SusanofO
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Joined: 12/19/2005
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Jennifer's told me she's cried a lot about it, and I am around her enough, to watch and see people's reactions to her when they first meet her, for example, and see her skin condition, and she is very ashamed and self-consious about it, and it really breaks my heart.
I didn't maybe make that clear because I was upset when I first posted about it. I spent all yesterday afternoon, putting up w/ my sister's icy stares at me. My oops. Sorry. I was very upset when I first posted this topic, and could have been more clear. Thanks for listening anyway, and for the comments.
I think some are picturing just someone with a few minor "zits" - but she is one of those people whose face is purple with acne, and who has those deep, deep scars (called "ice pick" scars). They don't go away on their own. I should know - I had them too, at one time. It can make you feel like a freak in a circus, somewhere.
People don't mean to be rude or stare at you, but they do. She isn't "unable to deal" My question is - why should she even have to try? - when surgery is available, safe, and I am willing to help? It's a no-brainer, as far as I can see. I don't understand my sister's reaction - at all. Having to consider it some kind of "character builder" to put up with for eons, just because she "should" is insane, IMO - Jenny is in a lot of emotional pain over this. I can tell. But I appreciate any who commented (I really do). I appreciated the ear. I was pissed at my sister, when she reacted that way.
I've had a few hours to calm down. Maybe I will talk to my sister about this next week, after she has calmed down (hopefully).
In no way do I consider this a super-ficial cosmetic "fix". I think it is exactly what plastic surgeons and dermatologists are for, IMO. Sorry, I should have said that before - I am just way upset over this. And very surprised, too, because this is totally unlike my sister to react this way. I think she must be half off her rocker over worry about her husband, or something. But he is recovering (or maybe there is something she isn't telling me? Possibly). I hope that's all it is (like that's not enough, but still...)
I suppose some people do treat their skin like crap, never ever wash their face, etc.- but for the most part, acne in most cases, from what I've read, isn't the fault of the person who gets it. It is mostly hereditary, and a results of hormone imbalance.
My derm told me my body was producing way too much "androgen" (a hormone), and that was why I had it . I took Accu-tane (that controversial acne drug). It worked, but I still had deep scars leftover. Eventually, my hormonal problem susbsided (in my very late twenties). Until then, I felt bad about myself about half the time - even though I had friends, got good grades, etc, etc.
I know this is going to maybe sound sexist, and it's not meant to be - it's really not - but I do think this actually might be a bigger "deal" for a girl to experience - because of the focus on female appearance (although frankly, my heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with it).
Nobody has raised Jennifer to be overly concerned w/her looks - she is quite the tom-boy, wears no make-up, rarely has worn it, etc. All she needs to do to see what this looks like, is go look in the mirror, which I am sure she does every day, out of necessity, when brushing her teeth, for instance.
He and she (my little sister and her hubby) were both at Easter dinner yesterday at my middle sister's house, and she shot me icy glances all afternoon. My niece was there, too - but nobody brought this topic up at all, because there were so many other people there, and this isn't exactly a group conversation topic, and the whole afternoon was somewhat chaotic, as far as the atmosphere. So, Jennifer still has no idea what her mom said to me.
Anyway, I know I have probably made a mountain out of a mole-hill here, but I really needed to get it, I was so mad about this. Thanks for all of the good advice, and for listening, people. It is very much appreciated. A lot.
Susan
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/9/2007 4:27:12 PM >
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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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RE: Need some feedback - am I wrong here? - 
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and yes I've done that to the ones who only wanted sex. The others are awsome guys, and I like to beleive that most guys are decent like that. 
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