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RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/12/2007 11:35:45 AM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Although I dont think people really have the right to judge you they do have the right to judge if you are right for them. If someone is doing a little background research into what you have writen in the past than it definatly means that they like
you and want more info about you.  If they find something that they find that they didnt really care for at least they are
being kind enough to question you about it.  Its definatly not an invasion of privacy because its stuff you did publicly.
If it was a long time ago then maybe you have reasons for writing whatever it is you were writing back then and it does
no apply now but still.... not fair for you to hide who you are from a perspective dom they have every right to protect
themselves from desperate subs.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/12/2007 12:20:03 PM   
sireninchains


Posts: 63
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I see all of your points...and your all right. It was his right to search the information...but did they have to TELL me??? I dont know, I think I would have been much better off with the idea if they had kept the information to themselves. Like...what happens in vegas, stays in vegas. Ya know? I put the information there, its nothing I wouldnt have said in time...just weird that they told me and not the other way around. But, I get everyones point here. I get what I get for putting the stuff out there initially.

~Fly with Grace~
sireninchains

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/12/2007 1:48:17 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		People's views will also change with time.  If you can get over your perception that this person invaded your privacy it might open up some really great one on one conversations as to how and why particular views have changed on your end.  It can actually be a really good step to see if you are compatible with how people grow and change over time.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to sireninchains)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/12/2007 3:03:44 PM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sireninchains

I see all of your points...and your all right. It was his right to search the information...but did they have to TELL me??? I dont know, I think I would have been much better off with the idea if they had kept the information to themselves. Like...what happens in vegas, stays in vegas. Ya know? I put the information there, its nothing I wouldnt have said in time...just weird that they told me and not the other way around. But, I get everyones point here. I get what I get for putting the stuff out there initially.

~Fly with Grace~
sireninchains

You know, there is nothing wrong for being who you really are and being respected for it.  You didnt do anything wrong by posting information.  When it comes to wild party nights... I dont think you could find a crowd more accepting then here... when it comes to kink its the same way. As far as him telling you... hey he was up front an
honest... whats wrong with that?  If he didnt like what you did.... well then  you are better off without him.


(in reply to sireninchains)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/12/2007 3:52:27 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		Over the years i've gotten rather good at searching for people, except for the two times it really mattered -- natch!!  There are things on Google under this nick, and an old one i had (both not even mentioned to anyone i work with), and thanks to my employer even my real name is all over the net.  Since i only state my opinions, or experiences without names, i don't worry overly much about my forum posts, and i have no control over what my employer put on-line, so again i don't bother to get my knickers in a twist..lol.  If what i write offends someone they can darn well block me or stay away from Google..lol.  i've only had something i've written used against me a couple of times, and i quickly decided they weren't worth the effort and moved on.  i can understand, however, why it would bother some, especially those who have security clearances, so in that case they need to be careful what they post any where.

cheers,
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to sireninchains)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/12/2007 5:50:18 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sireninchains

I wouldnt post this but its happened to me twice, and I want to know if Masters, or anyone really, but since most of the contact I have is with Doms and Masters its going here, find this acceptable.I will be exchanging messages with someone, and we will get to the point where we exchange im names, and I use one of my im handles for alot of things (ive stopped giving out this handle, so dont lecture me on this one please). Anyway, twice people have googled it, and approached me with information from my previous forum posts and blog entries from YEARS ago? Is this appropriate to delve that deeply into someones life on a first chat even? I mean, they were things I would have divulged eventually, theres just no reason to get into the nitty gritty of my past when I'm just beginning to talk to someone.
~Fly with Grace~
sireninchains

Sireninchains...
I personally would be a bit uncomfortable with someone basically calling me on the carpet about something that happened or that i may have posted years ago unless they were in my life for a while.....to me it would feel like a set up thing....for me if someone wants to know something abotu me...just ask I am more than open and more than honest to a fault about my relationships and experiences so for soemone to quote me from eons ago in my opinion is immature and that would be at least an orange flag for me.
red

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to sireninchains)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/12/2007 6:18:45 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		Googling your name, finding your street address, and showing up on your doorstep would be inappropriate. If you've published commentary that may be germain to the subject at hand - and yes, forum discussion counts as a form of publication for this argument, you should be prepared for that to become part of the conversation.

NEVER PUBLISH WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT OTHERS TO READ.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to sireninchains)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/12/2007 7:35:26 PM   
facinated


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sireninchains

I see all of your points...and your all right. It was his right to search the information...but did they have to TELL me??? I dont know, I think I would have been much better off with the idea if they had kept the information to themselves. Like...what happens in vegas, stays in vegas. Ya know? I put the information there, its nothing I wouldnt have said in time...just weird that they told me and not the other way around. But, I get everyones point here. I get what I get for putting the stuff out there initially.

~Fly with Grace~
sireninchains



I’m with you. I feel to Google and tell is somehow a little infantile.
I’d be more on the side of Google and use the knowledge to improve the conversation.



(in reply to sireninchains)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/12/2007 8:02:25 PM   
N4SDChastity


Posts: 327
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline 		My view - Having "access" to information, and having a "right" to it are totally different concepts.  If someone leaves their bankbook in plain sight, lying on a table (it does not matter WHERE this table is located), do you have a "right" to go looking through it?  No, you do not.  Does that person have an expectation that that information will remain confidential?  No, they do not, not if it's left in plain sight.  OP left hos "bankbook" laying around and someone peeked.  Change your account number and be more careful NEXT TIME,

(in reply to facinated)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/13/2007 2:34:09 PM   
BrutalDemon


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		If you meant it when you said it... then where's the harm in someone current, looking through your past attitudes and opinions to make sure you're behaving consistently over time?

If you have something to hide, then maybe you DO have cause to worry if people go trolling through whatever info you have about yourself on the 'web.

_____________________________

Old enough to know better... but still young enough to not care

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/13/2007 2:55:33 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		You put it out on a public medium so it isn't an invasion of privacy. I googled him after he gave me his full name, looked up exactly where the town he lived in was, and discovered some scientific paper he had written. We talked about his town and mine, and he attempted to explain the paper but had to give up when I admitted I didn't even understand what the title meant.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/14/2007 6:22:34 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		if i'm interested in someone, then i too google them to see where they come from, where they have been, how they think, etc...

it's not an invasion of privacy because anyone who posts anything on the internet should be old enough and smart enough to know that it's going to be accessable by others.



quote:

ORIGINAL: sireninchains

I wouldnt post this but its happened to me twice, and I want to know if Masters, or anyone really, but since most of the contact I have is with Doms and Masters its going here, find this acceptable.

I will be exchanging messages with someone, and we will get to the point where we exchange im names, and I use one of my im handles for alot of things (ive stopped giving out this handle, so dont lecture me on this one please). Anyway, twice people have googled it, and approached me with information from my previous forum posts and blog entries from YEARS ago? Is this appropriate to delve that deeply into someones life on a first chat even? I mean, they were things I would have divulged eventually, theres just no reason to get into the nitty gritty of my past when I'm just beginning to talk to someone.

~Fly with Grace~
sireninchains



(in reply to sireninchains)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/14/2007 6:29:54 AM   
BeatMeDaily


Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalDemon

If you meant it when you said it... then where's the harm in someone current, looking through your past attitudes and opinions to make sure you're behaving consistently over time?


the past is the past, people DO change.    " behaving consistently over time", give me a break 
what if in the past you had problems or issues and corrected them, does that disqualify you forever ??

_____________________________

It takes all kinds of critters to make Uncle Ben's fritters.

(in reply to BrutalDemon)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/14/2007 8:57:28 AM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I agree that it's kinda creepy, I've had it happen to me. But I will say that I would MUCH rather be told "hey, I found this about you" and talk about it or whatever, and be creeped out, than what has happened to me in the past.

Someone googled me, found my home website with images hosted, including chat room avatars that had my chat handle on them. And he started calling me by THAT name. I use the name Elorin for almost everything, you can learn a lot about me by googling it. My mother even calls me Elorin sometimes. My coworkers don't blink when I make a phone call and say "it's Elorin". To have someone suddenly call me Robyn was creepy, not to mention inappropriate. While I will grant, it IS my given name, and I love my parents for giving it to me, the person in question had no way of knowing if it was my name, a chat name, or anything else. The assumptions and changed behaviors based on what someone THINKS they know because of what they googled is MUCH worse than being told they googled me and talking about what they found.

~E

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/14/2007 9:11:20 AM   
WilliamWizer


Posts: 223
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeatMeDaily

the past is the past, people DO change.    " behaving consistently over time", give me a break 
what if in the past you had problems or issues and corrected them, does that disqualify you forever ??


of course not. if you corrected them it won't be a problem to talk about them. you don't need to hide it.

_____________________________

There's only two rules for a sub:
- she can do anything her Master didn't forbid her.
- she only needs to do what her Master told her to do.

(in reply to BeatMeDaily)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/14/2007 10:16:10 AM   
Hrafnkel


Posts: 21
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		Oooh. I kinda find this question interesting. Probably because I have so many conflicting reactions.

On one hand, I like to try to believe in good faith, in trust (which is hard enough for me), and in having respect for a potential partner. Enough respect to give the benefit of the doubt.

On the other hand, I firmly believe in accountability and responsibility. I feel it's actually not such a bad thing that a person can't just be totally anonymous and hide from their past, even accepting that people do learn and grow...

But, then back to the first hand a person should have some boundaries and priviledges and to say, "None of your damn business until I say it's your business."

But then the other person has the right to not accept that and move on, leaving you to your business.

But then people have to be responsible for their own safety and well being, and you /should/ try to be as informed about a potential partner as possible and only give trust where it's earned...

I could go on. Of all the questions where there is supposedly some moral and ethical ambiguity, it's my opinion that this is a big one..

< Message edited by Hrafnkel -- 4/14/2007 10:19:41 AM >

(in reply to WilliamWizer)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/14/2007 12:37:06 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PONYSEEKER

Although I dont think people really have the right to judge you they do have the right to judge if you are right for them. If someone is doing a little background research into what you have writen in the past than it definatly means that they like
you and want more info about you.  If they find something that they find that they didnt really care for at least they are
being kind enough to question you about it.  Its definatly not an invasion of privacy because its stuff you did publicly.
If it was a long time ago then maybe you have reasons for writing whatever it is you were writing back then and it does
no apply now but still.... not fair for you to hide who you are from a perspective dom they have every right to protect
themselves from desperate subs.


This has happened with me.  I've been approached by someone interested, not knowing that prior to the actual approach, that many of my writings here were viewed, as research.  This apparently solidified the desire to write to me.

But it's a two-way street if you're at least a little clever about it.  Upon receiving this first message, before I even bothered to return the message, I did the same thing, at least to the extent of looking up that person's posts.  It helped me understand more about that person without having to ask.

Of course, once you 'have' the information, you can then ask about it casually, to see if the story is the same (presumably making it the truth), or not (hence at some point a lie has been told).

I recently found that when I chat in Yahoo, my 'actual' name comes up, which can then be used to do background checks and whatnot.  Good thing I've managed to fly under the radar, yeah?

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/14/2007 2:29:47 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Internet privacy is a myth. Notice all the websites that magically seem to know where you live and even your name? The information is there and people with the software can get it. There's very little we can do about it


< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 4/14/2007 2:34:38 PM >

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to sireninchains)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/14/2007 2:33:57 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		It's not magical.  If you've ever filled out an online form, the information is there.  As far as Yahoo goes, change the profile (athough it may be too late).  You know, you don't HAVE to put your real name on forms....there's no checker...email addys, yes, but names?  Nah!

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Invasion of privacy - 4/14/2007 2:45:36 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I was being sarcastic. Unfortanely I use my computer for tasks assocaited with my every day life so have to give out personal information out on online forms.

Some other tips are to constantly delete all your cookies and Temporary Internet folder. I use System Mechanic 5 to do all my privacy maintence.

I have one hotmail account and one yahoo account that are completely anonymous and a third that I use to deal with all my personal life stuff like ordering things online, paying bills, and receiving emails from people I work with.



_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 40
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