Why does a male feel the need to submit?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Why does a male feel the need to submit?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Why does a male feel the need to submit?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 5:33:25 AM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

Further to CuriousLords thread on Dom vs sub,and the oppinion that there are more submissive males than females,I have a question for others here.

Given that a male,his role in society is traditionally that of the provider,the head of a family unit,all this being said,what makes a male feel the need to submit to a female in this BDSM way,and for that matter,submission in general to either sex?

Post #: 1

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 5:34:34 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Perhaps the answer is as simple as 'for the same reason a female feels the need'

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 2

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 6:14:03 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Each and every one of us are made differently. Every person has there own individual likes and preferences.
If you asked a hundred men why they enjoy submission you would probably get a 100 different answers because we are all unique.

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 3

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 6:37:38 AM

serillabound

Posts: 22
Joined: 12/12/2006
Status: offline

I think perhaps you've answered your own question...the fact that you're expected to provide, be in charge sort of speak...makes it inately natural to want to release and give up control.
A lot of my friends, myself include, find ourselves in powerful positions in our vocations, single moms, where being assertive and even aggressive is the facade that must be worn in our professional lives...so it only makes perfect sense to me that in our intimate lives giving up control, submitting materializes itself into a kink..and it's variety including but not limited to submission is evidant on all these types of sites...

_____________________________

submission is not a gift but the result of a mind raping partnership

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 4

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 6:43:49 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

'Cause they enjoy it? I dunno, why do I want to? It's certainly not any internalized oppression cause Valyraen is only male I'm submissive to.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to serillabound)

Post #: 5

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 6:52:19 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

The hetero ones I've talked to (one in particular) really seem to genuinely appreciate females and want to fully please them. It has nothing whatsoever to do with being "less masculine". There are some pretty hot male submissives out there, IMO...I am a Switch, so I also realize hetero Dominant men very much appreciate females as well, but I don't equate male submissivesness at all with being unsexy, or weak, etc. At all. Frankly, as a female, I have to say: What's not to like about the idea of a man being concerned with your needs and making you happy?

I find male submissives to be quite chivalrous, and to me, that's always wecome. I do think chivalry toward females is also a societal expectation of many men, and male submissives seem to do that exceptionally well, IMO - that is my impression (so do many Dominants, but as a rule, I think male subs do it more. It kind of goes with the "role" and what they find fulfilling, I think.)

To answer you Q, I think it makes them feel cared for the same way being dominated makes any submissive feel cared for. It's intimate. You feel you are in someone else's hands who truly has your welfare at heart, and giving over control to them feels yummy.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/5/2007 7:23:47 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 6

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 6:56:38 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Why do we do anything that makes us feel good? Because it fulfills us and we are brave enough to follow our bliss.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 7

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 7:08:07 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

Why does a male feel the need to submit?

My theory is that society created a false stereotype which generated an unnatural assumption of personality traits.

Why to males have nipples? The answer is they are formed before the primary sexual characteristics determining male/female; the penis/vagina. What if the dominant/submissive trait were determined afterward too?

But being born male or female, society assumes personality expectations and parents support those roles. I don't think that is appropriate. The dominant/submissive nature of a person should be allowed to develop regardless of gender without predetermination.

As far as more male submissives, two factors. You notice them but proportionately there are no more or less than submissive woman. I think the tendency is equally distributed between the sexes. The other factor is, looking on CM or any dating site, men are trying to get laid. They will be any personality trait needed to do so. It doesn't take much investigation to determine there are many males having two profiles; one submissive the other dominant. To a man; "Tie me up and do me!" gets to the same "bottom line" as; "Let me tie you up and do you!".

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 8

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 7:27:17 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Why have 2 profiles. Just put down you are a Switch.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 9

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 7:33:58 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Some people think that people who list themselves as a Switch get less response to their profiles. Some people don't like scening with Switches, because they think they can't control their submissive and Dominant desires "crossing over" and both coming out, within the same scene. In other words, some don't believe a Switch can control their ability to switch "roles".

It can ruin a scene w/ a Dominant, if a Switch were to also exhibit Dominant traits in the middle of a scene, when that Dominant wants to scene with a submissive, not another Dominant, for example (or vice-versa). That this necessarily even happens at all, because someone scenes with a Switch, isn't necessarily true, but yet the myth seems to persist.

And it's just that - a myth.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/5/2007 7:41:59 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 10

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 7:50:54 AM

vield

Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Once a person learns the incredible warmth, sweetness and joy a mutually caring BD/SM experience can bring to them, it certainly can be difficult to get by on a vanilla diet.

The degree and level of power exchange which takes place in such a connection is unique to those people. Each has a charisma that gives to the other. If the energy flow happens to involve a male partner giving pleasure and submissive energy to a partner and if both parties are open to this, a man submits.

It fact there can be people whose energy blends with yours from all different power aspects, but you may or may not be open to experience that.

I think there is a degree of switch in everyone, but not everyone is open to try it.

I have met people who are total slaves in nearly all situations, who discover (much to their surprise, even dismay) that one particular person's energy feeds a dominant side in them they never suspected.

I have also seen very self-assured tops who thought they would always be in charge find that one person whose energy draws that top to their knees.

_____________________________

As always, your mileage may vary!

vield

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 11

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 7:57:36 AM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

Because I can.

_____________________________

Fuck the Pandas!
-Moi

Mmm, I love me some kickboxers, you know why? Cause ya'll cant take a punch!
- Quentin Tarantino.

If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
-Tucker Max

(in reply to vield)

Post #: 12

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 7:59:51 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rumtiger

Because I can.

LOL simplicity at its best

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Rumtiger)

Post #: 13

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 8:02:43 AM

houseslave

Posts: 65
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

im a male that enjoys submitting to other males...a gay male that especially enjoys submitting to straight Males, or couples....not sure where that fits in...

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 14

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 8:06:11 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Because not every male is an arrogant ass who puts himself on some lofty pedestal.

Some of us are simply honest about what turns us on and personally, as a male dominant, I know for a fact my role is effortless compared to the strength, bravery, and integrity it takes for a man to step forward and kneel before a woman.

(in reply to houseslave)

Post #: 15

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 8:10:41 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Given that a male,his role in society is traditionally that of the provider,the head of a family unit,all this being said,what makes a male feel the need to submit to a female in this BDSM way,and for that matter,submission in general to either sex?

you may find in all walks of ife people usually choose what they are diametrically opposite of what they do on a day to day responsible position.

Hence I have had sessions with many female lawyers, CEOs, police officers and such as they feel the powerful positions they hold in the world need the release of fantasy sessions where they can just let go.

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 16

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 8:15:00 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Yeah, I gotta agree w/ Simply Michael, and say, in terms of breaking any "social taboo" as far as gender expectations, the male submissive is probably the one who is going furthest "out on a limb." And IMO, that does require some guts.

But transgendered folk of any ilk, are IMO, probably going furthest out on a social limb, even in the "bdsm world." I gotta respect them for that. Gay folk and CDs as well.

Next in line would be female Dominants (Dommes). Then female submissives, and then male Dominants, IMO (although the last two may be equal. I only listed female submissives next to last because in this day and age, so many female submissives can catch hell for not being more "liberated.")

SirDiscipliner: I've heard that idea of submissives needing to "escape their tremendous positions of daily responsibility" by submitting in the evening, etc., and I respectfully disagree with it as an "across-the-board" reason many enjoy being submissive (or its opposite being a reason to want to dominate someone).

I, for instance, have zero almost responsibility in my daily life at present (beyond a few enjoyable volunteer poisitions), and have just recently discovered I am probably partly a Domme. I know of many subs who hold jobs that contain little responsibility, or who don't work at all, and some Dominants who have jobs with a lot of responsibility.

I tend to believe that whole idea was a way to glamorize and "explain" to a bdsm-leery public (as well as to some bdsm folk themselves) "why" some people "need" to do this. Personally, I don't think there "needs" to be a reason, other than it is on a spectrum of human sexuality, in terms of activity that people enjoy, period.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/5/2007 8:34:49 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 17

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 9:09:51 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why have 2 profiles. Just put down you are a Switch.

Because some people seperate out their desires. They want one person to be Top always and another to be bottom always. Granted, I think they should mention that they have an alternate profile and why.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 18

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 9:25:41 AM

mynded

Posts: 137
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Because not every male is an arrogant ass who puts himself on some lofty pedestal.

Some of us are simply honest about what turns us on and personally, as a male dominant, I know for a fact my role is effortless compared to the strength, bravery, and integrity it takes for a man to step forward and kneel before a woman.

Exactly...It takes a strong Oone to submit sometimes.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 19

RE: Why does a male feel the need to submit? - 4/5/2007 12:06:08 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Because it is his personality trait. Not all males are dominant and not all females are submissive that is a HUGE misconception. I am female and I have ZERO desire to submit to anyone because I have a dominant personality. Submissive males have many of the same urges as female submissives, to devote themselves to someone to serve. This in no way makes them any less of a man, submission does not take away from ones gender. My sub submits to me and me alone, it makes him feel whole and loved.

Men can be submissive and still be providers, there is no law saying that they cant lol There are many more submissive males than people think and from the outside you probably cannot tell that they are submissive by nature. It all comes down to personality traits.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Why does a male feel the need to submit?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094