitude is not a bad thing; what makes it unacceptable is the way in which you channel this attitude. There are ways that you can have your opinions heard without being disrespectful.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

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RE: Subs/slaves with attitude - 4/5/2007 6:38:12 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I'm more dominant than most Dominants. I'm strong, vocal, and straight forward. When I meet someone stronger than I am, it brings out the submission in me. That means that I knew that 99% of the Dominants out there weren't the right person for me. I kept looking until I did find him. Master enjoys the fact that I'm strong.

So, my first thought is that maybe the Dominant that is saying that....just isn't the right person for you. Find one that appreciates you for who you are.

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