RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity



Message

MistressDoMe -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 9:41:22 AM)

I am single, so I prefer my submissive to be single.
I think it is better if the married find other married people to play with.
Most single people are going to be on the losing end of the relationship,
unless they are just looking for a short term situation.



Jansneeds -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 9:48:19 AM)

I love married women



sophia37 -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 9:52:22 AM)

To Hrfknle: Sorry I slaughtered your name. Thats a tuff one for sure! lol

Anyway, you said, "if a woman is willing to .. break solemn vows,"
I need to reply here and say to you,  I got married in front of a Justice of the Peace. I wasnt even given a copy of what essentially was a contract. While I wasnt laughing during the ceremony, I hadnt scrutinzed it in advance either. So Im not sure Ive broken any vows or anything by dating outside the marriage.

And this part really doesnt describe me at all.  "If she has so little respect for herself that she's willing to behave this way, then where is the thrill in it?"
The reason I have a boyfriend is that I havent lost all self respect for myself. That was a really big part of deciding to have more than one man in my life.

The " Any cock will do" thought is really just a mindless insult thrown to the wind. 

"Anyone can get submission from the morally or mentally weak".Yup. Thats me. mentally weak. lolol

Heres is the rock bottom truth in your post. "I don't get excitement from that ." So why not admit it up front instead and leave it at that. You obviously have no true experience with the subject. 



sophia37 -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 10:02:22 AM)

LockedAway:

Why would you presume this: "Before someone takes a lover outside the marriage, the other spouse should be shown the respect of being informed and having the opportunity to find a lover themselves rather than just be taken advantage of."

In what way have i taken advantage of my husband by having a lover? There is no way you can knowingly answer this question. Yes, you can make up your own ethos and post it and abide by it. But you cannot in anyway say what someone else should do.



sophia37 -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 10:15:30 AM)

To LockedAway: You said  "If you cheat, you betray." If you use the word Cheat to mean having more than one partner, why is that a "betrayal?" Perhaps its simply fact? And you say, 

"If you feel that betrayal and hiding something from your spouse is alright then it speaks volumes about your character. " I agree. It shows me that I am a loving caring and considerate person. And no one here can know my heart but me and my god. And believe it or not, I am good with this. And quite frankly being the person that I am, my husband wuill not fault me either when it comes rifght down to it.

I hide many things from my husband as does he from me.  I hide much from my children as do they with me. Simple fact of life. Most of us choose to keep some thoughts and actions private from others, for a variety of reasons. Not all those reasons are fo rthe bad. Do you think you do bad by witholding some things? No. Sometimes you withold for the good. Its a judgement call.

And yet, I dont really hide my affair from my husband. he knows he can find a lover on his own should he want one.  I just wont be so open about it as to cause jealousy and fear of abandonment.



sophia37 -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 10:23:27 AM)

Oh wait a  minute. Single men bedding marreid womem?

CaptnBlacks post made me rememeber an article i just read about men doing just this. They're called Mandingos. Im sorry I cant recall the magazine. Maybe if you google in Mandingos, a bunch of articles will turn up.

The response to the article was really memorable thats for sure. 100 people wrote in to say how offensive they thought it was. Especially since the Mandings were young beautiful black men, and the women with their husbands were white, wealthy and out of shape.

In many ways, thats what CaptnBlack seems to be talking about. Very interesting. Its becoming an acceptable kink.



Twicehappy2x -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 10:26:38 AM)

quote:

Then you may want to find a more appropriate word or read a dictionary.
Cheating is - by definition - fraud.  A lie.
If the vows you took, and the partner you are with, allowed for poly - then that is not cheating. Period.So IYO - there are a large majority of posters here, in long term poly relationships - and they are all cheaters?
 

Exactly, we do practice fidelity to each other, period. Absolutely no sex, no scenes  with those not considered to be a part of the family.



Hrafnkel -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 10:55:35 AM)

I was surprised to find this thread still going on, just as I was surprised to find I could still log in after deleting my profile.

After two days and two debates online I am convinced this isn't the place for me. And since I apparently still can, I'll tell you why.

I came here looking for a community of responsible adults to share thoughts and views with. Quite frankly a ten page thread seriously debating weather or not it's good clean fun to lie and cheat to someone you're in a committed relationship with doesn't quite cut it in my book.

Whatever approach you take to lifestyle, it's my opnion that the foundation for delving into it is that every person should have as much freedom as they're willing to take responsibility for. Let's look at this version of responsibility...

"But telling the truth is hard..."
"But lying is so much fun and so much easier..."
"But I have needs..."

And my favorite, the petulant...

"Well *sniff* I hope you never get put into circumstances like mine, cause it was hard and I just had to..."

*shakes his head*
No dice. If you're willing to slide around on the topic to justify your actions then I feel you're not fit for relationships, let alone ones where so much of another person's well being depends on your sticking by your word. This isn't the mark of a responsible adult. Its the response of an undisciplined child.

"I'm glad your integrity is entact hope your moral qualities never get tested like mine have..."

Well... they have. And I've failed more than my share of the time. I've said that. But, like anything that isn't useful in buttressing what people want to believe, it is roundly ignored on these boards. But, I try to stand tall and accept the consequences of my wrongs, and my screw ups... I dont spend days on a board trying to convince others it was AOK just to assuage my guilt. My guilt is only assuaged by doing better and trying to mend the damage I've done. Weeks or years of justification only make you better at screwing up.

So, in reply, I'm glad my moral compass is entact, too. And I feel I can do it the most justice by not subjecting it to this any further. And best of luck to those very few others who don't buy this self-endulgent, liscentious, immature whinning.




darkinshadows -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 10:59:31 AM)

If you signed out on the profile side of collarme - then that doesn't sign you out from here - they are two different parts. (You need to delete from here also).
 
Other than that - heres hoping you path is blessed.
Peace and Rapture



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 11:09:25 AM)

So do we!!!!! bounty



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 11:14:35 AM)

Some says it cheating some not, it cheating when your other half is kept in the dark about it.ITS the best of both worlds those day time, weekend encounters,the ones that play with us do so with their partner's permission.What to say about those that live with a vanilla partner's and not willing to change?I guess then you cheat to fill you needs,To all those sweet married woman near us we await you smiles...bounty



velvetears -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 11:19:26 AM)

Hranfnkel, actually if you perused the threads more you would probably find your POV is the majority not the minority here. As susan suggested read the CIAW thread and you will get 27 pages of people who agree with you lol.  i don't happen to be one of them but we are all entitled to our opinions here.  This is by and large a good population of people - most are polite and helpful, some are strong in their opinions, some just downright mean - kinda like what you find in real life encounters.  Why take such offense and feel, after only such a short time, that everyone here is self-endulgent, liscentious, immature whinning. 
 
We all walk our own path in this life and we all have to be accountable for our actions.  If someone disagrees with me so be it - the stronger they debate it, the more i respect them for it because it means something to them, even though i don't agree with them they are entitled to their pov, just as i am.  

Good luck - i think if you stick around you will see there is more value here then not. 



lockedaway -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 11:20:02 AM)

Sophia, you make my argument, thanks.  Your husband KNOWS about your affair and he is free to take another lover.  Fine...good....no problem.  That is what is called an open marriage.  If you had your husband cuckoded as your submissive that would be fine too.  But when someone cheats and hides from their spouse that they have a lover and the spouse is operating under the misconception that the other spouse is loyal, that makes the cheating spouse a piece of sh*t.  If you go back and read my other posts on this subject then you will more fully understand what I'm talking about.

Concerning what the other young lady said about there being moral absolutes prohibiting the use of children and animals...who is she to "cherry pick" which moral absolutes have to be followed by all people?  If there is not a moral absolute that says that cheating is wrong then there is also no moral abosolute that says that rape is wrong or pedofilian is wrong or beastiality.  You can't pick and choose.  If some betrayal is appropriate then ALL BETRAYAL IS APPROPRIATE. 
It is an amazingly simple concept; sorry if it hurts certain people's feelings.



texancutie -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 11:27:06 AM)

Wow...is this ever an old thread!  I just say this, we all can agree to disagree without pointing fingers at others.  Regardless of how we feel about the topic at hand; we all are probably never going to meet anyway.  So if some people state they are doing this without another parties knowledge....it's their life...not mine.  I am not the thought police, nor a member of the moral majority (whatever that moral majority truly is behind closed doors).  What people do to get them through this life, whether it chafes at another person, is fine with me as long as it is legal and no one is being harmed physically or emotionally.  I accept others for what they are, faults and all.  Or I at least try.



Twicehappy2x -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 11:31:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: texancutie

Wow...is this ever an old thread!  Had no idea the OP posted this back in 2005. 


Huh? Opened on  4/13/2007 12:00:02 AM   



SusanofO -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 11:35:04 AM)

Hey there velvetears (just wanted to say "hello"). I agree with texancutie, and it is not my wish to start an endless argument, but I am going to state my POV one more time, for the record, on this whole topic area (and then I am leaving it alone, and probably forever).

I almost don't know what to say to that, locked away (you really should take a look at the CIAW thread, IMO). cloudboy (who is in an open marriage, and has a Mistress) started it because he was so tired of hearing about how adamantly "Cheating Is Always, Always, Always Wrong" and there is never, ever, ever any circumstance where it might be understandable, much less warranted. 

I am not trying to diss you, personally (I truly am not) but - I guess it's not the POV that cheating isn't honest, of some folks that bugs me. It really is more their 1) Lack of imagination and 2) Adamant (and often loud) Fundamentalism.

I don't really find their adamant stance to be "morally" on a higher plane, in particular. After all, wasn't it God who said: "Let he among you who is without sin, cast the first stone?"

I realize we all have a right to our POV, but have to say that - when threads like this get really heated, I rest my case, in thinking I am justified, that people who think themselves on some moral high horse, for always having been "non cheaters" (most of whom have never managed to maintain a LTR of at least 10 year's in duration, and many of whom are not even married) are instead sometimes (not always certainly, but a lot of the time, IMO): Small-minded, petty, judgmental and mean, in espousing their views. So which is really worse?

In this case, I'll  be very tempted to go for an open-minded, kind-hearted cheater, vs. a mean-spirited, rigid yet "moral" non-cheater (who may well abuse their partner in other ways, instead).

And I, too, am sorry if that hurts anyone's feelings. And again, that is truly not personally directed comment, I've just been around this block before (and it doesn't seem to change much).

But this time, in this thread, I will say it was less heated, and for that I am slightly encouraged, regardless of whether anyone changes their POV. That would not be a goal of mine - of course people have a right to their POV. Less heated discussions about this topic area might be easier to stomach, though.

Although as always, I do realize that the optimal solution for people who don't like how others "relate" is always at hand: If you don't like it then get off the thread (and in the case of this particular topic area, that is mostly what I've decided to do). 

- Susan  



texancutie -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 11:55:39 AM)

lol..sorry...something is up with my computer today.  Though I have been ill this weekend, so it could very well be the user.  Sheesh...well...it seems like an old thread anyway.  Think it is because this topic has already been done to death previously.  [:D]



TexasMaam -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a deliciousness (4/15/2007 12:05:19 PM)

There are usually two people on both sides of an extra marital relationship using each other to get what they want.

What turns out NOT to be so delicious, is when one of them is just a user and leaves the other unfulfilled.

One person in an extramarital affair is always going to end up wanting more than they can have.  Because it's usually the woman who gets emotionally involved, and the man who could care less as long as he has his fucktoy, it's usally the woman who gets hurt.

On the one hand, I can see where a sadistic mind fuck would really be fueled by such fire.  Sadistic is as masochism does. 

On the other, there's a huge difference between an ethical Dominant and a well cared for sub, VS a sexual Predator and his victim.

You've made it clear that you've crossed that line.  Shame, that.

TexasMaam



velvetears -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 12:08:17 PM)

Hey there susan :-) Well here we are again....lol.... i doubt this will go 27 pages [:D].  Don't you find it curious that the minority here are the moral majority lol.  Well it is Sunday - maybe they are all in church [;)]



SusanofO -> RE: How many others prefer the submissive female to be married? Would you agree there is a delicious (4/15/2007 12:14:42 PM)

Hi there, yeah, IMO, everyone has a right to their POV, I just refuse to be camped into "whore" territory (and in my case it's slightly questionable if that term applies, but that doesn't matter, and I don't care anyway, really) - But when non-cheating partners could well be doing a host of things possibly worse than being dis-honest to their partners instead (maybe that is digression, but I still find it pretty darn relevant).

I also just can't believe this area of discussion was introduced. IMO, anyone who reads these threads knows where it could go. It's a free country, but it's not like this topic (or ensuing heated "discussion") is anything new. 

As a topic, I think it can be very divisive, and can tear people apart, who may well find they have a lot in common otherwise, and I think that's a little bit of a shame. I don't, frankly believe it is always so "black and white". But again that is only my POV, and I am not (truly) trying to squelch any true discussion. I really am not. 

Discuss away - IMO it can be interesting, I imagine, sans angry banter and insinuated insults (from either POV), which maybe can be done. I appreciate an honest partner, and most always try to be one. I have also personally known the very painful, and strange, extenuating marital circumstance, in which I was successfully tempted by infidelity.

Maybe the bottom-line is that some folks just agree to dis-agree. End of my rant. 

- Susan



Page: <<   < prev  7 8 9 [10] 11   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.140625