Emperor1956
Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005 Status: offline
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OK THIS IS IMPORTANT. I don't know if any of you know this, but coffee enemas are believed by many to be therapeutic in cleansing the body of toxins. One of the most common uses (recommended by alternative medicine types) is to treat cancer. So I knew this...but what I didn't know was there is a BRAND of coffee sold for coffee enema therapy. Yes. I said it here first. Coffee DESIGNED to go up your wazzoo! My mind is boggled. Think of how this reshapes the entire coffee advertising industry. Think of the icons of all of our youthful coffee experiences... Remember Mrs. Olson? The older Swedish lady who counselled buying Folgers to those sobbing young housewives who's husbands never asked for a second cup? WELL... "Dear, you should use Dr. Vilson's coffee. Your husband vill vant another cup shoved up his bum efery morning!" Need I mention that throbbingly sexy British couple that met in those "Taster's Choice" instant ads? WE now know what was in their cups...and where it was going when they signed off. and... "My name is Juan Valdez. Every morning I pick the goddamn coffee beans so the crazy Americans can shove them up their fat Imperialist asses. Today I am "accidentally" picking some of the habanero peppers, si?" I don't think I can ever again walk by a Starbucks without giggling. -E I was extremely happy with the results of the very first tests. People were reporting huge differences between my Therapy Blend and whatever coffee they had been using previously. "Easier to retain", "more effective at pain reduction" and "less harsh" were comments I heard time and again. -- Dr. S.A. Wilson, on developing his "therapy blend" of anal coffee. I'm NOT making this stuff up, you know.
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"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?" "What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?" "I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said.
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