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How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/17/2005 1:46:29 PM

BBWinOhio

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline

I am having difficulty stopping myself from masturbating and having orgasms when told not to, especially during ovulation. I am 33 and my sex drive is in overdrive.

Even though I know I'm not supposed to, I do it. The need to have an orgasm is overwhelming sometimes.

I would like some advice on how to control myself, when my Dom is unavailable to stop me. When I am with him or talking to him, I can do it. I always have the best of intentions, but find my good intentions out the window when I am aroused.

Advice? Suggestions?

Post #: 1

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/17/2005 2:32:49 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Are you legally allowed to drive? What stops you from running over pedestrians?

You're an adult, you have self-control, it's your choice to use it or not. This isnt like a crack addition.

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

Post #: 2

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/17/2005 2:53:20 PM

liltxsubby

Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline

When you're not allowed, put your toys and sush in a really inconvenient place. If the urge hits, you'll have plenty of time to think about the consequenceswhile you're getting them.
Instead of thinking all the thoughts that only make it worse, picture him standing over you with the disapproving, disappointed look in his eye that only a Dom can get. That should pretty much quell any desire your fingers have to go where they aren't supposed to.

_____________________________

I'm Japan and Godzilla has taken over.

Laugh with them, or let them laugh at you.

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

Post #: 3

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/17/2005 3:15:12 PM

cassie

Posts: 12
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

honestly, its really quite simple...my orgasms dont belong to me...they belong to Master....do you keep other things from your Dominant? if so, youve got worse problems than how to stop masterbating...it is your choice to disobey and go against his wishes...a choice that you can decide not to make...
cassie

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

Post #: 4

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/17/2005 5:41:11 PM

Ouroboros

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline

Dear bbwinohio,
I am cassie's Master, here is my point of view... As cassie stated, her orgasms belong to me... as does all that she is and wishes...

I am a simple man, if you belonged to me... here is the result of your actions:

You would find yourself in the corner, denied the ability to speak to me.. to move from that corner, to touch me or yourself, denied the ability/right to serve... you would stand there watching what I do... how I deal with the day... and that is the simple corner... they get increasing unpleasant as the transgression progresses

Yes it is that simple in my home...

The issue here is not that you cannot stop masturbating or having orgasms it is the thrill you get from being disobedient.

You not only are disobedient of his wishes, you are also disrespectful of his ownership of you... I can attest to the fact that cassie has an overwhelming urge to orgasm as well as her lust for masturbating... however, her desire to please me, to obey is more important than a mere physical pleasure... and the thought of disobeying me does provide her with sufficient cause to pause err she does...

Suffice it to say... you are in control of your choice to obey or not...

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

Post #: 5

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/17/2005 6:10:46 PM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

If you put yourself into the frame of mind that you are under your Dom's control and resist the urge to masturbate because that is what he desires, it might be easier. If it continues to be all about you and your desires, I think you will lack that control.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

Post #: 6

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/17/2005 6:16:25 PM

velvetvixen

Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline

I never understand this problem.

If your Dom has told you not to masturbate, just don't. From the time that the thought "I think I will play with myself" goes into your head and you do what ever you have to do in order to make it happen, there is plenty of time to think to yourself, "hey, I am about to say F*ck You, Dom, I am going to in your face break this rule. I am going to take what is Yours because I have zero control of myself and even less respect for You, me or the relationship."

Maybe you should think about that when the urge strikes.

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

Post #: 7

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/17/2005 6:19:52 PM

velvetvixen

Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i've been taken by Godzilla, folks.

So you are Japan...

(in reply to liltxsubby)

Post #: 8

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/17/2005 7:45:37 PM

darlingjade

Posts: 54
Joined: 1/31/2005
Status: offline

Honestly, how have I handled this in the past?...Welll...I'd have written and/or called to share my frustrations and to let him know that, although it's hell, I'm abiding by his wishes. Then I'd find something I could do for him, whatever that might be. If, after all of that, I was still climbing the walls I'd opt for a physical outlet.

Have I failed at this before? Yes and once was enough because the guilt and shame I felt about it were punishment enough long before he punished me.

(in reply to velvetvixen)

Post #: 9

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/18/2005 4:46:12 AM

FuriousAngel

Posts: 102
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

I get off on control so I think if I was even going to consider orgasming without permission that it would be enough to kill the mood for me! LOL! I've seen many say they do as they wish on a variety of levels when their Dom 'isn't looking'. It's always baffled me as it would tarnish the heart of what moves me within the lifestyle.

(in reply to darlingjade)

Post #: 10

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/18/2005 7:06:46 AM

liltxsubby

Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline

quote:

So you are Japan...

yes, and it's great

_____________________________

I'm Japan and Godzilla has taken over.

Laugh with them, or let them laugh at you.

(in reply to velvetvixen)

Post #: 11

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/18/2005 11:19:41 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I would say a chastity device but that would take all responcibility off the person trying not to do something they know is wrong.

Maybe next time he can make you masterbate stop master bate stop masterbate stop. After about 10 times of no orgasim and then just tying you up you'll decide to take more responcibility in following his orders.

(in reply to liltxsubby)

Post #: 12

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/18/2005 11:38:47 PM

riversimplicity

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/18/2004
Status: offline

Dear BBWinOhio,

Simply as someone else stated here...orgasms coming from me do not belong to me, they belong to my Master. i live under His rules that i am not allowed to tuch Master's pussy without His express permission, and definately not allowed to orgasm unless given a direct order to do so or permission to do so when i request it.

i ONCE let it slip my mind, early on in the relationship, and merely touched Master's pussy, i didn't masturbate or orgasm, i simply touched it. The instant i did so, i remembered the rule and realized i had broken it. i went to Master and told Him. His response was lenient. The consequence for this action was outlined to me well before my transgression, and that was what Master refers to as a "Flame F*CK" This is simply where Master would coat a dildo with icy-hot and f*ck me with it until i orgasmed. Master went easy on me because it wasn't a deliberate intent of disobedience, i merely lost focus. So the consequence was modified and a single drop of icy-hot was placed on the head of my clit.

i haven't made that error again, and that was over a year ago.

Repeated disobedience, regardless of the transgression, is a symptom of a much larger problem. Its truly up to you and your Master/Dom to figure out the source of the problem and to fix it. It may be a simple need of more consistent discipline and consequences. It may be a much more complicated need of a re-definition of your relationship. i don't know, i'm not the one involved in your relationship.

_____________________________

~river
(property of Erus)

I want to touch
the sharp taste
of the moment in between
the second just before
the place where
the breath catches
in anticipation.

Excerpt from The Moment Before, Oriah Mountain Dreamer

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

Post #: 13

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/19/2005 12:57:51 AM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

The First thing I would do would be, change my thinking patterns.
Since I do believe arousal all begins in the brain, what eroctic
thoughts I am thinking, fantasizing about, etc.

Everytime I began thinking thoughts about masterbation or start
having eroctic thoughts, I would refocus my attention to something
else, especially something else that is a pleasurable(Non-Sexually)
experience to replace my thoughts and bodily reactions.

Good Luck,

*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

Post #: 14

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/19/2005 5:42:20 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I never really understood sexual repression and denial over long term, most people have more than enough of that in their lives already. It always feels to me like doms equate having control to saying "no."

I understand a slave's sexual expression fully belonging to their dom and I'm certainly not questioning the obedience of the doms rules, I just don't get how it improves things and makes the slave more productive over time in the relationship to not allow sexual pleasure. For me if I don't orgasm over a long period I get insomnia, distracted, unfocused, unhappy. Sexual energy to me is like my wellspring and it inspires me and keeps me well-balanced.

I guess to me it would be just as if the Owner told me to stop reading books...of course he can do it, and of course it would be obeyed...but how would it improve my abilities with him?

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 15

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/19/2005 6:29:05 AM

riversimplicity

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/18/2004
Status: offline

For me, the control of "don't touch, don't orgasm" isn't that i never get to touch or orgasm. Quite the opposite...Master believes in giving me those things...simply because it gives Him pleasure to know and/or watch me receiving pleasure, and it gives me pleasure not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well. Its a beautifully vicious circle.

_____________________________

~river
(property of Erus)

I want to touch
the sharp taste
of the moment in between
the second just before
the place where
the breath catches
in anticipation.

Excerpt from The Moment Before, Oriah Mountain Dreamer

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 16

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/19/2005 7:36:30 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i ONCE let it slip my mind, early on in the relationship, and merely touched Master's pussy, i didn't masturbate or orgasm, i simply touched it. The instant i did so, i remembered the rule and realized i had broken it. i went to Master and told Him. His response was lenient. The consequence for this action was outlined to me well before my transgression, and that was what Master refers to as a "Flame F*CK" This is simply where Master would coat a dildo with icy-hot and f*ck me with it until i orgasmed. Master went easy on me because it wasn't a deliberate intent of disobedience, i merely lost focus. So the consequence was modified and a single drop of icy-hot was placed on the head of my clit.

Just a note: You aren't supposed to use those kinds of things around mucus membranes, as they can cause burns to those areas.

There are non-invasive lotions of that same result available from 'toy' stores and dealers like JT's Stockroom.

Be well,
Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to riversimplicity)

Post #: 17

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/19/2005 7:48:59 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Or there's just pure cinnamon oil...

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 18

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/19/2005 5:54:23 PM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

quote:

I never really understood sexual repression and denial over long term, most people have more than enough of that in their lives already. It always feels to me like doms equate having control to saying "no."

I understand a slave's sexual expression fully belonging to their dom and I'm certainly not questioning the obedience of the doms rules, I just don't get how it improves things and makes the slave more productive over time in the relationship to not allow sexual pleasure. For me if I don't orgasm over a long period I get insomnia, distracted, unfocused, unhappy. Sexual energy to me is like my wellspring and it inspires me and keeps me well-balanced.

I guess to me it would be just as if the Owner told me to stop reading books...of course he can do it, and of course it would be obeyed...but how would it improve my abilities with him?

Master encourages me to masturbate and orgasm, He gets pleasure out of watching me enjoy myself and more often than not He will join in and assist me

He knows that I have had difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner in the past. He figures the more I play and learn how my body works the better my response to Him will be. He has even said that if I feel the need for privacy to play all I have to do is go in the bedroom and close the door!

Although when we are in session He does control my orgasm - I am to tell Him when I am close, and beg Him to let me cum......sometimes He will after a few minutes but more often than not I must wait.....it's soooo frustrating!! But the orgasm that follows is often more intense so the wait is worth it

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 19

RE: How to stop masturbating/orgasming - 4/19/2005 10:05:24 PM

gretchen

Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

Do you need some kind of a "Reehab" for masturbators?.

What about instead of masturbating, look for a new activity...like...physsical exercise, or art class, or dance class, or even a cooking class to improove your self to be a better submissive to your Dom. Get your self busy...or get your hands busy. Stop messing around with them!.

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

Post #: 20

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